


How is this Even My Life?

by MsSpyder



Series: Life Less Ordinary [1]
Category: British Actor RPF, Richard Armitage - Fandom
Genre: Age Difference, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Car Sex, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Humor, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Mental Health Issues, Phone Sex, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Assault, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-02-13 14:24:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 109,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2153868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsSpyder/pseuds/MsSpyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let me preface the plot summary by stating that this is a complete work of fiction written in an invented timeline which happens to involve made up alter egos of real life people. I will not claim any accuracy of locations, events or even the people that these characters might remind you of. It is fiction, period. Oh and I'm a romantic, hopelessly so, so expect to be knee deep in fluff and mush. There will be sex but I like a nice slow build up so that will come later. This is my first attempt at something like this so be gentle. So here goes nothing!</p><p> </p><p>Fate certainly has a creative way of placing people in each other's paths. An unexpected circumstance introduces the two main characters who had actually met before albeit briefly. They say it all turns out in the end, and if it hasn't turned out, it's not the end. But will it turn out for these two?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Have We Met?

**Author's Note:**

> Rape/Non-con
> 
> I didn't put it in the archive warnings because I didn't want it perceived that the romance part of this fiction was about >that< . However, there is a sexual assault later in the piece and I wanted people to know that it wasn't about making this woman seem complex or to add drama in a way that could have been done better in other ways. I feel that people often use it in writing in a way that downplays what that means for everyone involved. But 1 in 5 women, folks...It happens to more couples than is acknowledged. And, in that, I felt it made this a real relationship issue with real people responding to all parts of it and about the healing that takes place when love exists. Unfortunately, I have personal experience and this was part of my healing as well.

Prologue

 

It was the greatest day of her life. Comic Con was a tradition, and she hadn’t been in years thanks to her stupid ex-husband. But she wasn’t going to think of him anymore. She was about to meet the man of her dreams. When she turned to her friend Adam, she asked, “Do I look alright?”

Adam rolled his eyes. “What good is being gorgeous if you are totally unaware of it? Honey, you’re going to knock him flat on his ass.”

“I sincerely doubt that.” She sighed, but the breath caught in her throat as she realized she was next in line. _Oh, my God, he is perfect._ And then he looked right at her. Nothing on earth could prepare her for the way she would feel at that moment. His gaze moved over her before settling once again on her face.

She felt Adam give her a nudge. “He’s waiting for you, Sunshine.”

That was when he smiled, making it obvious to her that he'd heard her friend's remark. Richard Armitage was smiling at her. _He’s waiting for me_. She was confident that her knees would give way at any moment. His rumbling voice beckoned, “Hello, what’s your name?”

She moved to stand directly in front of him before answering. “Stevie…Stevie Goodwin. It's a pleasure to meet you.” _Good lord! Don’t cry, Stevie._ She could hear Adam taking photos as tears prickled in her eyes from the maelstrom of emotions swirling around her.

He signed a photo, which was part of the deal for being there in the first place, “Well, lovely Stevie Goodwin, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” His voice was like warm chocolate and sex. His gaze once again swept over her. “Your costume would rival our costumer’s work.”

She’d blushed, “Thank you, I sew a bit.” _You’re so glib and smooth with words, Stevie. UGH!_ She worried her lip before asking, “Could I get a photo with you?” She managed finally finding her voice.

His expression was kind and warm and very genuine. “Of course, but only if your friend won’t mind getting one for me too?” he pulled out his phone and offered it to Adam after finding the camera feature. He towered over her, “Good Lord you make me feel giant.” He had said, slipping an arm around her. He was massive compared to her, and the solidness of him was clear to her as he drew her closer to him. He smelled faintly of aftershave and soap. An arousing combination when it mixed with his body chemistry that was both clean and manly. She prayed that he hadn’t felt her body betray her by shivering.

At the end of the day, Richard was found on a bar stool staring at his phone. He didn’t need the photo to remember every detail of the hauntingly beautiful girl he’d met earlier. Dressed as an impressively accurate, feminine interpretation of Legolas, her skin was like polished ivory, and her brown eyes in her young face reflected a deep sadness. But he remembered how her face lit up when she looked at him. Whatever had been troubling her had been made better in the short she’d spent with him. He had noticed the tears she had held back, and they stirred some unnamed emotion from within him. When he had touched her, he felt her shiver, which had thrilled his masculine ego more than a little. She smelled of cinnamon and vanilla rather than the perfume he’d smelled all day of the other women he’d met. She was softness and curves under her leather waistcoat. And when he’d offered her a hug it was warmly received as she had slipped her arms around his middle. And then she had whispered her gratitude into his ear before placing the softest, sweetest, kiss on his cheek. He couldn’t shake the feeling of significance he’d felt from the fleeting encounter.

Martin and Lee took a seat at the bar next to him on either side. Martin had noticed the photo Richard was looking at and commented,“There you are, you’ve been missing for a bit.”

“Oh yeah, just decompressing.”

“I remember her, that costume was impressive though she was short to be a proper elf.”

Lee leaned over and rolled his eyes, “She was more like a hobbit though gorgeous. You should have gotten her phone number, Rich.”

Richard chuckled humorlessly, “Like that wouldn’t cause my publicist to have a massive coronary or anything.” He shook his head over what felt very like a school boy’s crush on a female fan. I’m far too old for such foolish notions. “Besides, she and that bloke she was with make for a stunning couple I’m certain.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=28rfkw4)

Chapter One

 

_One year later…_

 

"What do you mean Clark left?" Richard asked the salon receptionist, frowning like the devil. His tightly booked schedule signified that a setback like this would make his assistant have a stroke.

"He's gone, sir, I'm sorry. As of this morning he …left."

 _Shit._ He ran his hands through his hair with frustration but forced himself to calm down. After all, it was no one in the room’s fault. And scaring this poor girl would serve no purpose. "Okay well, I need my hair cut today."

Michael came around the corner and shook Richard’s hand. "That won't be a problem. I'm sorry about this. But we're in luck that Stevie started last month, here, not doing hair altogether, and I promise you'll like her. I've known her a long time and finally convinced her to move to New York to work for me. Her specialty is gent’s cuts."

"She's available right now?" He took a breath. "If so, I'll not turn it down at this point." He couldn’t imagine Michael would jerk him around about this new girl’s talent.

She was pacing the break room floor, trying not to flip out. Michael’s knowing grin appeared around the corner. “It’s all about you, babe.” He wiggled his eyebrows, enjoying watching Stevie get flustered like this. It had been a long time in coming.

“Michael, I can’t do this.” She was wringing her hands.

“Sure you can. You’ve had high profile clients before.”

“None I’ve had vivid sex dreams about though.” She groaned. Richard fucking Armitage was waiting in the reception area for her to go cut his hair. She would be touching him. Would he remember her? She sincerely doubted it.

“Honey, you’re my best hairdresser. I need you to come through. Besides, you can thank me by naming your first born son after me.” He winked

She made an unladylike noise as she turned to leave the room, “I hate you.”

Michael merely laughed.

She saw him first as he leaned against the desk, fiddling with his phone with a slight furrow in his brow. He was dressed simply in a gray t-shirt and faded jeans. And man could he wear the hell out of a pair of jeans with those muscular thighs encased in them. _For the love of god, don’t drool on the man._ She had a short moment to take a cleansing breath for focus before he looked up at the sound of her heels on the tile floor. _Oh god…_

He’d heard her approach and what appeared around the corner was someone who looked to be half the age of his last stylist. The raven haired girl had skin like polished porcelain, and the largest pair of brown eyes possible on her face. The only thing that gave the silken complexion any interruption was a lip ring, a sprinkle of unconventional piercings over her ears, and quite the tapestry of tattoos decorating her shoulders and arms. It looked as if that the under part of her hair had been cropped close to her head. She might have looked rough if it wasn't for artfully tousled waves in her very long hair, falling about a sleeveless blouse of delicate antique lace. She was also small and shapely, and he guessed she was 5'2" without the little spiky heeled boots she wore over black leggings. She was, in fact, blindingly beautiful, looked very like a pixie and made him feel big and clumsy.

Recognition was visible in her eyes though she was professional when she banked whatever thoughts she might have had on the matter of who he was for a dazzling smile.

She was hella nervous, not because she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to impress this client who would be sorely disappointed to see her at first, but because she was a HUGE fan. But now she was face to face with the devastatingly handsome broody Richard Armitage, and she had to pretend it didn't matter at all that this was a dream come true for her. "Hello, Mr. Armitage, I'm Stevie. If you follow me, I'll be cutting your hair today." She extended her small, well-manicured hand first. He couldn’t help but notice the black nail polish. She was cute but a little weird for his taste.

He took it and gave it a squeeze none the less. "Hullo, Stevie. Please call me Richard." His eyes had narrowed for a moment. There was something familiar about her though he couldn't say why he felt that.   _  
_

She gestured for him to sit, and she faced him before she even touched him. "I know this first meeting isn't ideal. But you have nothing to worry about, I promise I've seen this done once or twice, and I'm sure I have the hang of it by now." Her smile appeared after her straight-faced delivery.

Her sharp wit was disarming, and he laughed straight away. "Well, at least the company will be nice even if you bollocks my hairstyle."

She breathed a bit now as she set to work on an actual consultation. He needed his hair to change very little and would be back every 2-3 weeks at this point. She surprised him by asking. "Would you like me to trim your beard?"

"Clark didn't do that but if that's an option yes, please." She slipped cinnamon gum in her mouth while he wasn't looking, remembering the breakfast she had.

He had noticed how small her hands were and was shocked by their strength during what had to be the most incredible shampoo he'd ever experienced. "How many proposals for marriage do you get from this?"

She giggled, "Too many to count. But I gave up marriage for Lent."

He chuckled, "Oh are you Catholic then?"

He could hear the grin in her voice. "Not at all. They'd never have me."

That set the tone for the service itself. He watched her as she worked, not at all in a hurry, but efficient none the less.

"So here's the part where I'd ask you what you do. But I already know that part." She said with a little smile. "So am I cutting your hair in preparation for something in particular?"

His baritone, accented voice was musical. "Well I have a couple of interviews in London next week in preparation for the release of my new movie, and then Comic Con in San Diego."

"Oh I love Comic Con! Sadly it's something about living in San Diego I'm going to miss actually."

"Really?" He looked surprised. "You don't strike me as...well a typical attendee."

"Costume and all." She shrugged.

It dawned on him. “Stevie…” He said softly. “Wait a moment...” He watched her stiffen in the mirror as he pulled out his phone. “Stevie…I don’t remember your last name, but I’m nearly positive we’ve met before.” He shuffled through photos pulling up the one that the bloke she was with had taken for him. He turned to look up at her. “There, dressed like Legolas. Why didn’t you say something?” he was suddenly fascinated by her.

She blushed, “Oh please, there’s no graceful way of doing that because I had no way of knowing if you would remember me out of all the fans you meet every other day. And I was trying to quell the inner screaming fangirl for the sake of professionalism. I could tell that you were initially irritated to find your regular hairdresser gone and didn't want to irritate you further. And it is my suspicion that you would rather have your day to day activities not involve what you do for a living more than they already do.”

Her animated explanation apparently amused him. “Fair enough.”

Watching her work, he noticed that she was so meticulous that it was like watching someone perform. When she finally sprayed it down and combed it into place with some product he looked it over. His smile was genuine and filled with a touch of surprise as she spun him around to see all angles. "This is marvelous!"

"I'm glad you won't be needing to buy a hat at the corner shop."

He laughed as she put up his chair to trim his beard. He wondered a little about the odd cadence of her American accent.

"How much there?" she asked, indicating his beard.

"Oh about half of what you see actually. It grows pretty fast, and I was starting to look like a derelict.”

"That would be impossible." She shook her head, leaning in close to start with his beard.

Her breath smelled of cinnamon and her skin smelled of vanilla though he could tell she tried not to breathe in his face as she worked. He was fascinated by her mouth, a flawlessly painted little pout. While he’d seen women with lip rings, he’d never wondered overly much about what kissing a woman with one would be like before now. She would stop and back up to look occasionally. He took one such moment to ask, "Does that thing in your lip ever get in the way?"

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=s25ird)

She smiled into his watchful eyes as she tipped his face back to get underneath his jawline. "You're wondering if I leak when I drink aren't you?"

His eyes glittered with amusement though he waited until she was at a place where he could talk safely. "A little, yes. I feel young people such as you were placed in my path for the express purpose of making me feel ancient and dreadfully dull."

She finished before grabbing her straight razor to edge everything. “Old or dull are not the first words I’d use to describe you,” concentrating on her work as she’d said that. 

She took a steam towel and placed it on his neck first, before lathering it. This unexpected little detail rarely existed outside of a barber shop. Though he found it enjoyable, it was not a luxury he indulged himself in more than a handful of times. And each time there was a man performing the service. There was something about Stevie's touch that added a significant level of decadence to the experience. Cute but weird apparently did not cancel out raw sensuality. 

"I bet I'm not as young as you think I am.” 

Her voice thankfully interrupted his wandering thoughts. Getting aroused would make things awkward when the protective cape was removed. _Behave yourself, Richard._  "You have a straight razor and I'm a bit afraid of guessing incorrectly." He teased.

"Blood is icky. You're safe."

She wiped the cream away from his neckline while he said. "Well then...25 tops." She ditched the dirty towel and retrieved a fresh one to steam under his jawline. He could get used to pampering like this. He noticed the humor glittering in her eyes. "No?"

"No. I'm in my thirties."

"You are not." He blinked as she stretched his neck up for her to carefully shave his neck. It felt good, as her touch was perfect. He tried not to wonder what her touch would be like in other circumstances.

"Yes. 33 to be exact. Almost like a real adult and everything.”

“As most women don’t lie to make themselves seem older I have no choice but to believe you.” He surveyed her work. "I officially don't miss Clark. I’ve never had a more enjoyable experience getting myself groomed in my life. I'm assuming you'll let me come back?”

"I'll think about it." She laughed. She sincerely hoped he would.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Inevitable

 

_Two weeks later…_

 

 

Richard thought that the world would be shocked if they knew he had nothing better to do with his Friday night than to be at the market in search of groceries. He considered calling Stevie after a conversation with Lee and Martin while he was in San Diego. While he was not specifically looking for any romantic entanglements with his spunky, attractive hairdresser, friendship with someone as animated and fun as she was would be something worth cultivating. At least that’s what he was attempting to tell himself anyhow. Then as if he had conjured her out of his thoughts, he saw her selecting wine. She'd dressed in a little cotton dress that he was sure had been made from an oversized, black concert t-shirt and a pair of red pumps with a silver cardigan sweater. He wondered if she ever didn’t look like a perfectly cute little rock-n-roll pixie. And though he was trying to avoid his attraction to her, it was apparently impossible as it hit him in waves every time he laid eyes on her.

She turned the corner when she heard the familiar velvety baritone voice. "I know you."

 _Honest to god, he shouldn’t be permitted to speak to women in public places._ A wave of pure feminine longing flowed over her. "Hi!" She beamed a smile at him. She was carrying a basket full of a few groceries. "Fancy meeting you at the store."

"Well I went away for a couple of weeks, cupboards are bare. So do you cook a bit?"

"Yes, I love it, mainly because I love to eat I guess. Though cooking for one is a bit pathetic sometimes." He looked perfectly casual in a pair of worn jeans and a blue sweater. _Did he ever not look mouthwateringly perfect?_ "Do you live around here? I promise I’m not a stalker in spite of the fact that I seem to be running into you a lot.”

"Indeed I do. I’m not worried." He looked a bit as if he was having a mental battle. "No hot dates tonight then?"

"Men are fuckers, so not so much." She blushed over the bluntness of her statement. When his eyes widened, she hastily added, "Present company excluded of course." She gestured towards him.

He laughed. "Naturally. Though I'm sure I've been called worse.”

She bit her lip and rolled her eyes. "By no one important I imagine. How about you, plans tonight?

"Yes, massive important ones, which is why I'm shopping alone on a Friday evening. I was thinking to go home and burn something for dinner." He ruffled his hair.

"Sounds delicious."

"Oh, it is. I could give you the recipe." Humor danced in his eyes, making him look like a boy rather than the serious actor she knew he was.

She had to grab her middle she was laughing so hard. "Oh my god you're too much!" Her heart pounded loudly now, working up the nerve to invite Richard OMFG Armitage to her place for dinner. _Now or never cupcake, GO FOR IT!_ The little voice in her head roared at her. Trying to sound as casual as possible, she heard herself say, "Don’t take this the wrong way but you know you're welcome just to join me. I wasn't planning on anything special or exciting. Just some bad singing to my cat while pretending I won't drink this entire bottle of wine on my own because I have no life."

While he didn't think she was inherently shy, there seemed to be a little bit of self-consciousness about her while she was with him. Knowing that, he was a little surprised at her invitation. It left him wondering if his professional image would be a hurdle in their fledgling friendship. He had been contemplating trying to figure out how to invite her to dinner without it seeming like a come on. While he knew full well, he had to stop himself twice during their last meeting from asking her out, he insisted it was because he wanted to be friends with her and nothing more. Also, he knew that he needed to be careful with someone such as Stevie, who may be attracted to an image more that the reality of him. He placed his groceries back and grabbed another bottle of wine, "Well if you're going to pretend not to drink all of that alone we'll need another for me to pretend something similar. I'll get dessert."

 

 

 

 

She let him into her cute little loft that had been renovated from an old warehouse. There was a wall of floor to ceiling windows in the main room. The original brick was exposed. The kitchen was all stainless steel and black granite. "This place is fantastic. And we’re practically neighbors.”

"Oh really? Thanks! I'm proud of it myself.” _Okay, Stevie, now that the man of your dreams is literally standing in your loft, what are you going to do?_

His gaze was wandering the room, taking it all in. This place was like her, an attractive mix of eclectic taste, and sophistication. It was clean, orderly, but the décor was a beautiful mix between up-cycled, curious pieces paired with some very clean, modern furnishings. The more he learned about this woman, the more he was fascinated by her and the further his guard crumbled.

 

“Richard?” She spoke breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Yes?”

She pulled the bottles of wine out. “I have a critically important job for you.” She said while holding up the wine screw.

He moved closer and took it. The brush of his fingers against hers sent shockwaves through her body. “Of course.” He’d felt it too but merely smiled as he set to work, noting her selection was a good one. “You have good taste in wine.” _Following her home might have been a dangerous idea if I'd wanted to avoid entanglements._

“I grew up in wine country, well American wine country anyhow.” She shrugged her sweater off and hung it as well as depositing her shoes by the door before returning to the kitchen, washing her hands thoroughly.

He was intrigued; he wasn’t certain how much she knew about him. But she seemed much more relaxed in his presence. He watched as her deft little hands diced tomatoes, shallots, basil and mixed it with lemon juice, olive oil, and other seasonings into a bowl to set up. “You’re a native Californian?”

“More or less.” She took a sip of her wine. “Truthfully, I’m not an American citizen though I moved here when I was about 3 and may as well be one. I was born in Leicester.” Her large brown eyes met his very stunned blue eyes.

“England?”

“You know of others?” She gave him a cheeky wink, “Oh I’m shamelessly too American for my grandparents, don’t get me wrong. My father was a professor at Berkeley before he retired and moved back home.” She drizzled olive oil on the bread she had sliced and placed it in the oven to toast.

She worked with ease in the kitchen. Taking a sniff at the bruschetta mixture, he smiled, as he was already hungry. There was something fairly intimate about having her standing there in her bare feet, cooking him a meal. _Who the hell am I kidding?_ “That’s where I’m from or there about anyhow. Though you may already know that,” he said with a smile. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”

She smiled quickly at the question, “Twin older brothers, they’re right about your age. Yes, I was a surprise baby.”

“And utterly spoiled?” He teased as she nodded agreement to that. As he felt something bump his leg, he startled for a moment looking down. A cat was circling his feet. “Oh hello there! I forgot you mentioned a cat.”

“Are you allergic? I can put him away if need be.”

The fuzzy, dark gray cat was rubbing his leg and eyeing him expectantly. He didn’t love cats, but he was compelled to reach down for this one. “No, fortunately not.” The fuzzy cat curled right into him and started purring. “What a friendly fellow you are.” He smiled.

“You’ll be covered in fur in no time.”

“Generally speaking, I'm not much of a cat person, partially because they’re typically aloof creatures. But not this little guy.” He was enraptured by her cat much as he was by its owner regardless of his original intent. “What’s his name?”

 

 

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2ekk7zl)  

“Beorn.” When Richard’s looked surprised and amused as he turned his blue-eyed gaze on her, she nodded. “Yes, THAT one. The Legolas costume wasn’t JUST for your benefit. I stumbled upon you because of the movie.” She winked while piling the bruschetta onto the toasted bread and setting them on a platter.

Richard put the cat down and came around the island now. He was close enough for her to smell his aftershave. She smelled of vanilla. He hesitantly asked, “That looks gorgeous, do you mind if I…”

“Please help yourself, that’s what it’s for to hold us over until the rest is done.”

She felt strange watching the man eat as he bit into it. His eyelids fell half-mast as an appreciative moan escaped him. She was going to need a cold shower if she continued to watch. She set to work brushing lemon and oil on chicken breasts and popped them into the oven to bake.

“Good lord, Stevie, this is fantastic. You cook, you do hair, you sew, is there anything you can’t do?”

She stood there blushing as she gathered her hair up on top of her head to get it out of the way. “I’m glad you like it. It’s nice to cook for someone else. That’s the only thing I miss about my ex.” She said as he topped off her wine, pouring himself another glass.

“Boyfriend?”

“Ex-husband. I was young and foolish and totally in love.” Her eyes dimmed. “Don’t worry, two years divorced, I don’t dwell there anymore.” She gave Richard a little bow before slicing more tomatoes. “How about you?”

“I’m 42 and have never been married. All I need to do is live with my mother, and I’d be a complete non-catch.” He laughed derisively. “I did live with someone.” He wandered the room a bit looking at her bookshelf. Her collection was impressive and varied. “But my career had come first and so that bollocksed the relationship. We’re still friends. We dated off and on for a while, and we only argue when we try to go beyond friendship.”

“I'm friends with one of my exes. We broke up when he told me he was gay.”

Richard chuckled as he spied a framed trio of photos on her shelf next to her Tolkien collection. “That might be a deal breaker, yes.”

“He’s still my best friend in the world. And my support after my divorce.” She saw that he’d spied the photos from her meeting Richard at Comic Con. She watched him pick them up with a smile. “He’s the one that took those pictures.”

“These are great.” He said as he looked. The first one showed the moment she looked at him, and they spoke. The second one was with his arm around her, for which he had a duplicate. The third one was of their hug. That shy little brush of her lips on his cheek was one of the most moving kisses anyone had ever given him. He wondered if she understood how much it had affected him, though he would guess not. After all, she didn’t think he’d have remembered her. The fact of the matter was that he’d thought about her over the past year. He replaced the photo and moved to the kitchen. She pulled the chicken out of the oven and placed a tomato slice, an avocado slice, and a Monterey jack cheese slice onto each piece before returning it to the oven.

“I appreciate you inviting me over, by the way.” He finally said after a moment of comfortable silence between them. He felt that familiar tug of attraction between them and gave it one final attempt to push it aside.

“I don’t have a lot of friends here yet. I appreciate you coming over.” She beamed a smile up at him before turning to grab some of the bruschetta to eat.

Dinner went on companionably. He raved about her cooking, and she was on cloud nine that she seemed to have legitimately found a friend in this lovely man. She started to clean up the dishes when he put his hand over hers to stop her.

“No no, you cooked; I’ll do the clearing up. Please, let me.”

Richard was doing dishes in her apartment. _How was this even my life?_ She turned around to look down at her wine glass with a small smile on her lips.

When he turned around, wiping his hands on the dish towel, he wondered what she was thinking just then with the bemused expression on her face and her posture holding no tension at the moment. With her hair swept out of the way, he back of her neck was exposed now that her hair was up revealing two curious balls of metal set into her skin. Below it was a tattoo of the Tolkien quote, “Not all who wander are lost.” He finally said, “Would you be offended if I asked you if there's a name for what's on your neck?” He leaned closer to get a closer look and his breath tickled her skin. The urge to press his lips slightly above there struck him suddenly.

 

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=ax04nt)

Her eyes lit with humor as she looked back over her shoulder. "I'm not someone who does noticeable things to my appearance and expects that people won't wonder about it. That’s a surface piercing though I don't know if the location of that one has a fancy name.” His face was closer to hers than she’d anticipated when she turned her head to the point where her mouth had been dangerously close to connecting with his. _Whoops!_ Hastily she turned back to her wine glass to take a drink. _Way to make him think you invited him back here to throw yourself at him, Stevie._

He had noticed and had nearly taken full advantage of the opportunity. But because she'd become tense, and he didn't want to seem pushy he didn't act upon his impulse. “Through your skin like that? Can I touch it?” It sounded painful to him.

Put at ease again, she giggled. “You can ask me to do anything with that voice. After all you made the phone book list,” she added sassily.

He probed the piercing deciding it was odd but on her, it was fitting. _And a convenient excuse to touch her, right?_ He decided he very much liked her flirty side. “What’s the phonebook list?”

She turned back to him. “I don’t know if I could say it out loud now. It was something Adam and I joked about at Comic Con after I’d met you.” She noticed him picking up the wine bottle again.

Topping off her wine glass he said, “Here, let me help you with that. You can’t just say something like that and leave me dangling anyhow. Come on is it that embarrassing?”

“To me it is yes, especially since you’re--" She paused, looking for the right words, "well a friend and real instead of an image to faun over. The more I know you, the more I like and respect you.”

If he hadn’t admired this woman so much already, his fate was sealed with that last statement. He wasn’t sure he was capable of guarding himself against whatever feelings he might have for her and no longer sure, that he wanted to. _I’d be a fool to walk away from this,_ echoed loudly in his mind. He didn’t have a word for the feelings for her, but one word stood out, inevitable. “I have a confession as well. So you tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine.” I _f you’re lonely after an evening such as this, it’s your own damn fault, Richard._

Holding her hands up in front of his eyes she pleaded, “Okay but stop looking at me.” Burning embarrassment welled up inside her.

“I like looking at you.” He teased her as he took the excuse to take her hands into his and rub the backs of them with his thumbs, an action that sent shivers down her spine. “Go on?” His voice felt like a caress, and he was standing so close to her she could feel the heat from his body. It was something she’d dreamed of many times, but the reality was so much more intoxicating.

“Dammit, FINE! Okay, so Adam has a thing for British accents. He has a total crush on my brothers. I grew up with them, so they’re not a novelty to me. I’m the oddball in my family without one.”

Raising his eyebrows at her, he gave her a crooked grin, “and? You’re stalling.”

Raising her chin defensively, she said, “Nuh-uh, it’s pertinent to the story. So I don’t all gooey over an accent at all I mean there has to be more to a man than just that. But there are some British men however that I’d decided that their voice is so unbelievably sexy that they could simply read the phone book and women’s panties would melt off.” She blushed. “And you, your voice is at the top of that list.”

He hadn’t expected that and was thoroughly charmed and delighted by it as much as her response to the confession. “I had no idea you could go that red.” He grinned like a naughty little school boy at her discomfort. “I’d better leave my phone book at home when I visit you at the salon. I mean it would be a total shame about your knickers.”

“God, you totally suck and I hate you!” She giggled and squeezed her eyes shut and tried to jerk her hands-free of his grip for a moment.

“No, you don’t. Well, this development might make my confession easier then.” Or not as he watched her fix her large, brown eyes on his. Now it was his turn to be self-conscious as she stopped struggling to get away, and she’d worried her pouty lips. He was suddenly struck by his intense need for her. For a moment, he pushed it away with a naughty thought as mischief sparkled in his eyes. “Any particular tone of my voice?”

She gasped, “No, just your voice honestly and those damn blue eyes of yours. I’m never like this.”

“Like what?”

“This…Oh no, you’re stalling.” She chided.

Here it goes, so much for his original intentions at this point. “Right…it’s about that photo on my phone. Lee made fun of me immediately afterward for not getting your phone number. I didn’t because I thought the bloke you were with was with you…romantically I mean, and I had thought you were much younger than you are. I’m still afraid that I'm ancient compared to you if I’m completely honest with myself. But have you never wondered why I still have it?”

“I had hoped…I try not to read significance in stuff like that.”

Need clenched in his gut like a fist. He needed to man up. She was obviously afraid he wasn’t interested in her, which was so laughably far from the truth at the moment considering his current level of success at convincing himself otherwise. In spite of all of his reservations, he was suddenly impatient to pursue this. At this rate, the dance could go on all night.

“Well, the truth is that I’d thought of you often, more like daily. Your face haunted me. I kept it because I thought it was the only way I’d ever see you again. And yet here you are." His last statement was delivered in a soft voice.

 _How on earth had her life come to this?_ Blinking hard twice to make sure she was indeed awake, he was still there looking down at her with those incredible eyes. Had he just admitted interest in her? Richard Armitage, the man of some pretty lurid fantasies, ate dinner in her apartment complimented her cooking, did her dishes and now just told her he couldn’t get her out of his mind. All in that sexy voice guaranteed to make her panties melt. He was still holding her hands, and the warmth of his touch had spread through her body. Something had changed in the crackling air between them as he was searching her face for some response. It dawned on her that there was a legitimate possibility that the attraction was mutual.  _Holy_ _crap!_ _  
_

If there were ever a time he'd felt more insecure in his life than this, he couldn't remember it at this moment. He genuinely liked her. And it clearly was not just a passing attraction though he’d only just now come to grips with that. _I’m not this impulsive. What is it about her that makes me impatient?_ But he'd managed to shock the words out of her, that much he could tell from her expression, paired with a flame of panic reflected in her eyes. "Please say something?"

His eyes pleaded with her. Perhaps bare honesty was needed in this situation. If she fucked it up by assuming too much from his confession, she prayed their fledgling friendship could survive it. "I like you, Richard. I mean REALLY like you. I was not sure telling you that would be welcome until now. But..."

 _Crap._ "But?" 'But' was quite possibly the worst word in the English Language.

"But it scares the hell out of me."

He let out the breath he had been holding, and a smile bloomed on his face. Releasing one of her hands, leading her over to the sofa he took a seat. With a gentle tug of her hand, she ended up on his lap. They were eye to eye this way, due to her size. He chuckled, "You're so tiny. I can't get over that."

"It's not likely to change either. My brothers are tall, as is my dad. My mum is little like me. Got my boobs from her too." She rolled her eyes.

The little boy was back on his face when he remarked, "I can't say I'm overly disappointed about that particular detail. No offense."

"Better that then pretending you don't notice them at all. That's almost more insulting. I'm not stupid." She stared at her hands in her lap. "What does _this_ mean?" Her heart thudded in her chest; this stuff was powerfully exciting but nerve-wracking.

He watched her lick her bottom lip nervously. She wasn't so difficult to read. But she was extremely guarded about things that were potentially painful. He'd seen a touch of what he'd read in her eyes the very first time he'd met her. She'd shifted the conversation away from her former marriage relatively quickly. But she wasn't hesitant to share bits about her family. Then she was alive and animated.

Brushing a lock of hair from her forehead gently, getting her to look up that way, he tucked it behind her ear. He liked how she'd instinctively leaned into the caress. He doubted she was even aware of it. "What scares you? Is it what I am?"

"You mean the fact that you're famous and adored by women across the globe? A little, it makes me wonder what the hell you're doing with me." She related to him with a comfortable bluntness in her tone. "That's not the entire story.”

"So what else is there?"

"I've only ever had two relationships, serious ones anyhow. One was a success because I'm still in his life. The other...well I'm single now aren't I? I don't just passively like you. I’m also thrilled to call you my friend. You're just so amazing to be around. I don't want to ruin that either."

As he nodded slowly, he said, "Well there are no guarantees, are there?" His sincerity was evident in his eyes. "But, to answer your question...What does it mean?" His fingers ghosted their way up the tattoos on her right arm all the way up to her shoulder and back tenderly. "It means that out of every woman I have ever met in my entire life, you stand out in a way that no one has ever done before. I'm attracted to you and I like you, a lot. I’m finished with trying to convince myself otherwise. I'm not playing around with this. In fact, I might be old-fashioned but I don't like dating other women when I'm dating someone. So however forward of me that might be to ask that of you so soon, it's one of my boundaries. I think that we’d be less likely to have our friendship go up in flames if jealousy and insecurity weren’t part of the mix."

As earnest as he was about his need to establish exclusivity, he also seemed to be worried about her reaction. She felt the same way but had never thought to put it out there right away in her limited experience. "I never thought I'd meet a man who would mirror my feelings that way. And if there was, I certainly hadn't imagined you being the one who did. "

   
He smiled at her sweetness but as the last couple of minutes had been very serious he couldn't help but tease her just a little. "Is that a good thing?"

   
She curled into him, laying her cheek on his shoulder. "It's perfect."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. What do you call it?

Chapter Three        

  

For the next couple of weeks, Stevie was on the rollercoaster of emotions that went along with being in a new relationship. She was, as they said in the movie Bambi, twitter-pated. On one hand, thinking about how Richard had been with her that night was beyond thrilling. On the flip side, she had a difficult time believing that any of it happened.

  
Then there was the added stress of being too busy to see each other but once. And that was at the salon while she cut his hair. It was nice to see him in any capacity. But the need to keep a low profile so that they would have privacy as they navigated their new relationship meant being convincingly neutral towards each other in public.

He was positive only he could tell that Stevie wasn't her usual sunny self. And if they could, they would probably chalk it up to unfamiliarity rather than uncertainty. It was even more frustrating that he couldn't pull her into his arms to reassure her. Instead, he cleared his throat hoping she would look up at him. Having drawn her attention to his reflection, she would be able to see that he was carefully watching her. When their eyes met, the polite expression with a rather neutral smile vanished. What replaced it told her an entirely different story.

Just when she was beginning to believe that she might have imagined their chemistry that night in her apartment, he was making a deliberate attempt to reveal what it was that simmered beneath his quiet restraint. Those intense, dreamy, blue eyes were burning into hers saying "Just wait until I get you alone." _Ohmygosh!_ When a blush heated her cheeks, the devil appeared in his eyes and the hint of a smile returned to his lips.

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=308ulgz)

Immediately after his appointment, his text message came.

  _R_ _—I miss you. My feelings for you haven’t changed._

She grinned down at her phone as she typed back.

_S—How could you tell?_

_R—I was paying attention. I will call later okay?_

_S—Okay. I miss you too by the way._

_R—I know :)_

She was grinning down at her cell phone when Michael came around the corner and caught her. “I think someone has a secret.” Her friend, now boss grinned knowingly before gesturing her to his office where they would have some privacy. He closed the door. “Dish.”

“What makes you think I have a secret?”

“Puh-LEEZ! That man was looking at you as if he wanted to devour you on the spot. Don’t worry, I was paying attention while the rest of the salon wasn’t. And you know I’ll take that information to the grave. So dish.” Michael encouraged her with his wide-eyed stare.

She related the story of the way they’d met up at the market by her loft and the evening that had transpired after that. Saying it out loud and Richard’s reassurance earlier bolstered her confidence again. It was a relief to be able to talk to someone about it.

“How fucking cool is it that Richard Armitage is your…well whatever you call a guy you’re exclusively dating before the boyfriend label gets used.”

“I’m going to enjoy this as long as it lasts; that’s for sure.”

“That man is crazy about you sweetheart. As I said, first born son, Michael? Or it could be Richard Michael, since…”

She gasped and blushed at the thought of it. “Shut the hell up! Straight men don’t like to think about procreation the moment they ask a woman out.” She grimaced while thinking about this conversation playing in her head and looking Richard in the eyes sometime in the future. That wouldn’t send him running for the hills or anything. “Way to make me feel awkward the next time I see him you jerk.” She moved to let herself out of his office.

“My work here is done.” He added, winking at her.

 

 

 

 

 

He had been to LA, Toronto, and London and was due back the next day. In that time had texted her multiple times per day, and at night her time he faithfully called even if it could only be for five minutes. The last night he would be away. Richard's name flashed onto the screen, and she instantly grinned. She didn’t completely trust that he’d to remember to call in spite of his unfailing consistency so far.

"Hi!"

"Hello, ducks." His voice made her shiver every single time. The endearment made her heart dance. "How was your day?"

"Oh! I got some good news today. I have an offer for Details magazine to do hair and make-up for their local shoots. Since I have quite a large male clientele and have had some freelance experience, someone suggested me."

He loved hearing the excitement in her tone. "That's amazing! I'm happy for you. I am doing a shoot for them this month. I wonder if you'll be doing my hair."

"I am. Your name was among those brought up, and I had to pretend I barely knew you."

"It doesn't bother you...does it?"

"No. Only in so much that it’s inconvenient. Though since Michael knows, I at least have someone to talk to about it. But, I'm nowhere near ready to become the most hated woman in the world just yet. I'm all right. I loved how you said, 'I'm far too busy, and it would be totally unfair to someone I was with.' in your interview today."

She did a BBC British accent and dropped the tone of her voice a bit in a way that had delighted him. It also made him wonder if it took more effort to not have it than she let on. "You know it's not so far from the truth. It is unfair to you. I worry that you'll realize that being in a relationship with me is not worth the trouble." His voice had a decidedly self-derisive tone. 

It was her turn to reassure him. "Richard, stop that. Have I done or said anything that has indicated that I'm having regrets?"

It was the first time she'd asserted herself with him and an indication she was fully invested in what was between them. He grinned to himself as he answered. "No."

"You're not the only famous client I've had, just the first I've crossed the professional line with. So I had some idea of what I what I was agreeing to. And I'm busy too, so the scheduling thing isn't just you. My feelings for you haven't changed."

"Thank you." His heart felt light and his feelings for her had definitely changed. They went somewhere deeper.

"No problem. How was your day?”

“Hectic. Though having lunch with my mum was a bonus. She’s worried that I’m lonely, and though I was bursting to say something about you, I resisted the temptation. As you now know, my publicist just worked a photo shoot for Details Magazine into my upcoming schedule. I’ll need a haircut and a full-on shave. Do you happen to know anyone?”

With a giggle she replied, “Nope, sorry, you’re out of luck bub. Speaking of which, did you send Lee to me?”

“No, though I’d meant to. He looks like the missing link. Did you finally cut his hair?” He tried not to worry about what Lee might say to her.

“No, he’s in tomorrow.”

"Speaking of which, I'm flying in tomorrow morning. I know you work, but do you fancy coming over straight away afterward?"

She was thrilled that he wanted to see her as soon as possible. She obviously not quite secure with her place in his life just yet. And she was afraid to ask when that would be. "Yes, I'd like that. I'm done at 6. I don't work the next day either so you can kick me out when you need sleep, I can sleep in if I need to."

She detected a hint of shyness in his voice when he said, "Actually I wanted to discuss that…would you consider bringing an overnight bag?"

Her stomach did a flip. He hadn't done more than kiss her cheek at the end of what had somehow become their first official date. As numerous X-rated possibilities flashed through her mind, she struggled to find something to say that would not reveal that to him.

Noting her silence, and thinking he might have shocked her, he hastily added, "I'm not implying I'm expecting...I mean I do have a guest bedroom. It's just that I’ve just missed you. And I want to be around you as much as I can while I can."

She giggled with a note of embarrassment in there. "I'll bring an overnight bag with me.”

 

 

 

 

 

Sometime around 2 in the afternoon the next day, Richard's phone rang. "Bloody hell." He had only been asleep for two hours. Lee’s name was displayed on the screen. He picked up, "Bugger off."

"Hi, honey I missed you too. I'm outside, let me in."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"Give me a minute," Richard swore under his breath as he put clothes on and opened the door for his friend. "You do realize I'm jet lagged to shit right now and am considering strangling you next time I’m awake enough for it."

"Yeah I know, but I brought food. And I thought you might like to know I met your girlfriend today." He always had an easy grin and a very casual manner about him.

Richard opened his mouth to deny the use of that term.

Holding his hand up, Lee shook his head, "Don't bother correcting me. I get that you're in that weird 'what do I call this' stage. But face it you're exclusively dating her, what else would she be?"

Richard pulled the sandwich out of the wrapper and took a bite. He supposed his friend had a point. But somehow, it felt like it was jumping the gun since he'd not even discussed that with Stevie. Then again, nothing about his relationship with Stevie has gone the way others have in the past. "So you met her? Well, I guess that’s obvious since you look surprisingly well groomed today.”

In protest, Lee ruffled his hands through his hair. "Thank you very much, asshole. Yeah, it was funny because I wasn't trying to, you know, check-up on her for you? But my assistant said that since I had a photo shoot, well you know about that since you’re in it. Anyhow, she set up the appointment totally unaware of Stevie’s association with you. Don’t worry I didn’t give it away. She’s cool, Stevie that is. Sharp too. And I'd bet on there being a little bit of a hell raiser in there. Not what I would have pictured as your type either. That's a good thing by the way.”

Richard answered with a glare as he was chewing, begrudgingly thankful for the food.

Lee took a moment to take a bite of his sandwich, and they chewed for a moment, waiting to empty his mouth before adding. "But...holy damn! I almost didn't recognize her from Comic Con. And you know I thought she was pretty then.” He let out a low whistle, “But she's smokin' hot! How old is she? She can't be 30, which is shocking since I didn’t know you liked ‘em young.” Lee was having fun watching his friend squirm over the mention of a particular woman for a change.

Glaring Richard growled, “You’re a total wanker, you know? She happens to be 33, in fact. Which still makes me old. And I am rather dull comparatively. Excuse me while I suddenly feel inadequate." He didn’t like to be reminded that she was, in fact, younger.

“Stop. I’m just kidding.” Shaking his head his friend responded, "She doesn't seem to think so anyhow. I think she'll stick around if you let her. And if you’re hoping to make little Richard Juniors, having a younger woman is an advantage.”

Embarrassed and a more than a little annoyed, Richard’s eyebrows knit together as his glare deepened. “Christ man! She’s not a brood mare, and I’ve only just started to get to know her. I’m not thinking that far ahead.” _And that might have been a lie._

Lee’s eyes narrowed, making Richard decidedly prickly under the scrutiny of his friend, who often knew him better than he knew himself. “Sure you’re not. You practice that lie in front of the mirror or did you just do that off the cuff?”

 _I’ll be cold and dead before telling you the truth_ …“You’re making me uncomfortable. Please stop.”

Lee rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “In all seriousness, I’m just looking out for you. Don’t logic yourself out of taking happiness at face value.”

He sighed, “I know. And though I'm guilty of being a touch rusty-" He noted the look of disbelief on Lee's face and rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know everyone's aware it has been awhile. But, I would like to think I still know what I’m doing. So can you just let it rest? She’s coming over later, and I need to sleep.”

Lee flashed a grin. “Good. I just need to ask you one more question.”

“What’s that?”

“If it doesn't work out, can I have her number?"

"Bugger off."

“You know what I think?”

“That makes two questions by the way. And no, but I’m sure you’ll enlighten me.” Richard said sardonically.

“You’re one lucky bastard. To have her placed in your path not once but twice in completely unrelated events has to mean something.”

Richard nodded, “That I can’t argue with.”

“Know what else I think?”

“That’s three but go ahead by all means.” Richard shoved his hands in his pockets as Lee opened his door to leave.

“You’re absolutely fucked.” And with that, he left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. The first taste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I hope this is entertaining so far. I hold no delusions of literary greatness. I'm just a romantic with a wild imagination. Thank you for putting up with me.
> 
> I promise it will get a little more juicy soon.

 

 

She called her friend Adam on the way home to pick up the bag she’d packed and to change her clothes. She felt like a terrible friend for not having said anything about Richard sooner. But like always, he understood. Adam’s initial reaction was predictably stunned, then giddy and then concerned. In spite of the extraordinary aspects of her new relationship with Richard, it all came down to the normal questions two people had when entering uncharted territory. It was why she needed to call her friend for advice.

“So…if I wear a sexy bra and panties, does that look like I was making assumptions?” She asked him frowning at herself in the mirror, wearing the unmentionables in question which consisted of a strapless, lacy red bra and a matching pair of boy short cut panties. The combination displayed her ample breasts and nicely rounded bum to their greatest advantage.

“He invited you to spend the night with him. Okay, it is safe to assume his mentioning his guest room was to assure you that he does not want you to feel pressured to have a physical relationship with him before you're ready…i.e. he’s not a pig. But he’s still a man. And I know that you forget this, but you’re gorgeous. I would put money on the idea that he wants you in _his_ bed rather than the guest bed. The part that interests me is the fact that by asking you to bring an overnight bag, he’s not hoping you’ll leave right after and genuinely wants time with you. Guys don’t do that when it's just about sex. So be careful of his feelings because I'm sensing there's something running deeper than simple attraction on his end.”

With so many things to think about, she proceeded to get ready without second guessing herself. She chose her favorite, over-sized Sex Pistols tee which she had altered to slide off one shoulder provocatively, a denim mini-skirt and her favorite pair of ballet flats. Since by some miracle he wanted her, as she was, and being anything else seemed dishonest. Popping her trademark cinnamon gum in her mouth for the walk, she took a deep breath. There was only one way to find the answers to her questions and it was time to quit stalling.

 

 

 

 

Laughably, here was one of those situations where people who only knew his public life would be utterly shocked to behold. He was genuinely nervous about tonight. Their relationship had started with them jumping right in when he was fairly sure that wasn’t the original plan when they ran into each other at the market. Then it was put on hold as he had been on the go for three solid weeks with no break. He didn’t think he would be doing them any favors by attempting to get together when he was tired, stressed and cranky.

However, he was kicking himself for losing the nerve to kiss her properly at the end of that night. When it came right down to it, real world Richard was just a poor sod that was crazy about a woman. A woman who happened to be gorgeous, incredibly sexy, had a magnetic personality though she somehow had no idea. When she walked in the room, every man there noticed her. In truth, he was a little intimidated by her.

He hated being reminded that she wasn’t his usual type if only because he felt incredibly dull by comparison and was afraid that once the initial shine wore off, she’d realize that and move on. In reality, if someone was to tell him he was going to be completely smitten with a young woman with a lip ring, tattoos and black fingernails he would have thought they’d gone mad. However, there was so much more to Stevie than all of that if anyone bothered to get to know her. The knock on the door broke him from his musings.

The door opened, and Richard greeted her with his charmingly crooked grin and dazzling blue eyes. "Hello, ducks.” He helped her ease her bag down next to the door and watched her eyes note that he was not wearing shoes and respectfully set hers next to her bag.

Relieved that he was dressed as casually as she was, her face melted into a mischievous grin. “I’m sorry, who are you again?”

With that, he gathered her into an affectionate hug. “Very funny. I’ve missed you.” As he released her a bit, still holding one of her hands possessively, his gaze took her in admiringly as he was very pleased that his rock ’n’ roll pixie was back with him again. “You’re not wearing stilts tonight. I almost didn’t recognize you until you opened your cheeky mouth there,” he winked. “You look lovely, by the way.”

“Thanks,” she blushed. “So do you.” She added before wrinkling her nose, “Or is it bad to tell men they look lovely?”

Feigning deep thought for a moment as he rubbed his jaw with his free hand, “It’s alright if it’s meant in a manly sort of way.”

“Well naturally.”

“If you’re hungry, I have dinner set to arrive in about half an hour. Sorry, I didn’t cook, but our relationship is far too new for me to take that kind of risk. You mentioned that you liked Indian food, I hope that's alright."

“That's perfect. I'm completely starving." She took a moment to glance around the room. It was clean, masculine, and stylish, but not in a cold way, much like the man who lived there. As her gaze landed once again on sinfully handsome Richard, her breath caught in her throat. His thoughtful gaze was focused on her mouth. There was a glint of something unfamiliar to her in his eyes causing her to lick her bottom lip nervously as her soul cried out, _oh yes, please kiss me…_

He’d been wondering what her mouth tasted like and was determined not to let his shyness get in the way of finding that out this time. He tugged on the hand he was holding, drawing her closer to him as he leaned down. His other hand cupped the side of her face as he gazed at her for a moment. “I had a single regret about our time together in your loft. And it’s been plaguing me for weeks.”

Her confusion was sweet as her far from steady voice said, “Oh? What’s that?”

“That I didn’t do this.” And with that, his firm, experienced mouth connected with her soft, willing one as he felt a little hitch in her breath the moment before. She tasted like cinnamon and smelled like vanilla, which was a powerful combination as she melted into his arms. She was unabashedly responsive to the movement of his lips over hers and fervently matching his desire with her own as he deepened their kiss. _More!_ His mind had cried out before he pulled her body tightly against his, lifting her off the floor slightly and pressing her against the wall behind her. Her resulting moan, as he pressed his hips against hers, was like throwing gasoline onto a fire as white hot desire punched him in the chest.

 

 

Her fantasies could never have prepared her for the reality of being kissed so thoroughly and skillfully by this man. She had wondered many times over the weeks they were apart what their first real kiss would be like. She'd imagined it to be soft, shy and almost gentlemanly. This kiss was so far from that as his sensuous mouth rather impatiently tasted and seduced hers. _Oh yes…just like this!_ With him pushed against her, there was no missing his obvious arousal. Aching for him, she instinctively rocked her hips, rubbing against him in response.

Something akin to a growl escaped him as his hand started roaming until he’d slid it up under her shirt to her breast. His self-control was on the brink of being ignored when he realized he had to stop. He tore his mouth away, breaking the kiss with painful reluctance and dropping his errant hand to his side. With his first glimpse of those large brown eyes glazed over with yearning, his chest swelled with masculine pride. He leaned his head against hers, as the air between them was sizzling with sexual tension and the sound of their heavy breathing.

In spite of his body's throbbing betrayal, he didn't want to end up shagging her on the living room rug like some randy adolescent. The last thing on earth he wanted was for her misinterpret his genuine feelings regarding her as some need for mindless sex. And though he knew she wouldn't have denied him, she deserved so much more than that.

Completely wrecked by what had transpired between them, she was glad he didn't let go just yet since she wasn't confident her knees would hold. She couldn't stifle the thrill that rushed through her at the thought of that and what might have happened if he hadn't stopped. In reality, she would have given him anything he'd wanted and it he knew it. But he chose to wait, and at that thought, her heart did a little dance. There were definitely feelings involved. Her thoughts whispered to her; _I’m in love_.

He finally backed up, needing to put a little space between them to fortify his noble intentions. He was the first to speak, as she seemed perfectly content to look up at him saying nothing. "I had meant to kiss you, not necessarily like that at the time, mind you. But, I admit that I'd chickened out." His self-conscious smile was adorable.

She blinked in surprise. _That’s an unexpected plot twist._ She was supposed to be the insecure one, not him. Not when there were a million women who would gladly take her place. Her eyes warmed as she said, "You never have to wonder if I want to be kissed by you. The answer will always be yes."

As if to test it, he kissed her again. This one was a quick little thing followed by a wicked smile. "Fancy that, you're right.” _Take another step back,_ he chided himself when he felt the tug of temptation. "Food will be here shortly, but I could get you something to drink."

"Something cold so that I might pour it over myself would be welcome.” She said in a shaky breath as she straightened her clothes and regained her footing.

There was that disarming wit back in full force paired with her signature blunt humor. This time it caused him to turn and look at her, as he’d never met a woman who didn’t at least play a little at being demure when it came to sex.

Her big brown eyes met his apparently surprised ones straight on. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

Blinking for a moment, he simply shook his head with that little boy smile and replied, “No. As it happens, you always manage to say things exactly right.”


	5. Make me yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's probably not safe for work.

Chapter Five

 

 

 

Around one in the morning, he was lying wide awake on his sofa with Stevie curled up in his arms where they’d both fallen asleep watching television. Though things had indeed heated up between them earlier, the arrival of food shifted the mood to something less frantic and more comfortable though the sexual tension was still simmering below the surface. Smiling into the darkness, he reflected on his newest discovery that she had flawless table manners. It was another testament to her upbringing that he was confident her proper English parents would not see come to light until she'd gotten over her self-confessed rebellious streak. To look at her, she had the devil in her beautiful eyes and had an outward image that challenged those around her to set aside their preconceived notions to discover who she was. But he was quickly learning what one saw only barely scratched the surface of the truly amazing woman that she was. She might not have looked 'his type,' whatever that meant, but the truth was, she was everything he was missing in his life.

The past few weeks of phone calls and texts had revealed that Stevie’s given name was in fact Stephanie and that her middle name of Alice embarrassed her. He couldn’t see himself calling her by her full name. She equally refused to call him ‘Rich’ rather than Richard as many of his friends had. Unless she was retelling a personal story, she rarely made herself the focal point of a conversation though she would subtly reveal much about who she was in the process. She was sharp, inquisitive and had a natural charisma about her where most of the women he'd been with had seemed to need to draw attention to them by complaining about the smallest things relentlessly. But Stevie was seldom caught whinging about anything. And she was honest, honest about what she thought and who she was. When was the last time he'd met someone like that?

Lee’s parting words echoed in his mind. He understood that he was lucky to have her in his life in the first place. In less crass terms than his friend had put it, he honestly couldn’t imagine his future without Stevie. _No, you can’t have her phone number, you arrogant prick._ His gaze rested on her, sleeping peacefully on his chest, and it filled him with a sense that every moment in his life had led him to this place. He’d always been told that he’d know beyond a doubt precisely when it happened. _I’m in love with her_.

She stirred to life shortly after as if sensing him watching her had disturbed her sleep. Lifting her head, she looked into his face. “Jet lag?”

His voice rumbled. “That…and other things.”

She sat up, shoving her mussed hair from her face, wondering what he meant by that. “Other things? I mean besides the fact that I was probably crushing you to death.”

She could sense his hesitation as he took his time to sit up while apparently thinking carefully before saying anything. Nudging her with his shoulder he finally said, “The sofa is already crowded by my size, you hardly add to that.” There was more, she could feel it hanging in the air. Whatever it was, it didn’t stop him from being affectionate with her as he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to be awake with me. You should go to bed.”

Her gaze shifted to his at those words. Her heart started racing at the implications of her next question. _Grow a pair and just say it!_ “Which bed?”

Her knack for being the most delicate charging rhino in most any awkward conversations was impressive. It was just one of many things he loved about her, but a tremendous one. “You figured out one of those other things pretty quickly.” An ironic smile played across his face.

 _Just one?_ For the moment, she could deal with the devil she knew. Her self-conscious grin appeared, “Well you might as well know, I’m not a virgin. Does that ease your mind?” _In for an inch, in for a mile, right?_

He pressed his hand to his forehead and shook his head while shaking with laughter in utter disbelief that the subject of their having sex for the first time was being approached in this manner. “Stevie, you’re the biggest surprise of my life, and a completely welcome one. I only wish I’d met you sooner.”

She blushed at his compliment. “I’m sure we met when we were supposed to, as our roads led us to this place."

He stood, wincing for a moment from stiffness, and held his hand out to her, with a look in his eyes that could only mean one thing, sending shock-waves through her system. “I suppose you’re right. Come to bed then?"

The massive, king size bed was the main feature of the room. Everything was matching dark cherry wood, muted jewel tones and quite masculine in its elegance. Noting a small pile of discarded clothes on the chair outside his closet, she was inwardly pleased that he wasn't as perfect as she had imagined. Since she finally addressed the elephant in the room regarding whether or not she would sleep with him, she was hoping he'd take the driver's seat a little bit here. As comfortable as she was with her primal yearnings, it had been a very long time, and she had only ever had two partners. What if she did something Richard didn’t like?

He was content to watch her as her eyes roamed around the room and knew the moment she’d spotted his one point of utter laziness, as there was a hint of amusement on her lovely face. In spite of her brevity in the other room, her posture was anything but easy. When she turned to him and met his gaze, she was apparently trying to hide her sudden shyness. He folded her into his arms for a moment before looking down and taking her chin in his hand, rubbing her bottom lip with his thumb, toying with her little ring for a moment. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He was an unusual man, indeed. Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh! How--”

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head he said, "Because I pay attention.” As much as he wanted her, he wanted her to be ready first. With a voice that reflected his concern, he said. “I’m serious. Don’t do this just because you know I want to. I'm not some impatient teenage boy." Then he added with a raffish wink, "anymore, at least.”

Giggling at both his sentiment and honesty, she beamed a smile up at him. “Oh, I want to just as much. I promise I’m a fully consenting adult here. It’s just that--you’re going to have to go first if that's okay?"

There was something truly delightful about the way she’d said that which resulted in his affectionate smile. “Yes, I think I can manage that.” The seductive quality of his voice made her insides churn. Then he gave her a thoughtful look for a moment as he stared down at her lip ring, noting that it did not detract from the pleasure of kissing her. “Not that this is a deal breaker, mind you, but is there more of that what you have on your lip in places on you I haven’t seen? Just the stuffy old man in me would prefer not to be surprised in that way.”

She had giggled before she stepped back to lift the hem of her t-shirt, "Well, now that you mention it," --messing with him a little, she deliberately let her voice trail off. As she exposed her smooth, toned mid-drift a small ring through the top edge of her navel came into view. “Just this one.” Noting the obvious relief in his eyes over that bit of news, a saucy grin lit up her face.

"You're quite the wicked little imp aren't you?" His admonishment was delivered on a dark, mesmerizing rumble that made her knees turn to jelly. She was about to put her top back down when his hands intercepted hers reaching for the narrowest part of her waist, branding her flesh as he touched her. But when his voice took on a more deliberate tone telling her, “I think this needs to come off,” she was all but a boneless puddle at his feet. His eyes followed the movement of her shirt hem as he lifted it. She raised her arms obligingly as it passed over her head, as it landed on his bedroom floor. His smile was one of boyish wonderment. “You’re so unbelievably beautiful, with the most magnificent pair of breasts I’ve ever seen. So, do your knickers happen to match?”

Biting her lip, she coyly nodded. “Mhmm.” Watching Richard swallow slowly, she silently thanked Adam.

His smile grew. “Then be a good girl and take off your skirt and show me?”

“Not yet.” She delighted in the slight eyebrow raise he gave her as she reached for the hem of his shirt, sliding it up one of the most beautiful chests she’d ever seen. “I mean, I showed you mine.” Her height only allowed her to get it up so far.

Evidently she'd meant he just needed to initiate since she seemed entirely comfortable with what they were doing. “Let me help you with that.” He pulled it up over his head, and it landed next to hers. “Better?”

 _Oh my god! How are you even real?_ A sound, something that was a mix of a purr and a giggle bubbled forth.

His look was quizzical, "Something's amusing you?"

"God no." Her eyes were feasting on his chest for a moment before she ventured a look up at him. "I'm just...I just REALLY love my life right now."

He'd never met a woman quite like Stevie, who was inclined to speak her mind when the situation demanded an answer. The way she glanced up through her lashes at him left him with little doubt that she found him attractive and that she wanted him. Being with her was a deeply gratifying experience. “Now off with the skirt and get on my bed.” His eyes darkened with desire as they raked over her when she’d done as he asked. She shivered with anticipation as he removed his jeans and crawled up after her, with his capable hands eagerly exploring her body. “Sexy, beautiful Stevie.” After a bit he realized she was still a bit hesitant and said, “Don’t be shy. I want your hands on me. I’ve wanted that for longer than you know.”

For the next little while, there were hungry, open mouthed kisses and frantically exploring caresses. It was the most amazing thing to be ravished by this man. In her mind's eye, she'd pictured something more polite, for lack of a better word. This total assault on her senses was unlike any other sexual experience in her life. He was vibrating with his barely controlled hunger as he brazenly seduced her. He was sexy, passionate and wasn't shy in the least about letting her know how much he wanted her. And his body, oh God his body was so hard and fit, with skin that felt smooth and smelled of whatever soap he used in the shower as it luxuriously slid against hers. And suddenly his startlingly intense eyes were on hers. “I need to see all of you.” He whispered before backing up to remove his underwear.

As he was standing there, built like a god and gloriously naked, he watched her remove the last of her clothes. So utterly blown away by the entire experience, the air was backing up in her lungs. And then when his gaze shifted, and stopped she realized what he'd found. _Fuck_.

Out of all the tattoos on her body, there was one that was by itself, to the side of her left breast under her arm. Two tiny footprints, like the ones the hospital stamp on a baby’s birth certificate, were pictured there. Written below were, “Cadence Joy” and two dates, about two years ago, a scant three days apart. _Oh god_ \--was what he’d thought when it struck him what it likely meant to her. Fighting heartbreak on her behalf and at a complete loss, he met her gaze again.

Though she loved him even more for what his eyes were saying to her, she didn’t want to lose the moment. “If you want to know, ask me later and I’ll tell you about it. But not now, right now I’m here, and I need you here with me.”

His eyes warmed at her words. Scrambling to her knees, she wound her arms around his neck, leaning up, ever so gently rubbing her lips against his. He held perfectly still, letting her have her fun even though his pulse quickened once again. Slowly the mood was restored as she placed feather light kisses not only on his lips but also on his neck, shoulders and chest. He was in heaven and hell simultaneously, shivering as her mouth explored his body inch by painstaking inch. It was the most delicious torture in the world. His hands grasped fists full of hair the moment he felt her tongue join her lips in her ministrations. He let out a ragged breath. “Stevie! You’re going to be the death of me.”

She backed up. “Maybe I should stop?” Her grin was one of pure evil.

“Oh no you don’t; you horrible tease!” He said with a predatory look in his eyes and a rather feral growl in his voice, as he followed her, pinning her on her back beneath him. It was a heady moment in time as his mouth crashed into hers as he savaged her mouth with one hungry kiss after another. The world evaporated around her as he pressed his throbbing groin against the junction of her thighs. His mouth was leaving a trail of nibbles, tastes and love bites down her neck until it reached her left breast, taking the nipple into his mouth. When she let out a ragged moan, her hands flew to her mouth in their effort to stifle the embarrassing noise. But he noticed and sat up, pulling her hands down. “No, I want to hear you. Don’t be embarrassed love." Catching the doubt reflected in here eyes he implored her further, "do you trust me?" Her answer was wordless but clear as he felt her resistance fade. Her eyes didn't leave his as she drew her fingers sensuously down the front of her from her shoulders to her breasts. She kneaded their fullness before cupping the right one, lifting it expectantly. Obligingly he lowered his head, flicking his tongue across the sensitive point, feeling her body jolt in reaction. 

He was looking up at her as he teased her, nuzzling and licking at her with a feather-light touch until she gasped, pulling his head down with her other hand, "R-Richard, for God sake put your mouth on it!"

With a predatory grin, he obliged her as he latched onto her aching nipple and hungrily sucked at it. With his mouth busy with her breasts, he ran his hand down her belly and between her legs, sliding his hand along the sensitive flesh there, testing her warmth before slipping one finger inside and then two. Dripping wet and practically vibrating with pleasure, she thrust her hips thrust against him in response. Grabbing hands full of bedding, she sobbed out, "I need you so badly.” Her eyes were glazed over with longing.

He couldn’t manage a verbal response. Out of his mind with his own body’s demands, he reached into his nightstand. And somehow, with unsteady hands, he succeeded in putting a condom on before pushing her legs apart and positioning himself at her opening. He’d never wanted this more in his entire life yet he had intended to ease himself into her to allow her to adjust to the feel of him. It seemed that she had other ideas as she eagerly hooked her incredible legs around him so that with one driving thrust their bodies joined. Locking gazes with her, he kissed her lovingly as he held himself still for several heartbeats. It had admittedly been awhile, and she was squeezed tightly around him. It would have been over far too soon if he hadn't waited a little. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to be so rough with you.”

Sex was the only time her ex had always treated her like she was made of glass, like something too fragile to enjoy. Banishing that thought as quickly as it had come, she ran her hands up Richard's back soothingly, then lightly scratching him with her nails as if to prove a point. She nodded, “Shhh, it’s perfect, you’re perfect." Loving him with her eyes, she urged him further, "I won’t break. Don't hold back, please. I need you to make me yours.”

That was all the permission he needed as he started to move, abandoning control and letting his body's urges take over so that thrust after thrust each one was becoming more forceful than the last. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to completely let go and trust what she'd told him. She wouldn't break. But the pleasure, blinding, searing pleasure was surely going to tear him apart at any moment.

She didn’t expect to find her release first; it had never happened before. But it ripped through her with an intensity she’d never known before this mind blowing moment. _Can I die from an orgasm?_

Moments later Richard was experiencing his own climax, “Stevie I…GOD!” He shouted, his composure gone, and dignity shattered as raw pleasure consumed them both.

Then there was nothing but what sounded like hammering of his heart against her chest and her sobbing breaths as he'd collapsed on her. His heaviness thrilled her, knowing that his satisfaction was hers to own. She couldn't stop the swell of emotion that followed.

  
Once he gained some sanity, he propped himself up so that he wasn't crushing her. She was sweaty, her make-up ran, her eyes were glazed over, and she was still quivering. As shattered as he was, he was capable of being properly chuffed over that accomplishment. She wasn’t perfectly arranged, and it was his doing. But when he saw tears he panicked.

"Oh god. Are you ok sweetheart? I didn't hurt you did I?"

Her radiant smile melted his concern. "No, you didn't hurt me. Beautiful things make me cry. How do I explain it? My niece--ex-niece? She would call them big ‘feels.’” Her voice grew quiet. The security of her usual glibness wasn't the answer in this case, and she felt frighteningly exposed. And on top of it, his piercing gaze was searching her face as if looking for something quite specific there. She didn't have the right words yet to explain what her heart was shouting at her. She only knew that there was nothing simple about her feelings for him.

Realizing he was still pinning her down he rolled off of her and scrubbed his face with his hands. The fact that she felt something should have eased the anxiety of the raw emotions he felt. Taking a couple deep cleansing breaths, he sat up and turned to look down at her. “What does it mean?” His eyes were wary.

She didn’t know what to think when he pulled away. She was mentally chastising herself as she looked at his face; she felt compelled to sit up as well. His rather pointed stare wasn’t easing her discomfort.

Put on the spot, she crossed her arms around herself protectively, “I...it’s hard for me to--”

Her closed body language wasn't lost on him, and it upset him. “Telling me how you feel about this and me is harder deal with than what we just did?” He looked a little incredulous. “Then why bother having a relationship at all if sex is easier for you?” he said in clipped tones, his face growing hard and his eyes icing over. _Maybe I misjudged_   _things,_ he thought as he felt a hole grow in the pit of his stomach at the thought. _How could I be so stupid?_

 _Okay, this was going horribly wrong._ She winced at the harshness in the tone of his voice. She raked her fingers through her hair, wanting to pull it out in frustration. Jumping up, she pinned him with her hot gaze. “God Dammit No! That’s not it at all! Quit putting words into my mouth and saying awful things to me I can’t un-hear you say and let me finish.” She was yelling, and if his wounded and angry reaction hadn’t hurt so much, she would have found his look of surprise comical. “It’s just…words about feelings are hard, not the feelings themselves. What just happened was--Well, I can't even think straight at the moment. And for your information, I’ve _never_ in my life,  _not ever_ , had sex with someone I didn’t love first! If you want to believe otherwise, you can just fuck right the hell off!” Her heart stopped, and her breath caught in her throat, she was strangling on a sob that threatened to escape. She refused to cry.

He went still, and his turned from angry to vulnerable as he swallowed. His voice was raw with emotion when he quietly asked, “Including me?”

He noticed that did he? _It was too late to play dumb. He deserved the truth._ Feeling as exposed as he looked at that moment she desperately wished she were wearing clothes at least. “Yes. Especially you."

Two things happened in his head at that revelation. He felt like a complete jackass for jumping down her throat. But he was also sure he’d never forget this moment for as long as he lived as the woman he loved was standing naked, and in a tirade, accidentally admitting that she loved him before telling him in her poetically blunt way to fuck off. His face was serious while his eyes were smiling. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.” With a tug on her wrists, he settled her onto his lap.

Thoroughly annoyed and embarrassed she realized he was playing with her now. “You’re a jerk.” But the hard part was over, and they were back to being somewhere good again. It wasn't easy to stay angry with Richard.

“Those aren’t the three words I was expecting, but I suspect I’ve earned it haven’t I?” He smoothed the hair over her back. “You might as well know that I love you, Stevie. And if I went a little crazy there…I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

“I love you too. I’m sorry my hesitance hurt you. And yes, I’ll forgive you. Besides, I can’t fight with you while we’re both bare-assed naked. I feel completely ridiculous right now."

He couldn’t stop the chuckle over her observation. “It does feel rather foolish, doesn’t it?” He indicated that he was aiming to pull the blankets back so that they could both crawl under them. He was propped up on the pillows, and she was lying against his chest. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world as if they had done this before many times as he lazily drew his hands up and down her back and arms. “This is how it should have been straight away. And I ruined that. Again I am sorry.”

“Richard, we’re okay aren’t we?”

“Yes. Well, I should hope so.”

“Then it no longer matters, okay? Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“You mean I won’t get it tossed in my face at a later date?” His rumbling chuckle made her smile. “You truly are unlike any other woman I’ve known, my mother included.”

“Ach! Maternal guilt is its own entity. Besides, the truth makes for a much better story, I think.”

 


	6. So Unusual

Having spent the past couple of years completely besotted with Richard _Fucking_ Armitage, she’d never considered that to be more than a fantasy. Though it was an awesome one, as it was a place she went in her head when the rest of the world fell apart. Never in a million years did she picture waking up with him curled up around her middle with his head on her chest. It was so unreal that she spent the next few minutes staring down at the man in her arms. At a time in her life where she'd all but given up on finding Mr. Right, it just so happened that _HE_ turned out to be a fairly convincing candidate for that role.

It was like an out of body experience when he'd said, _"You might as well know that I love you."_ But that particular thrill was driven by the fact that he was making it clear that the feeling was mutual after her timely revelation. There was a vast difference between her crush on the image and her love for the man. The reality of him had exceeded her expectations.

Not that she was blind to what it all meant. When it came down to it, she was in a committed relationship with a man that she had no choice but to share him with the world, no matter how much he loved her. By some miracle, despite the numerous options available, here he was. Even after he’d asked about her little girl, and even after she’d gone and cried all over him. It all boiled down to the fact that if he was willing to stick around to see where it took them, so was she.

They had decided to spend the second night together at her loft because she did have to work the following day. Regardless of when she had to go in, she woke at the same time every day if possible. Now that it was time to get up and get coffee, how did a girl extract herself from a sleeping boyfriend coiled around her? She smoothed her hand down the side of his handsome face and whispered, "Richard?"

One of his eyes opened, and he groaned. "No. No Richard here. Call back later."

"I should get up. You can stay here as long as you like of course."

There was another groan as a frown began to form. "Christ woman, don't you have a snooze button?" His hand slid up to cup her breast, and the frown faded.

She giggled. "If I had a snooze button, it wouldn't be there." As he began to toy with her nipple, her breath became unsteady. "And much more of that and you're certainly not getting nine more minutes of sleep."

As he lifted his head, his sleepy grin came into view. He very much looked the part of the naughty boy. "Oh, my hand did that on its own. You see, your fantastic breasts are like hand magnets, and I’m powerless against them."

"Oh well, I hope only polarized to your hands since that could get a bit obnoxious at work."

"I don't fancy sharing them with others. I’m a selfish bastard that way." He nuzzled her other breast, softly kissing the tightening point before looking up at her inquisitively. "How much time do you have?"

She hoped that meant what she thought it did. "I don’t go in until 11, so quite a bit." She’d had more sex in the past 36 hours than she had in the entire last year of her marriage. How was it possible that she was aching for more?

As the answer to that question shifted his body, the muscles of his shoulders and bunched and rolled with the movement. Rigid and ready, he settled himself between her thighs. "Good," he explained with a crooked grin on his face. As he eased himself inside of her, he added, "because I'm not nearly done with you."

"Richard--" His name was drawn out on the moan that escaped her.

  
  
  
He considered hitting his own head against the wall while he was waiting for coffee to brew and her shower to end. The extreme level of carelessness he’d exhibited when he failed to remember to use a condom had caused Stevie to grow visibly pale (something he’d not know was even possible) once the haze of passion had cleared. Not that there was anything they could do about it after the fact except wait it out.  But he understood her concern, recalling the conversation on the afternoon before when he asked her about the tattoo he’d discovered. The mere idea of becoming pregnant terrified her.

She still blamed herself for her lapse in judgment over allowing her cheating bastard of an ex-husband one more tumble through her sheets. Having been there himself, he was not in any position to judge. Coming to her senses, she filed for divorce before discovering she was pregnant. Her ex had tried to demand she have an abortion. Her friend Adam took her in and between the lawyers, her ex, Adam and herself, to list Adam as the legal father of her baby. Knowing all of that made hearing the next part of the story that much harder to hear.

  _“Though unconventional, we were a family. Our daughter would have the love of a mother and a father. I knew that nothing else in my life before that moment mattered. My whole world made sense. We named her Cadence Joy.”_

And just as he’d suspected, she would only be able to hold her daughter for three days. They called the phenomena ‘crib death’ when an infant died for no reason. It seemed like such a cruel thing to anyone, but to have it happen to Stevie made it seem far worse to him. So there was not only the fear of being an unwed mother for a second time, but the fact that she would open herself up to that kind of pain again. He didn’t know if he could, were it him who’d lost a child. And that was the sadness he’d seen in her eyes at Comic Con. She admitted that meeting him that day had been the kick in the arse she’d needed to start moving on with her life.

 She’d vowed to go on birth control as soon as possible and he vowed to put it out of his head when his phone rang and he saw that he had missed an earlier call. _When your publicist calls at 8 in the morning, it’s never with good news._

   
  


She came down to a frowning Richard on the phone, pacing the floor with his iPad open on the counter. To say he didn't look happy was a gross understatement. When she darted a concerned look at him, he pointed to the photo that was on the Yahoo! Entertainment page. Someone had nabbed a picture of them together coming out of a coffee shop from the previous day. Even though Richard's face was unmistakable, from the way she was turned toward him and away from the camera she might have been anyone. But his arm was around her, and his hand rested on her hip. The caption read, "Does Richard like them young and wild?" _Already?_ She sipped at her coffee while she read the short article. They referred to her as his mystery girl. There were a couple of sentences about who Richard was. And then a couple of sentences discussing her tattoos, manner of dress, and how she looked to be younger than he. And then a glib little remark about the total mismatch they made as a couple capped it off.

Being secretly photographed like that felt a little icky. She didn't enjoy the fact that people would use her avant-garde image to have a go at Richard that way. After having read the first comment that implied he was in a sort of midlife crisis, and he was getting something out of his system with her, she was unable to stomach the rest. Suddenly she wasn't so hungry but she set to work on breakfast while he barked at whoever it was on the other end of the phone. She almost felt sorry for whoever it was. It was impossible not to eavesdrop as the force of his voice grew with his level of irritation.

Richard paced the floor, "Yes, I understand it’s a headache, but you're a publicist. Dealing with things like that is your job." His next answer was dripping with impatience. “No, we haven’t been together for very long. What exactly are you insinuating?” Then his frown deepened, and his temper let loose. "You have some bloody nerve, you know that? You can take that idea and shove up your arse.” Pressing his hand to his forehead, he sighed, attempting to regain control of his simmering anger.

He needed to get ahold of himself. Though it had been awhile, it wasn't the first time he'd been the target of the rumor mill. He knew his publicist well enough by now to know how protective he could be at times. However irritating, the intentions were good ones he supposed. He rubbed his hand along his jawline for a moment and his tone became more businesslike after that. “Look, you don’t even know her. And, yes, I understand now that it’s out there we’ll be more closely scrutinized going forward. They’re obviously unaware of her identity, so she's safe from harassment for now. But I also refuse to be held hostage by the photographic rumor mill. And frankly, until she and I are ready to be public about our relationship, your answer is 'no comment.' And if I'm doing interviews, that subject is off limits, and I expect you to make that clear to them straight away. So if there isn't anything else besides my upcoming shoot with Details you need from me, you know my assistant's number. I'm supposed to be relaxing." After another moment, he rolled his eyes, "You're hilarious, and speaking of things that are none of your bloody business..."

He turned back towards Stevie as she placed his breakfast in front of him. He tried to focus on her rather than the other bullshit for now. "Thank you, this looks delicious. I feel like I haven’t eaten for days.” He indulged himself in a long look at her. “You look amazing; I’m going to have a difficult time being away from you." He'd learned that most of her clothes were her creation, usually from thrift store pieces, reworked into something unique and well suited to her. This one was a moss-green sundress with a skirt that flared a bit apparently made from a men's button down shirt. Her little denim bolero jacket topped it off well. Her hair was braided back, exposing her shorter sides, and giving him a clear view of her lovely face.

He loved her unique sense of style and couldn't remember why he had ever thought she was weird. She merely stood out, damn the consequences. That showed a particular strength of character that would make people uneasy because it pointed to the weakness in them. When his publicist had suggested that he break it off with her because people were more comfortable when people fit specific standards, it was all he could do not to fire him on the spot.

In spite of his best efforts to calm down, she could feel the moodiness coming off of him like some toxic cloud. “So--the photo?" her eyes implored him as she made a show of pushing his coffee towards him, like a zoo keeper pushes raw meat towards a wild animal.

"That’s being handled." He was hoping she would accept that and move on. “Thanks for this,” he pulled the mug in front of him and added, “I’m not going to bite you. I promise.”

"How is it being handled?"

"It's not important, love. Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

She set her jaw. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just patronize me with that answer and guess that whoever-it-was suggested you end our relationship. Am I right?"

“Christ, you’re a one woman C.I.A.” He had to know that she'd guess. She wasn't stupid and also knew he wasn't inclined to out and out lie to her. "He did. I told him it was not an option, and I meant it. I don’t understand why he’d suggested it."

As his gaze slipped, she narrowed her eyes at him. "I didn't order a scoop of bullshit with my coffee, Richard. It doesn’t take the C.I.A. to figure out that I don’t exactly strike people as your usual type." At that remark, he looked up, his annoyance practically lit up the room. Stevie unflinchingly met his challenging gaze. "You’re not that naive, and neither am I. Your interest in me doesn’t make sense to them, and they’re wondering when you’ll come to your senses. I can’t imagine this will be the last of it." She pointed over at his iPad. "My presence will change how they look at you. And it would be easier for everyone involved if I were someone more conventional." She set breakfast on the counter and took the stool next to him.

His scowl was fierce as his temper rose to the occasion, "They can think anything they want. Why do you care what they think?"

“Because the last thing on earth I want is to come between you and your career.”

Banging the flat of his hand on the counter in frustration, he bit out, “Dammit, Stevie, you’re not going to hurt my career! Let me worry about my career! The only permission to be with you I give a fuck about is yours, okay?"

She was immediately contrite over having let that stupid little blurb shake her as much as it had. "I'm sorry. It's just my insecurity rearing its ugly head and nothing you've done to make me feel this way. But, I keep wondering if you'll wake up one morning and wonder what the hell you're doing with someone like me."

His temper deflated when he realized she had been severely bothered by it. While her facial expression was passive, the napkin she happened to be holding was taking the brunt of her tension. He took her hands in his, letting the napkin shreds drop to the floor. "Would you believe I wonder the same thing about you?" Her surprise at that was dear. "You heard my answer. The mere thought of letting you go makes me crazy. I love you. The people who matter in my life will understand why, and the rest can sod off.”

 

 

 

 

 

Lee was waiting for him at the restaurant for lunch later that morning. ”Hey, so you are alive. It’s not like you to be late for anything."

Richard rolled his eyes, unable to avoid smiling. "I’m doing a lot of things to surprise people lately. Or so it seems.” He picked up the menu but didn’t look at it. “I've not been here, what's good?"

"Their pie. I already ordered the special for me since you're late, and I’m about to chew my arm off." He flagged down the waitress with a charming smile.

"Okay I can't exist on pie, well I could but I'd get paunchy right quick." He ordered the half sandwich and soup special.

Lee looked incredulous. “Do you even know what you’d just ordered?”

With a distracted wave of his hand he remarked, "I can’t be bothered to make decisions about which sandwich I prefer today."

Suddenly, Lee’s eyebrows rose as something dawned on him. "Hot damn, Rich, you got laid."

Richard's signature glare for his obnoxious friend was in place. "As if it were your business. Some of us have class, you know." Why was everyone suddenly interested in his sex life? He rubbed his jaw with irritation.

"Yeah well, I put the 'ass' in class." Lee leaned back and looked at his friend who seemed unusually relaxed and not as moody. He couldn’t resist the urge to poke at him. "She looks good on you, by the way. So do I get to be your best man?"

Richard's sigh could part a forest. "Is this how lunch is going to be? You taking the piss out of me because I have a girlfriend?"

Shrugging, Lee said, "More or less. Saw the paparazzi photo, she so tiny next to you, it's like beauty and the beast. How does that even work between you two?"

Closing his eyes in resignation he said, "It works just fine, thank you very much. Since you're not going to let up until you know whether or not we shagged."

"I don't know, by the look on your face when you walked in I'd say it was better than just fine. I just wanted to hear you admit it. Did your publicist go nuts?"

"No, we didn't invite him over." A sardonic smile appeared on Richard's face, getting Lee to laugh. "I got a call this morning. He said the usual stuff. I told him I won't break up with her to make his life easier, and I won't even comment on it and the subject is taboo in interviews. The vultures don't have an I.D. on her, so her privacy is intact for the moment. I shudder to think what will happen when they find out."

"I don't think she'll run for the hills if that's what you mean. My first impression of her is that she has a little too much pluck for that."

Richard's eyes warmed, "You're not wrong about that anyhow."

"I'm never wrong."

Raising his eyebrow, he answered his friend. "Well, you are wrong about one thing."

"Oh?"

Richard’s smile was mischievous when he said. "If it were to come to a wedding, I'd ask my brother to be my best man. But you could be the flower girl."

When the waitress returned, she wondered why the men were laughing like madmen.


	7. Her Territory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's not safe for work...for reasons.

 

She had a million things on her mind the morning of the Details/Hobbit photo shoot. With the two of them being incredibly busy, she hadn’t seen Richard in several days. And while this wasn’t new or unexpected, she was bursting to see him. For professional and personal reasons, she would have to contain her enthusiasm. The professional part was obvious. It wouldn’t due to be caught snogging the talent, and they were trying to keep a low profile in general. Richard’s concerned was about preserving her privacy as long as was possible. She would also be meeting several of his friends and colleagues today and didn’t want to appear clingy.

Wanting to look impressive for both reasons, she eyed herself skeptically in her full-length mirror next to her temporary workstation. It was at times like this that she wondered what Richard saw in her. She lacked the sophistication and polish possessed by many people, primarily women, in “the industry.” Visually, she was a bit of a kaleidoscope. Her newest fashion creation included a tuxedo jacket she’d found at a consignment store. She’d redone the sleeves to a ¾ length and recut the entire thing to fit her curvy body. Under it, she had a deep purple and black lace, semi-sheer cami. Paired with her favorite dark wash jeans and knee-high black, suede boots she felt that the ensemble was flattering and edgy with a hint of sexiness tossed in. It was appropriate and professional enough for her industry anyhow. _Quit second-guessing yourself, Stevie. Since when did you start worrying about what other people thought of your personal sense of style?_

The answer to that question had just walked through the door wearing a hooded sweatshirt and faded jeans and still managed to look urbane and cool in the process. As that familiar shocking jolt disturbed her resolve Jack, the shoot manager, approached. His news wasn’t good given the fact that the wardrobe manager was AWOL, and she’d been drafted to the job as she’d had more experience than the assistants.  _And here’s me without something hard to hit my head against right now._  She needed the extra stress like a hole in her head. On the bright side, it would serve as a fantastic distraction from her burning desire to jump on Richard right then and there.  

Richard, Lee and Martin arrived together after having had a companionable and relaxing breakfast.

Surprisingly, Lee hadn’t needled him about Stevie once. Martin, who was not one to pry, admitted that he was eager actually to meet her but had left it at that. When he finally was able to lay eyes on her after six days away (yes he'd counted), it was uncharacteristically difficult to contain his enthusiasm. This business of being in love was more poignantly painful than he’d remembered it to be. He wanted to drag her by that long fall of silken, dark hair to some secluded corner to show her exactly how sexy he thought she looked today. Instead, he relied upon his common sense to file that away under ill-conceived ideas.

“I assume the woman you’re currently undressing with your eyes is Stevie?” Martin leaned over to Richard and softly said, “She a little thing isn't she? She makes even me feel tall. Rock-n-Roll pixie is a remarkably accurate description. Though right now a very pissed off one from the looks of that withering glare she has for that bloke who just spoke to her."

The verbal respite in his friends’ fascination with his falling all over himself for this tiny little woman had to end sometime. Instead of looking at her, Richard switched his focus to what had transpired between her and the other man with her. One thing was becoming irritatingly apparent was her effect on most men when they were around her. Everyone seemed to like to put their hands on her in some way if they could get a chance and if they couldn’t they’d stand as close to her as possible. It wasn’t entirely about her looks. She had an inherently magnetic personality that drew people to her. She seemed completely oblivious to it all. He wasn’t used to dealing with that little stab of something he felt at those times. _Call it what it is, Richard. You are jealous._

He had watched her pause when she was told that she’d not only be expected to do her usual job but the job of another. When she turned away from Jack, Richard expected to see fire shooting out of her eyes. Instead, her expression was one of controlled annoyance as she said, "When we’re done, Jack, remind me to strangle you in my dreams tonight.”

All three men caught that and had to bite down on their amusement. Martin once again leaned towards Richard and said, "I like her already."

Jack replied, "Stevie my dear, I knew you dreamed about me."

Her eyes met Richard's wary ones as she tossed over her shoulder, "Only in my nightmares. Go fuck yourself, Jack." She winked at Richard as his eyebrows rose. 

"Oh baby, I bet you say that to all the guys." Jack laughed, "You know you'll forgive me when you see who's shooting this." He added.

"I hope so; otherwise I might be inclined to shoot you instead." She grumbled dryly. Then as if she’d flipped a switch she turned to Richard's friend Martin, changing tracks in her head, she was looking a bit sheepish now. "Sorry about that. I'm Stevie." She offered him her hand and a vibrant smile.

Martin shook it. "No apologies necessary, I'm British and in theatre, I've heard much worse, believe me. I’m sure Richard would back me up on that." His smile was genuine when he then said, "I've heard a lot about you, and it’s a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh...well the pleasure's mine." She was suddenly embarrassed, she turned her attention elsewhere. "Hello, Lee."

"Stevie." He gave her a nod and a wink. "I hope you don't expect me to behave today."

"The thought never even crossed my mind." She smiled a bit as she looked down at her clipboard, Orlando Bloom, and Benedict Cumberbatch were both set to arrive a little late due to a late flight. "We're just waiting on two more."

Remembering that he had an update for her, Richard spoke up. "Oh, that's right, Ben and Orly texted me that they'd just bagged a cab and are on their way just now." That drew her attention to his expressive gaze, which she'd been avoiding out of self-preservation. "Are you alright?" He asked in a devastatingly gentle voice.  _Oh my god stop being so irresistible._

Knowing that everyone in their immediate radius knew about the two of them she allowed herself the luxury of a long look at him, loving him with her large brown eyes for a moment. Her voice was soft, but the emotion in it was palpable. "I am now." 

“Oh, will you quit making eyes with the movie star and help me with this camera equipment.” The spell was broken by a familiar voice that came from behind her. Her eyes widened as she spun around to see Adam standing there. She screamed and ran, leaping into his arms, crying and laughing simultaneously.

Richard recognized her stunningly handsome friend right away and smiled. He'd gotten the information on the last minute photographer change but had kept quiet, as everyone involved seemed to want to surprise Stevie. It was clear that those who surrounded her were anxious to please her whenever possible.

Martin leaned over to Richard once again and stated dryly, “Ah...well then, I see she doesn’t have affection issues like some of the girls you seem to attract, which is good. Though I don’t know if I’d like Amanda snogging other men in front of me like that.”

At that point, Ben and Orly joined the trio. After taking in the scene, Ben gave Richard an affectionate cuff on the shoulder, "I see some people are already getting acquainted? Americans are so charmingly friendly. I see why you like her, mate.”

“If I didn’t know who he was, I’d take exception to this level of affection I think.” Richard watched the pair excitedly speak to each other. Her joy was his at the moment as he knew she missed her friends back in L.A.

“Who is he? A close friend?” Martin still looked perplexed at Richard's casual acceptance of this situation.

“I’d say so. He’s her ex-boyfriend.”

Martin looked thoroughly confused as Richard’s expression was mild and gave nothing away. Lee was enjoying it all thoroughly.

Having worked with Stevie and Adam, Orly helped Martin out and whispered, “Adam’s gay. I mean he’d have to be to break up with someone like Stevie. She’s a tough nut to crack anyhow. Asked her out twice and she wasn’t havin’ any of it. I wonder if I could get her to change her mind...”

Richard turned to him, “Depends on whether or not you fancy me breaking your neck for trying.”

Orly’s looked momentarily stunned, "Wait...you and Stevie? Seriously? I thought Ben was taking the piss.”

Richard’s eyes narrowed. “If you tell me she’s not my usual type so help me I’ll--” He was interrupted by Stevie approaching with the wardrobe assistants.

 

 

At the end of the day, they were relaxing back at Ben's hotel suite. The plan was to order dinner from the restaurant the moment Stevie and Adam arrived. “Richard, your girlfriend, is tiny, but quite the force to be reckoned with.” Ben leaned over and clapped Richard on the shoulder. “Very serious about whatever job of work she's doing at the moment and gets it done in the best way possible. I’ve never met someone better suited to you in my life. Though I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you two lock horns." That statement earned some chuckles around the room.

Richard’s laugh joined them, "Hasn't happened yet, not really anyhow. She's not easily cowed by my bluster so far and calls bullshit as she sees it."

"Good, takes a strong woman to put up with like likes of your particular brand and your penchant for broodiness on top of that I bet." Martin had his arm around his partner Amanda, relaxing on the sofa, filling her in on how the day had gone. "You'd like her, she has quite the way with words and doesn't blow smoke up anyone's arse just to make them feel better. After the third set of test shots hadn’t come out the way she wanted, she was pretty brassed off. She turned to Jack and the guy in charge of lighting and laid into them saying, ‘They look like they get no sleep...ever. Either stop lighting them from above or send them home for a nap. Either way I’m getting shit-faced tonight.'"

Amanda’s eyes widened, “She didn’t! That’s amazing."

Richard shook his head, laughing at the memory. "Oh and when Jack had said that was what concealer was for, she about parted his hair by shouting 'I'm a professional makeup artist, not a Mary Kay saleslady. Any more concealer and they'll all look like a drag show line up. Fix the fucking lighting, or take my name off the shoot credits.’ And then everyone sprang into action immediately. Though the rest of us needed to stop laughing first." After the laughter in the room died down a small smile formed on his face. "Do you know, she was worried none of you would like her.”

Lee snorted, “Does anyone dislike her? Is that even possible?” He watched his friend’s eyes cut to the door again. “You know it takes longer if you keep doing that 'burning holes in the door' thing."

Richard looked a bit chagrined over the fact that it was obvious he anxious to see her. There was a short time he was able to speak freely with her while she'd done his make up. "We've both been busy. I'm not used to any of this, frankly. I'm hoping our schedules don't conflict so much forever."

"Why not move in together?" Orly chimed in enthusiastically. 

Richard looked incredulous, "After dating her for two months? Are you mad?"

"Why not, it's what I'd do." He grinned broadly. "Some things are best done without thinking too hard about it." 

Lee snorted and shook his head, "I don't know that anyone should take relationship advice from you. They move in; you piss them off, and they move right out. But you might have a point anyhow." Then he turned towards Richard, "See now that you looked away, there's your girl."

No one had noticed when Ben had gotten up to get the door until he reappeared with Stevie and Adam. As he took her jacket from her, the ensemble she’d been wearing wet from stylishly professional to something provocative as her ivory skin and the expanse of tattoos were revealed. That familiar warmth washed over him every time he saw her and the thought that always echoed in his head was,  _mine._  This time, even among his friends, was no different. 

Amanda slugged Richard in the shoulder and whispered, "I thought Martin was exaggerating, but Jesus Christ, she's even prettier than you are, lucky bastard. Bet the two of you, would make some gorgeous babies together." This little commentary of course caused Richard to nearly choke on his drink as he'd taken a sip, which in turn prompted Lee to bark with laughter.

With a sigh of resignation, he said, "I was wondering how long it would be before someone said something." Though he wasn't upset, she was there with him at last. He simply stared at her as introductions took place. Adam and Orly were already talking since they were acquainted before. 

Stevie's eyes darted to his. "Are you alright?" She said, smiling ever so sweetly at him.

"I am now."

"Christ if you two don't stop looking at each other like that, I'm going to need a cold shower and Ben's going to start blushing." Martin rolled his eyes.

That broke the tension as everyone laughed, and Richard pulled her in for possessive but brief kiss. "You said something about getting pissed tonight?"

Lee quipped, "Nah her exact words were shit-faced. She got pissed at Jack earlier."

Blushing she buried her face in Richard's chest, "Yeah well I get a little intense--cat’s out of the bag, run while you still can."

Richard’s voice sounded like a caress when he answered, “Never.”

Ben was holding up different bottles for her, indicating that he was looking for her preference. She stuck her nose into Richard's drink, and after a moment she said, "Whatever Bourbon this is, crack it with ice, please."

"A woman who knows her liquour. Rich, she's a keeper. Should I just hand you the bottle and a straw though?"

She giggled, "No, I need to pace myself. I don't think Richard would appreciate me getting whiskey dick tonight." She looked up at Richard when he put his hand up to his forehead while shaking it in mock dismay. "What?"

The phenomenon that was Stevie's unapologetic blunt sensibility was very difficult to describe to his friends. He was glad he didn't have to wait overly long for her to relax enough for it to manifest itself. Later on, as the party was breaking up Martin was the one actually to comment seriously. "You are aware that she's about the closest to perfect match you'll ever have in your life, right? Amanda likes her, and she's never liked any of your girlfriends. In fact, she told me if you let this one get away she'd punch you in the dick, and I might be inclined to do so as well. I hate to agree with anything Orly says about how to deal with relationships, in fact, I think Hell is about to freeze over. But, if you want more time with her, fuck the rules and move in with her. I'd lay money on the fact that you'll not be happy until you do."

 

 

Richard helped her out of the car in front of her place, pulling his overnight bag with him and slinging an arm about her. "You were impressive today. It's nice that I was able to see you work like that since you've already seen me work."

"Oh, I'm a huge bitch when I work. I know it."

He stopped her for a moment on the stoop, leaning his forehead against hers, as she was a step higher. "No, you're not. You don't demand anything of the others you're not willing to do yourself. And you worked very hard today. Don't slag on yourself like that. At least not around me, alright?"

She nodded, touched by his words. "Okay."

They continued into her loft, and Beorn immediately followed Richard vocally begging for attention.

"It's too bad you're not a cat person. He likes you better than me."

"As a rule I'm not, but I like this one." He heavily sat down on her sofa rather before her cat made himself at home on his lap. He accommodated his lordship by petting him while tossing around Orly's idea in his head, as he had all evening. But when Martin, who was much more sensible, had agreed, he realized his friend was right. The truth was that the idea appealed to him. Though it was a bit soon, there were few things in their relationship that had started in a conventional way. Why would something like this be any different? He had until Tuesday to give his landlord 30 days’ notice. Now it was up to him to bring the subject up.

It wasn't terribly late yet, and she didn't want to waste precious time with Richard by sleeping. He seemed to be somewhere else at the moment. She left him to that while she poured two glasses of wine and handed one to him.

He looked up at her as she unceremoniously sat down on her coffee table across from him. "Should I stamp your passport?"

"Hmm?" He looked confused.

"You're somewhere pretty far away there." She smiled affectionately. "I can't tell if it's a good or bad trip though."

He slid forward so that he could take her hands in his. It was a simple question, why was he afraid to ask?  _Because it could take their relationship somewhere very awkward in short order if it weren't something she wanted just yet._ Her independence was a very nice quality in her, but it made situations like this very difficult for him to feel safe while navigating them.

His hesitation worried her. "Okay, if you're trying to think of a polite way to break up with me--"

The thought surprised him. "Good Lord no! I see too little of you as it is. Nothing like that--just the opposite really. Well--" When he realized he was stammering he took a breath, "I might as well just come right out and say it, though you might think the suggestion is crazy...but what do you think about living together? I mean, that would give us more time together, right? And I want that, I would like to be with you as much as I can be. If you think it's too soon--I don't want to pressure you." He was watching her face, and she was clearly not expecting that particular question from him.

She was watching his face while he'd spoken. He looked a bit like he was going to be sick. "Are you sure that's what you want? And if so...where? My lease won't be up for another nine months." 

His voice was quiet, "Well, my lease is up in a month, to answer your question regarding where. And yes, I’m sure this is what I want." He watched her eyes as they traveled the room, knowing she was trying to picture his things there.

She let out the breath she'd been holding.  Though he’d surprised her, he was obviously quite serious. Her eyes settled on his in a disturbingly direct way as she took a deep breath and with a clear voice said, "Okay."

His eyebrows rose even though he knew he shouldn't be surprised at how quickly she made important decisions. She was inclined to go with her gut reaction, where he was inclined to overthink something. Between the two of them, they might make a single sensible person. His voice conveyed his vulnerability in its timbre. He couldn't quite believe she’d just agreed.  "Just like that?"

She stood up for a moment before gently pushing him against the back of the sofa. Looking down at him with her dark, glittering eyes she straddled his legs before lowering herself to his lap. His hands moved to grab hold of her hips. She reveled in the fact that his desire was written all over his face. Her breasts bounced free as she unclasped her bra and pulled it out from under the airy top, tossing it aside with a flick of her wrist. Her voice was something between a purr and a whisper. "Yes. Just like that." She leaned down to rub her lips against his teasingly as her deft little hands started working his tie off, "I get to go first tonight, is that okay?" Her breath caressed his lips as she gave him another feathery kiss. His fingers contracted a bit. 

His pupils dilated, and his voice was jagged with desire. "I'm all yours." This side of her was a welcome surprise. 

"That's a big selling point of being your girlfriend, you know?" She undid the first button of his shirt, and a curiously wicked grin bloomed across her face. She was weighing the risks of being impulsive as she worried her lip. "How much do you like this shirt?"

He was slightly puzzled when he answered, "It's just a shirt. I like it alright I guess. Wh-" His voice died out when he was about to ask her why when she tore his shirt open with a forceful jerk of her hands. Buttons clattered everywhere. He couldn't remember a time he was more aroused.  _God this is hot…_  

"I'll get you a new one." She purred before pressing hot kisses along the base of his throat and down his neck. His pulse was hammering against her lips. “You taste good.”

Suddenly driven mad with desire for her uncharacteristically aggressive move his hands thrust into her hair, clenching hands full.

She abruptly stilled her movements, looking up at him, pinning him to the spot with the force of her direct gaze. "Hands down, sweetheart. I'm going first, remember?  You won't be sorry."

This experience was torture, beautiful torture. He obediently dropped his hands, and she resumed her path of kisses down his chest. His breathing was shaky while her tongue snaked through chest hair to find his nipples while her hands worked his belt first then his fly.  When she’d effectively freed his throbbing erection from the confines of his jeans, he had to grab the sofa cushions to prevent him from grabbing her instead. "Oh god, Stevie!" He squeezed his eyes shut and took a ragged breath as she backed herself off of his lap so that he could exercise restraint.

“Richard?” He'd opened his eyes again just in time to watch her slide the straps of her top from her shoulders, letting the silken material gradually slip down her breasts. His eyes feasted themselves on them, his stomach muscles contracted as her nipples popped into view. He didn't recognize the sound of his voice begging her for something he couldn't quite name. "Please let me..."

That's when her gaze moved from his face to his lap, and then in the next breath her sumptuous mouth teased the very tip of his cock. When she took all of him into her mouth, the air was forced from his lungs as excruciating pleasure bolted through his body like lightening. The stunning realization that his beloved, kneeling Stevie seemed to lack a gag reflex, and that her lip ring had an unexpected practical use struck him. "Oh fuck I love my life..."

 

 


	8. Assumptions

Richard could think of few better moments in life than ones involving waking up on a lazy Sunday morning with a beautiful woman in his arms. That was short lived as there was a loud pounding on the front door which jolted them both out of their sleepy, snuggly bliss. She was out of bed first, typically quicker to move in the morning. But this time Richard was having none of it as he slid on his own jeans, realizing she'd stolen his shirt with a shake of his head, set to go downstairs. "I know this will go against your independent psyche but indulge me my momentarily masculine need to be protective of the woman I love."

The protective vibe was not one she often encountered with Richard, who had a general attitude of equality between genders as a whole. She couldn't help but smile at him while she relented. 

Richard abandoned the shirt for the moment as the knocking was persistently loud. Looking out through the peephole, there stood an older, taller, ruddier, male version of Stevie.

"Stevie I know you're there, open the bloody door."  _Had to be her brother since how many men with Americanized British accents could there be in Stevie's life_?

Richard unlocked and opened the door, standing eye to eye with one of the twins. Clearly all of the height in Stevie's family was given to the firstborn. As annoyed as he was, Richard's acting ability was handy as he politely said, "Hello, can I help you?" He wouldn't let the angry bloke in until he was certain this was who he thought this was, and even then, he was reluctant. 

His pointed stare was settled on the shirtless man in his sister's apartment. Because he didn't enjoy the reality of what that meant, Colin growled, "I'm looking for Stevie Goodwin. I'm her brother and I take it you're the new boyfriend?" It was an accusation rather than an observation. 

Stevie recognized his voice immediately.  _Fuck_. She grabbed a shirt for Richard and handed it to him before going to her brother and hugging him. "Colin? What are you doing here at this hour? Are mum and dad okay?” 

Indulging himself for a moment, he held on. His voice was less frantic when he answered. “Yes, they're all fine. It’s you that has Campbell and me worried. And what do you mean early. It's half ten in the morning. You're usually up by now on Sunday."

Yawning she gave him a sardonic smirk as she extracted herself from her overprotective brother's embrace to stand beside Richard, who was now more or less dressed. The meaning behind her movement was not lost on Either of the men. Richard was slightly less stressed and Colin was slightly more stressed. Hoping to diffuse the situation a bit she added. "Yeah well I'm late for Church by about a decade or so I'd say? Don’t tell me you’re concerned about my immortal soul suddenly so that you hopped the early morning train from Boston?”

"Oh yeah right, you're the funny one. Allow me to paint you a picture of what the rest of us have been through for a moment, shall we?” Colin glared at both of them. “Well, last week mum and dad are all excited you're seeing some 'Lovely English bloke’ named Richard, it was apparently fairly serious as he’d moved into your loft with you. And while they don't fancy their little girl shacking up, they understand that's how it is with modern girls these days." Colin paced the room with agitation. “Then the next thing I know, Campbell rings me last night because Liz, found a photo in the Mirror of that bloke Richard Armitage from Spooks and The Hobbit with a new girlfriend. And she just so happens to be my little sister though he's too posh to comment about it.  Never mind they’re throwing her under the bus while he does fuck all." Colin paused in his tirade to shoot Richard a withering glare. Then giving a pleading look to Stevie he quickly added, "Christ, the things they're saying about you...Stevie, what's going on?" 

Falling back on propriety for a moment, Stevie took the opportunity to introduce them. “Colin, this is my boyfriend, Richard Armitage. Richard, this is one of my older brothers, Colin Goodwin.” At least she could count on them both to shake hands like proper gentlemen, which they did. 

That didn’t last but for a moment when Colin fixed a cold black stare on Richard and said. “So I see it’s okay to shag my baby sister, but not okay to admit to anyone you’re actually with her like you’re ashamed of her.” 

Stevie watched Richard open and close his mouth in shock as she gasped, “Jesus Bloody Christ Colin!” stepping between the men placing a calming hand on Richard's chest while glaring up at her brother. “Mum taught you better than that. For starters, I’m a grown woman and who I shag is none of your sodding business. Secondly, you don’t even know Richard and what he has or hasn't done." Then she gave Colin a shove backward. "You’ve got a fucking nerve, by the way! I bet I won’t see the next little tart  _you_  bring to Christmas anytime afterward, just like every other year. And if you’re going to judge him based on the likes of a fucking tabloid, you’re no better than the rest who have judged me the same.” If Richard hadn't witnessed her brother actually back up from the force of little Stevie’s tirade and subsequent shove, he wouldn't have believed it. It was curious how much less the American in her choice of words and the cadence of her speech she was when she was around her family compared to any other time, including time spent with him. The air between the siblings was crackling with anger and it was like witnessing a thunderstorm for that moment. He knew from stories that Colin was quite the brawler and that violent tension was evident at the moment. But Colin would never have hit his sister or any woman for that matter. 

As Colin’s temper deflated, Richard relaxed his stance, his anger also was abated. Richard was familiar with sibling rivalry but didn't realize that it's not much different simply because one was a girl. Being the younger one, he could relate to Stevie's position and indigence a little bit. 

Colin scrubbed his face. “God dammit. You’re right. I’m sorry I'm an asshole...It's just you don’t have a history of letting on when something’s really wrong and you need help. So I’m a bit jumpy and protective.” Colin's vulnerability, when it came to his sister, was coming through.

She leaned up and kissed her brother’s face. “I love you. Richard isn't Casey, he doesn't hit me." She explained, knowing that Richard would ask about that detail later. "Richard is really good. He just has a bad case of paparazzi. We keep trying to spray for them, but they’re hard little bastards to get rid of.” 

Colin nodded, taking a moment to collect himself as he observed Richard making a pot of tea. It was a noticeable bit of civility from a man who happened to be handed the blame of what had to be an equally ugly situation for him as well. 

Though he was still chafing a bit, Richard couldn’t actually blame her brother for being protective. It occurred to him that he knew very little of her previous husband. This was the first time he’d heard the man’s name. The very idea that Colin would worry about anyone hitting her, opened up a string of questions in his mind. Biting down on his own anger over that bit of news he understood that whatever might have happened, Stevie was safe right now, and there would be time for questions later. He put the tea things on the counter for everyone. “Thought you could use a cuppa.” He said to directly to Colin.  It was a peace offering. 

Her brother directed his gaze to Stevie’s boyfriend, who just happened to be famous, but for all of his self-proclaimed moodiness, Colin saw only a fairly unflappable gentleman. He could not help but respect him for it. “Thanks. I’m sorry for being such a bastard before.” 

Taking a page from Stevie's about not dwelling on negativity, Richard waved it off. “I understand. Think no more of it." He met her brother's gaze and explained. "I promise you I would like to tell the world my good fortune to have your sister in my life. But we wanted to at least tell our families first before we told the general public. The less the press knows at first, the less they can actually interfere. For now it's just words, as nasty as they are. And yes, before you ask, that means that part will likely get much worse before it gets better. At least until she and I officially make a public appearance. This is the part that has kept me unattached for quite some time. Not many who don't choose my career path can stomach being subjected to the negatives of being famous."

Stevie heard the worried note in his voice. “Stop with that. I’m my own person and I’m looking at it as a learning experience." She patted his hand. "I mean, I had no idea there were so many synonyms for the word ‘whore’ before now. Europeans make it sound almost stylish really.” She tossed over her shoulder as she opened the fridge. “Who’s hungry?” 

Colin coughed nearly spitting out his tea. “Well, you haven’t changed much have you, Stevie? Are you trying to say it doesn’t bother you?” He watched his sister whisk together a series of ingredients she'd tossed in a bowl she was cradling.

She took a turn around the kitchen adding a couple more things to the batter and set the bowl aside before grabbing a cast iron skillet from her rack. “Of course it bothers me. But what exactly am I going to do about it, really when the alternative means to do the unthinkable." She was staring right at her brother when she said. "He makes me happy, Colin. You and the rest of the family need to understand that. I need you with me. You accuse me of not reaching out. Well, here it is then. I choose Richard in spite of all of the bullshit. Now do the same for me." 

Her eyes met Richard’s intense gaze as she slid a broiler pan of bacon into the oven and heated it up. "How did you know?" Richard asked softly.

While she waited for the skillet to heat up for crepes, she slid her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest. He was quickly becoming everything to her. "Because I also pay attention." 

Until this point, none of this had really been discussed since the first time it Had become an issue. And now that people knew who she was and that it was actually her that they were attacking, he was afraid to ask, as he feared the worst was inevitable. To hear her explain it very plainly to Colin, the brother whose opinions she valued the most, was like a soothing balm to all of his self-doubts.

In that instant, Colin saw a real relationship between his little sister and this man, rather than all the complications associated with her being with someone who was clearly coming into the height of his acting career. It was obvious that the man cared very deeply for her. It made him long for the same in a relationship for himself. He would call Campbell tonight and tell him what's what and that needed to be the end of it. And they would pray that their parents didn’t read internet gossip comments. 

 

 

 

Several things were coming up rather quickly. Richard was going to be in London for a week and he wanted Stevie to come along. He had a flat there and he wanted to give her a key for her to acquaint herself with it, as he was insistent on sharing all aspects of his life with her these days. They would see each other's respective parents during that time. While she was sure her mum and dad would love Richard, she was completely nervous about his parents. Though she never said so, he was aware of it anyhow, and in truth, was equally silently anxious about Stevie's parents. 

On top of that, one of the engagements he invited to was the premiere of Ben’s new movie and the party afterward. Ben specifically asked Richard if Stevie could be there. And for his own reasons he wanted her to attend. So she had to re-arrange her clients to get the time off and make sure she had proper attire for the important occasions. Which meant trips to the fabric store and logging some late night hours with her sewing machine. He even had offered to pay for a dress. She told him it wasn't at all about the money.

Richard also had to break in a new assistant along with getting Stevie used to having people like that around having a key to her home. Though he did learn to take care to be aware of when she was home in the process as poor, young Kevin walked in on her naked while trying to pick up Richard’s suits for dry-cleaning. When he and Stevie had Lee over for dinner later that night, they all had a good laugh about it. 

She had spent the week working her ass off to move clients around. On top of that her friend Adam had a gallery opening the night before they were due to leave. She would defy convention and wear her new premiere after-party dress for the gallery opening.

 

He and Lee arrived at the gallery together, planning to meet Stevie. Richard paused as he took a moment to just look at her. She was in the little black strapless dress he knew she'd been working on all week to finish. Lee sighed, "I officially hate you, by the way, for seeing her first. The dress fits that ass perfectly, who is her tailor?" 

Richard was in his naughty little boy mood when he commented back, "It really is nice, isn't it? She made the dress." 

"Hold up, she made that? I forgot she had made her costume for Comic Con too actually. Just wow." 

"Yes and I even offered to give her my credit card to buy herself something and she flatly refused." 

"Okay, who does that? She's like the total opposite of a gold digger. Is there a term for that?" 

"Stevie, since she's the only one?" Richard chuckled. It was ironic that some of the comments made about her online claimed otherwise. If they'd only known, she also was perfectly happy wearing her favored red pumps on more than one occasion. She did have good taste in things she did buy and understood quality but abhorred excess. In light of that, when she did lay out the money for things she took good care of them. She saw no need to buy new shoes needlessly when she owned a perfectly suitable pair of Calvin Klein shoes already.

She was standing in the front entrance in which hung a large black and white print of a man and woman in the throes of passion. He and his friend took places on either side, purposely crowding her to their own amusement as well as hers since Richard spied the turning up of her lips. Lee was the first to speak. "Well...what is this we're looking at?"

Without missing a beat she said in an exaggeratedly informative tone as if explaining to a child, "Well, see, when a man and a woman really like each other...sometimes--" 

Both men completely lost it before she joined them in their giggles. 

Still laughing Lee pulled her roughly to his side and said, "I love that so hard it hurts. How have you been, gorgeous?" 

"I'm alright...well...that is if you don’t count the fact that Richard’s new assistant can’t bring himself to look me in the eye now. And if you don't count the fact that there are people who think I have my own private reenactment of the Battle of Five Armies in my bed in my spare time.”

"Rich did you tell her not to read the comments?" Lee gave her a sympathetic squeeze.

Richard sighed, "Does Stevie strike you as the obedient type?"

She slipped her arm around Richard's waist. "Which also means they can't scare me away either."

Kissing the top of her head Richard said, "Well that's a relief."

"Don't worry, Lee, if anyone were to ask I'd say that you're particularly skilled in your use of that strap on, following your unfortunate accident."

Lee stopped and looked at her nodding, while she winked, "Thanks, I appreciate that."

Richard couldn't keep himself from laughing. "Shall we go in?"

Lee disappeared around the corner, eager to see Adam’s work.

Stevie hesitated. "No."

"No?" Now he was confused.

"Well not yet anyhow. There's something I have to tell you first." She looked uncharacteristically hesitant. 

"What's wrong?" He immediately looked concerned and it nearly killed her to see that. 

Suddenly Lee poked his head around the corner and commented, "Hey Stevie did you know this girl in the photo looks like you only naked?"

She visibly cringed, "That's...what I wanted to tell you." She'd taken hold of his elbow and moved the two of them around the corner.

“How naked?” Richard cut in, clearly unhappy.

She saw Lee mouth the words 'sorry!' 

“Like the kind without any clothing.” She answered, unable to come up with a better one at the moment. 

Richard's initially thunderstruck expression was replaced by a darkening scowl. His voice was low so as not to cause a scene, But, his slowly building anger was clearly heard in its tone when he said, "and you decided just now was the best time for this discussion?" He actually pulled his arm away from her touch, which inflicted far more pain than his anger had. 

Pushing down on her own emotions she forced herself to calmly reply. "I honestly didn't know until this afternoon. And for some reason I didn't want to text message this to you because I thought you would rather talk about it. Am I wrong about that?" 

"How could you claim to be surprised when you obviously would have posed for him?" He clearly thought she was trying to bullshit her way out of something. As he spoke, his eyes had turned to ice. 

Panic and frustration won out as she raised her voice. "Dammit, Richard No. I knew I posed. I didn't know his agent was going to send this particular photo to this particular show. Besides you knew Adam had taken photos of me, I told you that."

Burning with jealousy, his face was mean and cold and through his teeth, he ground out. "I think you left out the part where you’d taken your clothes off and that anyone could purchase said photos for the right price." There were those moments in time when a person knew that they'd just gone past reason and said the vilest thing possible. This was indeed such a moment, one he knew he'd regret for a very long time because in acting on his insecurity he'd deliberately hurt her.

"Says the man who has simulated sex on screen, you bloody fucking hypocrite." This time she was the one to pull away from him physically if only to take a single step back. It would be the first time she'd ever done so and it felt like a chasm had formed. She squared her shoulders  and said, "Well then, If you're done comparing me to a whore, I'm going to go now." 

 _That's exactly what I just did._ It was Richard's turn to panic. This was a disaster and he had no idea how to fix it though he was desperate to try. He tried to reach for her. "Stevie...Please." 

She cringed away from him, taking yet another step back. "No, please don't touch me right now. I...I just need to be away from you for a little while. I'll see you at home. Tell Adam I didn't feel well or something." 

He watched her turn and walk out the door and through the front window he saw tears slide down her face. She hadn't even used those to try to influence him. And that somehow managed to make him feel worse. He felt Lee's approach but had no clue as to what to say, while he rubbed at his jaw in agitation. 

"You need to at least look at the photo before you go after her."

Shaking his head, he said, "I'm not going after her. She left to give herself some time away from me rather than to give herself a dramatic exit. At the very least I owe her that for being..."

"A jealous prick?" Lee supplied and received the expected glare. But as his friend, blowing smoke up his ass was not what he needed. "Hey, someone had to say it. You know she's not going to." 

He sighed after a moment of silence. "I know her well enough to know that. Christ...I've never been a particularly jealous man." 

"It means that this time everything's different. She will forgive you. I bet she'd decided that before she even walked out tonight." 

Richard hoped like hell that Lee was right. 

 

 

She was content to sit in the dark and listen to music while sipping her favorite red wine. She was wearing sweat pants and a tank top and had scrubbed her face clean. She'd cried herself out and now she simply cuddled her cat and waited for Richard to come home. They had only lived together for a couple of weeks and to her, this place was as much his as hers. She tried not to let the unbelievable scene replay in her mind.

He had toured the gallery with Lee, giving her plenty of time to herself. The photo in question was something he hadn't expected. The entire collection had to do with mirrors somewhere in each piece. Hers was called "Shattered." The mirror image of her showed her round and swollen with child. The mirror was shattered by a big punch mark in the center. Pieces of the mirror were on the floor around her, as she sat with her back to it, not pregnant. As what was made to look like blood dripping down her right hand, the implication was that she’d smashed it. The nudity involved was not gratuitous or explicit and added to the rawness of the piece.

This one was about the baby she and Adam had lost. When Lee had asked about it, Richard knew that Lee had not let the image sink in upon first glance. His only answer was, "It's not my story to tell. But most of it is right there in the photograph. And of course, assumed incorrectly since I made it out to be something cheap. I judged her on an assumption when she has to share me with the world and does so without a single complaint." 

Throughout the cab ride home, his words echoed through his mind. By the time, he'd entered their apartment he was ready to get on his knees and beg her for forgiveness. How did someone take something like that back? "Stevie I..." If she rejected his touch for a second time, he didn't know what he'd do. So he came around the sofa, and lay his jacket and tie on the chair next to it. "I'm sorry...That doesn't seem like enough. But you have no idea how I wish I could take it all back." He couldn't stand to look at her as he sat down on the other end at a respectful distance, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and stared down at his hands. 

She stood and moved to close the distance between them. Standing in front of him she said, "Richard, please look at me."  She ran her fingers through his hair before sliding them around his face. When he tilted his chin up, his eyes told her how much he hated himself for what he'd said and it broke her heart to see it. With a soft, earnest voice she said. "I love you...so much. And if you understand me at all, you'll know that it is enough."

Her goodness shamed him. She acted as if it was the simplest thing in the world to her. "Just like that?" But, the answer was clear in her eyes. He had no doubts that she did love him and sincerely forgave him before he'd even apologized. 

"Just like that. Promise me you’ll do the same for yourself. I mean it."

Taking a long breath he nodded and then slid his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "Oh Stevie…I love you so much." And with that, he buried his face against her stomach and cried as she held him there, soothing him with her gentle touch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's just meeting Richard's parents for the first time. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so since I know nothing about his family other than names and I'm making them up (and everyone for the most part is fiction, let's face it) from my imagination, not meant to offend or cause ill opinions of anyone. Just for fun. Also, since this is fiction I'm messing around with real life timelines and adding and subtracting events to suit the plot of this story because I can do that Neener-neener!
> 
> This one is really not so safe for work.

On the flight to London, he was reading a script for a potential London stage project when he suddenly felt her watching him. Immediately suspicious of the wicked glint in her eyes he tilted his head and said, "Why do I feel like you're up to something since you returned from the loo?"  
  
As she smoothed her skirt, her little smile was impish, and her blush made him even more curious as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Because you pay attention?"  
  
"Cute." He warmed at her choice of the words he liked to use. "Okay, out with it."  
  
Her gaze swept the first class area, making certain no one was paying attention to the two of them before she conspiratorially said, "Hold out your hand."  
  
Sincerely wondering what she was up to, he sighed and let go of the script, turning his palm up, spreading his long slender fingers. She giggled and placed a small wad of black silk and lace in his hand. He had stared for a scant moment before it dawned on him precisely what he was holding and curled his fingers around it, with his eyes darting around briefly. He was holding her knickers letting him know that now there was nothing on under her knee length skirt. Instantly aroused, he hid the evidence in an inside jacket pocket before taking a long look at his sexy, enticing little Stevie. "You are a horrible, naughty little tease."  
  
“You know, love, you say that to me a lot.” The glint in her eyes was blatantly suggestive when she brought two of her well-manicured fingers to her nose and subtly sniffed.   
  
"You didn't." Just when he thought he knew all of her tricks, she came up with new ways to keep him in a near-constant state of semi arousal when he was in her presence. Though sometimes, like that moment, she would up the ante. The fire in his belly threatened to consume him as the image of her slipping those fingers between the very folds of her while in the washroom materialized. Vivid flashes of him following her in there, pulling up her skirt and plastering her against the sink while he thrust himself into her played about his mind.   
  
Nodding slowly her voice was breathy as she admitted, "Only a little." She leaned her back against the window seat adjusting the little pillow they gave out so that she was nominally comfortable. "I didn’t…finish. I’m saving that for you, I just wanted to give you something to think about until we landed."  
  
Aching with arousal, feeling frustrated, he glanced at her again while he lifted the script up a little and cut his gaze to his lap so that her eyes would follow. "I don't know how you expect me to think while every drop of blood in my body has vacated my brain." He growled, "What game are you playing, little girl?"  
  
Why did she feel like she was on dangerous ground? A shiver coursed through her as she suddenly wished they were alone so that she could find out, damn the consequences. This was a side of him she'd never seen him when he wasn't in character. She worried her lip as she leaned close to him. "You're not really angry at me are you?" When he turned his head, and his hot gaze met her startled one, she licked her lips nervously. Her heart stuttered when his eyes burned into hers as if challenging her in some way.  _Oh my...what did THAT look mean?_  
  
When she didn't look away but instead squirmed a bit.  _Oh, you like that do you?_ He felt a bit like a predator stalking his prey when he leaned close to her and she unconsciously retreated, just a fraction before catching herself. His relative size compared to hers adding to this unsettling hunger for dominance. He considered it for a moment while he held her there, liking the unfamiliar sensation.  _This could be a very dangerous thing..._  Fleetingly making sure to block anyone’s view of their seating area with his body his voice was as silky as it was menacing. "No, I don't think _angry_ is the correct word for how I feel just now. But consider yourself warned. The very second we're alone at my flat, my cheeky little minx…” He never broke eye contact as he slid his hand up under her skirt, parting her legs and sinking two fingers into the slick wet heat of her. He knew exactly when he’d hit the right spot as he heard her sharp intake of breath. His grin was wolfish when she squirmed again. “…I'm going first...many...many times. And if you can still walk properly within that time...be assured that means I'm not nearly done with you." And as abruptly as he’d penetrated her, he withdrew his hand and returned his focus to his reading or to at least try to. He couldn't stop the naughty boy smile from appearing as he said, "Now  _you_  have something to think about until we land too.” 

_Oh!_ _my…_

 

 

  

The moment they deposited their luggage inside the foyer of his flat, he clicked the lock. As he yanked her to him, their mouths crashed together. Savaging her mouth surrendering to his almost violent need for her finding a place within him that he barely acknowledged its existence. It was darker there, less civilized and until this instance, he didn't dare go with anyone. It felt powerful,  heady to feel her completely yield to his unspoken demands. Pushing the boundaries further he wrenched her little sweater off and grabbed her waist, depositing her on the hall table sending a vase crashing to the floor as her bare bottom touched the cold polished wood. When he had taken hold of the thin ties of her sundress and yanked them down her shoulders, ripping them from the bodice that was now beneath her exposed breasts. He watched her chest rise and fall with shuddering breaths as her nipples tightened to point under his scrutiny.  _Nothing on under this flimsy little dress, for my benefit?_ His eyes searched her face as she wantonly gazed up at him through her lashes. He felt very much like a caged animal, desperate for release. This was new, exciting and scary. He brought his hands to her breasts, pinching the hard little tips. She jerked a bit while her pupils dilated further. "Is this how you want it?" His voice rasped out. He had to know before he abandoned all reason, he'd never been this aggressive with anyone. 

She was trembling, her eyes were wide as they recognized the menacing hunger within his expression, along with quickly unraveling restraint. Knowing and yet not knowing what her consent would fully mean this time, stabs of panic actually added to her clawing need. She wanted him to keep going, to stop thinking. She kept her eyes on his, parting her legs watching his gaze drop and then come back to her face again. The question was still there as he  squeezed her nipples a little harder, sending a lightning bolt of arousal through her. A noise between a moan and a sob escaped her this time. "Yes or no?" It was a demand, not a question.

The decadent pleasure that sharp little pain caused her made her decision for her as her body cried for more,  _Oh_ _God Yes!_ Unable to speak,  she nodded. And he felt his control abandon him with what felt like an audible snap, unleashing the very devil inside him. He slid his hands up her skirt, cupping her ass digging his fingers into her as her as he ground himself against her.  With a feral growl of satisfaction, he claimed her mouth with a ferocity she had not known he possessed. That intensity along with the knowledge that she'd pushed him to this point was electrifying.

As he tore his mouth from hers, he placed open mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck, licking, tasting and sucking the sensitive flesh as her head fell back and to the side. The beast inside him demanded,  _Take_ _her now!_

Just as he had worked his belt open and was going for the zipper of his jeans, she heard the startled gasp from the adjacent room. “Oh dear…” were the exact words delivered in a quiet, accented, female voice.

 _Jesus Christ well there's ONE way to make a first impression. "_ Richard, you need to stop.” She tried to still his hands. “N-no…I mean it, you...we need to stop.” She pushed at his chest with her eyes wide with panic.  _And dear God let this be a dream._

 The panic in her voice and on her face halted him.  _Dammit I've gone too far and scared her_ , “I’m sorry, did I frighten you. You just drive me cra...mph--“

 She literally clamped her hand over his mouth to stop his hasty flow of words and apologies that were completely unnecessary to give her a moment to quickly explain. “No, we aren’t alone. Are those your parents standing right there?" Her eyes pointed into his flat further.

 _What_? He froze, turning his head to see his mother with her hands over her mouth and his father with a cat that swallowed the canary grin on his face while saying, "Surprise!" _This can't be happening,_ he thought as he recalled everything he'd done and everything he'd said, in all too vivid detail, in front of his own mother of all people. 

This was a moment that Richard was sure he'd never forget as long as he lived, and it would be actually funny much, much later after he was well dead and buried. He refastened his belt as his lovely little girlfriend scrambled to right her clothing. Pulling her sweater back on, her panic-stricken eyes found his. Reassuringly he put his arm around her as he took a breath and faced his parents still at a complete loss for words. 

Why did he suddenly feel like he was 17 years old caught with a girl in his room? He simply said, "Hello Mum...Dad...I didn't know you were in town yet...obviously." He was fairly sure there was nothing in ANY etiquette book anywhere explaining the proper way to recover from having nearly shagged the hell out of one's girlfriend in front of one's parents.  _What on earth do I say now?_  He rubbed his face in agitation. "I'm...truly sorry."

After what felt like an eternity of silence, "Actually...we owe you an apology for not respecting your privacy." His mother finally managed, though Richard noticed her voice was abnormally shrill yet and recognized that at least for his mother, the embarrassment was not a one-sided reaction.

"Really it's okay...I'm monumentally embarrassed just now." 

She shook her head vehemently. "Richard, again this isn't your fault. I forgot that you were a grown man and not my little boy when I thought to surprise you. Clearly you're no longer a little boy... I've also come to realize exactly how much like your father you really are." She shot a look at her husband, who was still thoroughly amused by the circumstances. Richard wasn’t sure, but he thought he detected a look of admiration in his dad’s eyes.

Richard blinked, "Oh my god...Mother..."  _Thanks for an image I can't unimagine..._

His mother rolled her eyes. "Seriously, you act like we don't at all understand what it is like to be young and madly in love." Feeling on better footing, she turned to the tiny little slightly ravished-looking woman next to her son who was wringing her hands at the moment. "And I take it this young lady would be Stevie? At least I hope so." 

Stevie's eyes met the stunning woman's blue eyes and there was the similar mischievous sparkle in them she recognized in Richard. Her embarrassment faded at the warmth she saw in them. She was average height, with a smart cap of brown hair streaked charmingly with silver in the front. 

Richard seemed to spring to life then, "Yes! Sorry...Mum, Dad, Stevie Goodwin, my girlfriend."

Stevie offered her hand to his mother first, who took it in both of hers giving it an affectionate squeeze. "Hello, I'm Margaret, and this is John. Yes, just like the Gaskill book." That earned a smile from the startled girl at least. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, dear."

Stevie felt their genuine eagerness to like her. "It's the same for me, really. Though I'd hoped to be...more presentable at least? God what you must think of me..."

Now Margaret's eyes danced with humor when she answered, patting Stevie's hand. "Shhh stop it right now.  We can just blame Richard for that part." 

At that, Richard coughed.  _I've actually died of embarrassment and am currently in Hell, right?_

Then her hands were taken by John's who smiled as he kissed them charmingly. "Well my dear, Richard wasn't exaggerating I see. You're quite sweet and lovely." Richard's dad was tall, though not quite as tall as Richard. He was the very definition of a silver fox, as he was an older copy of Richard himself save for his brown eyes.

Turning to his son and giving him a cuff on the shoulder he said to him under his breath, "I can't say I blame you for your...enthusiasm?"

Richard went red as he groaned, "Christ Dad!" Though he gave Stevie a sidelong glance for her poorly stifled giggle. "Yes, that's right, you'll get along with him famously I think." But Stevie wasn't good at faking being contrite when she wasn't.

"Right then!" John winked at Stevie. "We'll get out of your way and meet you at that pub at the agreed upon time? And we'll leave you two to continue on with your..." He cleared his throat meeting Richard's stare, simultaneously receiving a swat on the arm from his wife. "We'll see you later." 

Once Richard saw his parents to the door, he turned to stare at Stevie in disbelief. "Oh my god. Please tell me I'm dreaming."

"I was more hoping for a large hole to open up and swallow me." She offered a little ray of optimism, "Well it could have been worse right?" 

He groaned, ruffling his hair. "Well yeah considering I was about to take my dick out and bang you in my foyer in the next moment, I'd say so."

That statement made her smile. She was not used to him being quite so blunt about sex. Then again, she wasn't used to most of his behavior since he'd pocketed her underpants. "Yeah, that was fun, hmm?"

He paced the floor rubbing his face for a moment longer. "While it lasted...and here I thought I'd frightened you."

"Why would I be frightened of you?" She looked genuinely puzzled. "I know you wouldn't deliberately hurt me. I also know that you would stop at any time if I asked you to."

"You're sure of that?" 

She could tell he was staggered by her words. She nodded, "Yes. I mean you did, didn't you?" 

His face grew serious. He knew that she meant what she said, she always did. She also didn't use such opportunities as a way to drag some revelation from him. Though he absolutely did trust her, her complete faith in him was staggering. She never asked for him to be anything but candid with her. Even when she needed reassurance, she seemed to deliberately leave that open ended as well. He drew her into his arms, "I honestly don't know what I did to deserve you in my life, but I will spend forever trying to stay so deserving." His honest answer surprised them both for a moment. But he knew he actually meant that.

Even if she thought it was far too early for him to be so sure, she nearly burst with joy over his sentiment. She hugged him for a moment and then said, "Just be you. That's all I ever ask and all I ever need." Then suddenly she was grinning up at him. "Oh and that thing you were doing before we knew we had an audience. I need to know where that was leading since I am pretty sure I can still walk properly." 

"Well, if you insist..." He pulled her off the floor and tossed her over his shoulder, grinning wickedly at her surprised scream before hauling her off to his bedroom. "Sorry, I ruined your dress by the way."

"No, you're not."

 

 

 

Though whatever spell Richard had been under before his parents' effective interruption had not been recreated afterward. Not that Stevie was complaining. For the following two hours, it seemed they couldn't be anywhere on the grand tour of his flat without it ending up in a room christening of a sort. And any room they might have missed before dinner with his family got taken care of that night. It felt like a honeymoon in a lot of respects. He seemed very intent on making her feel at home here as she had for him back in New York. 

Breakfast was quiet and companionable. She was bent over her iPad, sorting out her own schedule for the week as well as the one for her return to New York. He had just finished looking over the script and preparing for his noon meeting with his agent and the director of the play he was auditioning for. He was excited, but it meant he would be in London for several months with very little break. That would be their first big test and he wasn't looking forward to that. But it was high time to discuss that with the pretty little pixie curled up on the dining chair, smiling at something on her screen. "Good news?"

"Hugo Boss actually wants me for a shoot in Chicago. Well, they want Adam and me. I'm considering changing my work hours at the salon to suit some location shoots. Adam implied that there would be more work offered if I'm willing to take it. Some here actually. But coordinating our schedules might be tricky if I do this. Especially if you're doing that." She pointed to the script in front of him. 

He shouldn't be surprised that she'd already considered that he'd be away from New York for an extended period of time. "Well...I haven't gotten the part yet."

Her eyes warmed, she was so proud of him, and his humility was such a big part of who he was. She felt his hesitance, knowing this was a possible relationship-ender if either of them couldn't handle the strain of the work and the separation. The thought of that sliced into her heart a bit. "If you get this part, you need to take it. I'm not some little girl who is so blinded by love that I don't understand the reality and risks to what we have that this poses. I think we'll be okay. If I didn't at least feel that, I would never have agreed to start this."

He could tell that she wasn't speaking to him more than she was speaking her thoughts right then. Her eyes were on her fingers in front of her. "Nor I." He answered, a little bit blown away by her support and understanding. "I want you to consider this place yours as well." Her surprise made him grin. "I mean we live together, right?"

"I guess that's true. But if that's the case, is it okay if I buy some things for the kitchen? It's obvious that you don't spend any time in there."

Happier to be back on positive things he laughed, "I was thinking..." His eyes traveled the room a bit, "It's a bit boring here actually...and if I do get stuck away from New York for that long, I'd like to see your presence here. That is if you don't mind. I don't want you to feel obligated and I'd pay for whatever you decided."

"Well I'm meeting Amanda for lunch, I'm sure she can direct me to the proper places for me to start all that. Are you sure?" Her eyes were dancing with enthusiasm.

"About you doing this, or about paying. I happen to like your stylistic taste better than I like my own. And considering how much you seem to  hate actually spending money, I'm not worried about cost."

 

 

Amanda was crying she was laughing so hard. "Oh my god! What did Richard do? I mean I can barely stand picturing his face at that moment." 

Stevie related the rated PG version of how she'd met Richard's parents, leaving out the TMI parts. "Well at first he apologized and then SHE apologized. Honestly, they realized they might have called. They're clearly not used to Richard having much of a love life."

"I'd bet not, I mean there really hasn't been anyone since Annie anyways. He's not one to whore around like some of them we know and love." Stevie immediately thought of the men she'd met at the photo shoot and figured out quickly who she was referring to. "If he did at all, he's never said, but I don't think so. Have you met her yet?"

Stevie was taking a drink from her PIMM's and shook her head, "Annie? No. I know he's still friends with her, he told me that right away. I don't even know where she lives. I'm a little intimidated by her to be honest."

"She's here in London I think unless she's filming somewhere. Don't be intimidated, I didn't mind her, but I didn't think they'd last. She has no stomach for the spotlight and when Richard's career sort of exploded, she couldn't handle the pressure and the time away. You two are nothing alike, but that's not a bad thing. I mean, she's a bit boring, so they were boring together when he should have been out having fun, right? At least you don't mind being out with him and I think he prefers that. So don't worry about her shadow?"

"I think he worries that what happened to them will happen to us." Stevie watched the people passing them on the sidewalk, enjoying London as she always had. 

"If you want my opinion, it will work out if you both want it badly enough. I don't think she really did. I mean he has to be thinking of a future with you since he wants you to redecorate his entire flat. If that's not what you want with him, it's best, to be honest, by the way."

She looked at Amanda, completely shocked. "The truth is I can't imagine my future without him. Have I given the impression otherwise?"

Amanda smiled soothingly at Stevie. "Not at all. My first impressions of you had come from Martin before I formed my own. Martin's a bit of a curmudgeon, you see, and he liked you with Richard straight away. I was just making sure you were aware that Richard is a serious man has never just jumped into something with anyone before he met you. You have to be someone pretty special to him. You fairly well knocked him on his arse. I mean you bring out the best in him really."

Stevie blushed and looked at the table. "I appreciate you saying that. Sometimes I still can't believe that this is even my life. Oh and please don't...I don't think Richard would appreciate getting shit from Martin about the thing with his parents."

She actually shook her head, "Psht, You don't survive in this business if you have a big mouth. This was just girl talk anyhow, right?" Amanda put money down on the table. "Let go shopping then?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Damn the Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far I hope you're having fun reading. This one takes place more within Richard's head space. The next one will flip that a bit.

Stevie’s stunning capacity to handle jet lag and to function on very little sleep was enviable. Richard thought as he was working out at the gym while Stevie simultaneously ran circles around the room on the indoor track. To his pert, young girlfriend it was simple routine regardless of what time zone she was currently in. Conversely he was 'dragging ass' as she would put it, which drew his attention to the age difference between them. It didn’t take long to figure out how she could eat as she did and still look the way she did. She did a combination of running and yoga as often as she could. Both of them had admitted to slacking a bit when they met in favor of time together. But they'd finally admitted that some parts of what they considered normal life needed to happen, even when in love. With the paparazzi's activity as it had been lately, she’d been photographed on her runs, much to her horror when she'd discovered it. The solution to the hassle was for her to come along with him, and while she hated running inside, she did so without complaint.

Even though he was known for being a deeply private person, he actually enjoyed that they motivated each other to go by going together. It was one of several instances that he had discovered that including someone in a task he'd felt was somewhat personal in actuality felt natural, and even intimate when he did it with Stevie. After she was warmed up, he watched her stop and take a drink. The view was so much better when Stevie was around. And while she thought she looked terrible, he thought she looked radiant. His only complaint was the attention she was presently getting as she zipped off her track suit and revealed her little compression shorts and tank before starting to stretch. 

He heard a familiar voice from one of the regulars coming from behind him say, “Well that’s a welcome sight if I ever saw one.”

_Oh yes Richard, you've dealt with the devil to have her, now deal with the consequences._

“Mother of God, you could bounce a coin off that pretty little arse of hers,” said another he didn’t recognize.

 _Please shut the hell up,_  he thought, getting angry.Richard attempted to channel his temper into his work out.

She bent down and placed her palms on the floor and her head against her knees unknowingly causing a collective groan from the peanut gallery as the first voice said, “Fuckin’ hell and she’s flexible too! That there's my second wife as soon as I can get rid of my first.” It was obvious he was proud of his own joke.

 _And I've heard enough._ Richard’s jaw flexed and he turned to them with a dark frown, “Oi! Keep it in your pants. She’s not a bloody piece of meat.” 

“Aww mate we were just having a bit of fun is all. It's not like she can hear us.” Said voice number two. “What’s it to you anyhow?”

Recognition appeared in the eyes of the owner of voice number one, “Wait, that’s the girl that’s been with you in the Mirror, with all the tattoos. I beg your pardon. We didn’t mean to be sizin’ up your woman. Though I must say, she’s a fine one, you’re one lucky bloke.” 

His eyes followed her around the room. “So I've been reminded," he muttered.

Now that he didn't have that to contend with, he reflected on the evening before when the two of them had dinner at Campbell Goodwin's house. It was a very well kept townhouse. He had thoroughly enjoyed his time with her family as they were much like his own family. Campbell was a Barrister, and he and his wife Liz just had their second child. Stevie was wonderful with the kids and her 5 year old niece, Britta, clearly loved her favorite Auntie Stevie. He couldn’t help but be enraptured by Stevie holding her two month old nephew, Sean. He was so fixated on that image that he had dreamed that night of her tangible bliss in that moment when he witnessed her breathing him in. But then, instead of her nephew it was his baby in her arms. It had been so real that upon waking, it had left him yearning for it to be real. _Well that was new wasn't it?_ He wasn't certain she wanted children and he wasn't sure how much that subject would hurt her if he brought it up. He would leave that for a more appropriate point in their relationship. 

Royce and Catherine Goodwin loved their children, and were a fairly traditional British family in most ways. But it wasn’t difficult to figure out that she actually got her rebellious streak from her father as her mother was soft spoken, and quite orderly but her father had some very progressive attitudes about the world. Stevie was more brazenly defiant, and Royce preferred to fight such battles purely with intellect. Neither father nor daughter was content with the mundane.  

Richard would have been disappointed if he hadn't been approached by the protective father side of Royce eventually. The shrewd gaze he'd seen before from Stevie was present in Royce's brown eyes when it happened. They were alone in the sitting room while the rest were on a tour of the redecorated baby room. “I like you. And by the way you look at my daughter, I know you have more than passing interest in her. But I’ve watched her get hurt, and I don’t fancy having her put through what that pencil necked bastard put her through.” The large man balled his hand into a fist for a moment. While Royce didn't strike Richard as a violent man, when it came to his daughter, he had a feeling he was capable of making an exception. Richard could absolutely relate to him in this regard but felt it wise to leave that unsaid. “But that’s the past and I don't dwell there." Royce rubbed his face to banish the memory.

Now aware of the source, Richard held his smile wondering if her father was aware that Stevie had taken that particular fatherly wisdom with her into adulthood. Royce continued, "I’ve actually taken the time to see some of the things you’ve done professionally since my girl had said you two were together. I'm certain I'm not the target audience for some of it." His honesty was welcome and refreshing to Richard who was used to the opposite when face to face these days. "But there were a couple of things that I thoroughly enjoyed. After all, Stephanie's Tolkien collection was given to her by me. But as it is you’re quite the new phenomenon aren’t you?” Royce sighed for a moment before saying, “I know Campbell and Colin have tried to protect Stephanie’s mother and me from seeing the rubbish that the tabloids have been inferring about our baby girl. And not being as hot tempered as Colin I am aware that is largely out of your control. I’d be lying if I said I was all right with that bit. I guess as a father, I would love to be able to protect my daughter from the darker parts of humanity, especially for the love of a man. But I guess for the right man in her life, I would be inclined to overlook it." His gaze never wavered when Royce plainly said, "Are you, Richard, such a man?"

Richard had swirled the caramel colored liquid in the glass in front of him and smiled inwardly. He'd never been so politely, though directly scrutinized before. "I would not have put her through as much as I have already if…well…may I be blunt?” 

Royce’s mouth turned up at that point, humor dancing in his eyes. “I’ve lived with she who prefers to be called 'Stevie' longer than you have. You’ll not have to worry about shocking me with your candid truths." 

Richard joined him in his smile, "Well I doubt I can measure up to her creative delivery." Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees he looked Royce straight in the eye and said, "I love her. I’ve had few serious relationships largely due to the fact that they're disappointed to discover that I'm not actually John Thornton. None who'd gotten further have manage to stomach the separation, and the lack of privacy because of what I do. I've even been asked to just give it up when it suited them, regardless of the fact that I'm very serious about my career."

"And my Stephanie hasn't."

It wasn't a question from Royce but Richard felt inclined to affirm him, "No, she hasn't." The statement filled him equal amounts of hope and dread for what was likely to lie ahead of them. "The next several months won't be easy for either of us. It will test Stevie's tolerance for the baggage that comes with me to its limits I'd imagine. But everything I've ever wanted in my life that I couldn't bring to it myself is in your daughter's hands, if she'll have mine. With your blessing I hope.” 

 _Implying that if I don't give my blessing, you'd do it anyways...clever man._ “Call me Royce, please. My Stephanie is a girl who doesn’t let much get in the way of what she wants, even when the world is shouting warnings or the universe is set against her in general. And I’m not just talking about Casey.” He spat the rarely mentioned name of her ex-husband out like an obscenity. “She loved Adam too, and has still found a way to love him as much as she ever did, even though…well, that relationship needed to change in order to be honest right? But she won't ever stop loving him as her closest friend. So you might have noticed that once she's set her mind to something, she'll shove her way through, damn the consequences" 

Richard threw his head back and laughed. “Oh my god, she demonstrates that with bubbling enthusiasm fairly regularly. Damn the consequences indeed."  

“Imagine being her father…I wasn’t so gray until she turned about 12. A joy to watch but a nightmare to protect. Richard, when things arrive at a time when you’d be wanting my blessing you absolutely have it.” 

He smiled at the memory, and the fact that after that last bit, he realized Liz had been eavesdropping. She’d made the gesture as if she was locking her mouth with a key when she flashed him a knowing smile. Her sister-in-law had whispered, "She hates diamonds."

His response had been, "I know."

 

 

Stevie had a large sheet of paper on the dining table along with paint chips, fabric swatches and photos of things she’d apparently found on her outing that day while he was at meetings. She had an entire plan drawn up for how to tackle the biggest room in his flat. She knew he gave her free license, but she needed to run it by him anyhow. 

He returned home with Ben alongside him. It took him a moment to recognize what she was doing, lying on top of his table, with her little feet swinging up behind her. “Hello, love. I see you don’t let moss gather?” 

“Nope. And I want your opinion.” She giggled as he tickled her feet.

"Honestly, don't let me make style decisions. I meant what I'd said." Though he glanced at her ideas in spite of himself.

Ben laughed, "Honestly Richard is hopeless." 

She rolled and sat up. It was then that she realized he didn't look himself really. "So are you going to tell why you look like someone told you Santa isn't real?"

He rubbed the back of his neck dreading the possible impact to their relationship but forced the words from his mouth anyhow. “I got the part.” 

She gasped, launching herself into his arms. “Oh my god! Are you serious?” She looked into his face, "You don't look so excited. Are you the understudy or something? Did they suggest you do it in drag?

He held her, catching Ben’s I-told-you-so look over her shoulder. “Well I am... not the drag show thing, but the excited part...where did that come from anyway?" He blinked at her grinning face before continuing. "But rehearsals start next month, I'll be moving here essentially for that time...and…with the separation and…I wasn’t sure how you’d feel.” 

She jumped down from his arms and jumped up and down. “Like shitting frisbees! Like celebrating!" When Richard's eyes widened and he exchanged looks with Ben who was now fixated on the frisbee thing, she giggled and shook her head. "Okay wait that sounded horrible. I’m happy for you and you deserve to own this. I have some great news too that might make you feel better about your temporary move to London. But enough about me. Tonight is yours.” She kissed his cheek and then gave Ben a hug. "Hi Ben!" 

“Hello, beautiful. Fancy some French Cuisine?” 

“OOO Are you taking me on a date? Can Richard come too?”

Ben made an exaggerated gesture, "Oh I suppose we can include him, since you asked."

Richard rolled his eyes, "Sod off, get your own girlfriend." 

"Is this a restaurant where I need lady clothes?"

When Ben quirked an eyebrow, Richard translated. "Jackets are required, so..." Richard regarded her torn jeans and thread bare t-shirt and added, "...definitely not that. But make us feel underdressed either?" Ben made an  _A ha_ face.  _  
_

"Okay I'd better go get ready."

Ben winked, "Well in that case we have time for a drink or three. Where do you keep your whiskey?"

Stevie glowered up at him, "You watch yourself or... I'll wipe your cheeky smirk from your pretty face."

"Oh really, can you even reach?"

"You smug bastard. I'll just...climb up Richard first." She nodded triumphantly. To which both men roared with laughter.

Lady clothes consisted of an understated but elegant black silk organza over champagne silk dupioni, sleeveless, ballet neck, cocktail dress. A pair of nude Christian Dior pumps, vintage pearls at her neck and ears and her signature winged eyeliner over a neutral color palate, completed with a nude, dewy lip, she felt she managed to look elegant. After quickly rolling her hair into a chignon at her neck, she was ready. She strode with purpose out to the living room after 20 minutes.

The look on Richard's face made her shiver. "Will this suit?"

"No, take it off immediately and get in my bed." 

While the exchange was going on Ben took a photo of Stevie and sent it to Lee. He laughed when he recieved a response on the ride over.

_L--Sure, rub it in, tell Rich I still hate him._

Ben sighed and watched the two of them, so well matched, so in love. He was incredibly happy for his friend, but it was a bitter sweet thing since it only pointed out what he lacked in his own life. _  
_

 _B--Me too mate_.

 

It was still very new for her to show up to relatively normal places in a Limo, even a smaller one. But they offered a bit more privacy than a taxi did and more room for the looming giants with her to spread out.

The trio entered Henri's with Stevie in the middle and the dashing men flanking her. Heads turned, people whispered and it was completely surreal that this was actually her life. "I'm dead posh now." She said to ease her nerves.

Richard and Ben both chuckled. She lingered back with Richard while Ben inquired about their table. "I'll join you, I need the loo." She whispered to Richard.

Upon finishing, she turned to head inside the dining room where they were seated only to be stopped by the maître d. “Excuse me miss can I help you?"

"Oh no, I can find my party on my own, thank you."

"Well do you understand that we're a highly acclaimed establishment with a good reputation?”

She tried not to lose her patience. "Yes, that's why I'm here..." she leaned forward to read the name plate on the podium. "...Arthur."  _Really? This is going to happen now? I bet I make double your salary and like my job a whole lot more you conceited prick._  
  
In the most condescending tone the graying man could possibly manage, "You don't seem to be the type of person who would appreciate our atmosphere."

Though she was not ashamed of who she was, or what she was, it was an embarrassing situation in any case. She didn't like the way he spat out the word 'person' and it was all she could do to remain calm. "Well amazingly ladies with tattoos get hungry like everyone else and are willing to pay for cuisine when the mood strikes them. Now if you'll excuse me my party is waiting for me at the table.”

Eyebrows rose. “Oh, and exactly who are they?”

 _Oh for fuck sake, alright out comes my bitch face._ She _hated_ the idea of name dropping, but she would absolutely do so just to put egg on this prick's face. “Well, do the names Richard Armitage and Benedict Cumberbatch ring your overly pretentious bell any?” Her voice had gone cold and her tone and cadence to her speech indicated she was completely no nonsense. Still she didn't raise her voice. 

Before he spoke she could sense that Arthur didn't believe her. “Please, you must think I'm terribly naive. I'm certain they'll thank me for an uninterrupted meal.” He motioned for security. “Please escort this… _lady_ to the door?” 

The security guard took a hold of her elbow. She wrenched her arm from the security guard. “This is completely unnecessary, as I have no intention of remaining here longer than I must. I promise I will go without making a scene afterward, but please let me explain to Ben and Richard why I won't be joining them?”

Arthur nodded to the security guard thinking to call her bluff, as the security guard once again had taken ahold of her arm. “There’s a problem... Apparently I’m not fit to dine here and am being...forcibly invited to leave.”

 

Richard looked at his phone with confusion that Stevie was calling him. "It's Stevie...Darling wha--" When he listened to her, his eyes narrowed, “I beg your pardon?” 

Ben furrowed his brows, “What’s going on?” 

“It seems security is escorting Stevie to the door.” Positively furious, Richard rose and made his way to the foyer with purpose. Leaving interested diners in his wake curious as to the reason. 

To say the maître d was shocked would be an understatement when Richard appeared with Ben two steps behind him. One look at the frustrated tears Stevie was valiantly holding back and Richard was beyond reason. “Could somebody please explain to me why my girlfriend is not allowed to join me at my table?” His eyes were cold, his jaw was set, and his voice was harsh. _And I know fucking well that_ _this little story will make its viral debut on the web before the night is out, best make it a good one I guess._ “Please remove your hand from her arm…now!” He practically roared.

At that point Ben moved to stand with her, effectively placing himself between her and the security guard. He gave Stevie a comforting look as he put a protective arm around her shoulders giving her an affectionate squeeze before letting go so as not to generate more gossip than this debacle would. He personally couldn't wait to give his official opinion of the exchange in this case. Adding that to Stevie's presence at his premiere the next day would hopefully sway the public in her favor.

She worried her lip. "Richard, I promised I wouldn't cause a scene."

"Yes, but you didn't promise _I_ wouldn't." He leveled his gaze at Arthur again and his voice sliced the air between them. "I'm waiting for answers." 

“M-Mr Armitage…sir…You must understand that I-I had no idea that she was with you.” At that point he was stammering out a string of unintelligible apologies and excuses.  

“Oh I think I understand a great deal about this situation. Let me make this easier for you and ask yes or no questions alright?” Richard couldn’t look at Stevie at the moment or he would have likely punched the bloke for what he'd apparently thought was a suitable explanation for being a prick. Although truthfully he was still considering it. “Is she dressed inappropriately?” 

“No sir.” He tugged at his collar uncomfortably as a crowd began to gather. 

“Was her behavior offensive? Was it at any time offensive or inappropriate through any of this?” He advanced on the man who backed up to the podium, putting it between himself and Richard.

"Actually...no."

“I would bet she never even raised her voice." His eyes met Stevie's filled with admiration. "Possessing level of self control that I obviously lack." He composed himself before he continued. "You made an assumption about her, didn’t you? I would imagine she told you she was joining my friend and me. And you assumed she was lying in spite of the fact that she’s undeniably beautiful, stylishly yet modestly dressed, impeccably groomed, and behaves like a lady in every definition of the word. But you don't approve, because she makes you uncomfortable and I bet you don't even know why. As happens she wouldn't be caught dead seeking validation from people such as yourself regarding certain aspects of her appearance which dare to defy convention. Seeing her, deep down, makes you realize you lack the stones to do the same for yourself. So you remove her presence to make yourself and others like you feel validated. You didn't care that you were about to humiliate her, because to you she was no longer important. Am I right?"

"N-No sir...I well...Yes I suppose so...we have a certain standard to maintain...sir. These are not my rules."

His eyes held his lovely Stevie's as he continued to speak while he crossed the room until he was directly in front of her. “And those rules judge the woman I love to be an unacceptable choice as my dinner companion at this _respectable_ establishment." he spat out derisively. He ghosted his fingers over the tattoo of her left arm until he took her hand in his. "My job takes me away from her more often than I like. And I will not entertain the very idea being somewhere she is unwelcome when I'm fortunate enough to be able to spend time with her. And while you, sir, have decided she is nothing, and treated her as if she didn't matter, to me she is everything, and the only thing that does matter." _Damn the consequences..._ And with that, he placed his other hand along the side of her face, leaned down, and gently kissed her.  

With that there was a collective sigh from the women, some who were dabbing at their eyes paired masculine grunts of appreciation. Some actually patted Richard's back appreciatively.

Completely floored, Stevie looked up into his beautiful blue eyes with the understanding that he completely _got_ her. In her mind, there was no possible future without him in her life. _I will do whatever it takes to be with him for the rest of my life, damn the consequences._

Ben cleared his throat and turned to Richard. “Right, the car is out front. Shall we?"

 

 

 


	11. Of Storms, Hellfire and Red Carpets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moody actor surfaces. How does feisty little Stevie handle it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, arranging events and making up people to suit the story rather than to be historically accurate. There's a little sex in there because it's fun. Don't read it at the office.

She was still smiling from the bliss of her morning shower while she made them coffee in nothing but her bra and panties. Once Richard had joined her, she supposed, it more likely fell under the classification of 'water yoga' rather than a mere act of hygiene. How could she really be expected to control herself around him with that glorious body of his? A body she never in a million years thought would be alright to put her hands on. Those slippery kisses under the spray, her nipples hardening as they came in contact with his well defined chest and his lovely hands everywhere burning her with their touch. All together were enough to drive any self respecting woman to wrap her soapy hand around his fantastic, already-hard cock, stroking it until he had her up against tiled wall. He hadn't been in a hurry as he'd slipped himself inside her proceeding to rock his hips against hers with a slow, steady rhythm. She remembered his eyes on hers, the intensity within them as his throaty, deep voice said, "I want you to feel how much I love you. When we're apart, remember this."

 

Richard was seated on the side of their bed... _their bed...their life.._.only wearing his jeans yet as he'd been interrupted by the phone. From the look on his face, she knew it had to be his publicist. It was expected as someone with an iPhone had caught it on video and uploaded it to YouTube. The gossip media circuit was practically having and orgasm over the juiciest glimpse of Richard's private life anyone had ever seen. It was interesting to see their relationship suddenly being painted in a positive light in print. What had been made vividly clear to those who bothered to watch the events unfold was that Richard was a man seriously in love with and very protective of her, but that he was a very good man. _Oh how romantic! Oh I wish someone would love me like that! Such a lovely man! Give em hell Richard! I don't see anything wrong with her, what bastards they were to her! Imagine getting to hang around Richard Armitage AND Benedict Cumberbatch like that?_ Weresome of the comments below. The scandal was clearly going to be on the part of Henri's and not Richard exactly.

Sometime around midnight last night she'd gotten a text message from Amanda.

_A--What the hell happened at dinner? You, Richard and Ben are all over the news. There's even video._

_S--Oh fuck really? Richard is going to hate me._

_A--The man in that video could never hate you over something like this. Good for him! by the way...fuck is he Always THAT romantic?_

S--Honestly? _Yes_

_A--He's more like John Thornton than he thinks he is then. Don't tell him I said that. Anyways, what are you wearing for the premiere?_

_S--something I made_

_A--Okay word of advice, don't. I know you also made the dress you were wearing last night. Honestly you're talented But they will ask you 'who' you're wearing. Don't take this the wrong way, but you want to have some impressive answer._

_S--That's stupid._

_A--Yes, I agree. But I'm being honest. Do you have time to go get something tomorrow earlier? I'll pick you up._

_S--It feels like selling out just to wear some Italian guys name on my clothes. I appreciate a designer quality of work, you've seen my shoes, but I'm just not overly impressed, and don't like pretending that it's important. Besides...it's all so...boring?_

_A--Understood. Look I have just the thing. You sew, do you have your measurements? I have this friend who owns a little shop and designs and makes all of her dresses. High quality fabrics, ethically traded stuff. I think you'd really like her work._

Amanda had sent her measurements over and she had an appointment at 11 for a fitting. She refused to let a stylist do her hair and make-up. But plugging a local, independent designer was very appealing. 

Richard's angry voice pulled her from her thoughts as she moved into the room from the doorway.

"You’re just upset that you're actually required to work for that generous paycheck you've been receiving. I have a right to my own life. It's your job to protect that as much as one can, and at the very least be sure that what does sneak through is truthful." He rubbed his eyes as he listened growing more frustrated.  "Actually, it's not your job to constantly bludgeon me with your opinions if you happen to disagree with my choices. I've told you my feelings about this particular subject multiple times..." He had to force himself to listen at this point and had hit his limit. "I'm bloody sick of having to protect Stevie from you. It is clear that your opinion is no longer of value to me. You're fired." He wanted to tear his hair out but thrust his fingers into it instead. "Don't sound so surprised that I'm finally fed up with your bullshit whinging...Yes I mean it. My life is no longer your business. My lawyer will be in touch with your agency." He put his phone down angrily and turned around to see Stevie standing there holding a cup of coffee for him. He was still vibrating with temper when he met her undaunted expression. 

"I think I might need to switch you to decaf." She smiled tentatively. His answer was to skewer her with his still very angry eyes while he took a sip.  _No?_   _Okay, lets try this,_ "Does he have a name?” 

 

“What?” His response was still curt, but inside he was intrigued by her audacious attitude in response to one of his 'moods.'

Instead of a retreat she moved to sit beside him, leaning into his side, glancing up at him through her long lashes. She could still feel the tension in him. _Come on Richard, I'm not going to shrink away and let you be miserable._  “Your publicist. I mean you’ve called him Asshole, Bastard, Wanker…Unemployed…” 

_What?_ Unable to help himself, he let out a breathy laugh as his temper drained from him as well, "Damn you woman..." He slid his arm around her and gave her a long look. "It's Sawyer...his name that is. Now that it's irrelevant."

"So what do you do now?" She asked conversationally.

"Well, I was actually planning to fire him after tonight. I don't need to invite that type of aggriavation. I'll just put in a call to my agent, her name is Carol, by the way." He was rewarded with a triumphant smile. "She'll be able to cover that a bit until the PR agency can find me a new one that doesn't have his head up his arse."

This seemed to be a good time to bring up her still unshared career news. "I have an appointment next week in New York to discuss having my own representation." 

She'd said it so softly he wasn't sure how he even heard her. "Oh?" A blush bloomed on her face.

She looked down at her coffee as she continued. "Yeah, well it seems that I have a bit of my own celebrity going on with what I do. Even with my price increase, demand has not slowed down and my clientele has shifted to some _high profile_ people, mostly gents but some women too."

"You told me you were busy, but you didn't tell me that bit." He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, my reputation for being very closed mouthed about who my clients are has been a pretty big selling point. Some of my clients are located here, actually." She shrugged self-consciously. 

"People have been flying to New York to see you? And you're embarrassed to let people know?"  

"We're not so different about our careers that you have to ask that. I do what I love. I'm proud of my work, but I want it to speak for itself. I'm not comfortable bragging. You don't brag."

He did understand. "So why an agent?"

"I cringe at the term, _celebrity stylist_." Richard understood that too. "Michael and I had discussed it last week as he knows about this more than I do. But basically what it means is that I'm based out of New York until I'd rather it be otherwise anyhow. I'll agree to work so many days there, for Michael specifically, in a Calendar month. But then I could also work in other places as well. Anywhere in the world actually. Salons, magazines, photographers...you name it really...will contract out my work for a percentage of what I can charge for work like that. And of course you know how much an agent gets paid. And for this type of representation, since a lot of what I do is print work, their function covers more things like management and PR. They'll only be paid based on the work I do when not at Michael's shop though. It sort of protects me if it didn't work out so well to do this. Michael's been wanting me to do this for a year now. But I wasn't motivated to step outside my comfort zone until recently. I really owe some of this to you."

_Anywhere in the world?_ "Does this mean what I think it means?"

The hope in his voice was unmistakable. It made her smile broaden. "Yes, while you're in London, I can basically arrange things to have work here. And that sort of goes for other locations as well, within reason. We'll be busy, but at least in the same time zone primarily."

He pulled her to him and gave her a crushing hug. “I’m unbelievably proud of you. And I’m humbled. No one has ever gone to the effort of trying to make things easier. I’ve always been made to feel guilty for my career goals. And I know you’ve promised you’re not that way…but they all did too. And I just want you to know that I appreciate you taking me as I am.” 

"Well…you made it very clear you also do the same for me. Loudly. In public no less. You make it easy to want to be good to you, and good for you. You're not so hard to love, you know."

With that they got dressed and not a minute later, there was a knock at the front door. She jumped, “Fuck. I forgot Amanda was taking me to get a dress."

When Amanda was let inside, she smiled, “Hullo Richard. Mind if I borrow your date for the day. I’ll have her back by 2?” 

“I thought you had a dress.” He looked confused for a moment.

“Since last night…” Stevie thought that would be enough explanation until she caught his frown.

He didn't like the idea that Stevie was second guessing herself because of that and a frown settled on his face.

Amanda cut in. “Look, like it or not, she going to be watched like a hawk, I’ll not let her be thrown to the wolves. I won't make her sell out. You should know me better than that, Richard so stop giving me that look. She can fill you in on the details later. Trust me on this one?"

 

 

She virtually locked herself in the guest room while she got ready. Martin and Amanda agreed to ride with them and arrived early so that Amanda could help Stevie out.

“Does she really need help?” Richard scratched his head.

“Well Amanda brought a bottle of wine in there, perhaps they’re just getting pissed?” Martin smirked. 

“I know Stevie appreciates her friendship very much. And I’m no help from a woman’s perspective."

Martin laughed, “Neither am I. We like her very much. Ben gave me a little more about the little scandal last night at lunch today.”

Richard rubbed his jaw, “Yeah well I ended up firing Sawyer over the whole thing. I’m bloody tired of being told to get rid of her. As it is I feel like she’s being constantly tested.”

Stevie leaned in close to inspect her lipstick before popping it into her little hand bag. “How do you fucking do this?” She turned to her friend. “What if I trip and totally eat shit right in front of everyone?”

“Get up and take a bow? Richard will be there to hold onto. We’ll be right behind you when he stops to greet fans. We’ll wait with you until he's at your side again before we go do our bit.”

“You’ve been so good to me. You have no idea what it means to me.” The women hugged for a moment.

“I gained a friend as much as you have, you know. Now let’s have another look at you before make your debut.”

Stevie obediently turned, and then looked at the full length mirror. “Do you think he’ll like it?”

“Let’s go find out?” She winked at the girl.

 

 

Amanda slipped out of the bedroom with a triumphant smile.

“Is she ready?” Richard asked.

"No, I'm just out here because I missed you so much." She winked. "Yes, as much as someone new to this can be I suppose. Though her biggest fear is that she’ll…how did she put it…trip and eat shit on the red carpet.” They broke into grins. Reaching up she adjusted Richard’s tie. “I told her it was your job to keep her from doing that. For Fuck Sakes, come on, Stevie!” 

She appeared in the hallway and came towards the group in the living room. She was dressed in a flirty little 1920's inspired party dress that had black lace over champagne satin and the flattering bias cut, with its flared, swing skirt which draped perfectly over her hour-glass figure. A rhinestone brooch accented the center bust resting below a flattering V that modestly hinted at her generously rounded breasts.  Her eyes were smoky with her considerable lashes accented, and her little mouth painted in a deep red bow. Her hair was gathered in a mix of finger waves and defined curls. The skirt stopped mid-thigh giving Richard a nice view of her fantastically toned legs. Jewelry, shoes, bag all completed the look.

Stevie was waiting for Richard to say something. But he was standing there, mesmerized with his mouth hanging open a bit, as he took it all in. Vibrant, stylish, striking, gorgeous, sweet were all things that could describe the perfect blend of 20s starlet and everything that was already perfect about Stevie. Amanda could tell Stevie was really nervous. “Richard, dear, you might want to actually say something before your girlfriend passes out from holding her breath.” 

Both Stevie and Richard laughed, breaking the stand-off. "Do I look okay?"

He shook his head, "No."

"No?"

"Okay is not how I'd describe how positively stunning you look right now." He took her hand and kissed it. 

Amanda blinked, _Stevie wasn't lying, he was always like that._

 

 

Martin was watching the silent couple with interest. Amanda was on the phone with the nanny at the moment and Stevie and Richard were not terribly talkative at first, and he'd noticed Richard's mood had changed dramatically in the last few minutes. 

The red carpet was looming. She dreaded it, but it wasn't about her and she knew he hated it, so she was determined not to say a single negative word about it and add to his stress. But Richard spoke to her softly as if he'd read her mind. “I’m sorry for putting you through this.”  

When she actually looked confused and asked, “What do you mean?” He met her gaze, looking regretful. 

“The baggage attached to my career choices.” His gaze wandered to the window again, clearly he was upset at the moment as his voice was flat.

"I...where is this coming from suddenly?" She felt somewhat blindsided in this downward shift. "Have I done something--"

At this point Amanda was looking out the window through her sunglasses, pretending to be preoccupied. _She scares the hell out of you, doesn't she, Rich?_

"Because I pay attention." He cut her off, "No, you haven't done anything. You don't complain even when you have a right to do so." His voice was still low, but he was irritated. "It makes me wonder if there came a time when you were fed up that I'd have any warning that something was wrong before you just left me." It was then that he deliberately glanced down at how hard she was gripping her hand bag, an obvious tell. And when she forced her fingers to straighten, and they were trembling a bit, another tell. 

She felt like she'd been dealt a blow. Her eyes widened.

"If you didn't want to do this, you could have told me." 

Though Martin was ready to step in should Richard actually bite her head off, he remained quiet, watching them discretely, pretending to be interested in his phone. _Oh my friend, don't do this to yourself._

“Richard?” She wasn’t sure where his mind was, but it was someplace fairly dark, deeper than anger...fear? stress? vulnerability? She was aware of his reputation for moodiness. One was rarely as intense as he was without that but she'd never really witnessed it. Fear snaked its tendrils around her heart squeezing painfully while he was shoving at her and pulling away from her like this. She knew he heard her. With a much firmer voice she said, “Please look at me…” His expression wasn’t cold, but it was distant. It was defensive.

"Do you even want me here?"

He seemed surprised by the question. "Of course I do."

She genuinely hurt for him. She was no stranger to the fear of rejection. She leaned up on the seat, to get closer to him. Her solemn brown eyes saw everything in his blue ones. “Do you love it? Your career, that is. Good with the bad, at the end of the day, are you happy being a successful actor? Be honest. Is it still as important to you now as it was before me?”

When his eyes went from bland to cautious, she felt slightly more confident. She wanted to kiss his doubts away, but this time she felt he needed actual words. And he was still wound tight, and his posture was rigid. This stormy sea was not yet successfully traversed. “Yes. I love what I do.” His gaze slid away again, she felt him bracing himself for an emotional blow of some kind. “And yes, it’s still as important.”

Martin saw the gentle smile that Richard hadn’t caught when he looked away. He texted to Amanda:

_M--_ _Are you getting this?_

_A—Yes…I’m trying not to give myself away by crying._

“Then it’s also just as important to me.”

Richard’s gaze cut back to her, clearly surprised by her words.

M—Ah, that got his attention.

"If being nervous about something meant that I didn't want to experience it, then you would never have met me in the first place you know." She smoothed her skirt letting that hang in the air in a bit before she added, “You know that when I tell you I love you, I’m not fucking around and that I mean it, right?”

His expression softened a bit, his posture eased as well. “Yes, I know that you mean it.”

_A—Fuck I feel so dirty watching this but I can’t help it!_

_M—We don’t exist right now anyway. Fifty Quid says they’re married by this time next year._

_Yes but you don’t fully trust it anyhow,_ She thought. _Why drop hints when you can drop anvils instead?_ “Do you know _what_ I love about you?”

His expression softened a touch more as he shook his head looking a little shy. “No, not really.”

“Everything.” She let that sink in for a moment before continuing. "Every single fucking thing. All parts of who and what you are, good or bad. I’ll never ask you to be anything other than who you are whatever that means, whether you’re big shot Thorin Oakenshield, Richard III,” he actually cracked a smile at that one, “or just Richard the regular guy moody or not. I will willingly follow you through hell if that’s what it takes to remain at your side.”

He lost his smile as the anvil landed on her target with an almost audible clang based on his expression alone. If the term gobsmacked needed a clear visual to accompany its definition, it would have been Richard's face.

_A—I could positively kiss that woman. Did you see the look on his face? Have the driver circle the block for a bit. Rich looks like he’s about to lose his shit._

Martin was surprised they were nearly there and did as Amanda asked, though quietly. He had a feeling his friend would need a moment to regain his composure. They made good time getting there and had about 20 minutes before they really needed to be heading in so as to make it before Ben did.

_M—Good catch._

His friends were exactly right. He’d felt like he just had the wind knocked out of him. Abruptly he pulled her into a kiss that was filled with every ounce of love he had for her. Her goodness was something he never felt quite worthy of, but he’d die trying to be if that's what it took. When he pulled back, he held her gaze. “I'm sorry. I was just afraid. I didn't mean--"

She put her fingers gently to his lips. "I know."

"I feel that you’re making all of the sacrifices, and I’m doing nothing.”

“You're joking.” She stared at him agog for a moment. “Like moving in with me and my cat was nothing. Or the fact that you fired your publicist this morning because of me? How about that roaring public declaration of your love at the restaurant last night? I could show you a replay of that if you need help remembering what that crowd of people, and I, will never forget.” She reached for her clutch.

Martin chose to remark at that point, bringing Richard back to earth, “My favorite part was the collective sigh from every woman in the room like Richard was prince fucking charming all of a sudden." 

He put his hands on hers. “That isn’t necessary…really.” His smile was sheepish. “I get your point.”

“What, I don’t even get a glare?” Martin quipped.

“I imagine I deserve to give my pound of flesh for the most awkward limo ride ever.”

Amanda rolled her eyes, "Could have been worse, we could have been shagging at the same time."

He turned to Stevie and took her hand. “The car can stop circling now as Stevie has quieted the beast. It’s time to face hell fire in the form of a red carpet walk.”  

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Let go and enjoy the ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. I never mention a movie title because I totally made that up, and put my dream cast together for it, and that detail isn't really what mattered anyhow. Well I hope I'm not disappointing anyone so far <3

While Amanda started giving Stevie the Cliff's Notes version of what to expect, Richard was deep in thought. Arguments with Stevie, if you could call them that really, were a very different experience than what he’d had in past relationships. She had a temper, but rarely ever threw the bait that would start an argument. He had a nasty temper and he was well aware of that. What people saw as his “moodiness” was as often as not an attempt to let the steam out slowly. Generally, people were inclined to avoid him whenever possible. Five-foot-two Stevie unerringly refused to leave his side, even if it meant of taking the brunt of his frustration. But every time it happened, he felt closer to her and more assured of her love for him than he had beforehand. And that was an important distinction, perhaps the most important one. 

He glanced down at their joined hands, his right hand with her left hand. Such moments made him aware of just how small she was compared to him. So small that he could curl his entire hand around hers when she made a fist. With her trademark short, black manicured nails and slender fingers, her hands were probably the prettiest he’d seen. And when she touched him… _time to think about something else with the red carpet looming._  He traced his index finger up and down the back of each of hers, stopping at the third finger from her thumb imagining what it would look like with his ring there. The whispered promises of something so incredible to him echoed loudly in his mind. He furrowed his brow,  _She doesn't like diamonds..._

The familiar buzz of his vibrating phone broke him from his thoughts. 

 _M--So when's the Wedding?_  

More amused than annoyed, Richard's eyes crinkled with a smile as he glanced up at Martin. 

 _R--Ironic question coming from you. You're starting to be as bad as Lee._  

Martin sighed, rolling his eyes. Richard's barbs never bothered him.

 _M--Don't be dull. No one can be that bad, anyhow. I happen to know you're the marrying type. Does that mean you haven't thought about it at all?_  

_R--I think about it a lot. I have no idea if she does._

Martin took a long look at Stevie, hanging on his partner's words as if her life depended on it. It was clear that she was interested in making an effort in any case.

Stevie was fixing her lipstick while Amanda spoke to her. “People will shout questions. Don't feel obligated to answer any of those. Fortunately for your first go round, it will be relatively easy since this is all about Ben, Tom, Tilda and the rest of that cast. The press will want to know what you're wearing, where you're from, what you do for a living. They know that Richard doesn't answer personal questions very often, but everyone is dying to know who you are. One of two things may happen there. They won't ask them of you either. Or they will try to pump you for information. It's perfectly okay to tell someone you'd rather not answer something that's asked. Your own terms okay?”

"There is a reason we liken it to running the gauntlet." Martin chimed in cheerfully, "A good sense of humor helps in this situation."

As the car pulled up, Richard glance over at her with a crooked grin as she closed her purse and took a breath. "I don't have to let go of your hand if you don't want me to. Remember that Kevin is in the car behind us probably wondering why we circled the block actually...if for some reason all three of us are occupied, just stand with him. If you find you're panicking, let him know."

She smiled tightly, "They're shooting photos, not bullets. I mean the concept is a little wierd, right? But, I think I can handle it."

When the door was opened for them, Richard helped her out, and clasped her hand with one more long look at her face. "Thank you." He said with his voice full of emotion.

"I would not choose to be any other place at this moment."

He knew without a doubt she actually meant that. 

It was the most surreal moment of her entire life. Even the events of the day she'd met him didn't match the intensity of this. The man who gave her one last reassuring squeeze of her hand turned his head towards their destination, and in that instance, he was the man that the crowd in front of them needed him to be. The Richard Armitage she'd first met created quite a stir through the crowd, especially among the women. He was someone who held a potent level of charisma of which Stevie had yet to see its equal. Owning the space he occupied with his powerful bearing, he had an arresting presence which went far beyond his lean, handsome face and deep voice. Destined for greatness, he was awe-inspiring and commanded respect. The world seemed to slow down and everything in front of her became vibrantly clear as her gaze swept over the gathering of fans.  _And somehow, I’m on this side of the velvet ropes. What I'd once thought was impossible has happened. This is my extraordinary life._ _And few months ago, I was one of them._ And that changed everything about this for her. His fans would imagine themselves in her shoes because her presence meant that he'd found his partner outside of the cadre industry professionals. What his fans absolutely wanted to see was that they were a real couple. The smile that bloomed on her lips was natural and radiant, as she understood exactly what she needed to do. The once gobsmacked fan-girl became Richard Fucking Armitage's girlfriend. 

There was a cluster of fans that had been given the opportunity to be at a place along the velvet rope before they saw the movie. He took a the opportunity to sign autographs and connect with eager fans. At first, she hung back a couple of steps to give him room and give them their moment with Richard, just as she once had. But she was actually surprised when a couple of young women had asked him about her. He must have told them her name because a couple people called out to her, "Stevie! We want to meet you too!" There were giggles in the crowd around them. After she moved to stand at his side, he placed a reassuring hand on her back as people reached to shake her hand. There was a bubble of happy chatter, compliments and well wishing. There were also several inquiries for pictures with Richard.

He observed her with fascination as she won them over with her genuine ease, attainability and a simple offer to take the photos. She understood them better than he ever could. "Hand Kevin your phones or cameras, and I'll help get some good ones," She offered amiably. There was a collective rush of appreciative comments as Kevin graciously helped Stevie with her task. They gathered around him in pairs or groups, all grins and giggles. "Come on, get in closer to him, trust me he doesn't bite and you'll thank me later." More giggles bubbled out of the crowd. His smiles for the photos were genuine because he was smiling at Stevie.

As she took photo after photo, as quickly as possible, she spotted a girl who must have been in her mid-teens. She was with someone who was probably her mother, hovering at the fringes. The mother was whispering words of encouragement to her. She had deep violet, bobbed hair, pale skin, a nose ring, several earrings and was dressed in a simple black tank dress, fishnet stockings and Doc Martin boots. And she was completely enraptured with Richard's every move. The girl must have sensed Stevie's interest and was startled, pulling herself further back. As Kevin had handed back the final phone, Stevie tugged on his sleeve, now making eye contact with the mother. "There's a girl that wants to meet Richard, I'm certain of it. The mother is right where I'm looking."

Kevin nodded, "I see her, the one trying to be invisible? As if one could be with hair that color."

"She's overwhelmed by the group of girls in front of her and will leave kicking herself for the rest of her life if we don't do something."

"You're a real sweetheart, you know that right?" Kevin tilted his head, "I'll see what I can do."

The mother's eyes warmed as Kevin approached a security guard stationed near by, directing his attention to the girl in question.

Richard was about to move on but Stevie stopped him. "Not yet. There's one more."

Intrigued he followed her gaze with his own and observed as the security guard that Kevin had spoken to approached a woman and spoke to her. It was then he noticed a girl he otherwise wouldn't have. "Maybe she's just not a fan?"

"Oh no, she's a fan." She spotted a book clutched in her hands. "I'd lay money on the likelihood the book is certain Gaskell novel."

The girl's eyes widened as they were beckoned forward, and the rope was moved aside letting the women inside. It was difficult for Stevie to not tear up at the scene that unfolded in front of her. Richard had to draw her out a bit, asking her questions. Gemma was 15 years old and had come from Edinburgh after being given premiere tickets from a radio contest. And while she was a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston, she was really hoping that Richard would be there. Richard signed her book, which was the very book Stevie had guessed it was, and posed for a photo. Gemma surprised Stevie by wanting her in a photo as well. When Richard commented on Stevie being shorter than Gemma, she jabbed him in the ribs, earning giggles from the younger girl and her mother.

"Kevin, can we have them sit with us?" Stevie asked, watching hope bloom across Gemma's face. 

"Unfortunately no, the seating for VIP is pre-arranged. I'm sorry." Gemma's face dropped. 

"Dammit." Stevie bit her lip as she pulled on Richard's sleeve before whispering into his ear.  _"What if I were to trade seats with her? Would you mind?"_

Richard was briefly caught off-guard by the unusual request. Then again, it was Stevie making the request. Deeply moved by the circumstances and her generosity, he leaned down and whispered back. " _Your generous heart is one of the things I love so very much about you. I don't mind if this is what you want to do, love."_ Arrangements were quickly made to have the women brought inside by Kevin after the cast was through, before the rest of the audience was let in.    

The rest of the red carpet went smoothly. Some comments were blush worthy and Stevie didn't answer thoses. But then a female interviewer who had been taking live Twitter questions asked, "Okay this question has been asked more than once now, so I have a duty to ask it. We all know you were a fan of Richard's before you eventually met him. So did you fantasize about kissing Richard before you two met? And is Richard a good kisser?"

Chuckling, shy Richard made a brief appearance as he gave a self conscious smile rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh god." He knew before she even opened her mouth that she was going to answer that one as the devil appeared in her eyes. 

"Did I fantasize about kissing Richard?" She raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "Hell yes I did. What female who's seen that infamous train station scene in North and South doesn't imagine being in Daniela Denby-Ashe's place for that kiss?" Richard's nervous laugh was felt against her as her first answer inspired some cheers and whistles. "And is Richard a good kisser? He most definitely is." 

He leaned down to her ear, "Cheeky woman." and then excused them in order to move on, keeping his hand on the small of her back as felt natural.

On the ride over to the club, when he'd later remark about her ease with his fans she, in her usual poetically blunt fashion, told him, "Well, it's easy to know what they want to hear when they spend their free time eye-fucking you. You're the best lover they've never had."

Richard blushed while Amanda and Martin laughed. "When it's put that way, it's a bit unsettling" He remarked.

"Don't act like you're innocent in the sexual fantasies about another real life person department." She quirked a cynical eyebrow at him. 

His crooked grin was back in place when he said, "Well now I didn't say that...after all I did carry your picture around fo a year."

 

 

The after party took place at a rented out club. Stevie was unaware she was the favored topic of conversation as she was in the middle of a very animated conversation with Tilda Swinton thanks to Ben's introduction. Richard chuckled, "Well I might as well forget about having her attention for a good long while."

Ben clapped a hand on his shoulder, "Sorry...had no idea it would be like introducing her to the female Jesus there."

"No worries. I'm just glad she's having a good time. She certainly makes every aspect of my life better, even the bloody red carpet business."

Amanda's smile was warm, "It's loads of fun to see this world through her eyes. Determined to challenge convention too. You've had some real boring, jealous, selfish and bitchy cows on your arm, you know."

"Oh so now the truth comes out?" Richard remarked dryly. "I take it you approve of my choice this time?"

"Obviously." She grinned at him, patting his knee. "It's out of love that I say what we've all been thinking. Look, everyone you've been with played all nice like some sort of fucking shrinking violet until you got them on the red carpet. That's when their true colors showed the most. Like they were holding court or something. The only exception was Annie, right? And she wanted her own version of you and none of what came with your success."

How could he be irritated with Amanda for telling the absolute truth. "And how does everyone see Stevie?" 

Martin answered that one. "As the woman who gave up her VIP seat at a big movie premiere to give a young girl the thrill of a lifetime by being able to spend two hours with her hero." 

Richard smiled, reemembering the time he'd spent with Gemma following the red carpet when it was time to take their seats. She was a really bright girl, reminded him of Stevie in a number of ways, not the least of which was her energy. She fancied herself a writer someday. And in the center of the VIP crowd, she'd met Ben, Tom, Martin, Amanda and numerous others who were making a concerted effort to make the starstruck girl's experience a memorable one. "Stevie told me she'd exchanged contact information with her mother, intending to keep in touch."

"Yet another reason the rest of us are going to keep Stevie even if you don't." Ben commented casually."So which of us is going to rescue our little pixie from Tom?" Ben observed as his closest friend and costar approached her.  

 _So Tom Hiddleston is standing in front of me_.  She thought as she was greeted with one of the friendliest smiles she'd ever encountered.

"Tilda!" He laid a smacking kiss on her and crushed her in a big hug. "I believe I have not had the pleasure of being introduced to your friend." The voice attached to the lanky, urbane man was silky and the gaze was direct. The unusual shade of blonde curls, the blue eyes... _at least I think they're blue_...and face that was equal parts approachable and beautiful all added up to a singularly attractive guy. He definitely had the countenance and bearing of a man perfectly suited for Shakespearean theatre. Tom was magnetic in an entirely different way than Richard was.

Knowing her good friend well, Tilda rolled her eyes. "Stevie this is my good friend Tom." As Tom took her offered hand in a semi grand gesture of bringing it to his lips, she also added dryly, "Tom, Stevie is here with Richard, and is not actually auditioning for the position of your latest arm candy."

Stevie didn't miss the annoyance that briefly passed through his facial features before he brushed his thumb across her knuckles and released her hand. "I happen to know that, actually. And really... _arm candy_? You wound me." His eyes met hers and had not missed her attempt to hide her amusement. "It's a pleasure to meet you, my dear. I see Ben wasn't exaggerating when he described your uncommon beauty. Richard's a very lucky man."

Stevie's pale skin reddened in a blush as she blinked, "Um, wow, thank you. I'm a huge fan of your work, more so after seeing the movie." 

"How nice of you to say so!" He broke into a wide grin. "Ah I was wondering how long it would take before Richard would come and mark his territory." Instantly rewarded with a hard look from the man he spoke of, he laughed.

Richard's arm slipped in around Stevie's waist with an exaggerated possessiveness. "I was just trying to save her before you started licking on her."

Tom gave a mockingly offended look at Richard's barb, "I would never lick on her...in public anyhow." He winked at her. "First Tilda takes the piss and now you. Maybe bribery would help increase my popularity? I'll buy the next round...Anyhow I need something to do before the music starts."

Ben chuckled. "Time enough to get Tom pissed and to throw him out on the dance floor to break the ice."

Stevie felt the rumble of Richard's laughter as the group came together, drinks were secured and merriment commenced and soon there was music but no dancing. "I'm in a room full of professional show offs, the empty dance floor is kind of surprising to me." She grinned into her drink. "Too bad it's not an American wedding, we'd have a drunken bridesmaid out there to get things going." She remembered her brother's wedding with a mental giggle.

Martin nodded, "Professional show-offs, I've never heard a more fitting description."

Amanda laughed, "Oh that's not an exclusively American phenomenon. But you wouldn't happen to know this from personal experience?" She'd observed Stevie, now seated on a bar stool so as not to have to crane her neck to make eye contact, tapping her feet on the rung in time to the beat for the past few songs.

A self-conscious grin broke out on her face. "Well sort of yeah. But in the right set circumstances I don't need to be shit faced to get me to dance."

Richard gave her a sideways look, "Oh really? You like to dance?" It had been awhile since he'd felt the little buzz that inevitably came with social drinking among this crowd. 

She knew how to dance fairly well. But it had been awhile. All eyes were on her right then as she nodded. "Please, my best friend in the world is gay and I lived in L.A. in my 20s?" She downed the last of her cocktail after her answer.

"So what are you doing still sitting here then?" Richard's demeanor had taken on a flirtatious manner as he leaned into her so that the seductive quality of his voice was most effective. "Be a good girl and go warm up the dance floor for us."

Even as she shivered at that velvety sensuality, her eyes went wide, "By myself? Oh god no! I said in the right circumstances, which these don't qualify. Why, do you have some sort of voyeurism kink I'm unaware of?" She turned in her chair to face him. 

Richard smirked wickedly, "I might. Why don't you go out there and find out?" He definitely fancied the idea of watching her move on the dance floor. But his pride wouldn't allow him to attempt to drag her out there on the likilhood that she absolutely refused.

She shivered at the look in his eyes, licking her lips. She wanted so desperately to be brave enough to go out there.

That exchange earned a smarmy stare from Tom as he remarked, "Normally it's me people are asking to get a room, Richard." Tom's signature _ehehe_ came out. "Come on Stevie, I'll go with you."

Well that would make it much easier if Tom did the dragging...

Panic and excitement slithered through her. She shook her head, "Room full of strangers, hello?" 

Tom raised his eyebrows, "I'd be willing to bet you know more people here than you did in the average L.A. Club?"

"Says the man who will shake his tail feathers on demand for national television? There's also usually a crowd to get lost among in that case." She looked to Richard for help and instead caught the grins exchanged between the two men flanking her. _Dammit, no help there._

Tom laughed, "Point taken. But this isn't national T.V. Come on, I'm going out there, I know you're dying to go out too, you can barely stand sitting still." He stood up removing his jacket and tie. 

 _I'm being ganged up on by two of the sexiest men ever._ Stevie's look of panic was priceless as her eyes pleaded with Richard who just said, "Don't worry, when I'm done with this," he held up his drink, "I'll join you I promise. Please?"

"You totally suck!" She gasped. "Fine...If you don't...I know where you sleep, Armitage." She said earning a bit of laughter from those who were listening.

"Promises promises."

"Might as well face the inevitable. I can't believe I'm agreeing to this." She reached into her hair rapidly plucking out a hand full of pins, releasing a cascade of black waves down her back. Depositing the pins on her bar napkin, she then turned placing her hand in none other than Tom Hiddleston's outstretched hand. _Stupid girl, Tom Hiddleston asked you to dance and you seriously tried to turn him down?_ He strongly resembled Loki at that moment as he helped her hop off the bar stool. "She looked back at Richard, don't you dare laugh." And she let him lead her away to the dance floor. 

Ben shook his head, “Now this I have to see. What if she’s terrible?” 

"We don't dare laugh or I'm a dead man." Richard leaned towards his friend, “And we never…ever tell her.” 

Amanda glared at both of them. “You two are a couple of shits. I bet she’s better than you expect, and in fact, if I’m right, you each toss back a shot, my treat. If you’re right, I’ll do two.” 

The music was a pounding pumping Latin influenced club mix. _Ignore the people staring. You know what you're doing._ The infectious rhythm, the thump of the base, it pulled at her soul. She knew what she wanted to do, but she was terrified to actually do it. Looking very much like a deer trapped in headlights with her large brown eyes, she hovered at the edge of the dance floor, frozen in place. 

Tom winked at her as he began to move his hips and feet to the beat. He motioned with his hand for her to join him. "Oh come on, you can't be that bad."

She giggled nervously. "I never said I was bad. At least I didn't used to be, I imagine I'm a touch rusty. I just have horrible stage fright." She moved towards him, her hips swaying to the music unconsciously, something which didn't go unnoticed by Tom, _She obviously has a natural rhythm._  "Being in a room full of industry professionals doesn't help."

"Ah." He understood stage fright though it surprised him that this woman with a very deliberate demeanor would suffer from that particular affliction. But he knew there was a marked difference between someone who's very social and someone who is a performer. He tried to reason with her. "The group we just left obviously loves you. And I'm not here to judge you and have no intention of throwing you under the bus." When she still didn't look convinced he said, "Ignore them. Ignore me. Ignore Richard. Close your eyes, it's just you and the music." Doing as he asked, she started bouncing lightly to the heavy beat. "There you go. When you're comfortable, open your eyes and then we'll have a little fun. And if that doesn't work we'll go back and get you pissed before we have another go at it." She opened her eyes and giggled, stopping for a moment, much more at ease. After regaining her composure, she closed her eyes again and resumed the little exercise.

It didn't take long as a smile bloomed across her face, a few beats later her eyes opened. Tom thought it was like watching someone press her "on" switch as her eyes seemed to glow with heat. With a toss of her hair, she was glancing over her shoulder. The remaining group witnessed the moment she sent a searing 'come hither' look to Richard before rolling her neck around until she was looking at the ceiling having thrown her shoulders back, followed by a full body roll and a hip pop. She held her sexy little pose, snaking her hands seductively up her body until the D.J dropped the base. Following that it was easy to settle into the rhythm of the music. A couple of beats later, she'd managed to match Tom's foot work step for step. There was a collective appreciate response from the crowd as a result.

 _Did it just get hot in here?_ He suddenly felt like his tie was strangling him. "Well fuck me..." was Richard's thunderstruck response much to Amanda's vast amusement.

As Richard loosened his tie, she said, "I guess I'll be right back." And she headed over to the bar where Martin was standing, speaking with Tilda.

Ben shook his head admitting defeat. 

 

 

Tom's brows rose in surprise. "You little minx, you!" He held out his hand. “How good are you at being led?”

“Try me.”

He tested her with an inside turn and then a cross-body lead to another turn. He smiled at her. “Very nice...Ready to show off a bit?" He moved her through a few more easy turns giving them a moment to adapt to each other's style. 

She grinned and nodded eagerly. There were whistles, howls and shouts coming from the rest of the party guests in the room as the pair let loose. 

So light on her feet, Stevie was the one of the most pliable, naturally sensuous dance partners he'd had in quite some time! And she smelled so good, like warm vanilla. That was when Tom realized the pitfalls of taking Richard's beautiful girlfriend to the dance floor. His attraction to her felt much like he was falling under some unavoidable spell. _You can never have her, Tom. Don't go there._

 

Richard glanced down at the shot glass, "Well, sometimes being wrong is fun. She's good." 

"Oh my god yes." Ben laughed, "On behalf of all of the single guys currently in this room...we all _really_ hate you right now." He and Richard raised their shot glasses together and tossed them back.

Shortly after, Richard cut in on Tom who then graciously bowed out, heading over to Ben. "Hello." Richard's smile was decadent as he gave her a quick little kiss. 

"Mmmm...I've been waiting for you. Is the dance floor warm enough now?"

"I think so." As the music changed and he took hold of Stevie's hand and settled into the new beat, changing styles a bit, noting Stevie's easy ball-change in order to adapt. "You're really good." 

She blushed, "Thanks." She was embarrassed by his praise knowing there were much better dancers out there. But as she knew he was an experienced dancer, she hoped he didn't mind dancing with her. Because of that, she was a bit uncertain and reserved. 

Looking confused and feeling a nasty little twinge of jealousy he said, "Now you're suddenly shy in a way you didn't seem to be with Tom." He couldn't keep the little bite out of his voice. 

 _Woah, where did that come from?_ "Well...It might be that I care a whole lot more about what you think of me than I do about what Tom thinks of me." 

He knew he was busted straight away judging from the look on her face. "Sorry." He sighed, "You just looked so...sexy dancing with him."

"Um...the actual normal dance moves are pretty sexy alone. But truthfully I've done a whole lot more blush-worthy things on a dance floor with the right partner." Her smile was 100% suggestive. "I was hoping you'd have some hot moves to show me...Unless you'd rather no--"

He gave her hand a tug, pulling her body against his, fixing a hot gaze on her. It thrilled him to feel her shiver, and in a dusky voice he said, "Oh I think I'd rather."

 

Tom was sipping on a bourbon while he watched Stevie with Richard. He could remember in vivid detail the way her taut back muscles moved under his touch, the satiny texture of her creamy skin as he slid his hands over the places that were exposed to him, how tiny her waist was as he'd held her there. He knew he'd only had a small taste of what it might be like to be with her as he watched Richard touch her in all of the same ways he had, but with the brevity of someone who knew every little secret of her perfect little body. Richard, the man who seemed perpetually single had obviously been meant to wait for Stevie. Richard was a good man, and he considered him lucky to call him a friend. The ugliness of jealousy towards Richard's good fortune shamed him."

Ben approached him. "Tom, don't go there."

"Oh for fuck sake, I'm not. I have some self control." 

"Yes but you get your heart broken more than any man I know." Ben placed a hand on his shoulder. "And I know you well enough to know that you regret touching her in the first place."

Tom's glare told Ben more than words would. "Please shut up, Ben."

"You're not the only one who envies what he as with her, you know." Ben turned his gaze back on the pair in question on the dance floor.

"She has no clue as to her effect on people around her either. It's hard to put the feeling in words. She's sweet, and giving and I honestly just wanted to help her get the nerve to dance. But they do say the road to hell is paved with good intentions." 

Ben knew exactly what his friend was talking about. "I've never seen him like this with anyone, you know? Anyhow, I try to take the fact that if such a woman exists for him it might just mean good fortune is in store for the rest of us someday."

"Well, It's a nice thought anyhow. Don't say anything to Richard, okay? I don't want to lose his friendship over something I'd never act on.""

 

 

It wasn't long before the dance floor had a small crowd, with Richard and Stevie somewhere in the middle, burning it up together. The night was spent drinking and dancing until there wasn't a fully sober person among them.

Martin and Amanda had gone home earlier, and the driver came back for Richard and Stevie as the party was starting to break up. As Richard climbed in after Stevie, she closed the privacy screen. When she turned to him she waited until he settled into his seat, before crawling up onto his lap to straddle him. Grinding herself into him, feeling his cock stiffening beheath her. In a breathy whisper she said, "I want you so much." His eyes instantly darkened as she pressed her soft, full lips to his, slanting her mouth over his, diving into his open mouth with her tongue. She was riding her buzz, enjoying the taste of alcohol in his mouth before she kissed his jaw seductively. Hands hastily unfastened shirt buttons, unzipped zippers, delightedly discovered belted stockings, and pushed pants and underpants out of the way before there was enough heated skin on skin contact to allow all manner of caresses, nibbles, nips and licks.

He'd been burning for her the entire evening with the recklessly suggestive way they danced together. His voice was thick with desire when he murmured, "You've been making me crazy all night." She rolled her head back as he blazed a scorching trail of open mouthed kisses down her neck to her breasts. Using his tongue to tease her, swirling it around the tight little point of her nipple. Every so often he barely grazed the sensitive tip and she would let out a ragged moan as she rocked her hips against him, pressing her wetness against him as hard as she could. "Seems like you want somthing, love."

"Please, that's soooo."

He brushed the tip of his tongue across her nipple with a feather light touch, causing her to whimper as the pleasure rocketed through her. He did it again and again until she was was sure she couldn't stand more. When he took the nipple into his mouth, suckling her hungrily he slid his fingers into her, using his thumb to skillfully massage her clit.

"Ungh! Richard, yes...oh god." She thrust her fingers into his hair as she vibrated with what felt like electric current shooting through her body as he relentlessly kept going until she was sobbing out his name repeatedly with her orgasm. 

She quickly recovered as she felt his cock stir beneath her, in his lap. "Are you okay? Can we...I need to be in you." His hands now were kneading the bared flesh of her ass. She reached in between them, taking his cock in her hand, she rubbed the head along her slit toward the opening, ready to guide him inside as she lowered herself onto him until he was all the way in. "Christ... you feel so good." He groaned. She started rocking her hips and raising and lowering herself in his lap, sliding herself up and down the length of him, with her breasts bouncing in his face. "Oh you're so sexy, so perfect...yes just like that..." Drunk Richard was much more vocal during sex. Drunk Stevie was a much louder moaner as she rode him, setting the perfect rhythm to give both of them the ride of their lives as the limo driver took them home. 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. When one door closes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and kind words. This has been a fun little journey. This next bit has a character that honestly is completely AU and made up as the information other wise is mostly conjecture with little supporting evidence. But I've been making the whole thing up as I go along anyways.
> 
> And of course, there's a bit of sex in there.

The sensuous caress of a soft pair of lips against his own and the sweet scent of vanilla whispering erotic promises were things Richard could not manage to form a single complaint about, regardless of the time of day. He brought his arms around her coaxing her mouth open with his own, so that his tongue could slide along hers, deepening the kiss. _Cinnamon..._  After several minutes of indulging himself, he realized she was fully dressed as his hands wandered her curves. Reluctantly he ended the kiss letting his eyes wander her face in their sleepy daze."You look and taste good enough to eat." He smiled, rubbing her bottom through the fabric of what he assumed was a dress. "What time is it?" His voice was rough with sleep. 

She smiled, "Half seven."

This bit of information caused him to groan. "What on earth are you doing awake at this ungodly hour, much less dressed?" And what devil did she sell her soul to in order to always be awake no matter what her condition was or what late hour it was she went to bed. Though his train of thought wandered away from that thought at the discovery of the shortness of her skirt when his hands found bare thighs shortly below her bum. "Mmmm though I think I have a new favorite dress on you." The hem line was quickly working its way up to her waistline with Richard's help.

Her laugh was musical. "Job interview? And I'm pretty sure nudity is generally frowned upon in..." She let out a yelp as he rolled her over him, onto her back, effectively pinning her beneath him. He was rock hard... _Oh my!_ "...that setting." She felt him tug her panties down and her eyes went wide. "Now? Jesus Christ..." bubbled out of her with a giggle.

"You keep calling me that. Name's Richard." With a wolfish grin, he parted her legs feeling rubbing the length of him along the dampening folds between her legs. Her brain and her body were telling different stories to her, obviously. "And yes now, since after you leave won't be nearly as fun. How much time have we got?"

The seemingly insatiable man between her legs was sleep rumpled and his sinfully gorgeous face had a shadow of scruff. There were literally thousands of women who would volunteer to slap her if she said no to that... _not that I would even if I could._ "Not..." She moaned as he buried his cock in her with one deliberate push with his hips. _Oh yes...just like that!_ "...much. I'll be...late." She gasped as he slid back and thrust again.

“You could always ask me to stop…”  _Though if you do I would likely beg..._

_Oh I love my life!_ "Not on your life. I'll take a..." She let out another gasp as he quickened his pace. "...taxi." 

 

 

Fresh from his shower, Richard was carefully inspecting the skin on his upper body in his bedroom mirror. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd had love bites. In spite of the fact that he was alone, the sheepish grin appeared as he shook his head. But there was no mistaking the purple little bruise-like marks on his collar bone and upper chest. It hadn't occurred to him until very recently that he’d been growing rather jaded. Stevie was everything he'd needed to reintroduce him to the fact that his life was by all measures truly incredible. He remembered her words, "Have fun in spite of yourself and you might be surprised how it changes things." Indeed. 

Finding the discarded dress he'd manage to render unsuitable so that she had to scramble to change clothes he had to chuckle at himself. It seemed that his girlfriend was more than capable of reducing him to nothing more than the sex crazed boy that was still inside of the man he'd become. _Oh, what Lee would say if he could see you now, Richard? You never stood a chance, did you?_  He knew exactly what Lee would say, " _I hate you."_

 

 

Across town, Stevie practically felt like running to the pub after the incredible interview she had. She felt her excitement building over the things that had occurred in her own life in the past few months. Michael's friend Don was welcoming and enthusiastic for her to start. _  
_

It was a magnificently sunny day and the little bite in the air suited her as she hugged her short little gray trench coat around her waist. Distracted, she hadn't noticed the men who approached her as she rounded the corner, a block from her destination off the underground exit.

"Excuse me miss, are you Stevie, that girl seen with Richard Armitage?" They were dressed casually in nondescript black sweatshirts, roughly about her age, not overly large but larger than she was by default.

She stopped abruptly as the other man pushed a camera in her face and took a photo. She blinked and backed up. "I'm sorry I don't know you and I would like you to please leave me alone." She was irritated by their presence but fought to remain polite.

Without touching her at first, the first guy stepped into her path. "Is it true you're almost 20 years younger than him? Can I see your tattoos?"

"I've got nothing to say to you, now I have things I need to do." As the second guy blocked her, she tried to sidestep him. A stab of panic shot through her. It wasn't a particularly busy street. 

"Come on, sweetheart, just a few questions." The first guy stepped in her way again this time putting a hand on her arm.

His next question was interrupted as he was suddently pulled forcibly away from Stevie and pinned against the brick wall next to them. 

A deep, angry voice said, "I believe the lady said please leave her alone. Go away before I have you arrested." He glared at them hard until they were well out of sight. Ben turned, "Are you alright?"

A wave of relief washed over her at the well timed coincidence. "Ben!" Stevie gasped. "Fuck I'm glad to see you."

Ben pulled her into a hug and was immediately angry that he could feel her trembling. "It's okay. I've got you." He looked down at her as she attempted to regain her composure. "Better?"

"Yeah...just felt a bit cornered. I'm not used to that I guess." She smiled in a way that didn’t reach her eyes.

"I think they approach women more than men, honestly. Where are you going? I can walk with you."

"I'm just meeting Richard at the pub down the way. Really you don't need to…"

He gave her a dry look, "Shut up and let me feel manly."

He was rewarded with a genuine grin. "Alright. Only if you let me buy the hero a lunch."

Linking his arm with hers he chuckled. "Are you asking me on a date, Ms. Goodwin?"

"Always, but only if I'm allowed to bring Richard." 

 

 

He had no sooner taken as seat at the pub before a familiar voice called his name. "Richard?"

Looking up he spied the pair of warm brown eyes and golden brown curtain of hair. "Annie." His smile was genuine as he rose to pull her into a warm hug. She was soft and warm as he remembered her to be. Everything about her was familiar. But there was something about the moment that was clearly different. That gut wrenching longing for her was gone. It had been replaced by the realization that there were things about his time with this woman he'd once loved beyond reason that were lacking. Not glaring things, it was if many of the details surrounding the things which had connected them were things that made them not actually fit together properly. He never felt quite secure with this woman and always felt that _he_ was lacking. He always felt that he was far too easily out of sight/out of mind with her, and that made impossible choices when it came to his love life and career constantly hanging in the balance. 

Love was such a funny thing. The kind of love they'd shared was never sustainable as their lives we never truly shared."You look lovely, how are you?"

She smiled broadly, "I'm good. I'm busy and the work's been steady. How about you? There's a lot of your face out there lately." 

Richard shrugged always a bit embarrassed by his recognition, "Such as it is. So are you still living in London then?"

She nodded. "Yes I am. You know me, I prefer it to chopping and changing all of the time. Though I think you've got it managed nicely, that is if you still have your flat in New York as well?."

_Oh you're still good at that aren't you?_ He thought as he rewarded her with an ironic half-smile for her cleverness. "Well I have a place to live in New York but not the same one you know. I'm living with someone actually..." Just as the conversation was beginning to feel the strain of awkward realities he caught sight of Stevie and Ben entering the Pub. "Well you'll have a chance to meet her, here she comes now." 

The former lover as friend watched Richard's face transform before her eyes as his gaze had cut to the doorway. Glancing over her shoulder at the object of his affection she saw Ben first and then the woman who was dwarfed by everyone in the room. She was petite, young and striking to look at. She didn't go unnoticed by many as she walked by unaware of the attention she drew with her. She'd never been more jealous of anyone in her entire life than she was at that moment. She wanted to hate this sweet faced, doe-eyed tart that took _her_ Richard away from her. Annie was glad for the moment of attention diverted away from her in order to reign in her thoughts.

As she  approached, the young woman's facial expression was that of mild alarm and her posture was tight. As she shifted her gaze back to Richard, he was clearly reading the same and a look of concern had settled across his features.

 

He swept Stevie into his arms, any awkardness was discarded in his need to know what had Stevie so upset. He could feel her trembling. "What's the matter, sweetheart?"

Ben's frown was dark. "She was accosted by some wannabe journalists." Ben turned to Annie and nodded, "Hello Annie."

Richard looked down into his girlfriend's eyes. And there was that devastating look of love for her again. "Are you alright?"

Stevie nodded. "I'm fine. I'm glad Ben happened to be there. I'm not used to being approached like that. I'm buying Ben lunch, if you don't mind if he joins us."

Richard grinned. "Oh by all means...And now that I have my manners back, love, this is Annie and old friend of mine...Annie, meet my girlfriend Stevie."

If Stevie was at all unhappy about the presence of the woman who was obviously the ex-girlfriend, it didn't show on her face or in her demeanor. Her smile was warm and broad as she offered her hand to the taller woman. "Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you, Annie."

The friendliness grated on Annie as she grasped the woman's small hand in hers. Richard's hand was on Stevie's waist. "Hello, the pleasure's mine, really."

Stevie wasn't sure what to make of this beautiful woman that Richard had once loved. Annie was polished sophisticated in a way that she herself would never be. Intimidated is a good word right about then. Stevie didn't lose her smile, however when she said, "Won't you join our little impromptu lunch party?" She asked as Richard held out her chair. "I know you were at LAMDA with Richard, I'm sure there are some embarrassing stories you could tell."

Annie was losing her emotional battle quickly. She had been ready to beg Richard to take her back. She couldn't handle another minute in the presence of her replacement. "Thank you, Stevie. But I really must be going, it was nice meeting you." She nodded at Ben who returned the courtesy. "Goodbye Richard."

All three of them watched the woman practically flee the building. Richard looked helpless for a split second as he watched her go and then back at Stevie.

"What? I know it's in your nature to make sure she's okay. And it's clear she had more to say to you that she'd rather not say with me around." She rubbed the back of his hand. "Go on, Ben will keep me company for a bit while you sort "

Richard kissed her, "Thank you. I'll not be long."

Ben watched as Richard ran after his ex-girlfriend before staring at Stevie. "You're the most unusual woman I've ever met."

"Why? Because I know her use of that dramatic exit was to manipulate the situation so that Richard would be inclined to follow her?" Stevie picked up a menu. "He's not stupid, he knows it as well."

Ben's look of shock made her smile. "Okay so you let him go...and you're not jealous."

"I didn't say I'm not jealous." Stevie's eyes met Ben's.

"Then why..."

"You know that quote...'If you love someone, set them free...'"

Ben's eyebrows rose with recognition, "Yes how does that go...'If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.'"

"Yes that's the one. I suspect that she was learning to rely on the fact that Richard  seemed chronically single a little too much while she figured out her own priorities figuring he'd always be back."

"Ah...So a test?"

She folded her hands in her lap. "Yes and no. Not the way you mean anyhow. I'm not into tossing ACME portable holes out there for Richard to fall into..."

Ben chuckled at the image.

"But still it's not as if many men get a side by side comparison of the women that hold most significance in life. I actually have some faith in the fact that Richard truly loves me. Either he was never meant to be hers or he was never really meant to be mine." The thought of losing him made her a bit uneasy in any case. "I honestly don't know what he sees in me compared to her."

Ben placed his hand on her shoulder. His voice was gentle. "It's obvious to everyone who knows Richard and you."

 

 

Richard ran around the corner to see Annie leaning against a wall a little bit out of the way. "Annie?"

There were tears streaming down her face that she immediately began to wipe away. "Richard, what are you doing here?"

He sighed, looking annoyed. "Please don't play games with me. We both know each other too well."

"You're right. I'm sorry." She sighed. "I didn't think she'd let you honestly. I just wanted...I don't know...I guess  a moment alone with you."

"Yeah well she was aware of that." Richard raked his fingers through his hair. "She sent me out here. I nearly didn't take the bait."

Annie smiled humorlessly. "Well then she's a better woman than me. Better for you in a lot of ways I imagine."

He didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to make her feel better somehow but at the same time he didn't want to lead her on. "What do you want me to say? She an I make it work in a way you and I never could. I've moved on. I love her. I think she's it for me."

_Ouch_. She shook her head and glanced at him sideways as he had stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I know. It was written all over your face when you saw her walk into the pub. It was a look that I'd never seen on your face before. Definitely not for me. People are saying she's your answer to the proverbial sports car, you know?"

Anger sizzled a bit in his eyes over that remark, though not necessarily at the woman in front of him for saying it. "Yes I'm aware. I'm through justifying her to everybody, not even for your benefit."

"Oh Richard, I saw the two of you together just now. No explanation is needed." There was genuine softness in her voice. "Anyhow, for what it's worth, if someone says anything to me about it, I'll set them straight when necessary."

"Thanks for that." For a moment he had a glimpse at the woman he fell in love with. "Are you alright?"

"Mostly yes. At least I know why I haven't heard from you in months. I'm just mourning the loss of the friendship we had."

Richard started to deny it when she interrupted. "You have a few things to learn about women yet. That sweet young woman may be gracious enough to be kind to me out of respect for what you and I once had, out of respect for what you and she have I have no business being in your life the way I was."

He knew she was right. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She's good for you. My love for you isn't one hundred percent selfish you know? Just be happy, and that will be enough for me."

 

 

As Richard entered the pub again, his gaze was directed at Stevie, whose hands were beneath the table, no doubt clenched with a tension she refused to show the room. He eyes had told him she knew exactly what Annie had been up to by storming out the way she did. The faith she showed in him by allowing him to follow was something that words alone could not have demonstrated so completely.

He sat beside her and drew her into his side with his arm, whispering. "Thank you." As Ben placed his order with the waitress.

"She needed closure, and so did you. I love you."

"I love you too." Sliding his fingers through her silkly hair he kissed her temple before she gave her order.  _Thank you, my love, for paying attention._

 

 

later that night...

 

The only thing sexier than a shirtless man wearing a pair of faded jeans in bare feet was Richard Armitage being the shirtless man wearing faded jeans in bare feet. She brought the bottle of wine and two glasses to the bedroom while he was reading something on his iPad, while lounging back against a mass of pillows. Then he sat up when he noticed her and the muscles of his upper body responded with the movement. When he flashed her that crooked grin of his, it instantly scrambled her brains. _Oh my god this never gets old…_

He took the glass from her and held hers until she sat beside him, then sliding his free arm around her waist, pulling her into him. When she noticed the marks on him she gasped, "Jesus Christ! Did I do that to you?" A blush rose to her face. _I fucking gave Richard Armitage a hickey...scratch that...THREE of them. Way to be classy, Stevie._ A blush crept up her neck to her face. She took a sip from her glass and had him set hers down next to his.

"Yes that was the name you used this morning, but Richard's just fine, really." She was actually embarrassed. How cute! "As far as the predatory love marks go, since I don't remember anyone else with us last night in that limo, you're the primary suspect I'm afraid."

"I'm sorry!" She said, laying her head on him.

She could feel his chuckle rumble through him. "No worries, they'll be gone before it would actually matter. You just can't control yourself around me, I completely understand."

She knew he was grinning. She liked his flirty side as it indicated that he was truly relaxed, and it held a level of intimacy that boosted her confidence in the relationship she had with him. "That's not far from the truth, actually." She ran her hand over his chest as she kissed his shoulder drinking in the ever-present scent of soap and aftershave she associated with him. His light sprinkling of chest hair delighted her. "For this show...are they making you shave your chest?" She wrinkled her nose.

His brows rose, "I didn't know you had a preference. I really don't know. I don't think they did that in the 1600s." Kissing her temple, he rubbed her back affectionately. He could be content with her just like that, curled into him. He appreciated her inclination to give and take affection whenever there was an opportunity.

"Oh I don't know. I'm not going to throw you out of bed if it turns up missing." She grinned.

"Oh well that's a relief."

"I don't necessarily have a preference...Well I do actually. Groomed. Manscaping was one of the best additions to masculine hygiene ever. The 70s porn star look...oof." She made a face that caused him to laugh. "I can't understand why women ever thought that was sexy. I mean men generally take for granted that women take care of themselves. But even some very famously sexy men don't take initiative and I have on occasion had to practically mow their body hair down before they're ready to be shot without a shirt on."

That hadn't even occurred to him. "You've had to shave men's chests? I can't even imagine doing that job."

"Trim and shave. Chests, shoulders, backs...and..." She slid her finger along the inside of where his waist band of his jeans gapped a bit. "sometimes here."

She watched Richard's brows knit as a frown settled on his face. "Anyone I know?"

"Richard...you know I don't talk--"

Holding up his hand he nodded. "No that was a dumb question. In fact I'd rather not know, to be honest." He rubbed on his jaw considering that bit of information, attempting to be reasonable as he could vividly picture something like that.

"It's not like I go all the way down there. I make them keep their junk covered."

The anecdote should have been somewhat funny. Clearly, it was one of those 'laugh or cry' parts of the job to her. He hated how easily he got jealous where Stevie was concerned. He considered that particular emotion one of the ugliest of all of them and frankly he'd had enough of that floating around at lunch to last him a lifetime. He was certain he didn't want to know the answer to his next question, but the need to ask made him twitchy. "Do they ever get aroused?" She read him like a book even on her worst days. He knew he'd completely failed at his attempt to sound nonchalant when her shrewd gaze met his.

Tilting her head to the side, she worried her lip. "It's always a possibility. I mean...would you be completely immune? And when it happens, it's awkward and embarrassing...not so much a turn on for me."

Sighing, he leaned his forehead on hers. "Point taken. Sorry."

Reaching her hand up, she laid it alongside his lean face. "Don’t be. Feelings are important business. You didn’t do anything but ask questions.” She winked, “And make those sexy frowny eyes.”

His eyebrows rose. “Frowny eyes?”

She attempted to mirror his scowl. "Like this..."

"Yeah you're very funny." He said in annoyance.

He hadn't realized he was frowning again until she purred. "Mhmm…Yeah like that."

"I'll show you frowny eyes." With that he grabbed her around the waist tickling her ribs. She kicked her feet as she let out a shriek.

"No! I'm not ticklish!"

Rolling onto her so that she was pinned beneath him he gave her a wolfish grin. "It's a sin to lie, you know."

"So is pre-marital sex but you don't seem to have minded repeating that one."

"Oh well you have a point there..." Propped up on his left arm, his right hand slid up inside her shirt to fondle her breast. "Speaking of which...since we're going to hell anyhow..."


	14. Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short-ish chapter (sorry about that) but an important one for the characters.  
> I will warn you that there's talk of self harm and domestic violence. Please use caution if those things are sensitive subjects for you. 
> 
> Thank you again for the Kudos! I hope you're enjoying my mushy, dramatic little story.

Shortly before they left for New York, Richard indulged Stevie's request for a short trip to Edinburgh to visit Gemma. While they were on their flight north, Stevie had filled him in on what she'd learned from the girl's mother about her. Apparently, Gemma was a girl who was struggling with some serious demons haunting her mind, and the divorce was very hard on her. On top of things, she was a bit of a square peg at her school and children are often particularly nasty. She suffered massively from depression and anxiety and had even attempted suicide at age thirteen. As much as the mother and therapists try help to Gemma, there were still things within her that were kept locked up tightly.

The evening at the Premiere seemed to be a dramatic turning point for Gemma. Suddenly the girl was motivated to make some positive changes. Thrilled that Richard and Stevie were going to go out of their way to visit with her daughter, Danielle invited them to dinner.

As the taxi took them from their hotel to dinner, Stevie turned to Richard. "You're such a good person, you know that, right?"

Blinking with a bit of confusion over what had seemed to be a random compliment he responded, "What makes you say that?"

"Seriously? You're hella busy and you flew to Edinburgh for dinner with a young fan's family."

"Hella busy?" His eyes warmed.

She batted at his shoulder. "Yes, hella. I AM speaking English."

He laughed. "You can beat me all you want, but that's _American_." He clasped her hand out of self preservation and kissed it. "God save us all if the Queen ever says the word 'hella.' It would mark the imminent demise of the British Empire." Then he added, "But might I remind you that this little side trip was your idea. Even my meeting her in the first place was your doing. I would have completely missed her in that crush of people. You gave up your ticket for her. And and even let me take the bow for it. So I think you get credit for the goodness this time at the very least."

She shook her head. "Yes and I figured out that I was actually useful as an extra pair of eyes. I know you, how you'd respond  to me pointing her out, because you care about people. Fame has opened the doors to some extraordinary opportunities but you don't ever forget that without people who show up and buy tickets and scream at you in crowds, you wouldn't have that. People see that in you."

Deeply moved by her words he actually blushed as he turned his gaze to his lap. "Wow, I'm all that am I? Though you might be biased."

"Not for this. I was once just a fan, a face in the crowd. And I knew it before I loved you. I suspected it before I met you, some things can't be faked even by phenomenal actors. But the first time you ever looked at me, before you even spoke, I knew it."

He was nearly choked up at her words. Knowing that they were sincere, they shook him to his core. Having no idea what to say, he gathered her into his arms and held her tightly. Burying his face in the silkiness of her hair, his heart spilled over with an overwhelming abundance of emotion that went far beyond the love he'd ever felt for anyone else in his life. _If it's not you. sweetheart, it's no one else either..._

The adults had kept it a surprise so that Richard and Stevie were grinning when Gemma opened the door to them.

"Hello, Gemma." Richard said charmingly.

The purple-haired girl's eyes went wide as she gasped. "Well fuck me...it's you again!" Realizing that she'd said that out loud she clapped her hand over her mouth, turning red. "Oh my god...sorry...I'm just...you're actually HERE at my house! And you remember my name!” Gemma was bobbing back and forth between feet in her excitement.

Stifling a grin over Gemma's honest reaction, Richard noticed that she was wearing her nails polished black, which was a change from the other night when she wore none.

Danielle was mortified as she hissed out. “Gemma! I didn’t raise you to have that mouth. Lord help me try to at least pretend I'm a proper parent." Danielle was wiping her hands on a dish towel before she finally said. "Well don't just leave them standing there..."

Gemma startled out of her surprised stupor said. "Oh yeah...sorry. Please come in...I promise my mum didn't raise me badly."

Chuckling, Richard shook his head. "Please, in my job I can assure you I've heard and even said much worse."

Stevie tried to divert Danielle from her embarrassment by adding, "Same here. My mum was thoroughly ashamed of my mouth at your age too, Gemma. Still is when it slips out." As she looked around while Danielle took their coats she said. "Your home is lovely!"

And it really was. The walls were sunny and painted a butter cream color. The furnishings weren't new but very well taken care of. It reminded her a lot of where she grew up. There were photos of Gemma at various ages, who was clearly a natural redhead, and also of another little ginger of girl who took that moment to come bouncing down the stairs. She was much like Gemma in appearance and must have been eleven or twelve based on the coltish lankiness of her frame.

"Oh! Hello! Name’s Tess...Hey! You're that guy...well actually literally Guy...in my living room." The girl was obviously amused with herself as she giggled at her own words.

"Oh my god!" Gemma gasped and was obviously embarrassed by her sister when she rebuked her. "Don't be stupid, Tess, literally he's Richard. He played Guy. He's a person you know, with a job just like mum and doesn’t need you all up in his face."

To Richard and Stevie, it was as if a small thunderstorm had materialized between the girls. 

The younger girl made a face at her sister. "I KNOW that. Don't call me stupid. I was just sayin' I recognized him.” Tess took on a mocking tone. “You don't have to be all posh now that you're friends with famous people."

"Shut up Tess."

"Mum!" The word was two syllables as it came out of Tess's mouth.

"Oh sure...tell on me like you always do you little pain in the arse."

"I can hear both of you just fine. As I'm sure the neighbors can as well." Danielle turned to both of them. "Seriouly? You're doing this right now? Neither one of you are impressing anyone with that sort of behavior. Ten minutes in your rooms."

"Now? But we have guests." Gemma looked thoroughly outraged.

"You saw fit to behave poorly in front of the same guests. Go." Stevie had to bow her head over the stomping up the stairs that happened at that moment to hide her amusement. Danielle turned to the two of them. "I'm so sorry about that. I swear they're usually good kids and I'm not that terrible of a mother."

Richard's easy, understanding smile relaxed the mother a bit as he said, "I have a brother. I understand completely."

"Same here, though I was so much younger than my brothers and got away with far too much I'm ashamed to admit." Stevie took a seat following Danielle's gesture towards the sofa. "Thank you."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Richard's cheeky grin had both women laughing. "I was the younger one too. But old enough that my mum tried to let us sort it. That is until we started punching eachother."

"Yeah my brothers would have awful brawls."

"Well I can take comfort in the fact that they're girls then? Can I offer you a drink? Beer, wine...bottle of whiskey...I mean I have tea or juice as well but I think I need something stronger."

"Funny, my mother said the same thing quite often." Stevie giggled. It was a welcome respite following the intensity of typical sibling rivalry to have a few minutes to chat with Danielle.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm glad I have them, and that they have eachother. The law firm that I work at sees the ugliest things between people. And the worst of it is often between close family members. But I'm lucky I have my brother and he's been so good to me and my kids."

Richard felt such warmth from this mother who can't have had it easy. But she didn't pity herself and she did very well for her children. The strength in her was very obvious. "It seems you'd do no less for him, unless I've misjudged you."

The woman blushed over the compliment. "Oh well...thank you. That's very nice of you to say." She swirled her wine glass. "I have to say. You're very normal. That sounds bad. But I didn't know what to expect when you came to be quite honest."

"No, it doesn't sound bad." His crooked smile appeared, which made Stevie grin as it was clear that the woman was not immune to his natural charm."It's only been in the past couple of years that my life had become more like it is now. But ask Stevie, I'm very much a boring, normal bloke with a very public job."

He patted Stevie's knee affectionately, causing Danielle to sigh inwardly at the obvious love between the couple. The way he looked at her made her shiver. _Oh if such a man would just look at me that way..._ She envied them.

Once the rather contrite sisters rejoined the group and were made to apologize to their guests the evening mostly consisted of  a delightful exchange of happy chatter and anecdotes. Stevie watched as Richard had taken genuine interest in what the girl had to say. He was relaxed and thoroughly enjoying the simple evening meal with the lovely family. Gemma was rewarded some alone time with her special friends after supper. During that time, both Richard and Stevie felt that the girl had worked her way into their hearts. At the end of the night, hugs were exchanged. Gemma had tears, and both Stevie and Richard promised that they'd get together as soon as possible.

 

 

 

A thoughtful Richard joined Stevie in the taxi back to the hotel. Something was eating at him, something he couldn’t quite put a name to. It had happened while the two of them were alone with Gemma when the girl had revealed some of the darkness that had been eating at her. Dinner was lively, and fun. It was people like Gemma that made Richard passionate about the Young Minds program, knowing there were many others out there that didn't have the undying support of a mother such as Danielle was. She was a bright girl, beautiful, with so much potential. It fascinated him to watch Stevie with her. As if he needed further proof of her natural goodness, Gemma opened up to her, and Stevie shared some of herself in return.  All of it was good. Even Gemma's awful secrets did not detract from the value of the newly forhe'd friendships that night. If anything the fact that the girl had trusted them with some very private pain was remarkable. But something felt wrong.

_Gemma had turned to Stevie and asked about her tattoos. What they meant, which ones came first. "Do tattoos cover scars?"_

_"Actually that's one of the many reasons people get tattoos. Scars can be ugly, but tattoos turn that space into something beautiful instead." Stevie had said softly._

_Gemma swallowed as she turned her burning face to her lap as she whispered, “Can I tell you a secret?”_

_"You can tell us if you're comfortable." Stevie replied._

_Gemma rolled back the sleeves of her shirt to reveal a long series of thin scars. They looked as if she'd meticulously, rhythmically carved into her skin. Some were old, some were much more recently done but none were fresh. "I haven't done it in a while now. But I started when Dad was hitting mum. I've never told her why and I won't. She doesn't understand why I could hurt myself that way. I never understood how she could let him hurt her the way he did." At that point, Gemma wiped at her eyes a bit, and rolled her sleeve back down. "She could have left sooner and she didn't."_

_"I don't know how it was for your mum. But I do know a little about that. Well, it's hard to explain when someone who is supposed to love you hurts you instead. It gets difficult to separate the need to be loved from the pain you're given in its place...It's like poison that slowly takes hold, because you don't notice it at first. And by the time you do, you feel you somehow deserved it. At least that's how it was for me before I got the strength to leave my ex-husband." She felt Richard's posture stiffen as Gemma's surprised expression met Stevie's solemn one._

_"You? But you're so strong and happy." She smiled at the girl._

_"Life is a journey. I wasn't always happy, but the tough times helped me realize I was strong. And that road did lead me to a place where I could be happy too. Part of it letting others help you take the first scary steps."_

It was rare that Stevie talked about her marriage at all. He'd never actually had confirmation that his worst fears about her marriage were true. It was all he could do to not get visibly angry at her ex-husband  the moment she'd referred to herself as having been his victem. He hadn't wanted to hurt her by bringing it up. He figured she would talk to him about it when she was ready to share that part of her life with him. But when she did, it wasn't for him. She had let Gemma in to a place where it was clear that he alone wasn't entirely welcome. The stab of pain at that realization put words to his negative feelings.  _Why doesn't she trust me?_

 

 

 

Stevie knew there was something wrong. The air was thick with Richard's emotions. In the taxi she wondered if the weight of Gemma's problems had bothered him. But as he was actively avoiding looking at her, she knew she was to blame. She sat in the middle of the bed, wearing nothing but her t-shirt and underwear as she watched him remove his clothes silently, with tension in every movement. "Richard?”

He turned, as he finished folding his shirt over the back of a chair, before sitting on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes and socks. “Hmm?” His expression was guarded.

 _I've hurt him somehow._ The thought of that made her stomach sink. “Please say something.”

“Frankly I don’t really know what to say.” His voice came out sounding harsher than he’d intended. When he saw her wince a little, he regretted it. “You've got this way about you that makes it look like you'e all out there an open. You act like you have no dark places. But you just hide them and guard them fiercely behind doors where I'm not welcome. You know I might be a moody bastard sometimes but at least I'm honest about my feelings with you." She flinched again but didn't look away from him, letting him have a go at her regardless of how it hurt her to hear the words. It was admirable and maddening at the same time. "How did you expect me to feel when you selectively open up to people in general and I'm the last person on earth you…I just want to know why you didn't trust me enough to tell me that your ex-husband...hurt you that way.” He couldn't even say the words out loud.

Her face dropped. “It wasn’t about trust.”

Richard’s eyes reflected the pain he felt. His voice sounded as though he was strangling on temper as a result. “Oh, isn’t it? The only thing I’ve ever known about your marriage to Casey I’ve ‘overheard'...including his fucking name! But you were somehow much more comfortable discussing it with Gemma."

“You don’t understand!” Cried Stevie, feeling her blood run cold, knowing she’d hurt him, and knowing he was right to feel the way he did. Though it wasn't a lack of honesty about her feelings that motivated her to guard herself this way. She didn’t know how to fix this.

“THEN HELP ME UNDERSTAND!” He was still angry but there was desperation in his tone as well. "Unless you think I'm either too STUPID OR UNCARING--" His efforts to not yell were lost in the swell of emotions.

She interrupted him. "--STOP IT! PLEASE!" Caught up in the crackling anger between them, she scrambled off the bed and turned away. She took a moment to lower her voice before facing him again. "Please stop. I know you're angry with me. But those accusations are really unfair. I've never once said I thought either of those things about you. Quite the contrary."

His voice was still harsh but he at least didn't yell when he said, "Then what possible reason--"

"Because I'm ashamed god dammit!" She'd interrupted him again.

If there had been anything she could have said or done to completely deflate his anger, it was that, and the tears that spilled down her cheeks immediately following that.

"I'm so sorry. But I was too ashamed to tell you. It has never been because I don't trust you and that I wouldn’t tell you anything you might possibly want to know about it or anything else regarding who or what I am. It's more that I didn't know a way to bring something like that up. ‘Hi I was once a battered wife.’ It’s a tough thing to admit on a good day.”

Looking away then, she played with the hem of her t-shirt. “I’ve let go of the fear. But the shame…that one’s hard to shake. Gemma...she'd brought the subject up and didn't understand her mother. That's why I told her. She's been in it...has seen it...She likely watched how her mother claimed to the world that she was so clumsy sometimes...listened as she told the police everything's fine that it was just a little argument when the neighbors could hear it...witnessed the numerous excuses using words like 'bad day' and 'under a lot of pressure' as she spat blood from her mouth as if anything at all justified having been backhanded again...throwing him out on his ass over and over again until she finally stopped buying the bullshit, hat-in-his-hands apologies and taking him back." She was lost in the memory then. "Stitches, ice packs, aspirin and the occasional arm sling were just normal life. He had to cheat on me...multiple times before I actually had the guts to walk away." She took a long breath. "Richard, I'm so sorry I hurt you. You have no idea. But I admit part of me just wanted you to not be able to 'see' the broken, pathetic and weak person I was when I was Casey's wife. But if you had asked me, I would have told you whatever you wanted to know."

If he thought it was hard to listen to Gemma's dark little confession, this was one hundred percent worse. He knew she'd just described her life with her ex. Reaching for her he took her hand and tugged on it getting her to get close enough to gather her into his arms. His mouth was set in a grim line as she finally dared to meet his gaze. His voice was a soft rumble when he finally said, “I understand. And I'm sorry too. I think some of my temper should be directed at the man who dared lay his hands on you like that."

While she felt much better, it still hurt her to think that he felt that she was being dishonest somehow about who she was. She kissed his cheek softly before she pulled out of his arms, needing the physical distance in order for her to focus on saying what she needed to say. It wasn't the first time he'd hit her over the head with that accusation.

He felt the change in the atmosphere and he followed her with his eyes as she slid off the bed and wandered over to the dresser in front of them, picking up a brush. She started running it through her hair. He knew she did something such as this when she needed to sort out something important. He knew he'd found a land mine earlier. "I'm sorry I yelled at you before. I said things..."

She shook her head. "Please, before you apologize, I'd like to say something, if you don't mind."

 _Definitely a landmine_...but if she willingly faced the barrage of accusations earlier and let him take his pound of flesh, he owed her the same respect. "No, I don't mind."

Finally she turned to him, pausing with the brush. "It's about what you said...about being honest about moods and feelings and the like."

She sit back on the bed beside him, setting the brush down as she reached for his hand. Even during conflict, she was prone to reassuring him of her love. He brought her hand to his lips in return but waited for her to continue.

"I've spent a good long time following my divorce in therapy until my move to New York. Something you don't know about me, actually." She caught his smile over the volunteered bit of information. "In that time I've become fairly self-aware, not faultlessly so, but I know what I want. I know what I like. I know what is important to me. And I'm fairly driven." She met his watchful gaze, "Would you consider me a happy person?"

"Yes. It's magnetic. I admire that in you, you know?"

She blushed, "I admire them in you as well. I see all of those things in you. Not the therapy part...I don't put up with bullshit if I don't have to, I don't play games with people, I don't enjoy talking about myself unless it has to do with work and I don't enjoy pointless whinging, as my dad would put it. I think we're also fairly alike that way too." He shared her smile again in agreement. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you have a temper with hair trigger."

"Oh I know this." His eyes were kind, his expression earnest as he nodded.

"You also control it better than you think."

He gave her hand a squeeze. "Even after tonight?"

"Yes even after tonight. I know there are many other times you stop yourself from yelling. You are much more prone to voicing what you feel the moment you feel it. That's just how you are. And I understand that and even admire that in you." She took a breath. "But, I'm not comfortable doing that. And that's how I am. And while I can understand that this difference might make you uneasy, you are always welcome to ask me how I feel. And I will honestly tell you."

Ah there it is. "And I've implied otherwise, more than once now." He thought back to the night of the premiere of Ben's movie.

"Yes, you have."

"I'm sorry, love. I can't promise I won't bollocks it up again but I promise to try to remember that."

"That's all I ask. I love you."

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly, cupping her face with his hand. "I love you too."

"So was that our first actual fight?"

He took a moment to think about it. "Yes, I suppose so, such as it was." He chuckled. "You're much more mature than I am in the heat of it."

She shook her head. "Personality differences, not maturity differences." Turning in his arms, she kissed his chin. "You know what that means, don't you? The first argument part, that is." She crossed her arms in front of her and lifted her shirt over her head.

Now that she was in his arms in nothing but her kickers, he had a difficult time remembering the conversation. "Um...That every time we argue you'll show me my favorite pair of breasts in the world?" He slid his hands up her rib cage to cup them, lazily playing with her nipples with his thumbs. "Because I might sign up for that."

She shivered at his touch. "Close. We get to have our first make up sex."

His eyes flickered with desire. "You have a good point." He released her breasts and pressed his mouth to hers pushing her softly back onto the mattress, covering her body with his.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. The Road to this Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naughty naughty, NSFW... I was nervous writing this bit. I hope it suits.

Richard was intensely glad that he had work to keep him busy or he would go mad with the realization that home was rapidly becoming less about where he lived and more about who he was with. Wherever Stevie was, he was home. Anything else was beginning to feel empty. It had been a few short months since the day his hairdresser apparently had lost his marbles and quit his job without warning. That was the day his rock 'n' roll pixie's heels clicked their way around the corner. He remembered every minute detail of the moment he'd laid eyes on her. There was her hesitant smile with her determined sense of professionalism. Her offered hand as she'd greeted him was tiny, but the grasp had been confident as her doe-eyed gaze met his.

Ever since the intoxicating scent of warm vanilla mingled with the promise of spicy, cinnamon kisses his life would be turned on its end by a woman who was desperately trying not to disrupt his life. It had happened so fast he could almost feel the continued vibrations of the proverbial frying pan blow to the head he'd received. Whatever came of them as they went forward, the impact on his life was irreversable. Remembering the words he'd said out loud for the first time ever, given as definitive closure to Annie, "I've moved on. I love her. I think she's it for me."

Ben chuckled, "Earth to Richard?"

Martin shook his head, "No use with that one. He's been moping around since Stevie left."

Frowning, Richard picked up his glass of wine. "I don't mope."

"Yeah Ben, he smoulders, he broods." Amanda's eyes danced with humor as she'd purposely deepened her voice.

"What's the difference?" Ben furrowed his brows.

"Sex." Amanda laughed. Catching Richard's dark glare she rolled her eyes. "Don't look at me like that, Richard, it doesn't work. Martin has a glare that could melt the tarnish off my silver. You brood and you know it and women go wild about it, John Thornton...All we need to get you is a phonebook and look out for knicker's everywhere."

"Fuck me, she told you about the Phonebook List did she?" Richard groaned, taking a generous drink of the wine in front of him.

"Oh baby, she sure did. Your girlfriend is one in a million but she does still engage in girl talk."

"Phone book list?" It was Martin's turn to be confused.

When Amanda looked to Richard, he said dryly, "You'd better tell it or Ben will accuse me of bragging. Besides I can see you're bursting to anyhow."

Warming to the story Amanda leaned forward conspiratorily. "Right...Well Stevie told me that after she'd met Richard, that she and that gorgeous friend of hers made a list of British men who had so much sex appeal in their voice that they could read the phonebook and melt the knickers off of women."

Martin turned to Amanda, "Our sweet little Stevie? Let me guess, Richard is number one?"

"Well look at you, the next Sherlock." Ben chuckled. "She's biased...So does it work, Rich?"

"You're funny. By the way you're number two on that list, don't get any ideas with my woman."

Ben about spit out his beer at that while he laughed. "Do we know the rest of the list?"

Richard shook his head, "No I don't anyhow, though I expect that Colin Firth made the cut somewhere. She owns every single damn movie he's in."

"Really? She sort of does like them broody doesn't she? Yeah he's in there number five I think." Amanda smuggly said, "Hiddleston is number three, um...Kenneth Branagh is four...Patrick Stewart...Matthew McFayden...and Alan Rickman...Clive Owen, he's a nice one to that list..."

"Tom is three?" Amanda noticed the note in Richard's voice.

"Don't get all jealous, love. She only has eyes for you."

"Oh I know. The distance thing is killing me. It doesn't help that she works on photo shoots nearly exclusively with men. Though I guess Tilda's insisting she be in on the one for Harper's next month. The weekend she's with 30 Seconds to Mars in Paris."

"Oh my god Jared and Shannon Leto?" Amanda purred. "I'm needing to visit my friend in Paris, Martin, if that's alright?" She noted Richard's uneasy expression and frowned. "Richard, you trust her don't you?"

"Yes. I do, honestly. Just I feel dull by comparisson to some of  people she's meeting."

"Sweetheart, you're not dull. She sure as hell doesn't think so. If it makes you feel any better she thinks she's not sophisticated enough for you sometimes."

"Thanks, I know I just need to relax. I'm hoping this gets easier or I'm fucked."

"It does and it doesn't." Martin patted his partner's hand. "Knocking mine up helped. Makes you glad for a break from them once and awhile during that time...OW!" Martin winced, earning a punch. "Or you could marry her 

"I don't think Stevie would appreciate it if I hid her birth control. I don't even know if she wants kids...I don't know if she wants marriage either."

Amanda met Richard's gaze. "I know the answer to both, Richard. But that's a conversation you two need to have. I will tell you she bases things like that on who she's with, not who she was with before."

 

 

 

Richard sleepily bobbled the chirping phone in his hands as he answered. "Hello gorgeous..." The doubts earlier that day were washed away with her name popping up on his screen.

She recognized sleep in his voice. "Oh, I woke you up. Dammit. I got home late, I'm sorry."

"No! Don't ever be sorry for calling." He propped his pillows against his headboard and sat up a little. "Are you home now?"

"Yeah, I just got in. It was a long day at work." Hearing his voice sharpened her longing for him. Phone calls were a pale substitute for personal contact. She swallowed back a sob. "Fuck I miss you."

His heart squeezed, hearing the tears thicken her voice. "Oh sweetheart I miss you...you have no idea how much. Don't cry, I don't think I could stand it." He ran a hand down over the front of him as he witnessed evidence of her affect on him. 

"Three more days. I'm flying in from Paris at around eleven on Monday night. There's no way I can get there sooner. I'm sorry."

He knew. He wished she would be, it would be his first reading of emotionally destructive Act 4. "I know you'd be here if you could be. The fact that you'll be there that day at all will be enough. I don't know if the rest of me could wait a day longer for you..."

"Oh, you miss me THAT way, do you?" Her voice was a seductive purr as she said. "Let me put you on speaker phone while I take off my clothes then."

He groaned, "You're a horrible naughty tease." He knew that he'd have to take care of his frustration if he wanted to go back to sleep. The act felt more and more like a task now that he was used to Stevie's supple, willing body warming his bed. He imagined her in front of him, licking her lips as she watched, while he slid his hard cock out for his hand to grasp. He put her on speaker phone as well.

She giggled. "Are you wearing anything?"

He grinned, "Just boxers."

She purred into the phone, "Nice. Are you getting hard?"

"I was nearly there the moment I heard your voice, love."

She bit her lip for a moment before saying, "Oh? Well then, help me get undressed." Her voice was thick with meaning. Her heart was pounding over her boldness as she shyly whispered. "Tell me what you want me to do..." _Please don't let him think it's stupid..._

 _Oh now this I didn't expect!_ "My...aren't you full of surprises..." _Perhaps wanking wouldn't be so bad tonight_ , he thought as he gave himself a tug. "Tell me what you're wearing...

"A blouse. The sheer black one with the french cuffs. And my red jeans."

Picturing that, he let out a naughty chuckle. "I love those jeans and how they look on your bum." He said with his voice a seductive rumble. "Stand in front of your mirror for me and undo those buttons for me."

She felt a tingle over the suggestion. "Okay." She didn't know why her fingers shook. He couldn't see her.

"Tell me what I would see underneath as you part the material and let your blouse slide from your shoulders."

"Goosebumps on my skin...black lace shelf bra...y-you can see my hard nipples through the material."

"I know that bra. You know what I like about it?"

She giggled, "Easy access?"

"Yes, push the cups down just enough so that those nipples come out, and touch them for me."

"Okay Richard, how do you want me to touch them?" Her voice shivered, he knew she was touching herself.

"Please pinch them...do it a little bit hard." Her sharp intake of breath made him bite down on his own lip.

"I wish it was you pinching them."

"You like it when I touch you?" He sounded a bit cocky.

"Y-yes. I love it when you touch me. Are you stroking yourself?"

"Stroking what? I want to hear you say it."

"Your cock, are you stroking it?"

"Oh yes." He pumped slowly so as not to cum to fast. This was far more fun than he'd anticipated. "Take you jeans off for me? And then lay on the bed, On my pillow."

"Okay." She did as he asked. "I wish my mouth was where your hand was. I love the taste of you."

He was unbelievably aroused by her words. "I like it when you use your lovely mouth on me. You're so good at it." He heard a little gasp from her. "What are you doing?"

"Pulling on my panties so they ride up and rub on me."

"Oh, that's dirty of you...are your knickers wet?"

"Yes, soaking wet."

"Stevie, I want to taste you there."

She giggled nervously. "Really?"

He heard her nerves in her voice. It was one thing she hadn't let him do to her, claiming she was too embarrassed. She also admitted it was something that had never been done to her. That thought alone was a huge turn on. To be her first that way was a point of manly pride. "Yes, love, I want to. Promise you'll let me when you get here. Just once?" By the pause in her breathing, he knew she was blushing. 

"Okay. Next time I see you."

"Take those knickers off for me?"

"If you take the boxers off. I like picturing you naked."

Chuckling he did as she asked. "The feeling's mutual by the way. Take the bra off while you're at it."

"Way ahead of you there."

"I love how they bounce when you ride me."

She slid her fingers along her slick folds, "Oh...I love when you grab my hips, and show me how to make it good for you."

"Are you touching yourself?"

"Mhmmm." She managed between whimpers.

"Put two fingers inside you. Tell me when they're in you."

"They're in."

"Okay, get them good and wet." He heard her moan a bit. "That's a good girl. Does it feel good? What are you thinking about while you finger yourself for me?" He cupped his balls as he stroked, his eyes closed, imagining they way she looked, her body shivering as she pleasured herself.

"It feels so good. Not as good as when you're inside me. I'm thinking about your hard cock in me, sliding in and out slowly as you kiss and suck on my nipples." She moaned, "Richard?"

"Yes?"

Her breathy murmur tantalized his ears. "Listen closely, I'm going to put my fingers in my mouth and taste how wet I am for you."

He started to stroke harder as he heard her moan and then moments later the slurping sound as she sucked fingers. "Oh god, that's so sexy. You're making me crazy."

"You like it when I'm your dirty girl Richard?"

The pressure was building inside him for imminent release. "Oh yes. I love that. Darling I need you to make yourself cum. I'm getting close."

She started circling her swollen nub with her fingers, pinching and playing with her nipple with her other hand. "Oh Christ Richard I want you so much!"

"I know. I want you too."

They were lost in their own gratification, and listening to the other's noises as they did so. As he heard her gasps turn to whines and whines to screams, he let out a shout. "Oh Stevie!" as his messy release hit him in the chest and stomach with several good blasts as he stroked it until he was spent.

After they regained their composure, there was that mischievous giggle coming from her. "Something's funny?"

"No. Well sort of. I've never done that before."

"Neither have I actually." He admitted. "I didn't think it would do anything for me, to be honest."

"So did you fake it then?" Her voice was teasing him.

He grinned at the obvious amusement in her voice. "Yes, I'm faking the mess I'm currently cleaning up for full effect."

"Well you are a perfectionist."

"Indeed." He rolled onto his side as the cat leapt onto the bed. "Beorn says hi, by the way."

"Thank you for letting me keep him there. Traveling would make it too hard here. I know you don't like cats."

Smiling as he absently pet the gray fuzzy beast he admitted, "Well honestly I don't mind this one. And I'm a bit lonely these days."

"How was dinner with the Sherlock camp? They promised to take care of you while I was gone." She threw on her panties and Richard's t-shirt before padding down to the kitchen for a glass of wine.

"Mostly it was me whinging about missing you. I don't know how they put up with me lately." He remembered what he'd admitted to them about no knowing if Stevie wanted kids. He decided it might be time to find out. "Martin suggested I knock you up so that I wouldn't mind having a break from you."

She about spit out her wine. "Oh? And you think turning me into someone cranky reproductive beast, roughly the shape of a dirigible is a proper solution for that?"

He completely loved the way she phrased things. "I didn't say it was a good idea. Just Martin's idea. He claimed that's how he got over missing Amanda. Earned him a fair punch in the arm."

She could picture that. "I'd bet."

"I told him you might be a bit put out if I tampered with your birth control anyhow." He hesitated.

"If any future pregnancy I might have was not of the unplanned variety, I'd prefer that." She sighed, "Though I think this conversation has just hit land mine territory."

He didn't think awkward phone conversations were possible anymore considering what they'd just done a moment ago. But there it was. He decided to just come right out and ask her. "But it's a conversation that should be had at some point. Is that something you want?"

"Are you asking me if I want to have kids?" Her heart started bouncing around in her chest.

"Yes, that's what I'm asking." He almost added 'With me' but refrained though her next question took care of that.

"Are you asking if I want to kids with you?"

"Yes, actually.  I know that you and your ex had originally decided not to..." When there was a long pause he started getting anxious. "Stevie? Are you still there?"

"I'm still here." She took a breath. "The decision not to was his idea. I thought I'd be okay with that. But when I got pregnant, circumstances aside, I was glad I was, and more glad I didn't have to share that with Casey in the end. I think I'd like the chance to be a mother someday, though only with someone who also wanted to be a dad. And I don't know if that's what you want."

"I'd sort of given up on the idea of having a family with someone, to tell you the truth."

"I see..." Her heart broke a little.

"No...I don't think you do. I spent a good share of my adult life in a place where it no longer seemed likely. And then I met you." He said softly. "And since then, I've allowed myself to want that again."

**  
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She was a woman determined to be there when her boyfriend needed her the most. Her eyes sought Kevin in the crowd by Baggage. While her photo shoot with one of her favorite bands was a thrill of a lifetime, she was climbing the walls. Jared and Shannon were great, brothers like her own in many ways. She was happy to count them as friends by the end of the weekend.

_"You miss him." Jared had said at the little bar around the corner from their hotel._

_"Does it show?"_

_He gave her an ironic look. "I know when I'm the presence of a distracted woman that I have zero chance of sleeping with."_

_Rolling her eyes she laughed. "I've never met anyone as blunt as I am before." She swirled her wine. "Yeah I do. Not enough to give up my career. I'm not used to that...having someone matter that much. Though honestly, you had zero chance of sleeping with me with or without Richard. Don't get me wrong, you're hot, and you know that. But, I don't do sex without love first."_

_Shannon laughed at the stunned look on his brother's face._

_"Well then Richard's a lucky man to have a beautiful woman with principles."_

 

Kevin slipped out and picked her up at the airport, taking her to the theatre. He helped her take a seat in the shadows. "Does he have any idea?"

Kevin's eyes crinkled at the corners before his smile appeared. "No, love. We didn't want to ruin your surprise. I'll take your luggage to the flat."

"Thank you." She gave his hand an affectionate squeeze.

"You're good for him."

There were many aspects of Richard's professional life she was familiar with at this point. But she'd never seen him on stage. Watching him rehearse for the first time was an experience of a lifetime. She was there to help him settle in, but work had taken her away for more than two weeks. She was in Paris over the weekend and when the shoot wrapped up before 10 a.m, instead of staying one more night as planned, she caught then next flight to London. There was something about the way his voice had sounded the night before that made her feel that he needed her.

Yael's face lit up as she crept over to the seat beside her and sat. "I'm so glad you made it, Richard's going to be so surprised. He told me this morning, that he didn't know how he was going to be able to do the scene."

"I had to tear the airline booking agent a new asshole...or three to make it. I knew you would take good care of him."

"Yes but I can tell he misses you. He can be...surly." Yael said patting her knee. "Oh, here they are. I'd better move or he'll see you when he looks for me."

She sat back and watched the scene unfold in front of her, even with all the blocking that still needed polishing and the lack of costumes and make up, she was still transported by the experience. It was awe inspiring to see Richard this way. The emotions of the scene tore her apart. She had tears running down her face. It was then that she saw his hasty exit.

He stared at himself in the mirror, noting the dark circles under his eyes, and the scruffy face. He was extremely self-conscious of the fact that when he was in the moment, certain roles made him throw up. He'd learned to carry a disposable toothbrush in his pocket at an early age on occasions like this one. Ridding his mouth of the disgusting flavor of bile combined with the natural properties that peppermint had for settling a stomach allowed him to physically move past it fairly quickly. But the emotional toll this time was so great he wasn't sure if he could actually go through with this play. _Of course everyone knows I will._

Upon his exit from the restroom he saw her. But he was still very much his character at that moment, it took several eye blinks for it to register. Stevie was leaning against the wall across from him. She was simply dressed in the t-shirt he'd loaned her upon request, an oversized, chunky cardigan sweater to ward off the cool autumn air, and a pair of black leggings. There were streak marks obviously from tears she'd just shed. By some sort of miracle she was there when he'd needed her the most. "Oh my god." Two strides across the hall and she was being crushed against him as he'd gathered her in his arms, burying his face in her hair, breathing her in.

She was content to be and do whatever he needed for as long as he needed her. He felt thinner. It worried her. She'd never seen him in the middle of a job like this. She was used to him being the stronger partner, that it was a bit disconcerting. It was nice to know he actually did need her.

She spotted Yael coming towards them. "Is he alright?" She asked softly, so full of concern.

At the sound of her voice, Richard straightened up, keeping his arm around Stevie as if the loss of physical contact would make her disappear. "Oh...Yeah I'm fine. Did I do alright? Some of the blocking was off."

"Well you've nailed the character if that's what you mean. I suppose it's wasted energy to try to get you to take better care of yourself in spite of the gravity of the part?" She patted his chest, over his heart.

He scratched his jaw. "Really, I'll be okay. Is there more you wanted me to do?"

The director smiled. "Yes, go home and let this beautiful woman take care of you."

He watched her bemusedly in their recently redone kitchen. The old cabinetry was given a facelift with white paint. The backsplash was colorful. The walls were a cheerful shade of blue. There was a pot rack above the island, filled with a set of cookware he'd practically had to force her to let him buy. She put the kettle on, thinking tea was a good idea for the moment. He couldn't believe she was there. But she absolutely belonged there, in his eyes.

She turned, catching his facial expression, "What?"

Sliding his hands around her waist, while still looking down at her he said, "How did you even manage?"

"Oh! She glanced at the wall clock. By now, it's raining in Paris. So we worked hard to get a lot done yesterday since booking another day would have cost them more money than they wanted to spend. The moment I found out that it was going to work out that way, I called Kevin, who had contacted Yael for me. And then I was very mean to some really nice people to get on the fight that I had."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "So everyone knew?"

"Oh yes. Yael re-planned today's rehearsal so that I could be there for Act 4." His grip on her hips tightened. "I promised you that if there was a way to be here, I would."

"I know you did...I had something special planned for you when you got home, actually."

"Oh? Did I ruin it?" Richard looked, for the lack of a better term, nervous. She wondered about that.

"Well no. I mean...not really. I'm in the mood for a full pot of tea, it's in the cupboard there. Once we have that I suppose I can tell you about it." When she looked at him funny he said, "I haven't exactly been sleeping well. And I don't fancy falling asleep on you now."

When she produced a fat little blue pot with white spots she grinned. "Oh! You got me a tea pot that goes with the new kitchen!" She turned and kissed him. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, but that's not the surprise." He watched her closely as she got out the darjeeling and measured it out, before dropping the pouch onto something that made a crinkling noise. He didn't react when she pulled out a small folded square of card stock.

"I think you left the label in it. Maybe I need to rinse the...pot." She noticed there was something hand written on it. Setting the tea pot down her gaze shifted between him and the little note card. Nothing on his face gave her a clue as she unfolded it. She read it, and then her gaze cut to his again. "Richard? Do all tea pots in England come with Shakespeare sonnets inside?"

"What does it say?" He looked as confused as she did, abundantly glad he was an actor, trying not to give away the surprise just yet.

"'Here my soul speak: The very instant I saw you, did my heart fly to your service.' I think it's from The Tempest, if I'm not mistaken." She glanced up at him questioningly.

 _Oh yes you ARE perfect aren't you?_ He smiled warmly at that pleasant surprise. His heart was in his eyes in a look that made her shiver. "You're correct about the Shakespeare. I put it in there...so the tea pot was part of the surprise, I suppose."

"And the love poem was the other? You're so romantic and sweet!" She leaned up and kissed him. "I love you."

His smile was a bit nervous again.  "I love you too. That's not the entire surprise. There were supposed to be flowers...I realized don't get you flowers and I meant to remedy that today." He tugged her over to the living room and beckoned for her to sit on the sofa. 

"Oh well you're successfully romantic without giving me flowers. Even Amanda is impressed and that says something." No longer able to ignore his obvious hesitance she asked, "Richard, is something wrong? You look like the guest of honor at you own execution. Are you breaking up with me?" Her eyes stung for a moment over that thought.

"No!" He took her hands in his. "Now why would I preface that with love poetry?"

"I don't know I..." The words died out when he moved to the floor in front of her. He was on one of his knees... _No Fucking Way!_

His smile was unavoidable when he got on his knee in front of her and her eyes went wide with realization, disengaging her trembling right hand from his to press it to her mouth in shock. He pulled out another card and handed it to her with another sonnet. This time, he spoke the words from memory as his blue eyes fixed on hers with blazing intensity, "Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the son doth move; Doubt the truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."

At that point he turned one of his palms up to show the most curious ring sitting there. The band was a graceful thin, platinum one that the top secured what appeared to be a tightly folded, hand written note, treated with something for longevity. "There was supposed to be candles too...and the ring is a bit unusual...but conventional rings seemed completely unworty of you...It's called a 'Love Letter Ring.' I meant to write something but well...I'm bad at it but both of the sonnets are on that little note in there." _Fuck I'm nervous and I sound like an idiot..._ "but I'm hoping you'll still consider..." He took another deep breath.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2j2yycw)

Richard Armitage was kneeling, stammering, trembling, nervous, sincere, perfect...

"...giving me the honor of being my wife."

_Holy shit...I'm dreaming..._

"No, you're not dreaming." He managed a shy smile. "I'm asking you to marry me."

 _I said that out loud!?_ Her voice was a shaky whisper, "Oh my god, Richard..." She lifted the ring curiously as tears streamed down her cheeks. "It's perfect...the ring... You're perfect...you get me." Two years ago her life was nothing short of a waking nightmare of a situation. But somehow it had lead her to this place. She choked up. _I'm normal...nothing special...he could have anyone yet...he wants me? How is this even my life?_

"You get me as well...which is no small accomplishment."

She handed it to him, holding out her hand. "Can you put it on me?"

He watched the kaleidoscope of emotions swirling in her gigantic eyes as he did so. He shifted his gaze to his ring on her hand. "So does that mean you will?"

She threw her arms around him and answered in a watery laugh, "Yes."

**  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To get a picture of what the ring looks like just 'google' love letter ring. You'll be able to spot what I'm talking about among them.


	16. When the loving heart bleeds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit of a tough one. So please be in a good frame of mind when you read it.

It was cold, windy and raining outside, but she had insisted on meeting Amanda and Martin out for dinner to celebrate their engagement. He would have said yes to just about anything at that point as she had just made him the happiest man in London. She made no secret herself that she was as happy as he, as her head was bent towards her friend giving a blow-by-blow account of how he'd proposed. Two things had surprised him in his observation that evening. One was the fact that while normally cool and glib on the surface no matter what lay beneath, she did have the capacity towards youthful, feminine giddiness when properly motivated. The other was the fact that in a very short time she'd had both of the Shakespeare quotes set to memory. He was capable of bringing out parts of her that very few ever saw, and that was more reassuring of his importance to her than anything else leading up to this point in their relationship. 

Amanda was tearing up as Stevie showed her the ring. "Oh how dear this is!" Then her gaze cut to his own face as she blinked them away for a cheeky batting of her lashes at him. " _Richard_  what a romantic you are!"

"Great, now if I ever actually propose or something I'm going to have some big standards to top." Martin gave Richard a falsely irritated look.

"Nah 'here's your fucking ring now shut up about it' will do just fine if it ever became necessary. Anything other than that and I'd think you'd been abducted by aliens or some such."

The entire group at the table chuckled. "No, I really am happy for you both, honestly." Martin gave his partner's shoulders a squeeze. "Couldn't have happened to better people. How long do you suppose it will be before the tabloids sink their fangs into this story once spotting a ring on that particular finger?"

Richard had wondered that himself. "Carol is ready for the fallout. She actually had Kevin swipe one of Stevie's rings for me for fit. So she's aware. So is your agent, love." He turned to Stevie, "This part is up to you. They already know we're together, I will leave it up to you if I'm asked about you, and our engagement. I still ask them not to ask about my personal life, but I don't suspect it will keep them from wondering at some point."

Her smile was full of mischief. "Oh I think I can live with the public shame of being engaged to Richard Armitage." She answered dryly.

Though her face never changed and it wasn't obvious to the others at the table, her hand had migrated from his thigh to his groin area. He had to clench his jaw in order to prevent an audible response to her surprisingly bold touch. _What are you doing you little minx..._ His questioning eyes asked hers. Her answer was to chew on her bottom lip in feigned non-challance. He was intensely glad they chose a restaurant with full table cloths when her next move was even more brazen than the first. Her deft little hands worked slowly so as not to give them away to their friends in front of them. The uncomfortable tightness of his pants was relieved with the tug of his fly button and the descent of the zipper below it. _She wouldn't..._  His brain cried out as her fingers crept into flap of his boxers. As his pulse quickened his skill as an actor was his life line as he was nearly incapable of keeping up with the conversation which was taking place. He was in complete awe of her as the waiter returned to their table, and Stevie calmly asked, "Can we see a dessert menu please?" while her fingers began to tease and caress the sensitive skin with the occasional squeeze as he fully stirred to life.  _Oh god...she just did! Oh look there's still wine in my glass..._

Amanda nodded appreciatively and added, "Oh yes, they have the most gorgeous tiramisu you must try!"

"Insert inappropriate joke about lady fingers here." Stevie giggled as Richard started coughing.

Martin chuckled, "Richard, I don't recommend breathing the wine."

Clearing his throat he gave Stevie's side a pinch, happy with her resulting squeek. "Yeah well her ability to catch me off guard is uncanny." His pointed gaze pinned hers while she maddeningly feigned innocence.

As the menus arrived at the table again, Amanda and Martin were occupied with choosing dessert, Richard leaned close to her ear and in his sexy baritone murmured. "You're killing me you naughty girl."

His breath sent shivers through her and his grip on her middle tightened as his fingers flexed, causing her nipples to harden as well as a growing ache between her legs. She turned her head so that her lips were felt as her barely audible reply was given. "Do you want me to stop?" 

When she turned her head back she lifted her wine glass to her lips, taking a slow sip, licking her lips afterwards. She ordered dessert and as Amanda did the same Richard finally said, "No...but you might wish you had once I get you alone and am...impatient."

Her eyes peered at his hot gaze over the rim of her glass as she gave him a good squeeze, "Bring it."

_Arousal gripped him as her hand remained around his cock. Well, If you insist..._

 

 

 

He could barely remember how he'd managed to refasten his trousers without alerting the room of his sexy little pixie's provokative ministrations. He also didn't remember the taxi ride home. He was singularly focused on the burning need to rip his fiance's clothes from her lucious little body. His voice was mild. "Did you mean it? What you said to me at the restaurant."

As she set her purse on the little table in the foyer she turned to hear him click the lock. _Mean what..._ Then he leveled his dark gaze at her causing prickles of fear and arousal to skitter from her belly to her extremities. _Oh god...I said 'bring it.'_  She nodded, her eyes were wide and she took an involuntary step back.

"Be absolutely sure."

"I'm sure Richard, I--" He shut off the words with a bruising, ravaging kiss as he urged her backwards with their force. With a jarring thud, she made contact with the wall behind her, yet his mouth continued its ravenous assault.  

White hot lust ignited as he pinned her against the wall, pressing his body against her. His possessive hands were everywhere in his desperate need. His touch burned through her clothes and yet it wasn't fast enough, hard enough or close enough to satisfy her craving for him. He tore his mouth from hers with a growl, "I need your skin, now." His long fingers yanked the blouse from her skirt shoving it up her body past her breasts. "Arms up." He ordered and then as the blouse cleared her finger tips he grabbed her wrists and held them captive as his other hand worked the clasp of her bra free with practiced ease, discarding that as well. His eyes burned into hers as he ran his free hand from her wrists, down an arm to her breast thumbing the tight little bud of her nipple as he started kneading the soft flesh with the rest of his fingers. Her gasp of pleasure shuddered through her entire body. 

While he was not particularly gentle, he wasn't clumsy or mean in his dark, frenzied pursuit of carnal pleasures. When her hands were free to roam again she worked the buttons of his shirt until his delectable chest was exposed to her caresses. When she felt the bared flesh of his straining erection on her belly her eyes widened. Without much warning he had palmed her hips, lifted her feet off the ground and urged her thighs apart. As he settled himself between her thighs, pressing her firmly against the wall, she wrapped her legs around him like a vice. "Stevie..." His fierce blue eyes were locked with hers while she felt him tug the crotch of her skimpy thong aside to allow access and teased her for just a moment, sliding his shaft along her slick, wet heat. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?" His voice was strained, almost angry sounding. In one swift driving motion he pushed into her as her own body's welcoming response pulsed and then clenched around him. Then against the wall, barely inside the door of his flat, he thrust into her again and again mercilessly until...powerfully...building...climbing...intensifying...blinding...shattering pleasure ripped through them both.

 

 

 

Twenty-four hours later, he was bent over a good book, propped up against the headboard, while Stevie was on the phone with her mother. He had grinned at the scream he'd heard on the other end when Stevie had broken the news. She was sitting in nothing more than a threadbare t-shir and a pair of white cotton knickers, sitting cross-legged. "I don't know..." She furrowed her brow. "I don't know his schedule off the top of my head. Hold on."  She muted the phone and her gaze cut to him.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing the second weekend in November?" She pulled her iPad off the night stand and scrolled through her calendar.

"The one that's exactly 4 weeks away?" He did grabbed his calendar. "Nothing, remarkably."

"Mum wants to invite us for the weekend."

"Their place? That should work. I could see my parents as well." 

Stevie smiled sheepishly. "Mum also wants to invite them to supper Saturday. Really more like an engagement party that she claims is meant to be small but...she wants a guest list you'd like to include." 

"Well then..." so it begins "tell her I'll let my mum handle that. I'll give her your mum's number and she can ring her tomorrow since she might be a little put out if she heard the news from your mum."

"Ah, good call there." Stevie turned mute off. "That weekend works. Can I give Margaret your number so she can ring you? Please don't overdo it..." Stevie crossed her eyes causing Richard to respond with a crooked grin. "I don't know...I don't know that either...we haven't had a chance to discuss that...Mum, I've been affianced for a sum total of 29 hours..I imagine we'll have to change some things...Really mum?...I will ask Richard...Yes I will...I promise. I have to go, my phone needs charging. Give Daddy a kiss for me? I love you too." She set her phone on the night stand with the iPad and fell back against her pillow, scrubbing her face with her hands. "Fucking hell man..." 

"Oh come on now, it can't be that bad." He set his book and iPad aside as well as he moved to lean over her. "Ask me what by the way?"

"About inviting friends to what is now going to be the opposite of a small dinner party. About what type of wedding we want. Do we have a date in mind. Who are our attendants. Are you religious and if so what church...will I look like a normal bride, whatever the hell that means exactly...Are we planning to have kids and how many and when because apparently I'm not getting any younger you know...how would we manage that with our careers the way they are now..." She  said flatly. "Brace yourself...my mother is going make you regret this." She added, wiggling her ring hand.

"My mother might make you regret it equally as much." He laughed. "It will be fine. We could make up bizarre answers and answer differently every time we're asked."

Stevie's eyes warmed at that idea as she glanced up at him. "Could we please? That would at least make it entertaining. Do you have any preferences?"

His eyes were roaming over her body and fixated on her chest. "Well I quite like the way my old shirt looks on you while you're not wearing a bra. Are you cold?" His subsequent grin was cheeky.

She hissed, "You're going to be absolutely no help are you?"

"Not right now while your mother has you wound up and your breasts don't seem to want to stop staring at my eyes. I don't have the patience to deal with the one while being distracted by the other, I'm afraid.” His hand wandered up her waist to her breast causing her skin to break out in goosebumps. 

"You're insatiable!" She giggled. 

His mouth was taking little tantalizing tastes of the sensitive skin of her neck and around her ears as his hands tugged her knickers off. “Says the woman who took my dick out to play with it at dinner last night...driving me mad with lust because she couldn't possibly wait to get me home first." Shedding his boxers he gave her a predatory grin, while he pushed himself inside her just a little and paused. "I can stop if you'd like..."

"Don't you dare!"

It was long past midnight, and Stevie was curled into his side, with her left hand resting on his chest. Her warm rhythmic breathing tickling his skin indicated her relaxed, satisfied slumber. He was only half alive when she wasn't with him. And while he considered them both extraordinarily fortunate that they could maintain successful careers and be together as much as they were, it was still so much harder than he'd anticipated. But as she would never expect him to give up his career for her, he could not unfairly ask her to do the same. And perhaps he had jumped the gun in proposing to her before they'd worked out the kinks in their separate lives as they'd slowly merged them together. Yet their love and commitment was something that was not so complicated as their surroundings and while they had not been together for very long, it just felt right.

 

 

 

 

"I take it Stevie's made it back to you safely?" Ben commented at lunch the very next day. "I cannot imagine any other reason for you to be in such a good mood while looking like you’re half alive from sleep deprivation unless it involved copious amounts of great sex."

"She looks better than me this morning. Our age difference is most apparent in that aspect."

"You're not having worries about that are you?" 

Richard's eyes sleepily danced with humor. "Considering I'm marrying her, I think I've worked it out alright."

Ben's face broke into a grin. "Well good on you then! When did it become official?"

"Monday. By the way, Stevie's mum is in rare form already and insists on throwing a party for us and you'll be getting an invitation soon."

Ben nodded, "If I can be there I will be. You know that. What do your parents say?" 

Scratching at his jawline he sighed. "Oh well my mum thought it would never happen. She's not the only one I suppose since neither did I after a while. But of course they like her." 

Ben contemplated the fact that every single male around Richard envied him for a moment. "What's not to like about her, really? I mean she's short. That's nothing she can help but you might have hobbits for offspring. 

"Nonsense. It's dwarves or nothing."

 

At the same time across town, Stevie was supposed to meet Gemma's train at Charing Cross at one in the afternoon, so that the two of them could have an overnight and shopping while Richard was busy with rehearsal. However Gemma hadn't gotten off her train. Perhaps I had the times wrong? She pulled out her phone and called Danielle to double check.

 

Richard looked down at his buzzing phone. 

 _S--where are you?_  

"Stevie's texting me..."

 _R--At lunch with Ben, what's up?_  

 _S--something I won’t say over text. I need to see you._  

"Something's wrong." He said softly feeling a bit of panic slice through him. 

Ben furrowed his brows and sat up. "What is it?"

 _R--Meet you at the Old Vic? Ben was going to hang out there this afternoon. Is that okay?_  

_S--Yes that's fine. Please hurry._

 

 

The practically ran from the restaurant to their destination to find Stevie was leaning against the side door of the historic building. "Sweetheart? What's happened?" 

Upon hearing Richard's voice she looked up, but he wasn't entirely sure she saw him at first. She was holding her posture tight as if she was ready to fall apart at any moment. Her large eyes were wider from shock. "I..." her voice shook, her hands shook as he took them. "Gemma wasn't on the train." 

"Oh my god, that's right you were supposed to pick her up. Is she missing?" 

Stevie shook her head "N-no. Her mother was sorry, she forgot to call me...Can't say I blame her." Stevie felt like she was going to be sick. 

Icy tendrils of fear slithered around his heart. He took her slender shoulders in his hands and bent down, "What is it?" 

"Gemma...Oh Richard...poor Danielle, she found her this morning when she didn't come out for breakfast."

He would never in his life forget the look in Stevie's eyes the moment she'd pinned him with her gaze and explained in a near whisper that Gemma had killed herself. He would never forget holding her as shock and grief washed over both of them. He would also never forget how his friends that had met his fragile little friend immediately came together and arranged to pay for and attend the funeral. Danielle was on auto-pilot that could only be attributed to the need to still be Tessa's mother with the help of a little Valium as well. Both of their mothers rushed to Scotland to help the bereaved mother with the preparations and arrangements, becoming fast friends as Catherine had driven with Margaret. 

Richard, Tom, Martin, and Ben were asked to be pallbearers with Danielle's brother Jameson and his oldest son Geofferey. Both male family members were a bit thunderstruck at the earnest friendship and concern from the rather famous men. Jameson did learn to relax after some time getting used to their presence and in the end was thankful for them being there. His sister and niece seemed to welcome the distraction.

The day of the actual funeral was the hardest as her mother insisted on an open casket, and they had to find a shirt with long enough sleeves to cover her wrists. Richard was fine until he was faced with the reality of how she'd died. And he was able to hold it together so long as Stevie was. However his resolve first crumbled when Tessa who had been glued to Stevie's side for most of the time since they'd arrived had thrown herself into Stevie's arms and broke down when she said, "I was so mean to her sometimes." Once Stevie lost it, there were no such thing as a dry eye among the lot of them. 

He counted the moment that He and Stevie approached Gemma's casket, to see the purple haired girl laying there as if finally at peace as one of the most difficult ones of his entire adult life. But the time had finally come to say good bye to his little friend and he had delayed the moment until the last possible second. He was going to strangle on his own helpless grief at before he could draw the next breath.

As much as Stevie's heart was sick, the look on Richard's face was what finally did her in. He was heartbroken and there was nothing on earth she could do to take that pain away from him. She could see him struggling to turn away, fixated on the image of the once lively little girl, who would never grow up. It was at that moment she'd noticed something unusual about what she'd assumed was the customary bible laying under her folded hands. Tears ran down her face openly at that point and she did nothing to try to erase them as she took his hand in hers and whispered, "Richard?" His eyes met hers immediately, "Look at the book in her hands."

"The bible?" His voice rumbled out, thick with emotion. 

"No...it's not a bible. Look again."

Realization dawned on his face when he recognized the very book he'd autographed for her.

Having heard the couple's exchange, Danielle approached them both. "She didn't leave much of a note, but she asked to be buried with it as it was her most treasured possession. She said if a person could take a memory with them after they died, she wanted to take that one." 

After the services the group of friends were sitting in an out of the way pub in Edinburgh, drained from the events of the day after their little friend was laid to rest. Normally bright and animated, Stevie had said very little in the past couple of days. But the haunted look in her eyes spoke volumes to Richard. He knew exactly where her thoughts had lead her. 

Amanda had her arm around Stevie stroking her hair soothingly as Richard watched from across the table. Amanda’s eyes met Richard’s as she asked, “How are you holding up, love?"

Richard scrubbed at his face and shrugged, "Like I wish there was some way I could have done more to prevent it. Shattered...I'm just glad my mum and Catherine are staying with Danielle for awhile to help her through the worst of it."

Amanda's smile was fleeting and thin. “What a way for the in-laws to meet, isn’t it? It’s good they’re doing that. Says a lot about how you and Stevie turned out so dear.” She looked at her friend. “I cannot imagine being in Danielle’s shoes. Losing a child, what that would be like…”

"It’s like dying. Losing a child is like having a part of you die.”

Stevie’s voice had been absent from most conversations for so long that even though she’d spoken so softly, her words had gained everyone at the table’s attention. “I don’t know exactly how Danielle is feeling in this particular situation, as mine was different. But I had a daughter once, and three days after she was born, I lost her. My mother is with her because she knows that had I not had loving support during that time I wouldn't have fared very well." 

Richard had decided to drive them back through the night with the idea that they'd stop if they needed to. After about two hours of near silence she finally laid a hand on his arm and said. "I love you."

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2nuha9d)

He cast her a sidelong glance. "I love you too. How are you holding up?"

"Much as you are." She gave him a small smile. "Do you regret it?"

"Hmm?" He looked momentarily puzzled before he added, "Growing attached you mean?"

"Yeah." 

He didn't even have to think about it. "No. Not for a second. Danielle and Tessa are like family now anyhow aren't they?" He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"I wouldn't have them if it weren't for you. And though my heart bleeds now, I don't regret loving Gemma." 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long but the emotional rollercoaster was a very real one for me and made it very difficult as I wasn't satisfied with the ending of this one until I'd successfully ripped my own heart out. I hope this has lived up to expectations, The fact that people are reading must mean that my brand of rubbish isn't so bad?


	17. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be a bit dull. Sorry for the delay, a family emergency pulled me away. Thanks so much for reading, the kudos and the words of encouragement.

"Oh Sleeping Beauty, we've arrived." Richard turned to his sleeping pixie and pressed his lips to her temple first, then her nose and finally her mouth, brushing her mouth gently with his until she stirred against him and smiled against his mouth. “I hope we have the right house.” It was the weekend of their engagement party and Stevie had acted as if she was about to be the guest of honor at a human sacrifice. She didn't like to be the center of attention, though she often was without knowing it, ironically. 

It had been a lovely autumn drive to Leicester, but as Stevie was still on New York time he had let her sleep. Glancing up at the hearty looking farmhouse some fifteen miles outside of town he smiled. She'd told him that this was in her family since the day it was built, almost 200 years ago, and while much of the pasture was sold off, they had a considerable amount of land that could accommodate a stable with horses, a small wooded area and a meandering stream. She'd spent every summer here at her grandparents' insistence that she understand a proper English upbringing. When they passed on, her father, the oldest son inherited the property and set to do some major renovations and updates while preserving as much of the original as he could.

Stepping out of the car in the crisp autumn with the air she grinned. "Oh it smells the same." Memories of her childhood, and a time before the marriage from hell, flooded her senses. Having Richard there just made it a perfect moment.

Her face practically glowed as she stood there in a floral print pinafore dress, a gigantic cardigan sweater and leggings, with a ridiculous pair of  knee-high, red wellies. It all but hid her body, and made her look about sixteen years old, but he couldn’t help but grin. She was a whole package, a delightful mix between jaded adult, and child-like rapture. And now he played a part in that life, just as she played a part in his.

The front door opened and Royce was standing there with a giant grin on his face. "Oh, Catherine, you did hear the children pulling up."

Richard grabbed the suitcase and the garment bag, as Stevie threw her arms around her father's neck. "Don't get all of that, I can carry my own." Stevie cast a frown over her shoulder realizing what he was doing.

"It's not so much that I can't handle it." Richard’s brows knit together as he shook his head, catching a knowing look from Stevie's dad.

Royce patted her face, "You know, you could just let him be good to you. I know you're independent, but we men like to feel useful and manly."

Catherine stood in the doorway, "Well you say that knowing you're about to set Richard to especially manly task of cutting up firewood and bringing it in with Colin." She grinned at Richard as she stopped him. "You'll need to put those down for a moment, dear, and give us a hug”

As they made it to Stevie's room, she set to hanging Richard's suit and her dress for the next day as he took a turn around the room. The house was a stylish blend of old and new throughout. "Now I know where you get your decorating taste."

"I'm a fan of never forgetting where we came from but not to the point of rotting where we stand." She fell back against her bed and sprawled out as she watched his eyes travel to the furnishing and then to a Radiohead poster with a pair of concert tickets and an autographed photo framed next to it. In spite of their age difference, music was something they nearly always agreed upon with a few exceptions. "I was sixteen I think. Campbell took me, knew someone who represented them. I got to hang out with them backstage and everything."

He crawled up onto the bed after her and hovered over her. "Well aren't you posh hanging out with celebrities?" His voice vibrated against her neck as he took little tastes of the creamy skin there.

"Yeah, dead posh. Just think, you're posh by association." She couldn't stifle the little moan at the roughness of his beard and the firmness of his lips. "Have I mentioned that...I like that beard?" 

He settled himself between her legs, staring down at her as she pulled him in with her cotton clad thighs with a crooked grin. "The fans aren't loving the scruff as much as you I'm afraid." As his gaze wandered her face he pondered what seemed different about her in this place.

"More for me." She giggled. "Want to go riding this afternoon?"

His reply was delivered with a wolfish grin as he placed a hand on her right breast, through her clothing. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

A familiar voice came from the doorway. "Oh for fuck's sake you two...you live together, you can't take a break?"

Richard sighed in semi-irritation as he backed off of Stevie allowing her to sit up. "Hello, Colin."

"You can tell us apart?"

"Mostly by your tone of voice. You're a bigger prick than your brother.” 

“You’re not incorrect on that one.” Colin nodded, having thrust his hands into the pocket of his jeans. "Dad wants help with the firewood. He sent me to recruit you as well. That is, if you're done with my sister’s tits."

Humor lit up his face when he shot back. "Oh...I'm never fully done with them." Stevie groaned and fell back against the bed.

Surprised, Colin laughed and cuffed Richard on the shoulder. "You know, you're really starting to grow on me, mate."

 

 

Stevie came downstairs to find Liz who greeted her with a hug and kiss, then dutifully handed Sean to her. "Look at how big you are!" Sean beamed a gummy grin before buzzing his lips at his auntie and proceeded to start grabbing at her face with his chubby hands.

"Okay I've waited long enough, let's see this ring." Catherine chirped at her.

"I was hoping you'd say something." Liz eyed it as Stevie extended her little fingers out and both women took turns with their "Ohs and Ahs" as they clasped her hand and inspected the unique piece of jewelry. "Honestly, Stevie, it's so romantic."

"It is lovely, my dear. High time you let someone treat you well...someone heterosexual anyhow." Catherine was of course referring to Adam. "So...plans?"

"We've not gotten around to that exactly. Life has been so crazy, to be honest. We're lucky to be in the same timezone much less the same country on any given day."

Richard and Colin came through the door at the moment with armloads of wood. "Well, Richard, you're officially part of the family when Royce puts you to work the moment you arrive." Catherine shook her head.

Stevie's eyes cut to Richard, looking flushed from exertion, and a little messy and her mouth practically watered.

"Jesus Christ, Stevie, can you keep it in your pants at all?" Colin barked with laughter even as his mother hissed at the blasphemy.

"Oh sod off or I'll trip you." Stevie glared.

As the men put their armloads down in the mud room Richard turned towards Stevie holding her nephew and his heart swelled with longing. It's only getting worse... "What did I miss?"

Liz's eyes danced with humor. "Well you came in looking a bit like a lumberjack and Stevie looked as if she hadn't seen a man in months." She caught Stevie's glare and giggled, "Oh before that? Well it appears as if there haven't been details discussed about the upcoming wedding? And inquiring minds want to know."

 

  
  
Stevie was impressed with Richard's ability to sidestep the issue and get them both out of the house with the promise that they'd have time to discuss things so that at dinner they would have answers for them. Richard was impressed with Stevie's ability to handle such a large horse, especially since she admittedly hadn't ridden him in awhile. When he asked her what name she'd given the sleek black stallion she grinned and blushed. "Thorin."

"You're joking!" He cracked a wide grin. 

"I'd gotten him as a gift from my dad for graduating from high school."

"So clearly related to the books and not the movies." 

"I told you, the books led me to the movies and then to you, not the other way around." She hopped off her horse next to the stream that wandered through the property, inside a small stand of trees.

"I'm going to have to invite Peter to the wedding I think. Since he's apparently responsible." He chuckled. "and little did I know you've been riding Thorin for over a decade." 

"having Peter Jackson at the wedding would be the shit. And you are so dirty!" Her eyes widened as she removed a blanket from a bundle on the back of Thorin, before spreading it over a patch of low grass.

Richard watched what she was doing before she reached for the food that her mother had packed. Stilling her hand for a moment he asked, "I could be even dirtier...How private is this place?" The tone of his voice made her shiver.

"More private than the house." She raised her right eyebrow at him.

"Right then, we'll eat after." He commented and clothes were tugged off and tossed in the grass and he was tugging her down with him to the blanket in the next breath. While the pursuit of each other's skin was a quick thing, actual love making was languid and indulgently sensuous. Afterward he pulled the blanket around them before they dozed a bit, their bodies tangled together in the sunshine and fresh air.

After a bit she smiled down at him stacking her hands over his chest and resting her chin there. "They’re going to want answers to the questions you know.”

“The questions?” He absently rubbed his cheek against her head, drinking in that familiar scent of warm buttered vanilla.

“Wedding details.”

“Ah. Stuff that I’m more than happy to let the women take care of?” He grinned at her sheepishly as she scowled. “I’m kidding. Don’t most women dream of their wedding day?”

A shadow passed over her face for a moment. “I think this needs to be more about what you want. I mean this is your first time."

"That doesn't mean that you get no say in the matter." He often wondered what was going on in her head when she got like this. Granted it wasn't very often, but then again he'd gotten good at putting off certain conversations because he sensed the unease on her part.

"Here’s the part where my baggage gets in the way, right? Like I don’t deserve the fairy tale. Because at the end of the day, I really fucked it up.” She pulled out of his arms and hugged her knees to herself protectively.

It wasn’t at all like her to dwell on the past like that. This was uncharted territory for him. He didn't really know what a divorce was like and what a person would be thinking about when they decided to remarry knowing how bad it could be. Well Annie had been divorced, but then again they had never seriously gotten around to discussing marriage during their rocky relationship. But he felt her building walls and it frustrated him. 

She felt sick. Richard didn’t deserve to have to deal with this but it was out there now. “I’m so sorry.” She couldn’t even manage to look at him as he sat up and pulled her onto his lap.

“Stop it.” He said gruffly. That had gotten her attention and when she suddenly turned her wary gaze on him he captured her chin. “Come on, out with it. I want to know what’s bothering you and I want you to stop dancing around it. Stop telling me what I want to hear and tell me what I need to know. It’s not as if I don’t know you were married before. I’ve asked you before to not shut me out and yet you still do it.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to apologize. I just want you to help me understand so that I can be what you need me to be right now. That is what I'm signing up for, after all.”

She placed her hand along the side of his face and peered into his intensely blue eyes with the crinkles around the edge and with the realization that she would be his wife her heart did a little flip. “God...you’re so fucking good. I have no clue why you were even available when I met you." When blinked a bit, a sign of embarrassment over the compliment she sighed, "It’s just that I didn’t plan to get married again. I was certain I didn’t want to, actually. And then I met you, and you changed everything for me in such a short time. But it hasn’t changed what I feel is most important.”

“And that is?”

“However we get married, so long as the outcome is that I’m your wife, that’s all that actually matters to me." 

He kissed her softly. “Funny...I more or less feel the same way, which is why I need your help. Surely you won’t mind celebrating a little."

“Oh of course! My family would kill me anyhow if we didn’t. Well...not huge? And...the less that our wedding becomes part of the machine that drives your career the better.” She ran her fingers through his chest hair lazily, thrilling over the fact that his body was hers to touch. “What about you? Have you given much thought to what you want it to be like?"

Her touch was driving him mad. "Well if you want to actually discuss this in a meaningful way then you need to stop that." He clasped her hand in his. 

"Sorry." She grinned as she turned so that she was now straddling his lap.

 As she wiggled against him his jaw flexed, "No you are not. You're a complete tease is what you are." He took a moment to pull the blanket around them to capture their body heat as they hadn't bothered with clothes just yet. Clearing his throat he was starting to look sheepish. “Well...I have a couple things actually. And while the first one might be a bit petty, it's an honest sticking point with me." 

“What?”

“However your first wedding went...I’d like ours to be different.”

She grinned. “That's not at all unreasonable of a request and very easy to accomplish. Since my parents did NOT approve, Casey and  I went to Vegas and eloped.”

“So we’re not eloping, to Vegas or otherwise.” He said firmly as he kissed her forehead. "What's your definition of 'not huge?'"

“Seventy-five or less?" 

"Agreed." He smiled as he started to caress her skin.

She shivered feeling needy for him again. "See now you're distracting me."

"I thought we were done..."  

"You said a couple of things. What's the other?”

“New Year’s Eve.”

 She blinked. “As in _this_  New Year’s Eve?"

 

 

 

After another tumble they headed back to the house where both mothers were having tea over the kitchen counter looking over recipes. Richard kissed his mother announced the projected wedding date in the same breath.

Margaret and Catherine said in unison, " _This_ New Year's Eve?"

"I'm Forty-three years old, mother, how much longer do you really want me to wait?" He helped himself to tea before winking at Stevie. 

Colin paused as he'd strolled through the room and pulled a leaf from his sister's hair, "Yeah, better not wait too long at the rate you two are going. You're like rabbits."

Mortified, Stevie gasped, "Oh my god Colin, I hate you." Grabbing the leaf from her brother's hand she elbowed him. 

"Oh shut up. If you don't hate me for having you convinced you were adopted, you don't hate me now." 

Richard's mouth turned up at the edges. "You really did that?"

"That among other things." Colin nodded. 

Margaret was thoroughly entertained by Colin and Stevie's relationship. Having a good chuckle over the images coming to mind she quipped, "Sounds familiar. Chris had Rich convinced he was born with a small tail that had to be removed shortly after his birth."

Everyone broke into laughter. "I had completely forgotten about that!" Richard wiped at the corners of his eyes after regaining the ability to speak, "That bastard." 

"Oh man, I only wish I had thought of that!" Colin grinned. "Cam wouldn't let me do half of the stuff I wanted to though. Mum was a huge spoil sport because Stevie would go tell on me. Brat."

Stevie stuck her tongue out her brother.

"Indeed." Catherine shook her head and leaned over a calender she'd taken from a drawer. Counting the weeks she frowned. "Invitations would need to go out on Monday."

Liz patted Catherine's shoulder. "I can have them printed by tomorrow if Richard and Stevie would sit down with me after dinner and work those out."

Margaret's gaze met Richard's. She was clearly proud of her son and would do anything for him. "I'll come back Sunday and help address them."

"But...on short notice, on a holiday, where would we have it? We'd need a confirmation on that before sending them out." No one in her family was unfamiliar with Catherine Goodwin's debbie-downer attitude when she wasn't completely sold on an idea. She wanted a big wedding and time to plan. One of the reasons Stevie agreed to a date barely more than 6 weeks away was to curtail that as much as possible.  

Stevie went to her purse and grabbed her iPad and punched up Pinterest doing a search for winter wedding tents. Pulling up a dazzling image of twinkling white lights and candles she spun it around. "Here, in the garden. It would be heated of course." Stevie turned to Richard for approval, "What do you think?"

Richard watched his mother as her eyes misted over as she whispered. "Oh that's lovely!" Stevie's heart warmed knowing she had an ally in Margaret Armitage if all else failed. 

"I think you've been thinking about this more than I realized." Richard grinned at her. 

Campbell and Britta arrived shortly after. The little girl found Richard outside ran straight to Richard and gawked up at him. When he lifted her up she said, "My mum says you're going to marry my auntie Stevie."

"She's right."

"And then you'll be my uncle." She reached out and touched his beard out of curiosity.

He was enchanted by her uninhibited nature. "That is also true."

"But I thought maybe it would alright if I called you Uncle Richard now even though you're not exactly my uncle yet."

His heart warmed at her simple acceptance of him just as all of the others had. "I think that's alright if you want to."

"Gabby at school says when her auntie married her uncle, he put a baby in her tummy and gave her a cousin."

 _Well that escalated quickly..._ Though apparently she didn't notice he was suddenly uncomfortable when she added, "Do you want to put a baby in my Auntie Stevie?" 

Richard's eyebrows shot up. "Did your Uncle Colin put you up to this?"  

"Nuh uh." She giggled, "You're funny, Uncle Richard, I like you. So will you give me a cousin? Because if you do, can it be a girl? My baby brother is so boring because he's a boy."

He shook his head with an incredulous smile on his face, "I'll see what I can do." He gave her a hug and set her down. "Now let's go see if we're needed inside, shall we?"

"Sure! Can I sit by you at supper?" 

 

 

 

Stevie was completely surprised to see that Danielle and Tessa were renting her parents' apartment above the old carriage house. Campbell had arranged for a job for Danielle and Catherine had agreed that it would be nice to have Tessa to keep her company since her children were grown. When Stevie suggested that Tessa be taught to ride Thorin so that he would get more exercise, the girl practically jumped into her lap with excitement.

Adam arrived shortly before dinner and offered to do the photos for free, which caused an argument between Stevie and himself that amused those around them.  

By the time the table was cleared Liz was sitting with Richard, looking at invitations. Stevie was exhausted. "Six weeks and two and a half days to plan a wedding."

"Second thoughts, love?" Richard's eyes danced with humor.

"Yes, that's it, call it off. I'm done in." She crossed her eyes at him. "Wedding dresses are so...cheesy." She added, flipping through photos on Pinterest. "What do you like?"

"Again nothing like your last one."

"I didn't wear a wedding dress. I was so wasted...I think I wore jeans."

Danielle's eyes widened. "Wait, you were drunk at your own wedding?" 

"I had to be drunk or I wouldn't have gone through with it. It's nice to be in love with Richard while sober." There was a chuckle around the table as Colin brought in a bottle of wine and glasses and handed Tessa a soft drink.

"Oh thanks for that much. Do you really want my opinion on dresses? Isn't it that against tradition?" 

"First off I'm going to have my favorite dress designer make it. It won't look exactly like what's on here. Second, just give me a hint. I'm so afraid of feeling stupid in one of these. And if you hate it...that would be a nightmare." 

Catherine walked behind Stevie and pointed to one. "I like that. You might like one with sleeves." Stevie stiffened. 

At that point Liz chose to type: _Oh boy, have you ever seen your bride completely lose it before?_

Richard shook his head.

Danielle sweetly offered. "It is a winter wedding."

"Yeah except that's not why mum wants me to cover my arms." She stood up to grab a glass of wine and turned to look at Catherine. "Is it?"

Royce and Colin exchanged glances, which didn't go unnoticed by Richard, who was watching helplessly.  

Catherine sighed, "You have your arms covered now. I don't see what's the big deal, Stephanie."

"I have a jumper on. I guess I could get married in this." The glare on little Stevie’s face could part a forest. 

Campbell came into the room, "Sean and Britta are down for the...night?" He stopped as Colin handed him a glass of wine and he felt the tension between his mother and sister. "Right."

"Don't be stubborn, Stephanie. I thought maybe you'd want to look more sophisticated and adult. This isn't your first wedding after all and you're an older bride..." At that point Colin almost spit out his wine and Royce shot him a warning look. "...and some of the guests might be sensitive to..."

At that point Stevie's eyes went wide as she cut her mother off. "...Wait...are you ashamed of me? Is that what you're actually saying? Fuck me...it is what you're saying." 

"Stephanie Alice Goodwin your language!" Catherine gasped.

Richard didn't exactly know what to do. Liz put a hand on his arm and then typed: _This isn't a new argument between them. Royce is about to step in._

She'd called it right of course when Stevie's dad placed an arm about his daughter, and one about his wife. "Stop, both of you. Stephanie, you know your mother is more traditional than you'd like her to be and Catherine, you know that our girl is her own woman, whether you approve or not. This is her wedding, and I'm pretty certain the groom knows that she has tattoos. We're not inviting anyone to the wedding who would see anything other than how beautiful our Stephanie is. So stop this nonsense, love each other and move on."

 


	18. Man of my Nightmares/Man of my Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I had a lot of material, and had even implied that this chapter would be fun. I split it up and am including more fun in the next chapter. Some of it is not fun, as there is implied domestic violence in there. Please be aware of that if that's a raw subject for you. 
> 
> Love you all for following this story. Thanks again for the words of encouragement.

Casey _would be home at any moment. He’d been edgy lately so she planned a special dinner to cheer him up. Plus she got the proofs from the photoshoot she’d done for Inked magazine. This would be fantastic publicity for the shop and for her husband specifically. He’d been looking forward to seeing them since he’d convinced her to do it. His words, “I like people to know that my woman is so fucking hot.”_

_The front door of their little apartment in Huntington Beach closed with a slam and there stood her husband. Casey was a striking man, with black hair and green eyes and a lean face that held a permanent sneer and, of course, was covered in tattoos. There were so many women who hated her when he married her. Stevie appeared around the corner and wound her arms around his neck. “Hello lover.” She purred._

_Something was wrong, weird about him that night. His eyes fell upon hers as he grasped hold of her waist, and they were cold for a split second before he smiled, pulling her close, mashing her breasts against his chest. “Well you’re a sight for sore eyes, baby.” He lowered his head and thoroughly kissed her before asking, “How was your day?”_

_She must have imagined his mood when he came in, because he seemed perfectly normal. “Good. I did a little photo shoot with Adam today that I think I’ll be able to add to my portfolio. And I have a surprise for you in the kitchen.”_

_“You mean besides whatever smells so good in there? Something new?” He knew how much she loved to cook and to try new things, so he had given her cooking classes for Valentine's Day that year._

_“Mhmm.”_

_He followed her into the kitchen to see a little manilla folder on his plate. She pulled out some wine and worked to uncork it as he slid the photos out to take a look. When she brought the glasses to the table, the hard look was back in his eyes._

_"_ _Is something wrong?”_

_"What the fuck is this?” His jaw had flexed and his voice had been cold._

_“You were at the meeting with the photographer. It's the Inked Magazine spread. Ca--”_

_He slammed his hand onto the table and yelled, “Shut up! I didn’t say he could take pictures of you naked!”_

_“You know what the photos look like in Inked, Casey. They’re tastefully provocative. Nothing too revealing shows up in the magazine.” What on earth was wrong with him tonight?_

_“But you took your clothes off for HIM.” He sounded strange. “Did you fuck him too?”_

_That felt like a blow to the mid-section. “What? NO! of course not!”_

_The wine glass in front of her husband hit the wall next to her head before he advanced on her, grabbing her hair. “Lying whore!” His hand came back ready to slap her across the face…_

 

“NO! PLEASE! I’M NOT LYING! PLEASE CASEY, I WOULD NEVER...”

Richard was startled out of a sound sleep to Stevie’s cries of desperation and her thrashing around in bed trapped in a nightmare. He grasped her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake. “Stevie, wake up! It’s only a dream.” _Christ, what did that bastard do to her?_

Still half asleep, she screamed, “Don’t touch me!” as she abruptly pulled herself out of his arms and held her hands over her face defensively, sobbing.

His blood went cold. There was only one reason such a reaction could be natural to her. His blood boiled at the thought that she had ever needed to protect herself that way.  His temper would not improve the situation at hand. Scrubbing at his face he forced his temper down. "Sweetheart.” His voice was gentle. “You’re safe. It was just a dream.” He wanted to pull her into his arms but discression being the better part of valor in this case, he waited for her to make the first move and simply opened his arms to her. 

He didn’t have to wait long as she gasped, “I’m so sorry, Richard!” throwing herself into his ready embrace. She clung to him, feeling raw and sobbing into his chest, trembling in residual fear that the dream had caused. "I don't mean to saddle you with my baggage. I thought I was past all that." The pain in her voice ripped his heart out. He felt her shiver and pulled the blankets around them in an apparently well timed move as there was a quiet knock at the door before it opened. 

Catherine's troubled eyes appeared, and met Richard's with a question in them. He mouthed the words, "Nightmare." He watched Stevie's mother's eyes dim with understanding before she nodded as she closed the door. Through it he heard at least two separate male voices in addition to the mother's explaining. 

Whatever he did to her, he hated her ex, and he actually hated few people. Stroking her hair, holding her close, letting her wash the dream away with her tears he whispered, “Shhh, you don’t have to apologise. Allow me to make it better for you, in so much as I can. Take whatever comfort and strength you need from me and let it go.”  With all of his heart, he needed her to need him. And then it happened. She sagged against him, and let herself go and let him take care of her, holding nothing back. It was the first time he’d thought of Stevie as fragile in all of the time he’d known her. Even at Gemma's funeral she was nothing like this.

When the tears had subsided she tightened her arms around his middle. "Thank you." 

He pressed a kiss to her temple, also giving her a little squeeze in return. And while that felt importantly good, like he'd been given a gift, a single realization made him nauseous. “It was far worse than you’ve let on. Wasn't it?”

Stevie heard the strain in Richard’s voice when he spoke. The rush of love she felt every time she so much as thought about him washed over her like a soothing balm on her wounded heart. It seemed no matter how much she tried to leave it all in the past, she was never completely rid of the damage it did to her. That felt so unfair to this man, whose arms were around her protectively. Looking into his gorgeous face, with his troubled blue eyes, her answer came out on a sigh, Yes.” It wasn't as scary to admit that to him as she hand anticipated. And in fact, it was a relief that he knew. What she wondered, was how much he really wanted to know, and how difficult it would be to re-live every moment. But for him, she would do it if he asked, and perhaps that was what she needed to happen in order to get past it. 

There was no mistaking the haunted look in her eyes which was not unfamiliar to him. It was the way she looked when she’d met his gaze at Comic Con. Even then it pulled at hs heart. He had been drawn to her by his desire to be the one to protect her from whomever or whatever had hurt her so. Swallowing slowly, he processed her answer. He didn’t enjoy the fact that she hadn’t been altogether forthcoming about her past, only imparting the minimum information when confronted. Then again, he hadn’t actually been actively seeking answers. Admittedly, he was afraid of what she’d say, and what he would learn when he finally asked her to tell him. “Did you mean it when you said you’d tell me anything I wanted to know?”

Laying her hand along the side of his face, she nodded. “Yes, I meant it.”

He allowed himself to be lost in her big brown, trusting eyes for a moment. "I've been afraid to ask, because I am afraid of hurting you with the memories of things I know you would do anything to forget. That's part of why I haven't done it. I'll admit my own cowardice in the matter as well." His gaze slipped from hers at his admission. 

She leaned down so that she could see his face as smile graced her lips for a moment. "I knew...both parts of that actually. It's why I've waited for you to come to me. It's not a burden I would want to place on your shoulders unless you made the choice carry it." His brows shot up and he was winding up to protest that statement and she placed her finger tips on his lips. "Before you get indignant, let me finish?"

"Fine." His answer was short but his eyes had warmed. 

"I also know you well enough that it will hurt you to hear it. Hence I have waited for you to choose the time and place to ask me as well as how much you really want to know." She was calm, comforted by his embrace, the strength of his arms, the warmth of his skin against hers. 

He took her hand in his and brought her fingers to his lips. His voice was calm, soothing. “Then I would like to know everything.”

She rolled over to the nightstand on her side of the bed and pulled out the magazine with her article and photo spread published in it and set it on top. “The first time happened because of an argument about some photos taken of me for Inked Magazine. This very issue actually. You actually might want to know they exist before the gossips find them."

He noted she was on the cover looking fantastic and sexy. "Are they all that bad?"

"They're not Playboy, but they know their target audience and sex sells. I'm actually proud of them, which is why I kept this, in spite some of the memories attached to it."

"I'll have to have a look later then." His tone was a touch suggestive as he once again gathered her into his arms. "You were saying before I sidetracked you?"

She took a deep breath. "He came home from work…” She proceeded to tell him absolutely everything. All told, she could tell it had been as hard on Richard to hear it as it had been to relive the moments. She felt him tense when she did. But she didn't cry, and though at one point she saw simmering anger in his eyes, she knew she was safe with him. His hands were always gentle, caressing the skin of her shoulders, arms, back neck and hips.  It was soothing, keeping her just grounded enough in the present that the past didn't eat at her too much.  

“...And you know how it turned out in the end.” She felt very raw after that. 

She had not been wrong when she had guessed that the whole truth would hurt him. The abuse was as cruel and as calculating as it had been physically harmful to her. But he felt a deeper connection with her because she finally had let him in. “Yes, I do. I remembered you had said you hesitated sharing this because you didn’t want me to see how weak you were. The truth is, I admire you for your strength. Not many people could come out of a hell like that as whole as you are. You think you're a bit of a mess, but in reality you're far from it, because you did rise above it. In fact I’m even more humbled by the fact that in spite of all of that, you’re willing to get married again.” He kissed her lightly on her lips before a little glint appeared in his eyes. “Especially since you’d given it up for Lent.”

A giggle escaped her, “I can’t believe you even remember that.”

His fingers threaded through her hair as he tilted his head, “I was already half in love with you after the very first time I’d laid eyes on you.”

“You were not…” She rolled her eyes in disbelief. But the bashful little smile lent credibility to his casually spoken confession. “Really?”

“Really. I swear on my mother’s life, I most certainly was.” Leaning forward he touched his nose to hers. “Why is that so difficult to believe?”

“Because I was one of _hundreds_ of women you saw in that one day alone...The fact that you had remembered me at all was beyond my wildest dreams just months ago. I'm sure I had a higher liklihood of being struck by lightening than having _you_ fall in love with me. Howdoes that even happen?” As much as she’d become accustomed to being Richard’s fiancee, sometimes the gravity of that fact struck her out of the blue.

“Well I was bound to meet the right woman at some place and time, why not then? You were the right woman. I knew it the moment you walked away as I had not been able to stop feeling I’d lost something important by not getting your number.” Tears filled her eyes again, and he wasn’t entirely sure they were good ones or bad ones. She wasn’t prone to crying, so this was incredibly disconcerting for him. “Please help me understand what’s going on. Do you doubt that I love you?” That thought actually hurt. 

Catching that in his expression, she shook her head vehemently. “No! That’s not it. It just seems so random and crazy that’s all.”

“Well the way I’d felt when I first met you seemed a bit random and crazy. I’m not going to lie about that.” Taking a long, satisfying breath he continued. “But, that second time...in a completely different setting and place. Clearly someone up there was trying to tell me you were the one for me."

"Or that you needed to change hairdressers anyhow." She giggled.

"Oh, that must be it, give me that ring back."

"Nuh uh, you're stuck with me. Even if you are _OMG-it's-Richard Armitage_ to the rest of the world."

He gave her a playful shove at her fangirl imitation, which was a phenominon that confounded and embarrassed him still. "Oh that's right, you fancy yourself the comedian."

She fell back against the pillows as he crawled after her. "Hey, I'll have you know I'm funny!" 

Humor danced in his eyes. "Funny looking, maybe." His sensuous mouth was just inches from hers. 

"Well then judging by the impressive hard-on you're sporting there, ace, you must have a funny looking women kink." She felt hm take hold of her thigh and settle himself between her legs. "Good thing I also happen to have a thing for funny looking..." He pushed himself inside her. "Men...Oh GOD you feel so good." She gasped attempting to stifle her noise. 

He held himself buried within her as she squirmed with need beneath him. "Never doubt that I love you, and that I am absolutely certain I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."

 

 

 

 

The next morning she came out of the shower to Richard looking through the magazine she’d left out and reading the article that came with it. He had a look of pure amusement on his face as she dressed herself. “Having a good time there?”

“Oh you have no idea.” He set it in front of him. “First...can I keep this? Because, pardon my language but,  fucking hell you're hot. I think I’ll keep it around when we’re apart for...inspiration?” He sent her a naughty look through his eyelashes.

She giggled. “It’s all yours. I don’t want it back after the pages start sticking together.”

He pointed to one in particular, where she’s wearing a pair of low slung, ratty jeans, and nothing on top just covering her breasts with her hand with a 'come-hither' look on her face straight at the camera. “Jesus Christ you’re sexy. I can’t believe you’re mine sometimes...Oh stop looking so surprised. Yes I have moments like that too. Even though you seem to be entirely oblivious, I'm fully aware tha  there are men constantly circling you like hungry sharks." He pulled her into his lap. “I read the article as well. So you didn’t tell me you used to be a varsity cheerleader. Oh and valedictorian of your graduating class?”

She bit her lip with a shrug and mock innocence, “Oops?”

He chuckled, “Yes, there's that cheek I'm rather familiar with. Oops indeed. This totally ruins my image of you...okay not graduating with high honors part, I know how smart you are. But I’m going to need to ask your parents if there are photos of you in your cheerleading uniform for proof.”

“Why, are you planning to wank to those too?” She bounced up.

"The thought never even crossed my mind." His face was straight and serious while his eyes glittered with mischief.

"And why is that so hard to believe? I wasn't always covered in tattoos. But, I can do you one better than photos." She padded over to her closet and took a box off of the shelf with a little jump and then set it on the bed, lifting the lid." Inside was her neatly folded uniform.

 _Oh my..._ He lifted the top out of the box, holding it up. "Well now, does it still fit?" His wolfish grin made her stomach do a little flip. 

"Actually yes. And before you get any ideas, you dirty old man,  we don't have time for that right now."

"I suppose you're right. But we're taking this back to London with us." He added with a wink. 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. A Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience. I'm sorry it took me so long to post this. I had scrapped about 5 different versions of this chapter. I'm hoping it works for you as I appreciate your kind words, Kudos and just showing up and reading it.

He was a man who had grown accustomed to an intensely hectic lifestyle. There were constant demands on his time and when in the public eye, he had to be 'on' at all times, even if he didn't feel it. But he didn't hesitate to take the first opportunity he could to take Stevie upstairs in order to take a short nap and then get ready for the party that evening. Considering neither mother was willing to allow him or his bride to lift a finger in preparation, he didn't feel the least bit guilty. Then again, it was difficult to feel guilty when his hands were busy exploring those sexy curves, and his fingers were caressing the silky skin of the woman who had made him feel complete the moment she agreed to be his wife. While Stevie had closed herself away in the bathroom he continued to linger in bed for a bit, with his hands stacked behind his head. While they admittedly hadn't gotten any sleep, he certainly was far More relaxed.

He had an appreciation for the nearly ceremonial way she handled her personal grooming. There was always music and she was meticulous about everything, and didn't normally mind if what she called  _feminine mystique_ was all but naught most of the time. The way she figured it, his job blew that anyhow. He'd not given it much thought, to be honest. Though it made sense that rather old fashioned notion was largely why she'd always looked perfectly put together whenever he saw her. Special events changed the rules. She hid herself away in order to, as she put it, 'babe out' for him. 

As he rose, he lifted the undershirt that was folded next to him, and pulled it over his head. He had his own near-ritualistic grooming habits as well. The one thing that all of the extra-curricular media buzz pointed to about them being a couple had everything to do with the fact that they made a stunning couple. Though how he looked had a lot of help. Stevie had stopped him a number of times from being a fashion disaster. Once he was in his socks, shirt and trousers, he adjusted everything in front of the mirror once before slipping on his shoes. The music had changed from some 90s indie-singer/songwriter he couldn't name to a very familiar Billie Holiday song. Having been through her routine before he knew what was coming and chuckled to himself  

Colin knocked briefly, "Just making sure you're not all up on my sister in there." 

Closing his eyes, Richard shook his head with a wry smile in place. "So you do know how to knock."

A crooked grin flashed across Colin's face as he commented, "Well the odds were that at some point I'd walk in on something I couldn't un-see, weren't they? But in an odd way I thank you for that. I now know it is possible to have more sex while in a relationship with someone than while playing the field."

Richard siimply nodded understandingly. While he was not so much the player as his friends, he'd never met a woman with a libido quite like Stevie's. Though he was not about to elaborate on that point specifically with her older brother. 

_...aaAT LAAAAST...my lOOove has come aloooong..._

Both men exchanged a look before biting down on their amusement. Colin shook his head, "My sister knows how to do a lot of things and do them very well, but singing isn't one of them."

Flipping up his collar, Richard started deftly working on his tie. "And since I love your sister and also know where my bread is buttered I'm never going to say so, for as long as I live and breathe. But I might volunteer to sing the kids to sleep for the general safety of mankind." Richard's eyes danced with amusement.

Her brother just laughed, "You'll do fine as a husband I suspect then. Better than I did as a brother anyhow. Any opportunity to take the piss cannot go unobserved." Watching the actor tie his tie and smooth his shirt in preparation for of a celebration to welcome him into the family, he cleared his throat and rocked back onto his heels, looking suddenly uncomfortable.  "Anyhow, when I first met you, I was hard on you..."

Richard was humbled by Colin's gesture especially since Stevie had once told him how it was like moving a mountain to get Colin to admit he was wrong about anything."In your shoes, I doubt I'd have been any different. And after what she told me last night I know you have good reason to be protective of her."

The brother's eyes grew stormy, "Ah, I'm glad she finally told you, I told her she'd feel better if she did. If I ever see that bastard again, I'll be in jail, I promise you that."

Richard found himself reflexively clenching and releasing his right hand in response. "I'm right there with you, mate."

"Well then who's going to post bail?" Colin quirked an eyebrow, warming to the idea of the two of them kicking the everloving shit out of Casey.

"I will." Campbell joined them. There was a level of casually delivered menace in his tone that revealed what Stevie had implied Campbell was capable of. Richard had not actually witnessed or fully believed it until the moment he added, "And I'll help you hide the body no charge." Campbell was the more dangerous twin because he kept his temper that was more vicious hidden, unlike Colin who let it go often.  Richard could relate very well with the pressure cooker like scenario.

Breaking the tension Campbell leaned his head towards the bathroom door and winced.."Oi...Is she strangling a cat in there?"

Richard hid his amusement by shrugging on his jacket as the door opened. "I heard that, fucker." Stevie glared at her brothers. "And no one is going to jail on account of my ex-husband. All roads lead me to this place and I have a difficult time regretting a moment of it, knowing it might have altered the outcome."

As Richard turned around she was standing there in a knee length, black, silk, modernized cheongsam dress, with capped sleeves and a keyhole neckline leading to the stylized mandarin collar. The seams were edged with crimson piping that matched a demure spray of silk embroidered blossoms trailing from the bodice to the hem. Her hair was parted, glossy and smooth to a coil at the base of her neck. She was elegant, striking, and flawlessly put together. Inside and out, Stevie embodied everything he'd ever wanted in the woman he'd someday marry, and came at a time when he'd almost given up on that possibility. 

All three of them were staring at her saying nothing, but Richard held her gaze. "Stevie I..."

"Are you kids ready..." Royce was the first to break the spell when he entered and took in the scene, his voice trailed off.  With the way the man he'd only met a short time ago was gazing at his baby girl, who was now a grown woman, his heart was happy and heavy at he same time. He would no longer be the number one man in his Stephanie's life. Richard would love her and take care of her.  _This one is as it should have been the first time, and the only one I'll ever acknowledge._   _  
_

Stevie turned to her father and a smile bloomed across her face. "Do I look okay, Daddy?"

"My Stephanie..." The big man had tears in his eyes as he cupped her face in his large, broad palmed hands. "You have never been more beautiful than you are at this moment, except perhaps the first time I held you in my arms. And it goes beyond dresses, and make up and hairstyles." 

It was difficult not to succumb to sentiment in the moment for the three grown men who witnessed the intimate exchange between the two of them. Campbell was doing better than Colin, but only barely so, as he still was forced to cough in order to release the tightness in his own throat. 

Stevie's eyes were swimming as they landed again on Richard. He was such an incredible man, more than she'd ever dreamed possible. "He makes me happy, Daddy."

Royce turned to Richard with admiration on his face, "I know. And to me, that's everything." 

 

 

 

 

Stevie was surrounded by people who loved her and loved Richard. Her face was starting to ache from smiling so much. At one point, while she was talking to his mother and sister-in-law, he came up behind her and slipped his arm around her waist and leaned down, his sexy voice reached her ear like a caress, sending a wave of shivers through her. "For someone who didn't want a party, you appear to be enjoying yourself."

Margaret wistfully observed the way her son interacted with this unusual and striking woman. She had to admit, upon first glance, she wouldn't have guessed they were a good match. But she would soon learn how wrong she had been. Stevie loved her son the way her son deserved to be loved. The way her eyes lit up whenever Richard was around warmed her heart. And Stevie was real with everyone around her in the same manner Richard was.

She turned towards Richard and grinned up at him, "I am. I would have to be especially stubborn to avoid enjoying myself. When Colin snorted Stevie glared, "You...shut it."

Richard caught his mother watching him and gave her an inquisitive look to which she merely kissed his cheek and whispered, "I'm very glad you were patient enough to wait for her. You could not have made a better choice."

Britta seemed to alternate between flirting with Richard and Stevie's handsome friends, and chasing after his poor nephew Abe. She was particularly fascinated with Lee and stared up at him with saucer-sized eyes until he caught her and winked. "You must be Britta."

She bobbed back and forth between feet and swung her skirt so it flared out with each subsequent turn of her body. "Yes and Auntie Stevie is marrying Uncle Richard and I'm going to be the flower girl and everything."

"Awww, really? I've been bumped out of my job?" Lee chuckled as he leaned down to narrow his eyes at the little girl, "I was going to be the flower girl."

"Well you can't be a flower girl because you're a man and way too hairy. I get to wear a puffy princess dress! It wouldn't fit you anyhow, you're too big." Britta said with a nod of authority before running off after Martin and Amanda's kids. 

The group chuckled as Abe tried to sneak away before Britta noticed to no avail. "She's got me there, doesn't she. I didn't really want to shave my legs anyhow." Lee grinned. "But I want in on the Bachelor party plans." He nodded to Chris as he alleviated a passing tray of two glasses of wine, handing one to Stevie with a wink.

Richard had shifted uncomfortably as this was uncharted territory with Stevie. Annie would have ripped his head off and shit down his throat for entertaining the idea at all. He didn't feel like having that argument at the party if one was somehow unavoidable for its mere mention. Clearing his throat he simply said, "Well don't get carried away..." hoping they'd get the hint. 

"Are you kidding?" Stevie turned to stare at  Richard like he'd just sprouted a second head. "No no, by all means get carried away." She nodded up at Chris patting his arm. Chris rewarded her with a chuckle and a smile. "I mean don't get him arrested. Oh and any activity in which there's a risk of contracting a social disease is a big no-no. Also avoiding death is important to me."

Richard looked a little surprised. "Really?" People around them weren't sure what was more amusing, his facial expression or the fact that she seemed completely oblivious to the idea that there was a possibility that she would be against that sort of thing. 

"Well, yes, I don't really think you'd look as well in the wedding photos if you were a corpse." Dipping her head she made a face into her wine glass as she took a drink. "Oh...this is good. I suppose it's bad form to get shitfaced at your own engagement party?" 

Richard found her hard to follow when she'd had a few in her. "Well, I get that. What I meant was that you really don't mind if I have a bachelor party?"

"I'm going to try really hard not to be insulted just now. But no I sincerely don't mind, this isn't a land mine I just tossed in front of you. I would prefer never and I mean never... to hear the gory details, mind you." She shook her head and smoothed her hand over Richard's tie before she turned to Amanda, "I mean I don't know what the girls have in mind for me..."

Amanda piped up, “Oh we’re going to church and then taking knitting classes.” 

“Well then I’m joining the guys.” Stevie looked alarmed.

Ben leaned down and grinned, "Excellent, you can be my date." 

Stevie laced her arm through Ben's, "Fine but you need a different date for the wedding, since I've kind of got a pretty hot one." She nudged Ben grinning at Richard. 

Lee sighed loudly shooting a pointed look at Richard, hoping to rile him up, "Oh puke, seriously Stevie, you should be sensitive to use men who will be in mourning the day you're officially off the market." 

Richard mockingly glared. "Sod off, you still can't have her number."

"Heh, can't blame a guy for trying, right Tom?" Lee grabbed another glass of wine. 

Tom grinned broadly, "Speak for yourself. I'm off the market at the moment."

"Fuck me, you too? really? Does Luke know yet?"

Richard's smile broadened at what he saw in Tom's entire demeanor, "So I take it that things between you and Vaughn are good then? Too bad she can't be here. Is she going to be able to make it for the wedding?"

"Yes, she gets a little break before auditions for the next show. She'll be here over the holidays."

Ben grabbed his own glass of wine and slapped Lee on the shoulder, "Come, friend, we'll go get pissed together as it seems we bachelors are an endangered species."

"Oh alright, but I'm not kissing you at midnight, no matter how lonely I am." 

 

_The adults in the room didn't notice the growing argument between Britta and Abe. "I can too call him Uncle Richard." The little girl fumed._

 

"Shit, Hiddles has a girlfriend he's bringing home to mom? Will she survive your overly protective sisters?" Amanda nudged him.

 

 _"But he's MY Uncle Richard and not YOURS!"_ _He stomped his foot defiantly._

 _"I can so call him that, he said I could. HE'S marrying MY Auntie Stevie. But I won't be your friend ever." To punctuate the insult she stuck her tongue out at him._

_"So? You're a stupid dumb girl anyways." Abe's stormy face closely resembled his uncle's at that moment._

 

Stevie chimed in. "I can't imagine anyone not liking her to be honest."

At this point the volume of the children was loud enough that when Britta replied, "OH YEAH? WELL MY UNCLE RICHARD SAID HE AND MY AUNTIE STEVIE WERE GIVING ME A BABY COUSIN AND I'M NOT SHARING HER WITH YOU!"

This of course was delivered quite clearly, as the five-year-old's ability to project her voice was unmatched, at a well-timed lull in conversation. All eyes were on Richard and Stevie.

"Stevie, are you pregnant?" Liz gasped.

 

 

That story would likely haunt Britta when she was old enough to be tortured by it. Glad to be home, there was a phone call made to Carol, as much to her dismay, Richard had insisted that they do things as a normal couple would and have engagement photos along with an announcement put in the local paper in Leicester, where both sets of parents live before any other confirmation was made. 

She and Richard had a go-round about letting Kevin handle calling the vendors. “I’m not letting a twenty-something confirmed  bachelor plan our wedding for me.” She breezed through the flat to unpack.

“Well I beg your pardon for wanting to ease your burden a bit by suggesting you have help making a few phone calls.” He sat down heavily on the side of the bed and frowned up at her In frustration. If it was this stressful already he couldn’t imagine what it will be like the week leading up to it. He was thankful that he only had six weeks to endure. “It’s not as if I need him much at this moment due to having a single project at a stationary location. You could simply give him a list of information to garner from each vendor and he can get all of that for you so that you can make a perfectly informed decision on the matter. He does have some experience with that and scheduling.” 

Pacing the room as he spoke, her heart sank. “Fuck...I’m a bridezilla…I’m totally getting my diva on aren’t I?” 

He laughed. “Hardly. Though you need to come here and stop whirling around the room like a dervish. You’re stressing me out.”

She shoved him so he landed flat on his back and she climbed onto him. “I can think of a really great way to relieve stress.”

With an incredibly suggestive grin and a tone of voice to match it he said, “If it involves you in that cheerleader uniform, little white socks and no knickers, I’m sold."

 

 

The euphoria of the weekend had come to an end by the time Richard had to take Stevie to the airport to return to New York. He had no idea what to say or do to make things better quickly enough before she went through airport security. Why did he have to pick a fight with Stevie just before she was about to leave? There were tears in her eyes that she was trying not to let free when she turned her head to him to say, "I love you. I'll call you when I land." The uncertainty in her eyes before she kissed his cheek left him gutted. She turned away towards the roped off area with her passport and ticket in hand. 

The pain he saw in her eyes, and the awfulness he felt between them tossed all thoughts of where he was, and the fact that Heathrow Airport was about as 'in public' as one could get in all of London when his fingers laced around her wrist, stopping her movement as he pulled her roughly against him. His mouth abruptly descended on hers in a kiss which was as much to communicate the despair he felt over her leaving as it was his regret for his behavior. He didn't care one bit that this could very well make headlines by the next day and even add to the current speculation behind photos taken of Stevie out at the Viper Room while she was at a shoot in L.A. Those photos were what had started the argument.

As their lips parted he searched her face. "Forgive me, I beg you. You did not deserve any of that."

"Of course I forgive you. I understand. And I'm sorry for the mess it created anyhow."

"It’s not your fault. I honestly know that. I love you so much. We're okay?" 

"Always. Anyhow, we'd better be since I handed the lot of the invitations to Kevin to put in the mail as he left this morning."

 

 

He still felt uneasy by the time he’d met Martin for dinner. Martin watched his rather distracted friend poke at his food. "You look a bit down in the mouth today. Miss her already? You just dropped her at the airport three hours ago." 

"Yeah well not before I was a jealous prick first." 

Martin frowned. "Okay...I cannot possibly imagine what Stevie would have done that would put you in such a position in the first place."

"I didn't say I was being fair about it. She was on a job last week in L.A. with Linkin Park. She was very excited to meet them and was invited out afterwards for a few drinks. None of that was a problem, she even had asked if I minded before she agreed to go." Richard rubbed his jaw wishing he smoked at that moment and settled for ordering another drink. 

Sitting back, Martin watched his friend's discomfort with quiet interest. He'd been secretly wondering when the nature of her job would bother Richard. "I'm assuming there's more to this story, since you're not generally unreasonable and Stevie was respectful."

"Oh Carol sent me links to some photos that hit the usual places I don't ever want to look." Setting his phone down, he slid it across to Martin. 

Martin's eyebrows rose as he picked it up. The headline read, _Richard's Party Girl._  Glossing over what passes for an article claiming to have exclusive photos of Stevie as her wild side is dying to get out. It paints Richard as classy and insunuates that Stevie might be getting bored. They reference her time out with 30 Seconds to Mars, as well to support their point. 

He glanced at the photos for a moment. "Okay so apart from that Chester Bloke clearly hanging all over her in the one photo, and that Stevie is bloody sexy without even trying and men gravitate towards her the way women do to you, and that she's at the Viper Room...So why were you particularly jealous? Apart from the hyperbolic captions and unfounded inferences, that is."

Scrubbing his face with his hands, Richard groaned, "That was enough. I sometimes wonder what she's doing with me. I'm...dull."

"Well dull as in dim witted, I'll give you that."

“You know what I mean.”

 Grinning, catching Richard's glare he elaborated. “Okay, look, you are aware that her editorial work almost exclusively deals with men right? I think you’re just dealing with the stress of separation. Amanda and I go through it every single time we have to do it. I wish I could tell you it gets a lot easier."

Needing something to do with his hands besides tugging at his beard again, Richard fiddled with his drink coaster. "She seems to handle it so much better than I do."

"Oh wait a minute. You think she never gets jealous, don't you?" 

Richard's eyes cut to Martin's with surprise, "Meaning what? She's said things to you about it?" 

"Yes we girl talk whilst we get our pedicures done." Martin rolled his eyes at him in disbelief. "Jesus, Rich, this thing with Stevie's got your knickers all up in a twist, doesn't it? She tells Amanda things, and sometimes Amanda comes to me so that she can see what I think from a guy's perspective. She’s just trying not to drive you mad while she becomes accustomed to it all. By the way, she’s incredibly anxious about the first time she’ll see you do a stage kiss since you’ve been together.”

That possibility hadn’t even occurred to him. “Yes, but she has nothing to worry about honestly.”

“Exactly, and neither do you. I swear on my daughter's life. You need to make it better, start by sending flowers and then grovel a lot." 

 

 

 

Lee had picked Stevie up at the airport and taken her to lunch before taking her home and had insisted on carrying her luggage for her. “Hey, this suitcase is as big as you are. Rich isn't in there is he?"

"Ha ha. You offered, muscles." 

Clearing his throat and lowering his voice he said, "I am terribly manly aren't I?" Getting Stevie to giggle. He'd sensed she was a bit off since he'd picked her up. "So did you see that the photo of you and Richard at the airport has gone viral?”

“Yes, before I even landed. People really need a life so they can stop being so interested in mine.” Turning to the island in her kitchen she spotted the vase full of lovely spray of lavendar." Picking up the card that said,   _I love you ! --Richard._  She grinned broadly, "How sweet! We had a bit of a falling out over the photos on Buzz.”

“He said as much. If you want to throw him over, I’m still available.” Lee winked.

She picked up the phone and called Richard. His voice held a smile when he answered, “Hello.”

“I’m home safe. Though our flower girl’s understudy keeps hitting on me.”

 “Why am I not shocked. Get your own woman, asshole." Lee just laughed.

 “I got your flowers, they’re so beautiful!"

 There was a long pause. “I didn't get you flowers.”

 “Richard they’re sitting right here, the card is with it.”

 “I’m telling you as much as I'd like to take credit for that, I didn’t get you flowers. I admit I was intending to, but I was going to have them sent to the salon for you.  You say they’re in the apartment when you arrived?”

 “Yes. Did Kevin or Carol bring them in?”

 “They’re both in London still. Sweetheart? Is Lee still there?"

Stevie's face went pale as her eyes met Lee's. "y-yes."

"I want you to listen to me carefully. You're going to hang up the phone, and you're going to immediately call the police. I'll call Lee straight away to keep your line open." 

 

 


	20. Separation Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. I have some of the major story points planned but my working them out just right has been a bit of a struggle.

While Richard was peripherally aware that there were some unintended, negative consequences for his growing success in his career, he never expected to be faced with something such as this. Though there was no direct threat made, Detective Wilde told them that hey have to consider the implied threat of someone making it known that they'd been inside of the New York apartment uninvited, and that they knew when Stevie was away, when she'd be home and that she'd be returning home alone. He thanked his lucky stars that Lee was with her when she'd discovered the vase of flowers. It remained to be seen whether nor not the incident was isolated. If not, he was told they could expect that the next one would reveal more about the intentions behind it. Due Richard's level of celebrity and the fact that this was directed at Stevie did not bode well.

Regardless, there was really no way a man could prepare himself to receive the news that his fiancee, in all likelihood, had a stalker. Expecting him to digest that bit of information well was unreasonable. Though he had remained calm so as not to cause undue stress for her. The fact that Richard had an ocean between himself and Stevie and that she was not inclined to stay anywhere but at home, in spite of the possible personal risk she took in doing so pushed him well beyond the limits of his already unraveling self control. It might not have been so bad if he were able to have this conversation at his own flat. But until he could have it re-keyed, he was staying with Campbell and Liz. A public meltdown might have been inevitable, and no one would fault him under the circumstances, but that only added to the stress of the situation. 

“Fucking hell! I cannot believe you’re choosing to be so utterly stubborn about this.” It was all he could do not to throw his phone across the room in frustration. “Could you put Lee on please?” 

Campbell set a glass of wine in front of his brother-in-law, watching him deal with this nightmarish situation. From nearly three-thousand miles away, Richard was taking care of things in short order. He called Kevin to make sure the London and New York apartments were completely re-keyed and that was after he gave the Detective information on everyone who'd ever had keys. If he at any time had doubts about that Richard would be available to his sister considering his hectic schedule, those were made null that evening.

“This is nothing short of my worst nightmare. Please try to talk some sense into her...fine if she’ll let you stay there that will likely have to do. I’m over two-thousand miles away and she has no idea what this...Okay maybe she does..." He wanted to hit his head on the counter top. When Lee told him she was crying the temper drained away. _Some protector I make..._ "Christ I didn’t mean to make her cry, put her on again.” Disgusted with himself, Richard picked up his wine glass taking an uncharacteristically long drink.  

“I have stronger things in the liquor cabinet.” Campbell offered sympathetically. 

Scrubbing his face with his hand, Richard sighed, “It entirely depends on whether or not I can...Sweetheart? Please don’t cry.” His heart broke hearing the stifled sobs. “I’m sorry. I’m just...out of my mind worried, but I shouldn't be yelling at you...if anything ever happened to you that would end me. Promise me you’ll not go home without Lee there? I need you to promise."

When Campbell watched Richard's face relax he guessed that Stevie gave him the promise that he was looking for. "I cannot promise you I won't worry. Forgive me for being so high handed...I'm just...I wish I were with you...I love you too” He had to swallow back panic as he heard the line go quiet on the other end.

“I could see if Colin can come down and stay too if you like.”

“I don’t know if it would help, to be honest. I just wish I was there right now.” Richard drained the contents of the wine glass and accepted the contents of the other. "Thanks."

"I'm worried too." Campbell admitted while he studied his future brother-in-law carefully.

"Well if she weren't so stubborn..."

For a fraction of a second, humor flickered in Campbell's eyes. "Well if this is the first you're realizing that one, mate, heaven help you."

Richard chuckled humorlessly. "No, it's bloody well not. It doesn't help that we had a bit of a falling out before she left..."

"No relationship is completely without misunderstanding. Ask Liz what it's like to be married to a Goodwin. You can rely on her stubbornness to be sure she’ll stubbornly love you even if you’re not being or feeling particularly lovable."

 

 

 

Lee was settling his stuff in the guest room when he'd heard Stevie's cell phone ring. She answered it on speaker phone and hit record on the recording device as she had been instructed by the police. _Good girl._ Lee thought as he came out into the main room.

"What the fuck Stevie? After three years, I'm being accused of stalking you?" 

Her insides curled and she had to force herself to not take a step back at the sound of her voice, but she forced herself to sound glib. "Oh well hello to you too Casey. I’m surprised you have your dick out of your girlfriend long enough to bother to call me. I’d say it’s actually first for you." 

Lee actually had to clap his hand over his mouth. _If you weren't marrying my best friend..._

"Don't play stupid with me. Why the fuck are the police contact me to question me? What did you say to them? Tara's not speaking to me now because of it." 

"Well good on her, maybe she'll be spared the nightmare that comes with making the mistake of trusting you."

"You fucking bitch, you always were jealous of her."  As a frown formed on Lee’s face,  he looked like he was about to say something when Stevie shook her head.

"Okay Casey, I won't allow you to speak that way to me, so if you wished to actually accomplish something by calling I suggest you be on your best behavior." She took a breath and stayed calm, he hated it when she did while he was losing his shit.

"How did I end up on a suspect list for stalking you when I'm nowhere near you?"

"They wanted to know if I had any exes. I gave them your name. I figured they'd notice you were three thousand miles away and leave you alone. If it's not you, then you have nothing to worry about. But I never inferred that you were my stalker."

"Bullshit, you're just fucking with me to try to ruin my life now that you’re fucking that movie star. Does he know what a boring lay you are yet? Maybe your nasty cunt will kill his baby too and he'll get tired of you like I did and then who will have the last laugh you little bitch!"

Lee watched Stevie's face fall before he decided he'd had enough. "And I'm done listening to your pin-headed ex."

"Who the fuck are you?"

His body was vibrating with anger. "Your worst nightmare if you don't shut the fuck up. Casey...That's your name isn't it? This will the last time you'll be contacting Stevie ever again, do you understand? If you so much as think her name again I'll make your life a living hell. And I have the money, and the contacts to do so."

“Oh is that some kind of threat?”

“It a warning, and the only one you’ll get.”

Lee hung the phone up staring at a wide-eyed Stevie. Then he ended the recording. Her face was white, and suddenly she swept her arms across the kitchen counter, sending the vase of flowers crashing to the floor before she herself sank into a ball of sobs. The anger would have to come later, he realized as he scooped her up into  his arms carrying her over to the sofa. He took a seat, settling her on his lap against him as she let the grief, fear and anger out.

Lee became acutely aware of why Richard fell for her so quickly and completely. She felt small and sweet curled against him, clutching his shirt, with her face buried against his chest. It reminded him of another time and another woman. And while that woman was no longer in his life, the effect she had on him remained. He found he liked playing the part of the protector in someone's life. Once Stevie had cried herself to sleep, he shifted her to the sofa and covered her with the throw blanket before heading over to clean up the vase, water and flowers. Then Lee took a moment to text Richard. 

_L--Do you have a moment?_

_R--Sure what's up_

_L--I'll call you._  

Lee tucked himself into the guest room while he played back the phone call for Richard. He had a feeling he knew what the reaction would be, but he felt his friend needed to know what had been happening so he didn't feel completely isolated from Stevie at the moment. There was silence at the other end of the line, knowing that Richard needed a moment to reign in his temper.

"How is she now?" Though his voice sounded strained, Lee know that the worst had passed. 

"She sent the vase of flowers crashing to the kitchen floor and cried for awhile. She's asleep on the sofa now, wore herself out."

“I feel so bloody helpless and I can’t stand it.” 

Lee heard the catch in his friend’s voice and it nearly killed him. “Well I’m with her until we both get on the plane to London. And then she’ll be safely with you.”  

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, work _had_ taken her mind off of the trouble she’d had the day before. She was finishing up her day when Michael and Lee came back to the break area. “So far so good, no weird visits.” Michael said. “Richard only called me four times to be sure.” He and Lee exchanged a look.

Stevie’s head came up to look at both men with a scowl. “And I was led to believe he’d calmed down a bit since he only texted me normal things...” She dug through the refrigerator to repack her lunch bag with food that she hadn't touched. 

"You can't blame the man for worrying but also not wanting to stress you out more than you are. Maybe you need to schedule a massage for when you arrive in London." Michael suggested while leafing through a stack of mail on his desk. 

She smiled a bit. "I don't blame him for worrying. If the roles were reversed...I'd be a wreck. It just pisses me off that he has this to deal with during tech week. I feel awful about that."

Lee shook his head. "This isn't something you did to him, you know."

As Michael finally got to the bottom of the stack, he remembered one in particular that the receptionist had brought back with Stevie's name on it. “Oh this came for you I guess.” 

“Oh?” Judging by the shape and size, there were likely photos for her portfolio But she couldn’t think of which shoot they'd come from. Pulling it open, she saw a dozen black and white photos and they weren't proofs. She pulled it open and leafed through the photos. She immediately felt sick.  _How on earth did someone get photos of us..._

Lee watched her smile die out in her eyes as the blood drained from her face. “Stevie?”

“Is the offer still open to stay at your place?” She couldn’t keep her voice steady.

“Of course. I know Richard would feel better about it. Why?”

“Because there are cameras hidden in our bedroom.”  

 

  

 

When Carol and Kevin arrived at Campbell Goodwin’s house, they couldn’t help but notice Richard’s drawn face. Carol touched his arm. “What’s going on? The police contacted both Kevin and me today. Asking us where we were yesterday.”

Richard gestured for them to come inside, as Campbell took coats and Liz was taking children upstairs to bed. Once the door was shut, Richard shook his head. “Stevie has a stalker.” He took a moment to fill them both in on the situation. Carol became outraged over the thought of photos and video of Richard and Stevie's most personal moments leaking to the public. 

After everyone was seated around the dining room table as Liz brought drinks for everyone before joining them. Detective Wilde’s voice was aggravatingly calm and apologetic as it came through the speaker. Stevie uploaded the photos and sent them to Richard as he was frowning at his computer screen. “Stevie, do I have permission to show these to Carol...as much as I’d rather not scar her for life...she needs to know what she’s going to be looking for if they do go public."

Carol was wonderful and right around age 50, and had seen so much having worked for many actors in her lifetime. “Oh shut it, I’ve seen my share of bare arses in my lifetime. Stevie I can do a Google search with the photos, just so make sure they haven’t landed places as of yet.”

“Fuck, do you think whoever it is would do that?” Stevie sounded panicked and worn out. 

“We have to assume that is the implied threat here. We cannot be too careful. If I find them, we will sick the lawyers on them so that we can do damage control straight away so we can protect your privacy."

“Okay, Carol, have at them.  I feel so violated...God I can’t believe this is happening..."

Campbell watched as Richard's gaze rested on Kevin who had been on the phone with Sawyer’s agency asking numerous questions. When he hung up the phone, he shook his head.

“What?” Richard asked.

“He was fired shortly after you fired him. They haven’t seen him since. Though since they’re afraid of a lawsuit, they’ll assist Carol in making sure none of the images or video hit the media.”

Richard scrubbed his face with his hands as he heard Stevie’s voice, “So what now?”

“I’ll contact the police there, and relay the case information. You’ll need your flat searched for cameras and other recording devices. Since Ms. Goodwin has plans to stay with Mr. Pace we have time to make sure the loft is clean as well. I’ll have the images faxed over first thing.”

That wasn't good enough for him. "Is Stevie in any danger?" Richard's gaze dropped to the table in front of him as he'd asked that.  

"That's a tough call. If you want my gut feeling, I think we need to assume she is."

Richard's heart sank, he was terrified and angry. "So what the fuck are you going to do about it?"

Stevie's voice came through, "Richard, please try to calm down..."

"No, I've had it up to here with trying to be calm about this. I want you on the next flight to London."

"Richard, I still have to work tomorrow for the last time in New York for two months, you can’t be serious."

Richard completely lost it and shouted at the phone. “You’re right, I must be out of my bloody mind to want you out of harm’s way and to come a couple of days early. What the fuck was I thinking?” A baby's wail sent Liz upstairs and made Richard cringe.

Standing, he and paced the room, throwing his hands up. "Do what you want, not like I get a say in the matter."

"That's entirely unfair. You're in London due to your commitments.  And I'm not shouting the roof off over it because I understand. I'm here due to mine. Mine are no less important than yours are."

Richard heard tears in Stevie's voice and felt like a complete asshole. _God dammit_...Liz rejoined them and Richard's eyes met hers. "Sorry about that." 

Throwing her arms around him, Liz gave him a hug that he very much needed. "I cannot fault you for being upset, Richard."

Campbell shook his head, "I'm going to side with Richard on this, Stevie. You need to be here, or I will go crazy myself. Don't make me send Colin to get you." 

Just then Michael's voice came through. "Stevie will take tomorrow off if I have to fire her to do it."

 

 

 

 

Richard was at baggage claim when Stevie and Lee arrived. When Lee saw the urgency in her eyes, he relieved her of her carry on and said, "Go on, I'll catch up."

Stevie took off running through the crowd of passengers as Richard's eyes were searching for her among them. He had never been more happy to see her in his life as she launched herself into his arms as he folded her into a bone-crushing hug. Since the minor altercation over speaker phone, he and Stevie had made amends. but it felt much better to be with her. 

Lee hugged Richard. "Hey, I delivered the woman. I'd say you owe me drinks tonight."

Sighing Richard replied, "You've been enjoying said woman's cooking, so I doubt you've been put out too much." 

"Jesus, you're not kidding, though I don't know  how you're not fat by now."

Richard's grin was cheeky as he winked at his Fiancee. "We work off the calories, of course." 

"I didn't just hear that." Campbell groaned. "Come on you guys, Mum and Dad are dying to see for themselves that Stevie is okay." 

"Well then I guess we have no choice but to raid your liquor cabinet?" Lee clapped Cam on the shoulder as the men all chuckled. It was the first time Richard had genuinely felt like laughing in days.

Though Royce had not wanted to let go of his daughter the moment he'd put his arms around her. Richard had seemed restless until she had returned to his side on Campbell's sofa. The younger man had his arm protectively around his little girl, who was glued to him in return. There was that moment in a father's life when he realized that he was no longer the most important man in her life. Someone else filled the position as her hero and protector. 

Richard turned his head and kissed the top of Stevie's head, drawing in the ever-welcome and familiar scent of warm vanilla and cinnamon. As he rested his cheek against her forehead, he caught Royce's eyes on him. The moment brought him back to the first time he'd been with Stevie's father. It was a time of being sized up as a suitable man for Stevie. The way that Royce was looking at him at the current moment was one of admiration, and respect punctuated by a nod and a slight raise of his glass towards Richard. During this rather stressful time, it felt very good to have that from him. 

The discussion turned to more positive things, including the fact that Liz and Amanda were dragging Stevie out the next day for an appointment with the dress designer. Stevie was only half paying attention, completely absorbed in the feel of sharing space with Richard after all that had happened.

Their lovemaking that night was one borne of mutual need for reassurance, and escape from the world around them. It was needy, passionate, exahausting to the point where they fell asleep still joined. 

 

 

 

The two days leading up to opening night were uneventful as far as her stalker was concerned. The weekend would go fast and Stevie had a grand time watching Richard with his fans by the stage door.

On the second night of performances, Richard found Stevie in the dressing room perched on the counter along the mirror, with her boot-clad legs crossed, with the sweetest little smile on her lips. She recognized the intensity in his eyes and knew the character was still in his head. Richard was left shattered after his shows and he'd told Stevie that she brought him back to himself. This had been a two show day. And due to his state of mind, he kept himself a few steps away from her for a moment. "Hello sweetheart." She whispered. "What can I do for you?"

A predatory light flickered through his eyes as he abruptly said, "Unbutton your blouse."

Sparks of nervous arousal jumped through her as she did as she glanced down to do as he asked, before returning her gaze to his.

"Does that bra clasp in the front?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Open it and show me those tits of yours like a good girl." 

As she did, he lowered his pants and removed the rest of his costume before closing the distance between them. As she uncrossed her legs, he grabbed ahold of her thighs and parted them, pulling her forward. As he reached up her skirt and found she was not wearing knickers, his wolfish grin broke through the character and brought Richard back to her as he gathered her to him. She insistently hooked her legs around his hips as he filled her. "Oh Stevie...I need you more than you could ever possbly understand." He moaned into her neck as their more carnal needs overtook them. Thus began an unspoken agreement for her to meet him in his dressing room after the last show. 

 

 

A couple of things were happening opening weekend. One was the fact that photos of Stevie and Richard, lip-locked at the airport were everywhere. This was not so bad as their official engagement photos would be released as the announcement hit the Sunday papers via the excited mothers. The second was that there was a gathering planned at the end of opening weekend, the cast, crew and their guests were planning a party at the bar downstairs later. Stevie was excited to share her enthusiasm for the show with the rest of the cast.

She was sitting on the counter top of Richard's dressing room as usual, waiting to 'unwind' him when the door opened. "Oh Hello! Is it over already? I must have lost track of the time." As she glanced up she gasped, a bit startled by the unfamiliar face that was there. "Gosh you startled me, I was just expecting Richard. I hope I didn't offend you. If you're needing to speak to him, you're obviously a bit early." 

The dark, rather hostile pair of eyes raked over her for a moment, leaving her uneasy. "Oh, this won't take long..." With that, he locked the door. 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 


	21. Fight or Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Trigger Warning! At the risk of putting a spoiler here I feel I need to give a heads up to you due to the subject matter. Please, if you are at all sensitive, approach this chapter with caution if you approach it at all. It is not my intention to do harm to my wonderful readers.

Face to face with her stalker, the metallic click-thunk of the lock being tripped would be  a sound that haunted her nightmares for the rest of her life. Menacing eyes, that were black with hate, drilled straight into her soul turning her blood to ice. Until that moment, Stevie would not have been able to explain the difference between fear and terror. Terror was separate phenomenon unto itself, that went far deeper than a simple emotional response. And it perfectly described what she was experiencing as she was certain she lacked the ability to prevent whatever inevitable harm this man meant to inflict upon her.  _  
_

His voice was not loud, but the accusation in it lashed out at her like the sharp crack of a whip. "You! You ruined my life you little bitch!" 

Wracking her brain to try to figure out exactly who this person was she simply shook her head as he closed the distance between them. "I don't know who you are, please, if I've done something..." _Stall, your life depends on it, Stevie._ She did recognize what a man's face looked like when he wound up to backhand a woman. She was ready for the blow when it came, thought the damage was no less as a result. She fell back against the mirror, feeling the glass shatter behind her a scant moment before she felt a sickeningly familiar, liquidy warmth spread from the point of impact, running down her scalp. Some of the contents of the surface she was seated upon, letters, tissues and other personal items clattered to the floor. 

"Shut up! I told him you were nothing but trouble, trashy, beneath him...And he didn't care." His hands were like vice grips bruising her bare thighs. "I'd been with him when he was absolutely nothing, supported him, devoted my life to him! And you took everything I'd worked for...for him...you took what was mine!"

 _Sawyer?_ She didn't dare speak. He very much reminded her of a jilted lover. _This is personal...and he will hurt me before anyone can get here. Please dear God don't let Richard find me dead._ "All you had to do was spread your legs for him..." He jerked her thighs apart. "...and he was prepared to throw it all away to get his dick in you! Somehow he was snared by what should have been nothing but a hot piece of ass."

Whether or not he intended to actually kill her in the end, that was not everything he'd intended to do to her. The ugliness of the moment held her paralyzed as she was struck by the vile realization of what was coming. With little difficulty, he removed the barrier between them that was his belt and zipper with one hand while his other hand held her neck so that he'd pinned her against the jagged mirror. If she struggled, she had no doubt that he could and would easily crush her windpipe. Strangling on a sob, Stevie begged. "Please don't do this!"

"I wonder what's so special about fucking you...I'll consider it my severance package." As he ground out those words, he roughly yanked her forward shoving her skirt up. His laugh filled the room as he'd discovered her original purpose for being Richard's dressing room. "Oh now what's this? Such a little tart you are. You were all ready for him weren't you? Such a shame the great Mr. Richard Armitage is going to have to wait his turn this time!"

 

 

 

 

 

The guttural howl of pain which emanated from the dressing room area backstage could be heard in the theatre as the cast members had taken their final bow. As Martin and Amanda had slipped out to the hallway area to meet up with Richard and Stevie, they'd heard it as well.

Martin paused, "Now what do you suppose that was?"

"Sounded like a wounded animal." Amanda frowned, but both quickened their pace towards the source. 

Richard, who was still half alive from having done two shows that day, was instantly on high alert as Ola and other security appeared around the corner, running towards the noise. The slamming of a fire exit door was heard just as the building's alarm was tripped. 

In the confusion, Richard spotted a trail of blood and man-sized bloody footprints going from his dressing room to the door which was now banging around open in the wind. As people scrambled around them a sudden panic washed over him.  _Stevie!_

Before Ola could stop him from entering the room he had thrown the door open. On the floor, immediately in front of him, half underneath dressing table was a scattering of items and a sizable pool of blood from which drag marks and hand prints lead to the wall opposite the doorway where a ghastly pale Stevie was sitting, hugging her legs, visibly shaking. The entire scene looked very much like the aftermath of a horror movie, as blood was streaked down the side of Stevie's face. Adding to the effect was the letter opener that Richard had on the dressing table, clutched tightly in Stevie's right hand, clearly used as a makeshift weapon as it and her hand dripped with blood.

"Oh my God, Stevie! What the hell happened?" Her eyes cut to his face, wide, and filled with absolute terror. More so than the macabre scene that went with it, that horrified look on her face scared him half to death. He was fairly certain that while she was staring up at his face, she wasn't actually looking at him. 

Ola had stopped just at the doorway taking in the situation. Noting the presence of a very horrified Martin and Amanda he softly said, "Are you okay to stay with them? I'll need to secure the building. I'll lead the police and the rescue here when they arrive."

Stevie knew he was there, instantly she knew. His presence filled a room. Though she was trapped in the memory of what had just taken place. What had felt like it had taken a lifetime, had been over in a matter of minutes. And in those few minutes, her sense of reality would be shattered to bits. Vivid flashes of pain, helplessness, images, smells and sounds kept repeating themselves in her mind. But if she had been asked to relay the story in chronological order, she wouldn't have been able to do it. The mind was a funny thing when forced to deal with trauma. 

Richard crouched in front of her reaching out. Her reaction was so violent it had startled him when she pulled back from him making herself as small as possible, screaming in a tortured tone, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

A sick feeling settled in his stomach. "I'm...I'm sorry I won't touch you...I just wanted to see where you were hurt...There's so much blood...sweetheart?" 

Her eyes suddenly cut to his face as she reached for him. Relief washed over her as she choked on a sob, "Richard? Oh my god I'm so sorry...He...he was here..." Now in the security of his arms, relief washed over her, as she clung to him. 

As he folded his arms around her he could feel her shaking as held her protectively wanting to take away whatever she'd just been through. "I've got you, whomever it was is gone. They're looking for him now. Where are you hurt? The blood..." 

"M-mostly his. I got blood on your nice letter opener. I'm sorry. My head hit the mirror..." Her voice was muffled by his shirt until she gasped and looked up at him, "I'm getting you dirty...such a mess."

Ignoring the blood, his hand cupped the side of her face soothingly, "Shhh, I clean up quite well." He forced his voice to remain calm. "Sweetheart, do you know who it was?" 

"I think I do. B-but you can see for yourself."

His brows knit in confusion, "How can I do that?"

"While he...while..." Her voice broke. The word, that horrible word that would make her nightmares his as well. She couldn't force it from her mouth. Instead, she took a moment before saying, "Anyways, I stole his wallet." She reached for it and held it up for him.

Richard let go of her to look inside for the I.D. His stomach twisted as his mind raced... _I'll kill him with my bare hands_...Richard thought he was going to vomit. There was one thing he would imagine a man could do that would traumatize a woman to the point at which he'd found Stevie. _Please let me be wrong..._ "While he what? What did he do to you?"

Her face crumbled again as she pressed her hand to her mouth, shaking her head. With a voice full of tears and eyes full of pain and regret she said, "I don't want to tell you...Oh Richard it was so awful and I couldn't stop him...I'm so sorry..."

He felt the impact of her words like a solid kick to the gut as images Sawyer violating tiny little Stevie charged through his mind. _No...dear god no!_ But the truth was right there in Stevie's despondent expression. The blood, the panic, the betrayal, her pain...it was more than he could handle. He stood up and staggered backwards as anguish punched a hole in his heart. He could barely draw a breath as it felt as if he was strangling to death on his own violent anger.

Amanda could feel it fill the room and she reached out to Richard, hesitantly laying a hand on his arm. When his head snapped around his face calmed when he realized who it was touching him. "I can stay with Stevie while you go talk to security about what you know." Relief flashed through Richard's dark gaze as he nodded and left the room.

The women inside heard a tortured roar of raw, frustrated rage escape him shortly before they heard the crash of some unsuspecting object that likely had been thrown in the heat of the moment. "Right." Martin turned to Amanda, "I don't think I'd better leave him alone just now..." 

“You go, I’ll stay here with Stevie.” Amanda kissed Martin quickly before he followed Richard. She sat against the wall next to Stevie, slipping an arm about her carefully. 

"You'll get blood on your beautiful dress." But for all of her worry, Stevie took the offered comfort and sagged against her friend. 

"Shh...I'm not afraid of a little blood either, love."

"It hurts much to have him know that...knowing what it would do to him."

Amanda couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to go through that with Martin. "I know it did. But the damage inflicted to him is not your fault. I promise you that you and Richard have people here for you who love you both and we'll do anything we can to help. And they'll get the bastard who did this to you. Especially since you nicked his wallet. I can't believe you managed that. Half the work is done for them isn't it?"

Stevie turned to her friend, and just for a moment, Amanda could see her friend shine through the damage when she said, "Yeah well, bet he didn't expect I'd fuck him right back." 

Amanda couldn't stifle the nervous giggle, "Oh god, Stevie. You're a fucking mad woman is what you are. I've always liked you, you know? And I don't like anyone really." 

With that, Stevie laid her head on her friend and waited for the police to arrive. 

 

 

 

 

The night had been long and draining for them both. The sheer volume of information Richard had to process in such a short amount of time was staggering at best. The hideous nature of the information that was necessary for him to digest just added to the waking nightmare that had just become a central part of his life. What he hadn't expected was the counselor that approached him while Stevie was being examined and treated. She was there to answer any questions he had, though at first he hadn't known where to begin. She helped him with that too. He learned what collecting evidence entailed. This also included helping him understand a little bit about what to expect and how to handle taking care of her during the immediate aftermath. She would have flash backs from some of the most random triggers at unpredictable times. She would push him away and push him hard as a test to see if he'll stay. Simultaneously, she'll be incredibly insecure and needy. But those were just a few of many things he'd see.

She explained that it was normal for him feel violated by the intrusion as well because it would change his physical relationship with Stevie in many ways. Some of it would be temporary, but he needed to expect that there would be some things that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. He was given literature and the business card of a good therapist with the instructions to call the very next day for an appointment.

Lee had brought Stevie some comfortable clothes to change into so that they could keep what she'd been wearing for evidence. "Thank you for this." She said quietly. Lee hesitated but as she stepped towards him, Lee drew her into a warm hug. "Where'd Richard get off to?"

"He needed to talk to the police, they had a few more questions about Sawyer." He looked down at her. "I don't know if I should ask you how you feel."

She squeezed him tightly. "It's okay to ask, just don't ask if you don't want an honest answer."

He chuckled, "Well, you wouldn't be you if you gave me anything less, now would you?"

"True." Looking up at him she sighed, "Honestly, I feel like a walking crime scene." Loosening her hold on him, she worried her lip. "How is he doing?"

Lee contemplated the level of honesty he should use in his answer. 

Her eyes narrowed. "Lee please, he won't tell me." Backing up she took a seat. 

"Well his number one concern is you. But honestly we haven't had a chance to really talk. But I've never seen him like this." He dropped his long body into the chair beside her. "If there's  anything I can do for either of you, name it." 

"Just...be there for him. He's going to need a place to go with his feelings about..." Her eyes cut to Lee's.  _Fuck that awful word..._  She couldn't fight the shudder that passed through her. "...about what happened. And I know he's going to hide that need from me as much as possible."

"Don't worry, I've got his back as well as yours." 

 

 

 

 

Later that night, Lee handed a drink to his flagging friend before he took a seat in the chair opposite him thinking to start there since he didn't have any other ideas on how to handle this.

Richard, who had been lounging on the sofa, glanced up at Lee as he took what was offered. "Thanks. I haven't allowed myself time to feel much of anything and now that I have that time, I'd prefer not to." 

"That is a way to deal with it I suppose. Though it's a really unhealthy one." Lee had his own grief to deal with in this situation, but he would find a place to go with it besides Richard or Stevie. "How is she?"

Setting his glass down, Richard tapped his fingers together. "We have a prescription for a sedative to help her sleep at night. So, hopefully she'll sleep. But as well as can be expected. She hasn't cried once since the initial shock, and that actually bothers me. I don't want her to be strong for me in this."

Lee shook his head. "Well it is a sign that Stevie is still Stevie, isn't it?" 

Richard's mouth turned up a fraction at that. 

"You know I asked her what I could do for her, and she told me to make sure you were okay. The first thing she asked me was how you were doing."

A lump formed in Richard's throat. "I'm absolutely gutted. I cannot wrap my brain around what...how utterly dreadful it must have been for her. Even while she was answering questions for the police, she was so traumatized, she couldn't actually sort it all out in chronological order. And as if hearing her recount the every horrible detail of how Sawyer raped her wasn't soul crushing by itself, what was harder to handle the way her voice sounded and the look she had on her face as she spoke to them..I don't think I'll ever get over it completely. I can't imagine that she will. In fact I'm told to expect that we won't. It won't be this hard forever I guess, but it will never be like it was before that. He could have killed her, that would have ended me. Luckily, Stevie thought to fight back."  

"So...not to make you go through more than you have...how was it that she was covered in blood?"

A humorless smile appeared on Richard's face, "Clever girl used a letter opener, stabbed him right in his arse, gave it a twist too. That's when she nicked his wallet."

"No shit? She stabbed him and stole his wallet?" when Richard nodded over the rim of his glass, a look of pure admiration appeared on Lee's face. "She's so awesome. Best news I heard all day. They'll have no problem for nailing the asshole that way."

"Not entirely. In order to properly get Sawyer for the crime, the counselor told me what the exam entailed...which sounds vile...and why I couldn't be there to hold her hand while they did it. Because the presence of someone not specifically trained to cleanly collect evidence in the room could ruin the entire sexual assault case against Sawyer on a technicality." Pausing for a moment, he took a long look at the tumbler before he generously welcomed the jagged bite of bourbon that rolled past his lips and down his throat. "And of course, because they needed to have my DNA as well to rule that out, I got to go jack off into a plastic cup. Considering what had just happened, that was no small accomplishment." His eyes finally met Lee's again. "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy." 

"Dammit Richard...Fuck." Scrubbing his face with his hands, Lee shook his head, "I'm so sorry. Does her family know?"

Richard's eyebrows rose as he answered. "You mean did I have the distinct honor of telling her father how I failed in my promise to protect her from the drawbacks of my public life?" 

Frowning, Lee was indignant for his friend, "Did Royce actually say that?"

"No." The memory of telling Royce was no less painful than it had been to actually tell him. His eyes hurt, and his throat grew tight as he recalled the agony he had been forced to cause Stevie's dad by breaking the news to him. There was no possible way to soften such a blow. "He didn't even imply it. It broke his heart when I told him." His hand went to his mouth, knowing the dam was about to break at any second. "And he still managed to ask me if I was alright." The tears came first. "But how can I be alright when I have no idea how she could ever be alright after something like that? I've never loved anyone more than I do her, and I would do absolutely anything if I could make it so it had never happened." Clenching his jaw, so as to delay the inevitable. A mixture of anger and grief distorted his voice as he cried, "I've honestly never met a kinder, gentler soul than Stevie...WHY HER?"

Unable to hold back, Richard leaned his elbows on his knees, and with his face buried in his hands, he completely fell apart. Without hesitation, Lee moved to the sofa beside his friend. Blinking back tears of his own, he laid a hand on Richard's back in silent support. He was sure it wasn't enough, but he had to do something. It was then when he noticed the movement in the hallway. Stevie was in the shadows, where Richard was unlikely to notice her. Leaning against the wall and bent forward a bit, she had one hand clamped over her mouth, and another protectively around her middle, holding in as much anguish as possible while her tiny little body shook with unheard sobs. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me awhile to write this as I struggled with how to approach the scene as I owed it as much respect and time as I could take to get it right. I knew I would be crossing a pretty definite lines in doing so. First, hurting Stevie was horrible for me. Second, I wanted to convey the awful nature of her experience without being overly graphic. (i.e. violence, rather than sex) Third, I needed to differentiate this scene from some scenes I wrote earlier which were quite specifically very hot sex. I also need everyone to know that I recognize the seriousness of the subject and didn't just toss this one in to make Stevie seem complicated going forward.
> 
> Most of all, I hope I didn't offend anyone.
> 
> Thanks so much for all of your good words, kudos and continuing to read.


	22. Cilantro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get back to. Work was busy as was school. My muse was being elusive as well. I'm going to give a trigger warning as well. Sorry about that, but our girl Stevie has some major crap to work through.

_Seeing more...feeling more...hearing more...hurting more...Smells like theatre make-up, warm incandescent bulbs, sweat...why does it smell like Richard in here?_

When Stevie whimpered in her sleep, Richard turned from his dresser. He had been unable to sleep at all, but he wasn’t certain that she was better for being asleep.

 _Harsh, bright lights...glittering black eyes that hated her so much… “Please don’t do this!_ ”

Richard’s gut twisted at the sound of her voice pleading with her attacker, trapped in the nightmare that was a repeat of the evening before. Whatever he felt about it, he wasn't the one who was attacked. He didn't have to fight for his life.  

_Sensitive skin bruised by harsh hands...fear answered by anger...vulnerability against savagery...resistance met with violence...fighting prolonging inevitability._

 

_Nausea..._

 

_Surrender..._

 

_Rape..._

_“I’m so sorry Richard…”_

The depth of sadness in that mournful apology provoked yet another flash of anger.  It wasn't the right time for anger. She'd seen far too much violence. “Stevie!” Richard said somewhat forcefully, “You’re having a nightmare.” _What on earth do I do for you?_  Hesitant for a moment, knowing that it might end badly, he gathered her against him. She squealed with surprise as her body went rigid. Her eyes snapped open, filled with horror for a fraction of a second before they were clear and focused on his face.

"Richard!" She gasped with evident relief.

"You’re safe.”

But even as he had said the words, they felt inadequate. She was shaking, whispering about the smell of blood resulting in more anger to be set aside. If it was possible to die of frustration, he was in grave danger. The helplessness he'd felt from the time he knew she had a stalker was wearing on his desperate attempts to remain civilized about it. How was she ever really going to feel safe when, ultimately, he wasn't able to protect her from harm? He felt like such a failure. 

Her heart was racing, and she was fighting nausea and panic. Still half trapped by the nightmare, she couldn't stop shaking.   _Arms...skin.._. _Richard’s arms...Richard is safe...she was safe..._ she laid her head against the hair roughened skin of his chest. The sensation took on new meaning for her as the rhythm of his heart soothed her. His skin was warm, smooth, muscles tightened against it, his body thrumming with controlled violence at that moment.  Casey and now Sawyer had shown her how physically defenseless she was. Richard was classy, and civilized but with an underlying ferocity that one could see in his eyes at times. If that were unleashed, Richard would be a very dangerous man. But she'd never once been afraid of that. There was something very attractive about a powerful man who used that to take care of those he loved rather than to hurt others. She fancied herself a liberated, independent woman. When she'd first met Richard, she didn't want to need anyone. It was a vulnerability she had never wanted to experience. Richard had changed everything for her. And now, when she needed it the most, he was her protector. 

Burrowing into him further she whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too." He couldn't help but smile as she was burrowing further into him. She had such a large presence everywhere she went, he often forgot just how physically small she was. Kissing the top of her head before setting his chin there, Richard's chest rumbled against her ear as he offered, "can I do something or get something for you?" 

"I have everything I need right here with you." 

His heart skipped at her words. It was funny how she still had that effect on him. If holding her was what she needed, he would gladly stay that way all day. Though after a few minutes, both of their stomachs made noises in protest, making them chuckle. Their normal reaction to things like that felt misplaced for just a moment. Yet when she sat up to look into his eyes he knew that some things would remain unchanged by this. 

"What time is it?" 

“Just about noon. Apparently time for breakfast. Liz and Cam are here taking care of that by the way." When she winced, Richard hastily added, “I could ask them to leave if you’d prefer it.”

Shaking her head while shoving her hair from her face she said, “No, they’re here because they care about me. I am not going to do what I did to them when they tried to help me...well...you know…”

He did know. “You pushed people away when Casey was hurting you.”

“Yes. And maybe I would have been better faster if I hadn’t. You showed me it was okay to need help when you're not at your best.” Placing a quick kiss on his lips she scooted out of bed to dress, knowing that they wouldn't judge her for her ratty t-shirt and equally thrashed pair of jeans. As she straightened the shirt into place she said, "By the way, that part where the answer to the question as to whether or not it's okay to kiss me is still yes." 

His blue eyes were filled with concern and he sounded immediately contrite. "I'm sorry love. It's isn't that I don't want to kiss you, I assure you. I just don't want to scare you."

"I know, and I wish I had an answer about what will and what won't. But I need some things to be normal right now even if everything can't be. And frankly...you're one hell of a kisser. I've said as much in front of witnesses."

Remembering that, his eyes crinkled at the corner as one arm slipped around her waist to draw her closer to him, while he brushed the mass of curls tumbling around her face away with his other hand. "Work work work..." He murmured just before he kissed her sweetly. He searched her face for her response and was surprised to see exasperation. "What?"

"I'm not your mother. The first time you kissed me had more to it than that one was."

"Well as I recall, I was ready to drag you to the floor as a result, which is something I doubt you're exactly ready for."

The fact that he sounded a bit annoyed actually felt good. If everyone in her life treated her with kid gloves she would go loony fairly quickly. "Well no, if for no other reason than the fact that I want to be sure I'm clean...but I think there's a lot levels between the two...and I'm insulting you..."

"A little, yes." He smirked, letting her know he wasn't mortally offended. 

Though the tone of his voice was light, she winced anyhow. "What I really mean is..." Running her fingers up his chest to emphasize her point, "you're dressed like the cover of a Harlequin romance novel but you just kissed me like a Disney prince would...Is that how you wanted to kiss me?"

His eyes danced with humor. "Actually no." 

"Then either put on a shirt because you're driving me insane, or lay one on me like you mean it, Armitage."

"Far be it for me to disappoint a lady." He dipped her back dramatically with a wink. "Is this better? Or do I need an eye-patch? Perhaps a billowy shirt?"

"Now you're just making fun of me."

"I might be..." He said as his gaze dropped to her mouth a scant second before he began to kiss her senseless. When she went completely limp in his arms, he made a little noise of appreciation before returning her to her feet. 

He'd scrambled her brains enough that she forgot she was trying to avoid the mirror. Her cheek had a bruise, with a cut that was sutured and taped. The back of her head had been stapled shut, thus preventing her from washing her hair for at least a week. The reason her throat hurt was obvious. His hand had squeezed her neck, cutting off her airway for a moment so that she'd stop fighting him. "Holy fuck...I look like Quasimodo...no wonder you didn't want to kiss me." 

Richard frowned darkly at her. "Rubbish, you're the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

She shook her head. "Not right now." 

"Especially right now." When she worried her lip he kissed her again. 

She sighed, "You have terrible taste." 

“That's why half of my friends have a crush on you. And men break their own necks in order to get a look at you when you pass by."

Rolling her eyes she said, "Now you're exaggerating."

"Swear on my mother's life I'm not."  He kissed her once more before adding, "Promise me...if I do something that scares you that you’ll tell me.”

“Should we have a safe word? I mean, seems silly, we’re not exactly tying each other up are we? But I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

He considered it for a moment. “That’s not a bad idea. That way you can send me a signal if you're uncomfortable when we're in public together that would go unnoticed by others. How about something I like and you don’t...like a food. Is there anything like that? I think you like more foods than I do.”

“Cilantro?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really? Cilantro? You can't be serious.”

She followed him out of the bedroom as he shrugged on a shirt. “Oh god yes, vile stuff.”

“I can’t imagine hating Cilantro. I think you're the one with terrible taste, love.”  

“I’m one of those people that  it tastes like soap to me. Turns out that it’s a genetic thing actually.”

“Now you’re taking the piss.”

Stevie shook her head as the two of them came around the corner. “I’m not. It was in the news last year. There’s a link to a gene that certain people lack that makes it taste like soap.”

“Well that’s a shame...Cilantro it is.”

“What’s cilantro?” Liz turned hearing them come down the hallway.

“China's biggest practical joke on Mexico? A disgusting tasting leaf?” Campbell quipped before turning towards his sister. 

“See...genetic!" Stevie’s triumphant gaze rested on Richard for a moment, warming him. _One step forward_. 

However the moment Campbell's eyes met hers, he was at complete loss as he stood there. "Stevie...I..." His voice was tight with emotion. _Two steps back._

This was the part she'd wanted to avoid. It was the part where what had been done to her would hurt those around her and would color how they saw her. It was the very reason she'd hidden her troubles with Casey. Rather than leaving him to feel awkward, she closed the distance between them.

Lee, Liz and Richard made themselves busy with breakfast preparation in order to give the siblings a moment.  

His crushing hug wasn't unexpected. "Fuck." Was all he could manage before he bit down on a sob. She had seen Campbell cry only a handful of times in her life and she knew that he would prefer to keep any acknowledgement of that to a minimum. After a few moments when he'd gathered up his frayed emotions he loosened his hold to look down at her. "How are you?"

She took a cleansing breath when he released her. "I'm doing this minute by minute. Sometimes I'm fine, other times I'm not."

The tall, handsome man shoved his hands in his pockets to avoid clenching his fists. The thought of someone putting his hands on his sister...that way...It made him violently angry. "I just wish I could do something."

"I know and you are doing something. You’re making me breakfast...or lunch or something anyhow. Do me a favor and make sure Richard is okay for me." When her brother nodded she added, "Does Colin know?"

"Yeah, I told him. I spent the following 20 minutes convincing him that it wasn't necessary to get on the next flight to London." Cam watched Stevie wince. "Look you may be in your 30s but you're still our baby sister."

"Some bad things can't be beaten up for me."

She sat down at the table with a veritable feast on it. “Christ, Cam, how many people were you planning to feed?” 

Liz giggled, “Told you, Cam.” 

Lee grabbed at a scone. “Oh well it won’t go to waste with me around but damn I need to work out more if I’m going to hang around.” He took a bite after having put clotted cream and jam on it. His mouth was still slightly full when he remarked, “Jesus, does everyone in your family cook like this?”

Richard nodded, “Now you see why I’m working out so much more.”

“Colin can’t be bothered, Dad either.” Stevie shrugged. “You’re actually better than dad.” She added looking at Richard.

“That bad?” His eyebrows rose.

“Yeah well you know how to follow a recipe. Dad is always in a hurry.”

“Well it’s good to know you don’t think our kids will starve when you’re away on business.”

“Oh so you ARE planning to have kids?” Liz latched onto that statement right away.

“Yeah.” Stevie’s eyes darted to Richard whose eyes were warm, clearly thinking about that possibility. Time to fuck with him a bit. “Though how many hasn’t come up.”

Liz caught the look in her friend’s eyes and came in as Stevie’s accomplice. “Well, you’ve always said you wanted a big family.”

Lee sat back, eyeing his suddenly uncomfortable friend professing his undying love for Liz in his mind. His smooth, cheeky voice fanned the flames of Richard’s discomfort. “Really? How big?” Richard seemed incredibly focused on taking a drink from his juice glass, somehow making it funnier. Campbell had to shove a fork full of eggs in his mouth to disguise his smirk.

“Oh well...not nearly as big as I said when I was little. I only want 4 or 5 total.”  

Richard had about spit out his juice and stopped himself at the very last minute, causing him to start coughing instead as he inhaled a bit.

Stevie thumped him on his back. “Are you okay? I’m pretty sure breathing the juice is bad for you.”

Richard’s red face calmed as he was able to breathe once again, his pointed blue eyes were focused on Stevie’s wide brown eyes when he asked. “You’re joking right?”

"No, I'm pretty sure breathing juice is unhealthy."

Richard tilted his head at her, "You know exactly what I'm asking."

"Am I joking about wanting 5 kids?" Stevie slowly shook her head a fraction before she broke into a wide grin. “Yes.”

“Oh bloody hell...” He gasped before he threw his head back and barked with laughter. “You really had me going there you evil...evil woman."

Campbell joined him, "You don't know the half of it."

"Yeah well you and Colin ganged up on me. I had to learn how to fight you with wit."

 

 

 

 

Liz and Cam had to get back to their kids but the distraction had been nice, rather than stressful. Things seemed normal and it felt good. Maybe it didn’t have to be so traumatizing? She felt light-hearted as she moved to the bathroom and removed her clothes, turning on the faucet. Pinning her hair up, she frowned at her bruised body in the mirror. It was really inconvenient that she couldn’t wash her hair.

_Did you hear that Sawyer, wherever you are...fucker. You’re so unmemorable...You’re merely inconvenient!_

The hot spray was luxurious, soothing. Soon she would be married to Richard. Her life would be perfect. This would not ruin things for her. How could anything bring her down when Richard loved her above all? _How is this even my life?_ She giggled at her good fortune. Happiness was like its own drug these days. It was almost like cheating, since life was so good. She reached for her body wash and frowned as it was empty. _Shit...need to remember to get more. No matter I’ll just use Richard’s._

Richard was leaning his hip on the kitchen counter as Lee poured them both another cup of coffee. “She seemed alright this...well it’s not morning but you know what I mean.” Lee smirked. 

“She didn't sleep well. She's ordered me to toss the sedatives in the rubbish." Taking a long sip, he welcomed the bitterness of the liquid that was almost too hot to drink. "I didn't used to drink as much coffee. But Stevie would mainline it if it were possible."

"Man, you can't miss heroic level of consumption that girl has. I told her that was why she was so short." Lee's dimple appeared. " She punched me in the arm, feisty little thing." He watched his friend wipe down the counter and hang the dish towel before asking, "How are you?" 

Richard scratched his bearded jaw line for a moment. "Not as bad as last night. Her ability to laugh this morning...She's determined, right? Far braver than me in any case." 

The blood curdling scream shook both men. Not wasting a moment Richard was in the bathroom as she was scrubbing her skin red with her loofah with the hand soap from the sink.

"I have to get it off me!"

Bewildered Richard was trying to figure out how to help her. "What do you have to get off of you?"

"The smell...him...the fucking body wash…smells like he did.”

Richard frowned remembering that a bottle of his body wash had gone missing recently. Sawyer had taken it and used it before he used Stevie. He wondered when he would stop being constantly angry as rage coursed through him. He picked the offending bottle from the floor of the shower and deposited it in the rubbish bin, adding his shampoo, aftershave and his favorite cologne, which had been a birthday present from Stevie.  All had gone missing about a month ago and he didn’t want to chance it. Once Stevie had felt she was rid of the scent, he helped her find fresh but comfortable clothes. 

With a phone call to Kevin, the offending personal grooming products were replaced in a matter of a couple of hours. When Richard had suggested that she put on a movie a glittering smirk appeared on her face causing Richard to sigh with a force that could part a forest.

"You brought it with you, didn't you?"

Lee watched the exchange from the armchair, wondering exactly what they were talking about. 

"Of course I did. I'd feel weird watching North and South in front of you." Lee's grin was quick and broad.  

Shaking his head, Richard found the DVD set, "And you don't feel weird drooling over Colin Firth for the next four hours in front of me?"

Curling her legs up under her as he handed her the remote, "What can I say? I like my men very British and equally broody."

His rumbling chuckle was his answer as she burrowed herself against him. 

 

 

 

 

 


	23. If Only...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my timeline isn't reality. Funny thing about alternate universe fiction ;) thank you again for your encouragement and patience. <3

Every step she took from the tube exit to the office building in which her therapist occupied during her non-clinic hours filled her with approaching doom. _If only last night could be erased_. But it replayed in her mind in painfully vivid detail. The end of Richard's show meant a party at the pub down below the Old Vic. Stevie was hell bent on attending the show and the party. Entering the theater again after her assault had been difficult. But her friends were with her, and she felt safe now that Sawyer had been arrested. So long as she stuck with Amanda and Martin and didn’t go backstage, she managed with little incident. As much as Richard had reservations about her ability to handle being there without incident, he was incredibly chuffed by the fact that she was determined to be there for him. So much so that by the time he arrived at the pub with the other cast members he he’d laid a kiss on her that had made her elbow sweat and caused the room to erupt in whistles and howls. It had caused the most pronounced rush of arousal she'd had since... _not using that word..._ well for weeks anyhow. One thing was clear, she wanted Richard to help her be 'whole' again.  _  
_

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Just a little bit of liquid courage would be needed to get over the awkwardness. She and Amanda always had a good time on nights such as this and it was really quite nice to let go and let it happen. It wasn’t difficult to manage that flirty, giddy buzz that only heightened the effect of Richard's gaze, touch and scent on her libido. By the time she got into the cab with him she was aching for him and had pulled Richard into a hot kiss that was a perfect echo to what he'd started earlier. 

Richard had grinned against her mouth, “What’s this? A bit frisky tonight are we?”

“You have no idea...I've missed you.” She climbed onto his lap and raked her fingers through his rumpled hair, recognizing her effect on him as she felt him hard as a steel, pressing against his jeans.  _He still wants me..._ she wanted to weep with relief.

His fingers thrust into her hair, pulling at the pins that had held it swept up, allowing the silken threads to fall into his hands. “Oh God Stevie...I’ve missed you too…” Their flow of words were interrupted by the hungry kisses between them.

"You said..." she murmured, kissing her way to his hear before finishing, "I needed to go first."

He moaned, "I did say that didn't I? Are you sure? What's the word?”

Leaning back up to stare down into his smoldering eyes she nodded as she practically growled, “Something about soapy tasting leaves... now shut up and kiss me like you mean it.” 

"Work work work..." His wolfish grin appeared as clutched her hips. His rumbling chuckle had been enough to push away the spark of panic that licked at the edges of her consciousness at the flicker of unpleasant memory that caused her. _This is Richard, he won’t hurt me..._

They practically ran up the stairs to the flat and both of them deposited respective coats, keys, bags onto the dining table before Richard swept her into his arms, “Come here you.” She giggled her way down the hallway towards the bedroom. “It occurs to me Ms. Goodwin, that you’re a bit tipsy.”

“Mmmm...So are you Armitage.” He’d done a little spin and nearly dropped her as he set her onto her feet.

“Hmm...you make a good point.” They both tumbled onto the bed rather unceremoniously as her mouth sought his again. He finally indulged himself drinking in what she offered him. Something he could no longer simply take for granted. Her mouth opened for him without reservation as his tongue mated with hers. The fact that she did not taste of cinnamon and tasted of whiskey causes him to pause when she trembled at his touch. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Concern was written all over his face.   

It was dear of him to care about her more than himself. Richard really was the perfect man, and he was wearing far too much clothing. Reaching for the buttons on the front of his shirt she bit her lip and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine...more than fine. I need to make love.” His concern melted into desire as she possessively rand her fingers over his bare chest. "The whole run you got to keep the chest hair until they filmed it the other day."

His chuckle rumbled beneath her hands. "Lucky for you I'm a bit of a beast that way and I'm growing it back as fast as I can, love. One might argue that you have exclusive rights to my hairy chest this way." He watched as she unbuttoned her own blouse for his hungry eyes. "I rather like yours un-hairy." 

Giggling she said, "Lucky for you I'm a woman then hmm?"

"I admit I like that about you very much, even though people think I'm robbing the cradle a bit." She giggled a bit again as her lips found his. The caresses, kisses and the gradual progression of skin on skin contact between them had been so good that when Richard lifted her skirt to grasp her bottom and a flash of Sawyer doing the same thing hit her causing a wave of panic that she couldn't react to fast enough to hide from him. He froze as their eyes met, his dilated with desire, suddenly very troubled. "Sweetheart?" 

“Please, just keep going. I'll be fine."

Concern won the day when he withdrew his hands from her bottom and cupped her face instead. “I don’t think I can just do that. You’ve been drinking, love, and I don’t want…” She rolled off of him and shot a stricken look at him. He'd scrubbed at his face and seemed to wait for the unavoidable ugliness that would follow.  

Rejection and pride were nasty beasts when mixed with alcohol and she’d gotten angry at him. “You don’t want me?” 

“Oh Christ Stevie I want you so badly I could cry. But not like this.”

“Then like what?” She’d spat out at him. 

She didn’t like remembering the next part and the way she’d completely thrown a temper tantrum. She’d actually suggested that when a man isn't interested in getting any at home he's probably getting it somewhere else. She'll never forget how hurt he looked after the words had come out before his face became a cool, impassive mask, "I'm not your ex-husband." after which he'd tactfully decided to go sleep in the guest room. 

They hadn’t spoken since. She didn’t even want to look at him. _How can I face him after what I’d done, what I’d said_. The nausea she’d been fighting all morning was threatening to resurface as she ascended the stairs. There was some sort of serendipity at work that this was to be their first joint session and that she wouldn't have to navigate this alone. She had deliberately arrived at the very last minute in hopes that Richard had been invited in already. But, as luck would have it, Dr. Sampson was running behind, caught in traffic between the hospital and her private offices so that Richard’s blue eyes were on her as she entered the room. _Fuckity fuck_ … And, always the gentleman, he stood. 

She’d hurt him deliberately, so much so that the love she saw in his cautious eyes at present cut her deeply, damning her further for her shameful behavior. 

It wasn’t difficult to figure out what Stevie was thinking as she was doing her best impression of a deer caught in headlights, backing up against the wall next to the door. Last night had hurt tremendously but to see her like this left him gutted. “You can stop avoiding me. I’m not going to bite.” He said gently. 

“I wasn’t…”

“I was born at night, but not last night. You were gone before I woke, likely with a monster hangover. Did you actually go running? Because you weren’t at the gym when I got there.”

“I ran...just 3 miles. I did it outside. I needed...air.”

Had she not been so desperate to get away from him, he would have considered that a small victory as she’d not been out alone since the night at the Old Vic three weeks ago. “I bet that felt nice if a bit cold.”

 _Why do you have to be so fucking good to me?_ Tears prickled at her eyes. “Fuck, Richard I…” her face crumpled as she squeezed her eyes shut and blindly reached for the door. “I can’t…” fight or flight kicked in. 

Gently his hand circled her wrist to stop her from bolting. “Please don’t go." She was trembling so hard it was a bit daunting.  

Air was backing up into her lungs, his touch was devastating and she wanted to throw herself into his arms and weep, but she didn’t deserve his comfort. “I was so awful…”

And then like a dream he pulled her against his chest, breaking her heart further. “Shh…No more of that.” Folding his arms around her he rested his chin on top of her head. “What we can’t sort out with Dr. Sampson, we’ll go on a lunch date and talk some more, yeah?” A mixture of grief and relief washed over him as the armor that Stevie had tried to put around herself for the past few weeks shattered and fell away.

Dr. Sampson, an efficiently dressed woman in her 60s, came upon the scene of Stevie’s heart wrenching sobs into Richard’s shirt and escorted the couple into her office telling the receptionist to hold her calls until further notice.

When the storm subsided, a very defeated and broken Stevie sat curled into Richard's side as his arm draped around her protectively.

"After earlier this week, I’d mentioned I wanted to start doing joint sessions with you.” Dr. Sampson acknowledged the two of them. “Partially because there are some concerns since Richard wants to be able to help you but you’re not giving him much to go on. I have a feeling some things have...changed?" 

“Oh well there’s plenty of material this time.” Stevie stared down at her lap as Richard nodded in agreement with her. 

“Do you want to fill me in?” 

“No, it’s thoroughly embarrassing. But I will.” Stevie winced. “I got drunk and threw myself at Richard last night.”

“Sexually?”

Stevie nodded. “Well yeah. That would be the most embarrassing.”

“How did that go?”

“Well if it had gone well I wouldn’t hate myself so much today." She felt Richard's arm tighten about her more. "Richard refused me because he's honorable...but insteadand I got nasty about it. Accused him of all sorts of vile things to the point where I’m shocked as hell he’s here today to be honest.”

“I’m just relieved that you’ve reacted to this in some way that wasn’t eating away at you from the inside.” Richard said softly.

“Oh what a relief that me behaving like a raging bitch must be.” She rolled her eyes.

"Is this the first such incident?" Dr. Sampson removed her reading glasses for a moment and eyed Stevie carefully.

She nodded.

"Why are you so hard on yourself?”

Shrugging, Stevie curled her feet under herself a bit. “Because I was doing so well.”

“Richard, you’re shaking your head.” Stevie was surprised as Richard’s gaze met hers with a bit of an apologetic look in his eyes.

“You can hardly fault me for the nightmares.” She sounded defensive and stiffened away from him. 

“I’m not.” His sigh was one borne of pure frustration. “At least that’s something, Stevie. At least that I can do something about, and I can change my toiletries, and shower at the theatre so that I don’t smell of stage make-up. You didn’t have to come to closing night, Stevie. But you did, so determined to not let anyone think something’s wrong, like some bloody Super woman.  So maybe it was easier to watch you go a little crazy when we got home last night than it’s been to watch you pretend all is well while you turn into a skeleton on me. Don't think I haven't noticed you've lost more than a stone in less than a month."

“I didn’t fucking ask to be such a mess!” She stood and paced the room. “I don’t want it. My life was perfect...and for all intents and purposes it still is. I get to marry the man of my dreams...no...someone better than the man of my dreams. And you get to marry...someone who doesn't know if she'll be able to manage sex on her wedding night." 

His voice was low when he answered her. “We’ll get that back. You are what matters to me. Intimacy isn’t about that.” 

She turned back towards him, eye brimming with tears.

“Sweetheart, look, I know that we’ve been pretty hot and heavy from the very beginning. Honestly I’d never met someone who was so open about sex. And I won’t pretend that wasn’t appealing. But that isn’t all we are.”

“I just wanted to try...to see...to have it back…to have you back."

He drew her close. “I know. And I want that too. But I want you sober and in control when it happens.”

“And if it doesn’t happen by the time we get married?”

Richard looked to the therapist after that question though he simply said, "We'll still be just as married."

“Don’t put that pressure on yourself.” Dr. Sampson watched the couple, it was difficult not to like them both. “It will be a lot like starting over so that you regain control again. You’ll discover what is still okay with you and what might not be. Certain positions won’t likely appeal to you for some time without being a trigger. Can you remember what triggered you last night?"

She nodded, "More than I want to admit because it will piss Richard off."

His brows rose as his voice took on a sardonic tone. "You're right about that. What's the point of having a safe word if you refuse to use it? You promised me, what kind of a bastard do you take me for?"

She was suddenly very contrite and an uncharacteristically she deflated right in front of him. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be too hard on her, I can fairly well read that she doesn't want this simply to please you." Dr. Sampson watched Stevie with interest. "People think that it's only men who need to validate themselves with sex. But you mentioned that Stevie was fairly open sexually. And while what happened to her wasn't sex, it was violence. Sex was used to hurt her." The doctor reached for a set of small books, handing one to Richard and one to Stevie. "I can tell Stevie wants a plan to regain herself. Normal will not be what you were used to. But I'm confident that you will find a new normal that you can be happy with. I can tell the two of you have a solid relationship and you're very good for each other. Discovering how to move forward can be a different level of intimacy between you, one that will make you stronger together."

As they left Dr. Sampson's office, both of them were left with a sense that they'd just turned an important corner in their relationship. He held the door of the taxi that would pick them up to go home, and he leaned down to touch her face, his heart in his eyes, before kissing the end of her nose ever so sweetly.

The photo snapped by a tourist would be trending on twitter within the hour with the caption, _I_ _f only I could be so lucky..._

 


	24. One step forward...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read and give me feedback. It makes me feel like I'm not completely writing a pile of rubbish that only amuses me. And thank you for your patience <3

Stevie was absolutely exhausted by the time she’d gotten home from the shop. It wasn't that she didn't love her job, just that Richard had texted her that he'd already taken care of dinner. The fact that she didn't have to make dinner or make a stop for dinner was a welcome thing. The opportunity to spend time with Richard and only him was even more reason to be completely 'over it' by the time she walked out the door and into the tube stop.  She smirked when she wondered what extra fattening thing he decided to order out. Lately, he was fixated on feeding her. There was some tabloid buzz that Stevie had an eating disorder and that the pressure of being engaged to one of the sexiest men on earth was getting to her. And while Richard knew better and that it was anxiety from her attack, she wasn’t inclined to go public about that just yet. But it didn’t stop him from worrying about her sudden weight loss. She kept assuring him not to worry as was positive that Christmas would fatten her up in short order.

When she let herself into an unusually dimly lit flat she wondered if he was still out getting dinner. After taking the time to hang up her coat, unload her bag and zip off her boots she moved down the hall towards the main room. Beorn padded towards her and as she lifted him she said in her most cliche evoking voice possible, "Hi honey, I'm home!" 

“I’m in here, love. Can I get you a glass of wine?”

“Oh please, Richard, how long have you known me? Is that a question you even need to...” Her mouth fell open and she nearly forgot what she was going to say. “...ask...me? Woah...” The entire main room was lit with candles on every surface imaginable, including inside the old fireplace that wasn’t otherwise useable. If that wasn’t enough, Richard had decorated the place for Christmas. The coffee table was set for a romantic dinner with pillows all around. It turned their home into an enchanting, highly romantic scene. The rush of pleasure she felt knowing that Richard had done this for her was intoxicating and overwhelming. She pressed her hands to her mouth as she had to blink back some seriously sappy tears that threatened to run over. That was until Richard came around the corner from the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of dark green, plaid pajama pants and a Santa hat with that raffish grin of his. Then she had to fight to keep her jaw from falling open as it nearly ended her, not only because he was so incredibly sexy it was criminal, but because he did something in a way that made her feel...for lack of a better term...whole. 

She was such a wreck lately that it embarrassed and frustrated her. She was so used to powering through obstacles and feeling better for it. This was the first time she was unable to do that. There wasn’t just the obstacle of sex itself, but all of the things in between. Admittedly that first joint therapy session broke the ice. It had turned out that the line of communication between the two of them was the thing that needed the most work. The embarrassing debacle the evening before had been an important step in that process. That had been the first time he was aware that she wanted him that way at all. And his initial response was the first time she understood that he was still attracted to her that way. The fact that he had been paying attention to the non-verbal indicators that she wasn’t ready for sex and then adding the fact that he needed to end it before he inadvertently had hurt her spoke volumes about the type of man Richard was.

She felt guilty for being aroused because she was still quite capable of being _very_ aroused in Richard's presence and didn’t want to start something with him she’d likely end abruptly at some point.  Because there was no telling at what point she'd have a flashback, and at this point it was unavoidable. She felt...damaged. When Dr. Sampson actually asked her if she’d felt that way when she first started snogging boys in her adolescence it finally sank in. In some ways, it would be like starting over, but this time it was with someone who had already shown her that he was trustworthy. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. _Only sex for fun...got it._ A gloriously shirtless Richard was standing there expectantly. _How is it possible that this is all for me?_ _I don't' think "fun" will be a problem._ Her gaze wandered over Richard’s fit body and she couldn’t prevent her the breathy comment from escaping, “I really love my life just now.”

A chuckle rumbled through him as he gazed lovingly into her eyes. "I know what you mean." His fingers slipped through her the shorter hair on the side of her head, gently holding her steady as his lips met hers. The kiss was gentle, searching, deepening slowly, telling her things about how he felt in ways that words were insufficient. When he felt the butterfly light touch of her fingers against the skin of his chest, exploring rather shyly, his heart spilled over. That simple little gesture meant that she trusted him when he told her that his body was still hers to touch. And that she didn't have to feel like initiating intimacy meant that he expected her to push beyond her comfort zone. Since their therapy session, he finally understood what she needed from him and it had felt like a barrier had been stripped away between them. He woke that morning, having cleared his schedule, determined to show her that his feelings for her had not diminished. In fact, the opposite was true. 

He looked forward to slowing down a bit, showing her tenderness and giving her a bit more romance than he had before. Not that they weren’t romantic, it was just that their relationship was dripping with more hot sex than he’d had in his entire life. He needed her to know that they would be okay, even if that never got back to exactly how it had been. If Sawyer had hoped to tear them apart, he was sorely mistaken. They would be even stronger together for it. Already he felt a deeper connection building the previous night as they’d cuddled up in bed with glasses of wine, taking turns reading the little booklets aloud. It had been a good way to encourage open and honest discussions about what she needed from him and gave them a few ideas on how to help her rediscover her sexuality when there was already an established history between them.

It was during that discussion that they were able to figure out what had triggered her panic the other night. Well, other than the obvious which was her needing to be drunk and then to charge right in. Sawyer had lifted up her skirt and grabbed her hips. While they weren’t exactly certain if it was one, the other or a combination of the two, if clothing of any kind was going to be removed, she needed to be the one to do it unless she specifically asked him to. Apart from the fact that he needed to be visible before he touched her, they were still demonstrative with each other in terms of physical affection. The fact that she was especially needy for him was a nice change from her rather bull-headed need to assert her independence. 

Finding other ways to have private time that had nothing to do with the physical, such as taking a cooking class together or going on long walks sounded like a good idea for any couple, to be honest. There were numerous suggestions regarding touch, trust, body confidence, arousal, and pleasure. Some seemed logical and quite nice, like massage, brushing her hair, taking showers or baths together with a deliberate effort at keeping it non-sexual. It made sense, after all, what made such things more tempting than to tell someone it was off limits. Others were on the silly side, like the suggestion of a game of naked Twister which had them both howling with laughter until tears were running down their faces.

“You did all of this yourself, just for me?”

Her voice brought his thoughts back to the present as he gathered her close to him and smiled sheepishly.  “Well, I had some help. I called to ask Liz to help me with supper and she came over and helped with the tree as well. And there was Carol and Kevin who begged me to let them help. I hoped you didn’t mind me decorating without you. I know you fancy doing that with your family.”

“There’s still that coming up on Christmas Eve. By the way, your family is invited to that.” She hugged him close. “You’re wonderful, you know that, right? To spend your first real day off in ages playing Martha Stewart.”

His self conscious chuckle vibrated his chest against her cheek. “Well, considering that making you smile is such a pleasure, this was not exactly a chore.”

“I really like this outfit on you, by the way.” She shot a cheeky look up at him causing his eyes to crinkle at the corners.

“This old thing?  I had it cleaned and pressed for the occasion.” His sexy wink made her heart flutter. Flirting with him felt extremely good. “So dinner or a bath first?”

“I have the hair of a dozen men clinging to me. None of it being yours and all of it itchy as fuck.”

“God I love it when you talk dirty to me." Winking at her he let her go, tapping her on the nose with his knuckle affectionately. "Bath it is then.” He directed her to a chair and brought her a glass of wine while he drew a steaming bubble bath for her. There were candles lighting the way down the hallway and he asked her to cover her eyes as he led her through the bedroom to the bathroom, which was filled with the scent of warm vanilla of her favorite bath bubbles, and aglow with more candles.

When tears filled her eyes and she had to swallow down a sob, Richard’s concern was immediate. “Stevie?”

She shook her head feeling stupid for being so utterly emotional, blinking and fanning her face with her hand, “No...the good kind of crying...Beautiful moments making me cry, remember?” She threw her arms around him and kissed him on his scruffy chin.

His eyes glittered with amusement. “Does this mean you’re going to tell me you love me and to fuck off in the same sentence?”

Gasping at that memory she shook her head. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

“Not so long as I live and breathe anyway.” Kissing her nose, he released her and hesitated for a moment before asking, “Would you prefer privacy?”

She suddenly felt shy. “No, I’d rather you stay. If that's alright?” _Why am I nervous?_ She felt a blush heating up her cheeks as she reached for the buttons on her blouse. 

His lip turned up at the corner as he moved to a respectful distance away, "Are you asking me if I mind that you undress in front of me, the answer to that will always be no."

"What if I got really fat?"

He couldn't stop himself from blinking for a moment. "Well then out on your arse you go, right? What kind of question is that? Especially since those legging things you're wearing used to be fitted and now they're too big for you."It warmed her all over as there was such a look of awe and reverence on his face the entire time until the last piece of clothing was removed and she was stepping into the tub.

"No, really, answer the question. What if I blew up?" 

"It would make a horrific mess? I could ask you the same question, you know."

"And you are avoiding the answer."

"Perhaps, because the question is absurd. I mean yes, physically I noticed your body long before I knew what kind of person you were. But I can honestly say that isn't why I want you to be my wife." He grinned stupidly for a moment. "That sounds...I like the way that sounds."

"Me getting fat?" When his brows shot up she laughed, "I'm kidding. I know what you meant. It hardly seems real, does it?" 

"I've been waiting my entire life for you. That's about as real as it gets."

Stevie nodded thoughtfully, worrying her lip. "So...speaking of that. I've decided that I want to take your name."

Richard was a bit surprised and didn't conceal that. "Is it about what your mum said about it? Because I don't actually think it's disrespectful and am not secretly resentful." 

"Oh god no. Do I look like a girl who has spent her life playing by mummy's rules? Though I'm glad to hear that. I...I just want to." 

"You could do that hyphenation thing."

"Mmm...nuh-uh." She pulled a face. "I'm too lazy to put all that into my name. Filling out forms would be a pain in the ass." 

"Stephanie Alice Armitage..." He liked the way that sounded. It did fill him with pride that she wanted to have his name. He wouldn't have held it against her if she hadn't, but it was still something he couldn't deny that gave him pleasure. 

The conversation started to flow easily after that. She filled him in on the current state of the R.S.V.P. responses.

His eyebrows rose, “So far no one has declined?” Much to his amusement she was making piles and shapes with the bubbles.

“Nope. And I expected some, since it’s a holiday, right?” 

“I guess that’s good then yeah?" When he took her foot and began to knead the tender flesh of her arch, she nearly drowned as she became instantly boneless. 

Unable to stifle the moan she said, "No...what's good is that right there and you have exactly three hours to stop." 

"I don't know how you work in those infernal shoes of yours for hours on end, frankly."

"Look, Armitage, if this is the 'sensible shoes' lecture, shut it. Not all of us are 6'3" flat footed."

Chuckling he took her other foot and started working. "It's funny, I don't notice how small you are until someone points it out. And anyhow, I rather like it. You make me feel all big and manly."  He held her gaze for a long moment before her stomach growled and both of them busted up with giggles. “I think it might be time to get out?”

He stood and held up a large, fluffy bath towel for her. Instead of simply taking it and wrapping it around herself, she stepped into his arms, and he wrapped his arms and the towel around her instinctively, indulging himself a moment to unpin the hair she’d swept up so that he could bury his face in it at the side of her neck. She wanted more. Turning further in his arms, not caring that her towel slipped a bit when she wound her arms around his neck and tugged his head down so that she could kiss him properly. It was such a rush, still and she could have stayed like that all night, but his stomach made a noise. Blinking, she glanced up at him. “Do you think they’re communicating?" 

The corner of his mouth turned up. “I have my suspicions.”

“So am I allowed to see what’s in the bedroom?”

His expression became one of amusement which only increased her curiosity. “Of course.”

 

 

 

 

"King-sized, Twister game board bedding." Amanda was laughing too hard to speak for a moment. Once she wiped her eyes she shook her head, “You’re joking!”

“No, she’s not. I was there when Richard sent Carol to find them...rather sheepishly I might add. I didn't know such a thing had existed until yesterday. I would never have pictured Richard doing such a thing if I hadn’t been there.” Liz added.

Stevie smiled picturing the look on his face when she’d hugged him. "No, it's very like him actually. It’s his way of letting me know that there’s no pressure from him.” She explained about the suggestions in the book without going into too much detail. 

Amanda blinked back some emotion that threatened to spill from her eyes when she said, “Oh my god, just brilliant...such a lovely thing to do.”

They were sitting at a cafe down the street from the dress designers shop. Her friends were determined to fatten her up since it was becoming obvious now that she’d lost weight. Her dress designer was put out with her over it as well. _I’ve never had to tuck in a wedding dress this much, so close to the date, most brides pack it on. No more of it, Stevie, I mean it._

But she couldn’t seem to keep food down for most of the day. Today was no different. “Stevie, honestly, stop pushing that around your plate and eat.”

She shook her head. “I wish I could but I don’t think it will stay down.”

“How long has this been going on?” Liz chewed her lip in concern.

“I don’t know...I thought it was anxiety but now I’m…You both have been pregnant, did you know straight away if you were?”

“Fuck me...you think Richard's knocked you up?” Liz’s eyes widened.

Stevie wanted to fall through the floor of as people turned their heads. “Great Liz, that will be trending on Twitter in no time.”

Amanda’s eyes met Stevie’s, “Well that’s easy enough to clear up I mean we can go get you a test on the way back to your flat. I mean would it be such a bad thing if you are?”

Stevie stared at the food on her plate. She was about to voice one of her biggest fears out loud. She prayed she was wrong.  “Except the fact that there’s a distinct possibility that if I am pregnant, Richard’s not the father.”

 


	25. Two steps back...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading and giving me feedback. I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sorry this was a short one, but I have a lot of content and it felt like I was trying to cram too much in. I promise that the next one will only be a short wait.

She was pacing the floor while waiting for Richard to get home having no idea how he was going to react. He’d been reasonable to the point of self-sacrifice up until this point, but as she was nearly at her own breaking point, she wondered if Richard would find his before the evening was through. She didn’t have a good feeling about it, and that anxiety only served to compound her daily episodes of nausea.

Amanda frowned, “Stevie, stop it, you’re going to give me motion sickness if you keep whirling around like a bloody dervish.” Amanda sounded irritable, but Stevie knew that was 100% concern she was hiding behind her tough bravado. Though both women started when Richard came through the door. The older woman hugged her friend. “Everything is going to be fine. Call me later, yeah?”

Richard’s shrewd gaze took in the scene as Stevie nodded at her friend. He didn't think it was possible for her to be wound more tightly than she was at that moment. As a result, he was suddenly on high alert for whatever could possibly cause Amanda to need to comfort Stevie. When Amanda, who uncharacteristically seemed to be at a complete loss for words simply patted his arm, said her goodbyes and left, his own anxiety doubled. A deafening silence filled the space between them as he waited for his little fiance, who was wringing her tattooed hands, to speak. “If there was a time that your trademark, all-in delivery was welcome, it’s now. So out with it." Her face was especially pale with an underlying touch of green.

She nodded, “Okay, Richard, I…” She started to gag before she could say anything more. Clamping her mouth shut and pressing her hand to the spot where her lips met for added support, she bolted from the room to lose what little lunch she’d eaten.  

Turning and waiting, he placed his hands side by side on the counter and drew a long breath trying to translate the entire situation into something that would make sense. That was when he saw them. Three little plastic sticks with little black letters in the indicator window that said "Pregnant" in each one were lined up. _Nausea, emotional, weight loss...Did pregnancy cause weight loss? I suppose it would if the mother couldn’t keep food down. Mother...Stevie was going to be a mother...I'm going to be a dad...unless...Oh dear god no!_ Richard felt the blood drain from his own face and was unable to hide his panic-stricken reaction by the time Stevie had finished brushing her teeth and returned to the main room. He was holding one of the damning pregnancy tests in his hand while staring at it.

To say Richard looked stunned would be a gross understatement. There was absolutely no question as to whether or not he understood the gravity of that bit of news. Less so once he said, “You’re not happy because I might not be the dad.” His voice was low, quiet, but there wasn’t anything particularly mild about his tone. Anger, betrayal, despair and numerous emotions flickered through his bright blue eyes as his gaze cut to Stevie’s face.

This situation was nothing short of a nightmare that just kept escalating no matter how hard they worked to keep their own sanity. Her voice was a strangled whisper as she said, “Yes."

So many questions, none of them easily asked or answered. The woman he’d become so familiar with in the past few months seemed so different than the one standing in front of him now. This woman seemed a lot more like the one he’d first met at Comic Con, in fact. That woman, dressed charmingly like an elf was a complete stranger and incredibly nervous around him. "I won’t ask if you’re certain because clearly you are. You’ve been pregnant before. Dare I ask how long you’ve suspected?”

The look in his eyes was somewhat accusatory. Under normal circumstances, this detail would be especially upsetting. But these were anything but normal circumstances and everything was upsetting. “If I had suspected before today, I would have said something. All of my symptoms could have been attributed to stress and anxiety. I wasn’t nearly this sick with Cadence anyhow. I realized it at the dress shop this morning. I’m not stupid, I know people are talking about how much weight I’ve lost. But my bustline has not gotten smaller and my hair and nails are growing like crazy.  Amanda knows because I didn’t want to be alone. Liz knew I was taking the test, but she doesn’t know the results. I wanted to tell you first though I did call my doctor for an appointment in the morning.” He stood there, utterly stunned, rubbing his hand over his mouth and jaw in his trademark nervous habit. “Please say something?”

 _What could I possibly say?_ "Maybe we should postpone the wedding..." The words came out before he could stop them. His voice didn’t sound like his own though judging by Stevie’s reaction, this was quite possibly the worst reaction he could have had. _What is wrong with me? I have more of a filter than this…_

He might have been only thinking out loud, and Stevie might have already thought exactly the same thing not more than 20 minutes prior, but hearing him voice it was more than she could handle. She burst into tears, "Why?" 

Richard panicked, and he might have opened and closed his mouth twice before he was able to get out, "The wedding is two weeks away now. So much is uncertain. You’re not feeling particularly well, and we’ll have time to have a paternity test done.”

"Why would I do that?"

"You're asking why we’d want to know the identity of the baby you carry?" Of all of the things to have a difference of opinion on, this wasn’t an expected one.

“I’m asking you if it would make a difference if you knew for certain that the baby was yours.”

The easy answer was that it shouldn’t. But nothing about the events of the past three and a half weeks had been particularly easy. “What if the baby turns out to be Sawyer's..." Another thing he’d live to regret saying aloud before giving himself time to fully sort through his feelings in a rational manner.

It was like listening to a stranger talk while Richard was processing the information right in front of her. "Then what? What if the baby turned out to be Sawyers? I have no intention of terminating the pregnancy on those grounds.”

“I would never ask you to do that. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

"So what...you'll leave?" His face dropped. He hadn't at all had a chance to think about any of this before she was demanding rational answers from him. “Then I get to wait for you to decide whether or not you can handle being with me knowing that? Then what exactly is the benefit of knowing unless the outcome would change your feelings for me or the baby that comes with me. That's why I'd rather not know. It's not the baby's fault. But if your first instinct is to postpone the wedding, I think that's for the best. I wouldn't want to force you to marry me."

 _Fuck this isn’t happening..._ "You don't have to force me to marry you. For fuck's sake Stevie! It isn’t like that! I don't want to lose you, but I have the right to know if I'm raising my own child or someone else's."

"I see...and knowing you were raising my child isn't enough? Am I not enough?” She was beyond the rational at that point as her blood ran cold.

"That's unfair..." His stomach hurt, his head started to throb behind his eyes and he admittedly may have been handling things poorly but he was at a complete loss as to what was the right way to handle this anymore. Hadn’t they both been through enough? Was the price of finding the partner of a lifetime, the fact that the universe seemed to have it out for them?

"No, it isn't but none of this has been particularly fair to me. I didn't ask to be raped and I certainly didn't ask to be pregnant shortly after so that the paternity of my baby is in question two weeks before I got to marry the man of my dreams.” Wiping at her eyes she took a long breath so that she could continue. “But I NEVER intend to let my child know that he or she was conceived in violence. And I would rather they not have a father than one who can't manage to get past that. So pardon me for not wanting to risk finding that out." _If you love someone, set them free._..Her heart pounded in her ears as she pulled the ring off and held it out for Richard.

He felt as if she'd pierced his heart with an ice cold blade. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you your freedom. You can decide if you want a paternity test or me.”

"You're forcing me to choose."

"I have very few choices at the moment. But I can choose to be strong for the life growing inside me." Tears were streaming down her face. "I love you. I want you more than anything. But there is no question about the identity of a baby's mother. Richard, I come with a baby, one I need you to 100% accept as yours without the certainty of blood before I marry you. And you’re not certain you can do that, Richard. You’re a phenomenal actor, but I can see it in your eyes." 

His face fell, he knew she was right, and it made him even angrier for it. Watching her pick up her purse was the worst moment of his life and it hurt like hell. Lashing out at her he said, “So you’re leaving me. If you walk out that door, don’t bother coming back.”  

She had a look on her face like he’d slapped her. “If that’s truly how you feel, I won’t.” And with that, she walked out of his life, breaking her own heart in the process.

 

If it was possible to die of a broken heart, he was hoping it would happen soon. The five minutes following Stevie’s departure passed with an agonizing lack of speed. He hadn’t meant what he’d said to her about not coming back. The truth was, he couldn’t imagine a future without out her in it. He considered drinking himself numb one moment, throwing something across the room the next moment, instead, he dropped onto the sofa and dialed his phone. When his mother picked up at the other end he could barely manage a greeting.

“Richard, what’s happened?” Margarets's concern was his undoing. 

“Mum...I need to come home if that's okay?"

"Of course it is, you're always welcome here. Will Stevie be joining you at the end of the week?" "Stevie…” His voice broke. "No...Stevie…she won't be joining me.” His

"Richard you're scaring me, did something happen between you?"

He swallowed, “I guess you could say that. She's left me." 

 

 

 

 

 


	26. Oatmeal Cookies?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I finally decided to stop over-thinking this one. Thank you for your patience, kudos and comments. It's a joy to keep writing because of it <3

Stevie had regretted leaving Richard that way and she was riddled with anxiety. Like the good friend she was, Amanda came back to the flat after her doctor’s appointment the following day to discuss the details of the pregnancy and to share with him what she’d learned about paternity. She’d hurt him deeply and knowing that was killing her moment by moment. _If this is what he needs in order to be okay, I’ll do it._

When she entered she found it dark and empty. "Richard?" Beorn wound his way around her legs and she lifted the cat to pet him. There was a note on the table:

 _I’ve gone home for the holidays so that you don’t have to avoid the flat. Carol has instructions to feed Beorn until you returned. After the holiday,_ _we can discuss our living arrangements. --Richard._

Suddenly she shivered, it was as if her blood turned to ice within her veins.  _NO!_  

When her friend's face went white Amanda pulled the note from Stevie's death grip reading it for herself. The last thing on earth she thought Richard was capable of was something like this. She was livid and unable to stop herself from blurting out, “That fucking coward!”

“It’s really over. No matter what now, it’s done. After how I treated him yesterday, how can I blame him?” Panic stricken and wide-eyed she met Amanda’s troubled gaze. “I hurt him. I’ve lost him. Oh my god...”

Her friend hissed, “No, it’s _not_ over. Both of you have just had to deal with a lot of shite that would have broken a couple apart long ago. I’m sure he’s just out of his mind as you are right now. Bloody Christ, I wish he’d handled this better.”

"I wish I had as well." Faced with the idea of a future without Richard, Stevie felt as if she were strangling to death on her own panic. "I'm a mess, why on earth would he want to marry me?"

It was like watching a flame die out to see Stevie wilt right in front of her. Amanda planted her hands on the younger woman's shoulders and stared her straight in the eyes, "Don't you dare do this to yourself. Promise me you're not giving up. You and Richard have too much to lose if you lost each other. You'll get through this."

Stevie's eyes welled up. "I don't know...I gave back his ring...God, he must hate my guts."

"Do you think he suddenly stopped loving you because he's butt hurt?" She placed a hand on Stevie's stomach. "You owe it to your little one to fight for his or her father. You told me on the train that you trusted that he'd do the right thing regardless of blood, right?"

She absolutely did. That was why she scheduled the paternity test for after the first of the year. Sniffling back tears she nodded. "Okay yes." Pulling out her phone she auto-dialed Richard's number. She wasn't surprised that voicemail picked up. At the sound of his rather curt greeting, she had to swallow in order to regain control of her voice again. "Richard...it's me. I uh...went to see the doctor and I have news about our...the baby. I would appreciate it if you please called me back so that we had a chance to talk about..." Her voice broke and she was unable to hide the fact that she was crying at that point. "...I am SO sorry. I was unfair to you and I'm hoping that it will help you to know that I made an appointment to have the paternity test done after the holiday. I know you simply needed me to show a little faith in you. I’m sorry I failed you. So maybe...we can hold off discussing…” Her voice broke again on a sob, but she pushed on, “Fuck...The thing is that I love you so much and I would do anything to take last night back and have you here with me now...Please call me soon and let me know it's not too late?"

That awkward and increasingly embarrassing phone call had been a little over a week ago. And the days were the longest of her life. Stevie suffered, desperate to speak to Richard, hoping he'd return. Stevie spent every single night crying herself to sleep into his pillow that had smelled so much like him after she insisted upon taking to her parent’s house over the holidays. Still no word, not even a Merry Christmas or how was your doctor's appointment. She felt half alive and quite pathetic. 

Christmas came and went. And before they knew it, New Year's Eve was the next day, the day she was supposed to become Richard's wife. But it seemed as if she'd dreamed the entire thing up. Obviously Richard wasn't interested in reaching out to her. All of his friends had, worried sick as Richard hadn't returned their calls either. Every single one of them reassured her that it wasn't over and Richard would come around. With each passing day, that possibility looked less and less likely. 

 

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2lc8wba)

 

Campbell turned to his mother and sighed, "She's barely moved in days." He was completely over it and needed to know more about what was going on from Richard's side. Picking up his phone he searched out  Chris' number.

Catherine nodded, "You said we shouldn't interfere."

"Well, that was before the two of them decided that being perpetually gutted and miserable was the best way to handle it. Met Chris out at the pub last night, he says Richard is no different." 

"I think we need to get them in the same room together so that they have to talk." Catherine wandered over to the cupboard and pulled open a door. "I think I have just the thing. Where's Britta?" 

 

 

 

 

In town, Richard watched the snow flutter around the back garden of his parent's comfortably warm house. Just over a week and he'd not heard a word from Stevie. Nothing about how her pregnancy was going nothing about the doctor's appointment itself. And while Carol likely knew she was barely speaking to him. As it was and she simply told him that he should be asking Stevie. 

Margaret stared down at her son who was sitting with a book in his lap, mostly ignoring the book and staring out the window at the blowing snow that chilly afternoon. The tension in him could be felt from across the room. He was a broody man by nature, though it had been awhile since he’d been like that. At least since Stevie had come into his life. Her heart was breaking for the two of them. Margaret had known her son long enough to leave him be until he was ready to talk. But that had been before Christmas and as far as she could tell, her son had made no effort to fix things.

He also hadn't been out of the house in days. It was high time that someone gave them a little nudge. After a 20 minute conversation with Catherine, she was hoping that it would work.

"Rich, I hesitate to ask..."

He turned his head, "Ask me what?"

"I'm trying this new recipe for oatmeal cookies Catherine Goodwin gave me, hers are lovely...anyhow I'm missing some ingredients and there are a few more things I could use. I’ve got so much to do before tomorrow I don’t want to put you out..."

Richard stood and placed an arm around her shoulders. "If you have a list, I'll be glad for having the distraction."

"Oh thank you, now the ingredients are specific so I need you to follow the list exactly as written."

 

 

 

Stevie wandered the aisles at the market in town with Britta beside her chattering nonstop about everything and anything. She had no idea why this particular store was so important. She was pretty sure they had the particular brand of...looking down at the list she reminded herself...steel cut oats...in every single store. Likely they were just bloody well sick of her moping about the house. She spotted the aisle with the assortment of breakfast cereals and turned the corner. But then suddenly Stevie saw Britta take off around the corner. "Uncle Richard!" _Oh shit..._

He was busy trying to locate some particular brand of steel cut oats that he started to suspect didn't actually exist. Frowning at the containers rather studiously he barely had time to react before little Britta Goodwin called his name and launched herself up into his arms. Her joy was infectious as she giggled and hugged him. He had an unexpected rush of pleasure at seeing the little girl followed by an unmistakeable ache when he realized she smelt a bit like vanilla like she always did when she spent time in Stevie's arms. “Hello.” He smiled, attempting to sound cheery anyhow. “How are you? How was your Christmas?”

“Good I guess…” Her voice echoed her disappointment as she toyed with the zipper on his jacket. “You didn’t come and I wanted you to come and now Daddy says I can’t wear my pretty dress tomorrow. I maybe even cried, but daddy says I’m not s’posed to because it makes Auntie Stevie cry too. And she's so terribly sad lately. I think maybe she wanted you to come for Christmas too. The grown ups talk when they think I’m not paying attention. She told Mum she’s made you very angry with her even though she tried to call and say she was really really sorry. Did she get cross with you and yell at you and that’s why you don’t love her anymore?”

Richard was rendered speechless partially born of his need to not fall apart in public, the other reason appeared around the corner. That familiar, wild tumble of black wavy hair around a face that haunted his mind constantly. Stevie was clad in leggings, an oversized cardigan sweater he recognized straight away and her ridiculous red wellies. But what he hadn’t expected was the way the t-shirt she wore seemed to be stretched a bit over her belly. Stevie was visibly pregnant. Could she have changed so much in just two weeks? Possessiveness and longing simultaneously washed over him with a force that nearly flattened him.  _No matter what, I'll not leave her to raise my baby alone._ Now he had to convince Stevie that he meant that with all of his heart.

He had a thunderstruck look on his lean, handsome face. She clapped her hands over her mouth to keep herself from gasping out loud over the embarrassing little overshare her niece had just so innocently hit Richard over the head with. They both stood there, holding each other’s gazes for several long heartbeats before she was finally able to regain a fraction of her composure. “We were just shopping for my mum. I ah...I’m sorry about…” she stopped talking, feeling foolish, in favor of worrying her lip.

He had a sudden urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her breathless. His voice was gentle as he spoke to her. “It’s alright. I was doing the same. Stevie...Can we go somewhere to talk after we finish this? Please?"

Hope bloomed inside of her. "Okay yes. My list is short. Just ingredients for oatmeal cookies and some other items she needed."

Richard furrowed his brows. "So is mine. That’s strange."

"Wouldn't it be funny if out lists were identical?"

"It wouldn't surprise me much at least some of it since my mum's making your mum's recipe." He held his next to her's. Every single item on both lists were identical and in the identical order. "They are...why do I suddenly suspect foul play on our mother's' part?"

Campbell appeared as Stevie's voice flattened, "I think we have our answer."

Britta wiggled in Richard's arms, "Daddy! How funny you're here!"

"Imagine that." Richard's mouth twitched ironically. “Chris too.” He murmured as his brother came into view. 

“Well someone had to bring your overnight bag,” Chris explained. “Since you two are a couple of stubborn fools we decided to interfere and force you two to sort this nonsense out.” He handed Richard a card key. “Here is your room key for the Inn that’s booked for the next several days.”

Stevie glanced nervously at her brother who added, “Your things are already there. I’ll let everyone know you’ve taken the weekend once I get back. Consider yourselves kicked out of the house starting now.”

Richard stared down at the plastic card for a moment and then back at Stevie who stood there looking completely taken aback. Closing his hand around the key and offering his free hand to her, she took it. She was trembling. _Was she nervous?_ Richard felt the familiar buzz of his cell phone as he opened her car door for her. Checking his messages, there was one from Chris who never texted him.

 _C--Check your bag when you get to the room. There’s something in there you might find useful if you get desperate. Don't worry you'll know it when you see it._

They didn’t speak much on the way over and what little conversation there was had been strained. “Are you hungry?” Richard finally asked. 

“No, but if you are…”

“No, I was just…” _I just sound pathetic is what..._ He cringed inwardly as he lead her through the lobby and up two flights of stairs to what turned out to be something that resembled a suite more than a regular room. She sat on the edge of the bed looking up at him with those large brown eyes as he leaned against the dresser, crossing his arms in front of himself. “Stevie I...” He had absolutely no idea where to start.

His entire demeanor was guarded and closed off. Her confidence was shaken once again but she pushed through anyhow. "You know what? This is beyond fucked up.” When his eyes cut to hers rather sharply she elaborated. “It’s worse than being total strangers isn’t it?”

There was the elephant in the room, and her talent at naming it. A sense of longing gripped him. “Yes. It really is. I’d get us glasses of wine but...” his gaze dropped to her belly.

She smirked just a little. “Yeah that’s frowned upon generally.”

“How are you doing?” _Small talk? Really Richard this is how you fight for the love of your life?_

“I’m alright. I came back to the flat after my appointment. I wanted to tell you about it and apologize. That’s when I found…” Her voice broke, the conversation was so difficult and too polite. It was as if someone stole the passion in their relationship.  _Dammit..._

“My note." Richard shook his head and drew a long shaky breath. "I wasn’t myself when I left. I’m sorry for the way I handled that.”

She stood and paced the room, definitely feeling anxious she poked at him a bit. “Come on Richard, is this all you've got for me? Polite little exchange, shake hands and cut our losses? How very stereotypically English of you to fall back on propriety and manners. God forbid I might know a little about how you feel right now. Does it matter at all to you? Do you want us to work out? Or is it over for you? Your note sure made it seem like it anyhow…”

That worked. His glare was fierce and he was not at all interested in controlling the anger in his voice when he answered her. "Well at the time I thought it was over for you. I’m not the one who broke off the engagement, handed the engagement ring back to me and left me hanging there. All because I didn't know the proper etiquette for handling the load of rubbish we've had to deal with.”

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=15drig9)

“No, you only suggested not getting married. I'm pretty certain you could have figured I might have felt you were looking for an emergency exit.”

"Oh for fuck's sake, I only suggested it because I thought maybe you’d rather get married at a time when you weren’t constantly vomiting and tired, that's all.”

“You left without a word.” Tears started to fall pissing her off even more. 

“Congratulations for having left using words that hurt like hell instead." He snapped out, vulnerability flickered in his eyes. "I was giving you the courtesy of not doing that.”

She snorted. “Oh! I get it now. How magnanimous of you...you're not stupid, Richard, you can't possibly be implying that the part about discussing other living arrangements was you doing me the courtesy of not using words to hurt me?”

Like a wounded lion, he stalked the room, viciously angry. Turning he pointed at her. "After _You_ walked out of _my_ life with an ultimatum expecting me to make huge decisions when we were both clearly too upset to be entirely rational! Do you not get it? You broke my heart, does that even matter to you?." 

Her gaze fell as her heart sank with the knowledge of how deeply she had hurt him. She would never forgive herself for doing it and she wasn't sure he'd ever forgive her for it and that was a terrifying realization. Her voice was a shaky whisper when she finally answered him. “Yes...it matters. In fact that’s why I came back. And why I called to apologize. I...fuck I layed it all out there and it obviously didn't matter to you that I did care since you never called back. In fact, you're ignoring your friends and worrying everyone sick. You might at least call them.” 

His anger deflated as his brows rose. “You what? I never got any phone...” He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the settings. When he looked directly into his voicemail box there it was. He groaned. "I’d put my entire friend’s list on ‘do not disturb’ and forgot to take it off." 

“What? You had me on ignore?” She gasped. “What if something had happened? Or did you suddenly not care that I’m pregnant?”

“I’d only meant to do it for that night. And I wasn't on the moon. It’s not as if you couldn’t have gotten ahold of me by calling my parents or through Carol... though she’s currently not speaking to me unless she has to.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he realized she was going for the door. “There you go leaving again. Do _you_ want us to work out?”

Letting out a strangled sob she turned back to him. Tears streamed down her face as she met his gaze. “Listen to the message and you'll have your answer. My feelings haven't changed. I just need some air. I'm not going very far.” And with that she made a hasty exit.

Richard watched her leave through the front door below and head straight for the church across the street before he did as she'd asked. 

 _"Richard...it's me. I uh...went to see the doctor and I have news about our...the baby. I would appreciate it if you please called me back so that we had a chance to talk about..."_ The sound of her tear filled voice tore at him. _"...I am SO sorry. I was unfair to you and I'm hoping that it will help you to know that I made an appointment to have the paternity test done after the holiday. I know you simply needed me to have faith in you. I’m sorry I failed you. So maybe...we can hold off discussing…”_ As her voice broke again on a sob he swallowed hard, _“Fuck...The thing is that I love you so much and I would do anything to take last night back and have you with me right now...Please call me soon and let me know it's not too late..._ " She understood. And he now understood what it was she needed. 

He mentally answered her,  _No, it's not too late and I_ _would do anything to have thought to go after you that night._ "I'm sure as hell not going to make that mistake a second time." Richard lifted his coat and stared down at the bag it had been resting upon remembering Chris’s text message. _I'd say I'm definitely desperate right about now...I hope I don't miss..._ The moment he opened the bag he knew exactly what Christ was talking about. He wondered how many people were in on this plan and prayed to god it worked. 

 


	27. Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a shorty. But I hope you like it anyhow.

When she pulled the old wooden door of the church closed behind her the echoing thud bounced around the stone walls of the centuries old building. She took a long breath as she faced the sanctuary. The image of her standing there in her wedding dress, proudly on her father’s arm while Richard waited for her hit her soundly before she could prevent the thought of the awful possibility that it would never happen. The pain of it stung like a backhanded slap to the face. She was certain that Chris and Campbell parked them in the Inn across the street from the very church in which they were supposed to be married quite deliberately. It would force them to talk about it at some point. _Assholes..._ She winced. _Oh! Sorry about that God._  

The rubber boot squeaked their way up the aisle to the front. She was glad that she wasn't ruining anyone's quiet moment of prayer. She was not sure if she even remembered how to pray, not being an overly religious person. As she took a seat, images of her childhood materialized in her mind and there was something comforting about the smell of polished old wood and candle wax. She would sit and mentally judge hairstyles and count comb-overs. It was somewhat ironic that it happened to be the family church of both the Goodwin and Armitage family. There were so many things that connected her to Richard it had almost seemed as if there truly was a higher power at work, putting them together at the point in time when they'd met. And whatever it was had asserted itself a second time when the two of them failed to listen the first time. But the events of the past few weeks had successfully torn them apart. She curled her knees up to her chest giving in to her grief as it washed over her until she was sobbing her heart out into her sleeves.

“What causes you such pain?" The voice was like a balm to her soul, goodness poured from this old family friend. Fr. Craig, or Craig as many called him, was a very relatable man and he and his family had been to the house many times. “Oh, Stevie, it’s you.”

Stevie's gaze cut to a pair of kind blue eyes, with crinkles at the corners. She knew another such pair of eyes, though with fewer crinkles present, and it hurt to think of them knowing they were filled with so much grief when she'd last seen them. _My fault.._.Wiping at the tears on her face she took a deep breath, trying to find words for the wounds that made her soul bleed.

“I think I can probably guess what’s wrong. But something tells me there’s much more to the story than your parents have told me, or that you have told them, isn’t there?”

Sniffling she wiped at her eyes while she nodded. Her father and the man in front of her had been Oxford roommates. She didn't know if she could tell him about...everything. "I...I'm so lost right now. And it's such long story. Surely you don't want to have me cry all over you about it. I haven't been to church in ages, it feels a bit disingenuous. Especially since I'm pregnant without a husband..." she sighed thinking of the life growing inside her. “What you must think of me…”

“I like and respect you as much as I ever have. And you must have some faith, or you would not be here in the first place. All are welcome, especially those who are lost.” He took a seat on the bench next to her, causing the old wood to groan as if in protest. "You are not required to tell me anything at all. But I can tell, that you're carrying a heavy burden. If there ever was a more appropriate time or place to allow yourself to unload even some of it, I don't know that you'll find it. Trust me, I've dried many tears, I'll gladly do the same for you. You also don't have to worry about shocking me. I've heard it all. Though your father is one of my oldest friends, I assure you that what you say to me would not reach his ears. Either way, I will sit with you if you don’t mind the company." Her gaze rested on his face. It was a face that told her that he'd been trusted with a great many secrets and he'd meant what he'd said. 

It was all the invitation she needed. She'd spilled her guts about the events that had led them to this place. Sharing every gory detail, she did feel lighter. "I don’t want you to think ill of him. He’s been so good to me really. But I didn’t have faith in him and I hurt him very badly because of that. And it caused him to shut me out and while that hurts like hell...sorry...I don’t know that I blame him for that. It's as if we've both momentarily lost our minds. But we also lost each other." 

Father Craig smiled warmly at her. "I don’t think badly of either of you. As human beings, we often react to trauma with behavior which is out of character to our normal selves."

"I'll say." She looked around for a moment, wiping at her eyes again. "I was supposed to marry him tomorrow...well you know that part...Once upon a time he wanted to marry me...until I completely messed that up and pushed him away."

The minister spotted a rather harassed-looking man at the back of the church who paused to search the room before his gaze landed on them. With him being the image of a young John Armitage, he’d know his son Richard anywhere. "Oh, I wouldn't be so hard on myself if I were you, Stevie. It takes two to mess up a perfectly good relationship. And I wouldn't be so sure that Richard's lost to you entirely. After all, my gran used to tell me that things always worked out in the end. And if it hasn't worked out then it's not the end."

"People keep telling me that. Well not so poetically but similar things. I honestly don't know how they can be more confident about that than I am."

Fr. Craig smiled, knowing that Stevie was not aware of Richard's arrival. "After all that has happened, do you still love him?"

Stevie's answer was a whisper, "With all my heart."

From that distance, it was unlikely Richard was aware of what had been said. The Minister's gaze rested on Richard who was hesitantly moving closer. He had to stifle a knowing grin when he spotted a large, yellow office envelope in one of his hands. Had Stevie been looking straight at Fr. Craig she might have been alerted to the presence of the man about which they were speaking. He cleared his throat and then raised his voice a bit so that it would carry further, "Given the chance, if he were here, right now, would you still want to marry him?"

Richard had been making his way towards the front of the church, the Minister's question grabbed his full attention as paused in mid stride to wait for Stevie’s answer. He held his breath, knowing that it would be an honest one since she had no idea he was there. It felt a bit dishonest, but as Fr. Craig was obviously okay with it, he didn’t make any effort to change the circumstances as of that moment.  

Stevie's voice was vehement in her answer. “Yes, absolutely."

Able to breathe again as those simple words were the most beautiful he'd ever heard in his life. He moved his left hand to obstruct her view of what he was holding and he knew exactly what he needed to say next, "Just like that?"

The familiar timbre of Richard's voice stopped her heart as she stood and turned abruptly, her eyes filling again, clamping a hand to her mouth. She was unable to speak, in her attempt to stop the flow of emotion. Swallowing hard on a sob she lowered her hand as he approached her carefully. He'd come after her his time. Like a dream, she couldn't believe he was there. "Yes." She finally said. "Just like that."

"Well then..." He had to take a breath as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and unfolded it with his palm up. "Perhaps you'll be wanting this back? Though I have one request before you put it on." While she was distracted, he discreetly handed the envelope to the Minister. Fr. Craig took that moment to go to his office to call his wife over to the church. 

It was, of course, her engagement ring. "Richard..." She took a step closer and stared inquisitively into his handsome face. The pain in his eyes and the awkwardness of before had been replaced by a look of such intense love that it left her momentarily dazed. "Anything."

Closing the distance between them, he laid his empty hand along the side of her face. "I need you to forgive me for telling Carol to cancel the doctor's appointment on Monday."

The large, brown eyes grew in size in her obvious surprise. "But you didn't have to do that for me to be with you. It was an awful thing to just throw at you..." 

Cutting off the flow of words with his finger he shook his head. "I don't need a doctor to tell me what I already know in my heart to be true." He gathered her to him. "And I understand why you felt the way you did. I'm sorry I made you doubt my love and my commitment to you even for a second."

And she was completely undone and unable to hold back the tears that spilled from her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you to be the man I know you are. I almost lost you because of it..."

He nudged her chin up, his kind eyes implored hers. "Shhh...no more of that. For someone who knows me better than I know myself, you might have guessed that I wouldn't have been able to stay gone. But that's done and we're okay aren't we?" He paused as she nodded. "It would break my heart if you let that eat away at you. Promise me that you won't.” He slipped the ring back on her finger.

“Okay, I promise.” She nodded as he held her close, still holding her hand in his. "Schooling me with my own words." 

A cheeky little smirk appeared on his face. “Oh well, you might like to know I actually do pay attention to what you say and likely remember more than you are aware of."

"Oh? Such as?" She slipped her arms around his middle and indulged herself by laying her head on his chest so that she could enjoy the way his lovely voice vibrated through him.

Taking advantage of his own indulgence of breathing in her scent. Though the cinnamon was curiously gone, and it was replaced by orange, the vanilla remained the same. As long as he lived, he vowed never to take the ability to experience that for granted again. "The day we discussed planning our wedding. That first conversation about it, do you remember what you'd said about what was most important to you?" 

She remembered it vividly and wished like crazy that they weren't in a church at that moment. "Yes...I was...distracted as were you, I'm shocked that you remember. It was something to the effect of, 'so long as the end result was that we were married, the details of how we got there were far less important.'" She looked up into his face and found the most peculiar expression there. "Why? Have you changed your mind about having the _not huge_ big party?"

“Well yes and no. I was hoping we could get married now and have the party later after the baby comes? That way everyone can meet him or her?"

She smiled at the sweetness of the sentiment behind his thoughts. "I really like that idea." There was something about how he was looking at her that left her a bit unsettled. It was as if he knew something she didn't. _Wait a minute..._ "When you said get married now, you just meant as soon as possible right? Not literally right now."

The look on her face had been priceless as what he'd said, and specifically the way he'd phrased it had finally drawn her attention. He really wished he had a camera ready. Somewhere in the back of his mind the thought that their life would make an entertaining romantic comedy though no one would believe it was possible. And at that thought, a grin cracked his face before he was able to regain his composure. His voice was gentle but deliberate while his expression was sincere as he clarified his intentions. "What I meant was that I'd very much like to marry you... _literally_ right now...as in before we walk out of this church today."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI I've been going back through the story to do some editing. For the most part, it's polish rather than content. But there are some little details I've added. I've just finished up through Chapter 7.


	28. Waiting for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh! I'm sorry this took so long. I've been bouncing these next few chapters around a lot and am my own worst critic. I've been neglecting one of my stories entirely because I feel I need to wrap this one up before I move forward with that one so that I don't spoil things here. I hope it was worth the wait and I am so flattered and pleased by your praise and kudos so far. <3
> 
> I know there's a lot of criticism out there on the subject of RPF and again, I'm stressing "Fiction" being the key word here. I'm not meaning disrespect as it is an entirely made up thing I've written.

 

 

> _"When you said ‘get married now,' you just meant as soon as possible right? Not literally right now."_
> 
> _It had taken mere moments. The look on her face had been priceless as what he'd said, and specifically the way he'd phrased it had finally drawn her attention. He really wished he had a camera ready. Somewhere in the back of his mind the thought that their life would make an entertaining romantic comedy though no one would believe it was possible. And at that thought, a grin cracked his face before he was able to regain his composure. His voice was gentle but deliberate while his expression was sincere as he clarified his intentions. "What I meant was that I'd very much like to marry you...literally right now...as in before we walk out of this church today."_

 

One look at Richard’s gorgeous, earnest face was proof enough that he wasn’t messing with her. After all, why would he? But for some reason she couldn’t stop herself from rather lamely saying, “Oh my god you’re serious.” _How astute of you_ _, Stevie, you’re a real keeper..._

“I had two weeks to imagine my life without you in it and I was miserable.”

First there was the thought of losing him paired with the thought of _him_ even loving her this much in the first place made the entire scene unbelievably perfect. A year ago she would never have thought this was possible. But Richard was legitimately bearing his soul to her.

"Just when I'd lost hope of ever finding someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with, like a miracle there you were in front of me, not once, but twice in completely unrelated circumstances. I know you didn't expect me to remember you, but do you remember what Adam had said to you the first time I saw you? Because I do. Because those words were hauntingly accurate." 

_Oh my God!_ The overwhelming rush of emotion washed over her like a gigantic wave. "He said...'he's waiting for you, Sunshine.'"

There were several reactions Richard had expected from her as the gravity of what he’d suggested sank in. Her mouth had opened for a moment, then closed when she could think of nothing to say. Then her eyes met his, swimming with tears shortly before she threw herself into his arms and then proceeded to sob into his shirt uncontrollably. But there he stood, holding Stevie close as she clung to him for dear life. He sincerely hoped this was a good thing. Out of his element as she was not generally prone to this sort of thing, he’d looked to Fr. Craig, who merely shrugged unhelpfully. _Thanks a lot…_ he groaned inwardly. Eventually, he decided that the best response was not to assume a bloody thing until the storm of tears had passed. 

And when the tears did stop she sheepishly dared a look up at him, wiping at her eyes. “Alright.” The word had come out on a long exhale.

He blinked in disbelief. “Alright? All that for a ‘yes?’”

“You were worried I’d say no?” She sniffled rather dramatically and nodded. “I’m sorry, lately, I’ve put the mental in sentimental. Here’s your last opportunity to escape it.”

His crooked grin appeared. “Never crossed my mind. I’m fully aware that being pregnant creates the proverbial hormonally emotional rollercoaster. It will take some getting used to, but I’m sure I’ll manage.”

_God, he was adorable…_ “Been pregnant a lot, have you?” she couldn’t resist teasing him.

There was the Stevie he knew very well. It was then that he knew that everything was going to be okay.  He narrowed his eyes at him in mock indignance. “Go ahead, take the piss, but I’ve been doing some light reading.” He reached inside his coat and pulled out a well-known paperback book about first-time fatherhood.

_Well, that’s certainly a game-changer..._ Her heart did a little dance and she felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes. _For fuck's sake Stevie, don't cry on the man again..._  “You bought a book on pregnancy?”

“No, love…” His eyes warmed as he tilted her chin up so that he could easily lean down kiss her tears away. “I bought a book on becoming a dad. I’d actually picked it up at the train station before I left London.” When her eyes reflected her astonishment, he nodded. “I’d come to my senses much faster than you might have realized and regretted leaving that damnable letter for you shortly after it was too late to do anything about it. I had begged Carol to grab it and tear it up, but she hadn’t gotten there on time. After that, I didn’t know how I was ever going to make things right again.”

As Fr. Craig entered the sanctuary, Stevie’s eyes brightened. “I think we’re about to do that _literally_ right now.”

 

 

 

 

They’d returned from the church with Stevie giggling while Richard had unlocked the door to the room for them. He’d stopped her before she could enter. “Not just yet.” He’d said before he lifted her into his arms. “Oh no get back here. We’re doing this right or not at all.”

“Our wedding photos were taken on an iPhone by the church custodian and _n_ _ow_ you’re stuck on formality?”

It was such a corny, romantic gesture that hadn't gone unnoticed by the smiling, older woman who had just left her room down the hallway. “Is he always like that, or are the two of you newlyweds?” She was joined by a gentleman moments later.

Stevie, who was positively glowing, answered, “Both, actually.”

The older man took hold of his wife's hand. “Congratulations! It's a good day for it. Dorrie and I are celebrating 40 years together tonight.” He’d brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. The love between the two of them was evident.

“Well, that's something to celebrate. Congratulations to you as well.” Richard smiled, “Any advice for an amateur?”

The gentleman looked thoughtful for a moment. “No matter how long you've been married, never stop dating each other.”

“And when it comes to settling differences…” Dorrie winked adding, “never underestimate the power of great sex.”

Inside the room, Richard’s chest was vibrating as he drew her against him. She knew he was chuckling again. Stevie tilted her head so that she could look at him. “Do I even need to ask what’s funny?”

His eyes crinkled as he smiled down at her. “Oh my God No. Though the fact that they reminded me a little of my parents brought me back to the day you met them.”

She blushed and giggled into his shirt. “Oh fuck, don’t remind me. I was praying for the floor to swallow me up then and there.”

“You and me both.” There was a light in her eyes as she ran her hand up the front of his sweater with a familiarity that had been missing for weeks. He was also aware that she was about to be very blunt.

“Do you miss it?”

“Sex?” He couldn’t have been more thankful for the information the therapist gave him regarding how to handle this part than he was right then. The fact that she was ready to talk about it was a giant step forward. But it was also nerve-wracking as hell since there were just as many wrong ways to handle this. There were resources on the Internet as well, bulletin boards and forums he could anonymously join and see how other people helped their partner heal. He was mostly disheartened by going there at all. It was full of men who couldn't get it out of their heads that their wives and girlfriends didn't cheat on them or ask for it somehow, Men who cheated because they weren't getting sex at home and others who cut and run because _they_ couldn't cope. He had no problem with waiting as long as she needed to. He wanted to help her heal. His biggest issue was his own guilt for even thinking about her that way. 

“No, the Holy Roman Empire.” She rolled her eyes.

Shaking his head, “No, I don’t miss it nearly as much as I’ve missed your cheek for the past two weeks.”

“Seriously? Because we were like rabbits.” She chewed on her lip thoughtfully as her hands explored the feel of him through his clothes. He was familiar, firm, lean and she suddenly wondered if his chest hair had suitably grown in.

Her sudden blush was curious though he didn’t mention it. “On my mother’s life I swear it.” He carefully threaded his left hand through her hair. She still instinctively leaned into his touch. “I miss knowing how to make you feel good, and knowing what you like. I miss showing you how much I love you that way.”

_But do you still want me?_ Her mind cried out to him, afraid to ask that question. She was uncomfortable with the fact that she’d lost so much sexual confidence in such a short time and she absolutely hated Sawyer for it. “I miss it. I had a dream about it last night.” She felt her face grow warm.

Her shyness was so dear that he couldn’t stop himself from teasing her. “Oh really? Was I in it?” His arms circled her, with his long-fingered hands spread out against her back.

The humor that lit his face made her toes curl. “Yes, but don’t tell my husband.”

His eyes softened at her use of the word _husband_ as he added in a conspiratorial tone, “Your secret is safe with me.”

The phonebook-list-worthy voice sent shivers down her neck as neediness mixed with anxiety coiled its way through her and she didn’t exactly know how to explain what she was feeling at that moment. There was no question in her mind that he loved and respected her. She wasn’t afraid of him. However, pride prevented her from outright asking him to make a move on her. “Richard I...I trust you. You know that right?”

She was very obviously trying to read him as her large, dark eyes searched his face. He knew that she wasn’t referring to the simple conversation they were having as much as she was trying to analyze his hesitance. He’d always understood that Stevie had never pretended that her innate sexuality wasn’t important to her and that she would fight hard to get that part of herself back. She'd stressed over and over in therapy that she knew the difference between violence and sex. He also knew that the fact that a good share of affection and intimacy that they were able to retain was not to be taken for granted. But the thought that anything he could do bore the risk of making her relive the ugliness made him uneasy to put it mildly. Considering the debacle of the past two weeks, the last thing he wanted to do is hurt her.

Still the gentleman, still he didn’t make a single move towards...anything. Sliding out of his arms, she turned towards the window and watched as the snowflakes fluttered around in the street lights. “Unless you’d rather not.”  _  
_

 


	29. What you've taught me...What I've learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience, kind words and most of all giving me the audience to tell my little story to. I hope you like this chappie :)

_The road to hell is paved with good intentions...not exactly husband of the year material are you Richard?_ Taking a moment, hesqueezed his eyes shut as he scrubbed his face with his hands. Stevie mistook his reluctance to _act_ _on_ his desire for her as a _lack_ _of_ desire for her. He knew this was a possibility because he’d been warned about it. He didn't want to hurt her. _But that's not all, is it? You're afraid. You don't want her to look at you and see him. And you'll know it because either her eyes will either reflect the horror she went through or they will go dead._ _Dammit_...He needed to man up. Funny thing about _manning up_ was that he knew full well that his wife was the strongest person he knew, and he loved her for it. Words weren’t going to fix this and honestly the last thing he wanted to do was to ruin the moment further with a lengthy explanation of his actions.

Placing his hands on her slender shoulders, smoothing them down her arms and folding her into his embrace. He honestly could have remained there forever, breathing her in. Vanilla and now what he'd mistaken earlier for citrus was ginger. Which she had explained at dinner that cinnimon made her nauseous at the moment and ginger settled the stomach. He stayed there, holding her without words until she'd fully relaxed her wounded posture. Then into her ear he said, "Oh trust me, I’d rather…” before he gently turned her so that she was facing him. His fingers threaded through her silken tumble of hair as he waited for her to glance up at him through her velvety lashes.

Her expression showed her confusion. "You'd rather what?" His touch had been gentle and soothing and his tone was so light so that when she saw heat in his eyes she giggled nervously. _Ohmygosh_! The seductive purr of his sex-and-chocolate voice made her insides hum while the little tugs on her hair that were the result of his touch sent shivers through her body. Richard had an innate sex appeal that was hard to resist. Stevie was always initially interested and Lord knows her heart craved his touch. But while her mind wanted her to rip his clothes off, what had been done to her had all but ruined her physical response. _Fuck you Sawyer._ She was determined to take things as far as she could without a flashback and prayed that her body would remember. 

It was fun to watch her realize what he was talking about, and he could feel her pulse jump a little under his fingers. “...You just need to go first,” The corner of his mouth turned up roguishly, “if that's alright with you.”

Perhaps it was the pregnancy hormones, or that smolder in his eyes or the time away from him but there was no mistaking that needy little ache that started in her belly sending an achy little twinge between her legs. _Oh how I've missed you!  
_

He had barely a moment to prepare as she whimpered his name, winding her slender arms around his neck. When she’d dragged his head down so that she could lay a long, deep, drugging kiss on him.

It was a kiss to end all kisses as she drank him in. In no hurry to end it, she indulged herself the time to savor the firmness of his lips, and the texture of the stubble surrounding them. His response was everything she needed it to be as if he was saying, _I’ve missed you too._ No other man on earth kissed the way Richard did when he kissed her.

Though the past couple of weeks she couldn't have felt farther from him, in reality he hadn’t let go, even when she had given him a good solid shove. The hole that had been left in her heart was slowly being filled and the scars on her soul were fading as portions of her old self re-awakened. For the first time in weeks, she didn't feel broken or damaged in some way. And if she were honest with herself, perhaps it was the first time she'd actually felt entirely that way since Casey. Richard had pulled her from past nightmares and held her hand tightly as she’d navigated her way through hell. He taught her how to  trust. Richard's love and care were a perfect match to her own feelings for him. This man had shown her that needing someone didn't make a person weak. And she had faith that he would always be there, even before she knew she needed him, and even when she stubbornly refused to admit it. She learned that Richard was there to lend her his strengthwhen she had used up all she'd had within her and that it was okay to ask for it. 

First he thought it was the act of her kissing him after all they’d been through together in the past few weeks that elevated the level of intimacy between them. Richard was blown away by the heat he felt in her since he fully understood her recent frustrations. His hand ghosted down the length of her back, showing her that he wanted to be closer, but asking permission through the tenderness of his movements. When she melted right into him, he let out a long sigh filled with equal parts relief and pleasure.

She’d taken full advantage of that brief parting of his lips to deepen her kiss. Her silky sweet invasion was a total sensory assault and he was powerless to control the moan that escaped him. The sudden upward curve of her lips alerted him to her cheeky little smile. As their lips parted he answered it by nipping her upper lip playfully. Those large eyes were lit with mischief as she leaned with her temptingly sensuous lips only to pull back at the last minute. It was driving him mad. She’d pulled that move twice more before he caught on to what it was she was wanting from him.

Richard practically growled the word _tease_ as his mouth descended on hers, matching her raw neediness with a clawing hunger of his own. It had been far too long since he’d indulged himself the pleasure of kissing Stevie like this. It was like coming home after a long time away. As arousal spread through him, he knew he needed a moment to slow down. He playfully nipped at her lip ring as he pulled back looking down at her. She had the look of a woman who’d been thoroughly kissed. Unabashed satisfaction appeared on his face as he said, “That was pretty nice, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Why is this so awkward? It occurred to her that she was as nervous as she’d been that very first time they’d slept together. Biting down on her lip she let her forehead fall against his chest. “I’m sorry. I used to be better at this. I guess I’m a little rusty.”

His voice voice vibrated his chest, “Better at what?”

“This…foreplay, seduction…”

He caught her chin with his finger and drew her gaze upward until their eyes met. His other hand planted itself firmly against her bum and he pressed their bodies together just firmly enough that she could feel the straining evidence of his arousal pressed against her belly. “Oh you’re doing better than you think you are, love. Then again all you really have to do is just stand there and look up at me with those eyes of yours. You're so incredibly sexy, Stevie.”

Her face grew hot as she giggled nervously, and she tried to make her next question sound matter of fact. “Even pregnant?” She knew she'd failed. 

 _A ha._..His eyes searched her face for a moment. “You’re nervous because your body has changed a little?”

Her lashes swept downward as she nodded. A telltale tear slipped down her face. "More than a little."

He gathered her close and kissed her head once again. “I suppose you didn't have to worry about that last time.”

She glanced up at him sniffing back her tears. "That’s true.”

“Well you don't have to worry about it this time either.” When she worried her lip he qualified his comment, “For entirely different reasons, I assure you.”

“Oh well that’s a relief.” She giggled. “So I was thinking…”

“Dangerous thing really.” He felt her relax.

“I'll try not to make a habit of it I promise." 

"Okay but just this once, tell me what you were thinking."

"I was thinking about your sweater."

His brows rose, "Did you know that you exchange the words 'jumper' and 'sweater' at random?" When she rolled her eyes he chuckled, "Okay what about my...sweater."

She liked the way he drew out the word just to bother her. "I was thinking I rather like it."

"Oh well it's new, I'll be sure to let my mum know you approve of her choice. But you needed to mention it now exactly why?"

She traced the pattern of the knit with her finger as she nodded, "Mmm well yeah. Because I bet it would look really good on this rug.”

He threw his head back and barked with laughter at her unexpected come-on before it went up over his head and landed unceremoniously at their feet. “Like that?”

"I don't know... I'll have to tell you later as I can't seem to make myself look away...It's like I've won the husband lottery.” She shrugged out of her sweater and let it fall.

He chuckled, blushing and shaking his head, “You're good for my…” He watched her take a deep breath for courage before her t-shirt added to the pooling pile of clothing on the floor. “...ego.” Not much had changed, and yet what had changed, literally had changed everything. He was staring down at her small, but undeniably present belly that hadn't been there the last time he'd seen her. When Richard had pictured getting married and having a family someday, he hadn't pictured the bride being pregnant. Not that there was anything wrong with that in his eyes, it was simply that he'd seen himself as somewhat traditional, perhaps careful in that regard. Lee would have used the word boring. He did realize the irony of that considering that he could never quite find what he was looking for. And then he'd met this doe-eyed, tattooed, pierced, spunky little pixie who continuously challenged his world view. And moreover, she taught him how to love.

Love came to Stevie in a way that made it seem like that was her natural state of being sometimes. Looking back on when they met, for the second time anyhow, she'd freely let it happen before the words came, in spite of the potential pitfalls ahead of them. However, she didn't see him through rose colored glasses. It was clear to him that she accepted exactly who he was with understanding and respect. This was a woman who loved him when he didn't feel particularly lovable. He learned that in order to love anyone so deeply, you opened yourself up to a level of anguish that to his knowledge had no equal. She embraced that freely because, to her, loving him was worth the risk. Stevie's love was selfless and protective. Two weeks ago, she had been willing to go through heartbreak for the sake protecting of a tiny little life growing inside of her that at the time, no one could see. She was a mother who loved her baby...correction, _their_ baby. _I'm having a baby too aren't I?_ The weight of that realization hit him like one of Stevie's proverbially dropped anvils.

It was that moment that she'd heard Richard's breath catch as there was no other sound in the room, but the clock ticking away on the wall. She tried to be patient while he stood there, mouth slightly agape, looking at her. The atmosphere was filled with an unnamed tension that was making her increasingly nervous by the minute. “I tried to warn you that…well it's not the same as the last time we...”

His bluer than blue eyes met hers, stopping her nervous chatter. “There was no way you could have possibly prepared me for how I’d feel at this very moment.”

 


	30. Coyotes, knickers and phone books Oh MY!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!
> 
> I know this one has been a long time coming. I'm sorry for that but there was so much going on leading up to it that could not be ignored. I've written and deleted this more times than I care to admit as I wanted a good balance. I did draw from my own experiences for some of this. No not the part with the you know who husband. 
> 
> Anyhow, thank you all for your patience. I hope like crazy that this meets expectations. You've all been wonderfully sweet with your interest and comments. 
> 
> Fair warning, this story is about to come to an end. Before you send out the lynch mob, I do promise that it's not the last you'll see of this particular couple. After all I am doing a series that I promise that I've not abandoned. So one more very fun chapter and a possible epilogue are in order. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading XOXO!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have to remind everyone that this is a complete work of fiction and nonsense that I made up and should not be taken as an insult to real life people.

Chapter 30 

 

> _His bluer than blue eyes met hers, stopping her nervous chatter. “There was no way you could have possibly prepared me for how I’d feel at this very moment.”_

There were several heartbeats where Richard held Stevie’s gaze before she smiled nervously, “So…that’s a good thing right? Because I’d hate to wake up tomorrow morning to discover you’d chewed your own arm off.”

Richard was only confused for a moment by the reference to what a coyote caught in a trap would do to save its own life. Stevie had such a funny way about her when it came to dealing with situations that were uncomfortable or awkward. _Oh how I’ve missed you!_ As much as he was inclined to crack a huge grin, he gave her a wry little smile in its place while he replied, “Oh well I’d order room service before I would resort to cannibalism.” He was rewarded with a grin.

One thing was certain, she met the perfect match for her sense of humor. “Well that’s a huge relief.”

Snagging her elbow, he pulled her to him. “Cheeky girl.” There it was, that voice that made her weak in the knees, dripping with dark promises in its tone.

She thrilled at the feel of him under her fingertips as her hands wandered and explored his lean, fit upper body. As her fingers grazed his nipples, his breathing became choppy in response. His hands, which were spread out across her lower back, flexed a little but didn’t move. He was true to his word, she was in control, this was on her terms which meant she had to initiate. He really was the most wonderful, considerate man. At the same time, it was frustrating the hell out of her. _The pregnant bride is shy on her wedding night…_ A nervous giggle escaped her over that thought before she dropped her forehead against his chest over her own foolishness. “Fuck…” she murmured on a slightly exasperated sigh.

His chest vibrated as he said. “Something funny or naughty is going on up there. Out with it.”

Taking a deep breath, she glanced up at him through her lashes. “Um…” _Come on Stevie, just tell him._ “I was wondering if you’d like to get naked and mess up that elegantly made bed over there?”

Her blush very much reminded him of their first night together. She looked so sweet and sounded so sheepish that it was all he could do not to scoop her up and toss her onto the bed. His eyes crinkled at the corners and the smile could be heard in his voice. “Is that a trick question?”

“Richard, it’s not funny.”

He leaned down so that they were nose to nose before he answered, “I’m not laughing at you, love.” She rolled her eyes. “Honestly I’m not. I’m absolutely delighted by you.”

She couldn’t help but smile at. “I know I’m being a freak about this.” Her breathy sigh indicated her mixed emotions. So much had happened on a day that had started out in a place that would never have foreshadowed such an outcome. She worried her lip as she explained, “I just want it…this to be perfect.”

“Sweetheart?” His voice was the voice of reason as he straightened up so that he could search her face. When she met his gaze, the love shining in his eyes made her shiver as he tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s already perfect.”

“Yeah, you say that now but I’m wearing the most godawful pair of underpants I own because I didn’t think I’d be impressing anyone today much less getting married.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Do you honestly think I notice your knickers?” He casually took hold of her hand and led her over to the bed and took a seat. As he pulled her into his lap, he sighed with contentment. This was just one more little luxury he’d taken for granted.

“You did the first time.” Running her fingers through his hair she noted that he’d need a haircut fairly soon.

The sensation of her nails against his scalp was making him hard. “Well in my defense that was because it was the first time you took your clothes off in front of me. I promise not to notice them tonight.” A crooked grin flashed across his face. “But if you’re really worried I could see if there’s a phone book somewhere to take care of that little problem.”

“You are such an ass!” She gasped as he barked with laughter.

There was a just a touch of sadness that flickered in her eyes. Though it was gone as soon as it had appeared, he couldn’t stop himself from asking her about it. “What is it?”

 _Fucking pregnancy hormones!_ Stevie thought as she had to swallow in order to be able to speak. “How long has it been since it’s been like this between us?”

Richard understood exactly what she was asking him. The past several weeks hadn’t been easy on either of them. That easy playfulness that seemed to dance between them from the day they’d met at the salon in New York had been virtually missing. As much as he hated to admit it, his reluctance to leave Stevie alone and his over-protectiveness had been making them both a bit twitchy. 

The time away from each other might have been a necessary thing for them both to do some soul searching. It was unfortunate how it had come about. However, their mutual independence was an important element of the success of their relationship. A script had been brought to him a few weeks ago for a project in L.A. He had considered not taking the job, a thought that would not have crossed his mind a few months ago. In fact, he hadn’t mentioned it to Stevie because he would have had to lie to her about his reasons for not taking it. He thought Stevie had been the only one who was changed by what had happened to her and he couldn’t have been more wrong about that. He'd been treating her like a fragile doll. He vowed to bring it up the following day at breakfast.

He pushed those thoughts aside so that he could focus on his wife. “What matters, love, is right now. And right now…There was something you said about getting naked?”

Her grin lit up her entire face and banished all evidence of anxiety there. “Oh god yes!” She stood as they both removed the remainder of their clothes. She’d been careful to remove the leggings and the underwear together. Before he could wonder what he should do next she murmured, “Lay down.” The heat in her breathy voice had his entire body on alert for what was to come.

Stevie sinuously worked her way up his body, kissing a path from his chest to his neck, finally capturing his mouth in several long deep kisses. The way he groaned as she moved to straddle him, pressing her soft wet heat against his straining shaft sent a wave of arousal ripping through her. It had been far too long since she been able to go this far with him. “Please touch me.”

He smiled against her mouth and was more than happy to oblige. The smoothness of her skin and the way his touch gave her goosebumps was one of his favorite things about her body. He filled his hands with her breasts and toyed with her nipples as her tongue darted inside his mouth, dancing circles with his. Her little whimpers and the way she writhed against him nearly sent him over the edge right then. “I need a moment.” Richard took several long breaths before he met her worried gaze.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, no seriously I just need a moment so I don’t embarrass myself.”

“Oh?” Realization came over her and she moved back a bit and gave him the room to sit up as well. She glanced down at the rigid flesh between their bodies and resisted the urge to touch it. “Should I talk about un-sexy things?”

He chuckled, “I doubt it would help with your magnificent breasts right there, begging to be kissed.” He cupped one gently. “Is it me or are they bigger than before?”

“You would notice that.” She laughed, “Yes, they are, and my bras are uncomfortably too small.”

“It doesn’t hurt when I touch them, does it? ”

She giggled. “Did you read that in your book as well?”

“I’m glad my concern for you is amusing.”

Not only was his tone dry, but he’d stiffened a bit as well. She didn’t expect that their time apart would leave him just as insecure as it did her. Clearly, she’d hurt his feelings. “Oh no! Richard I was just teasing you. Fuck, don’t be like that. It’s not like I expect you to be a caveman or something. It’s just…you make me so happy. Hey the alternative is for me to cry happy tears, so, count your blessings.”

He drew a long breath, feeling foolish for being so easily wounded. “Sorry, I just mmpf…” It wasn’t difficult to get him to stop talking the moment her lips pressed against his. Just as he was settling into the kiss, she ended it.

As she drew back she smiled devilishly. “No more apologizing. Can we get back to sexy time? I haven’t had an orgasm in…well the last time with you.”

He blinked. “Really?”

“Not that I haven’t tried. I even resorted to Googling photos of you last week.” He stared at her in amazement, “What? It’s true. But nope, no big O for me. Frustrating as hell really. So if…that doesn’t happen, don’t take it personally.”

“I promise I won’t.” He said that in a way that indicated that this would be a personal mission for him. As he drew her against him, he kissed a trail along her jaw and as he arrived at her ear he purred, “I want to touch you everywhere…if that’s okay.”

Her head rolled back as he pressed kisses against her throat. Her answer came out as a whimper, “Oh yes please…”

His firm lips were indulging themselves in the luxury that was her creamy skin at the hollow of her throat. His tongue traced the contours of her collar bones and as every breath she took hitched in her throat his kisses gradually trailed lower and lower until she could feel his hot breath caress her nipples. He made sure to enjoy every inch of each of her full breasts first, driving her mad with anticipation.

Finally, he drew one of the straining points between his lips, she shivered as lightning bolts of raw pleasure lanced through her body. He paid thorough attention to one before he moved to the other. Her head was rolled back and she moaned and whimpered with every little tug as he gently sucked at her nipple. Moving one arm to secure her against him he gradually moved his other hand up her thigh, between her legs. He hesitated, giving her time to object to him taking further liberties on her person, but she practically sobbed out the word, “Please!”

He ran his fingers over the closely trimmed hairs before he parted the warm, damp folds, allowing his thumb to find her clit and skillfully massage her into the first orgasm she’d had in a painfully long time. As she came down from her high, he was prepared for the possibility that this was all she’d be able to handle. But instead she closed her hand around his shaft and began to stroke him slowly.

She so desperately wanted to love him with her body. She wiggled and moved until the tip of him was resting against her opening. He was surprised that she wanted this, but was smart enough not to ask her if it was what she really wanted. Her eyes told him that she needed him to say something to her to indicated that he wanted her this way.

He nudged her hand aside to hold himself up for her, “Let me do that while you…” The air whooshed out of his lungs as she eased herself onto him until they were joined. The sensation of being with her this way was not only physically gratifying but there was the realization that he felt, for the lack of a better term, complete. He wasn’t prepared for the rush of emotion that came to the surface as they began to move together that he finally understood what she might have been feeling the first time she told him she loved him. Words weren’t enough to explain how he felt. But as hot tears wet his cheeks he gave her the words anyway. “I love you so much…Stevie I…” She had been too caught up in their mutual pleasure to respond coherently. 

There had been such raw vulnerability on his face that demonstrated the level of trust he had in her. Being the woman he shared his life with paled in comparison to the realization that even after she'd left him like she had, broken his heart, after everything they'd both gone through, he had absolute faith in her. She might have to share Richard Armitage with the world. But the man he was when he was with her, as her husband, belonged to her alone. She knew he felt the hot wet tears on his chest because he gathered her closer to him. "I love you." She whispered. As she felt him chuckle she added, "Bite me I'm not doing it."

"Oh come on, just this one time?"

"No."

He sighed, "Fine, I'll stop. Though I was thinking that I fancy those bright pink flowered knickers. I might have to buy you several pairs." 

She groaned. "Fuck off, Armitage." 

"I love you too." 

 


	31. Brotherly Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I've been a bad writer and have not kept up on this like I should. It took me some time to figure out how to approach this part. There is a little trigger warning because there is some reflection and discussion of what happened to Stevie. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience <3

* * *

Richard shifted his weight from one hip to the one against the countertop of Campbell’s kitchen. Liz had insisted on throwing a celebratory dinner of sorts for Stevie and him. It was a time to celebrate. He had exactly what he'd always wanted but had all but given up on until he met Stevie. Now he was married to the love of his life and had a baby on the way. Not just a baby, _MY_ baby. As he stared down at his glass of wine, he couldn’t remember being more uncomfortable in his own skin than he was at that moment. Colin had made it clear back in November that he was available to talk when he was ready. At the time, he’d dismissed it. In many ways, Richard knew he’d never be entirely ready to open up. He was famous for being private in a lot of respects. But the public had no idea that carried through to his personal life. He was by no means cold, but there were some things that he was unwilling to share with anyone.

However, this something was eating him alive. One can only ignore one’s inner demons for so long. And while he and Stevie were in their safe little bubble of newly-wedded bliss away from the rest of the world he was fine. But he didn’t want to admit that the reason he didn’t want Stevie to do a paternity test wasn’t entirely selfless on his part. She put her foot down. The medical history and therefore the health of the baby were at stake. And given the fact that Stevie had absolutely no control over any of the circumstances following her assault, who was he to deny her whatever she needed at that point?

That was exactly the root of the problem. It had hit him square in the face when he’d happened upon Stevie at the supermarket. She was pregnant and he had actually suggested that they discuss other living arrangements after the holiday in a coldly written note left on the dining room table. Regardless of the fact that Stevie had stormed out on him, how could he have even considered actually leaving her for even a moment? He had a low opinion of men who did that, yet that’s exactly what he had done. It was bad enough to do it when the identity of her baby’s father was in question. But then it was confirmed that the baby was, in fact, his. He couldn’t possibly have hated himself more for having done it. And what was worse, no one had once pointed that out to him.

“Stamp your passport?”

Clearly, that particular expression was a Goodwin thing. Even the cadence of the phrase was the same. Richard’s wry little smile ghosted his lips but didn’t reach his eyes. “Just thinking.” It was ironic how he would consider confiding in the brother-in-law who was ready for blood upon their first meeting. Sure Colin liked to take the piss, but it was definitely in a brotherly manner and less as a protector of Stevie. If anyone would have judged him harshly in light of recent circumstances, it should have been him.

“By the look of you, nothing pleasant.” Colin reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. “Want a fill up on the wine?”

“Sure but you won't find it in there. You’re not supposed to chill red wine.” He watched his brother-in-law shrug and look over the counter to the small wine rack, spotting the open bottle before bringing it to him.

“Pity really, it might taste better.”

Richard couldn’t help but be amused by Colin’s unapologetic distaste for wine. “It tastes fine, at least nice wine does.”

 

"If you say so." Colin shrugged. “The lot of it tastes like an old woman’s sachet drawer to me.”

A chuckle escaped Richard as he shook his head. “I’ll not try to wonder too hard how you might know how that tastes.”

Colin smiled, happier to see that Richard had relaxed a bit. But as he could tell that Richard didn't actually seem less miserable he cocked an eyebrow, “I doubt you asked me in here to discuss the taste of little bags of dried flowers and leaves. You don’t look like the happily married man I saw just a week ago. Considering the recent news, I would have thought you’d been relieved.”

Richard’s long, slender fingers rubbed at his chin. “Oh, I don’t know...I _am_ happily married. Marrying your sister was what I'd wanted more than anything. Honestly, I wanted that far sooner than was probably appropriate. I guess I’m relieved that I didn’t manage to unforgivably bollocks things. Or should be relieved if I felt that what I did was forgivable."

 _Ah…there it was._ Colin's eyes met Richard's. “You’re being terribly hard on yourself you know. That was one hell of a situation you were caught up in. I don’t know that I would have handled it any better. You _both_ panicked, mate. She fully admits that she walked out on you first. Gave you back the ring and everything.”

"Only after I'd stupidly suggested we postpone the wedding." Setting the wine glass down, Richard scrubbed at his face. "You know what? The therapist warned me that there would be a point where she would actively try to test me and push me away. And I didn't believe her. I had even said, 'Stevie's not like that.'"

"You didn't know her before she'd met you. She was definitely like that. Played the part of a wounded animal quite well. I haven't known you long, but I gather that's something you are also capable in a less obvious way."

Richard snorted. “Less obviously than nearly abandoning your sister…over a stupid argument no less," Richard added derisively. "I loathe people who do that. I should have stayed and fought for it more. She deserved that much, better actually.”

Colin’s steady gaze rested on Richard’s face as the man had unloaded that burden in a single breath. “But you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Abandon her.”

Richard thought about that for a moment. “Is it that simple?”

“That part is, yes. Stevie loves you and you love her. That much is perfectly simple. Everyone who knows and loves both of you can see that you'd take a bullet for her." Colin took a deep breath. "But I know there's more to what's going on. More than you're letting on. Something you'd rather not think about or talk about, isn't there?"

Richard's stomach hurt for a moment. Dreams of the night Stevie had been attacked flickered through his mind like evil specters. In some of them, he had stopped it from occurring. Others where her family had blamed him. They were sickeningly vivid, especially the one where he'd managed to catch Sawyer and beat him within an inch of his life.

“You blame yourself, don't you?”

Colin’s voice had penetrated his dark thoughts. Richard's surprise was written on his face. “How…”

“One in five. Odds are you’ve actually been with other women who were assaulted as well without knowing.” Colin watched him process that bit of harsh truth for a moment before he added, “I was dating a woman in college who was slipped something while we were at a party. The bastard was lucky I wasn't the one who discovered them. He was a friend of mine. I blamed myself for a very long time.” Colin, like Stevie, had a disturbingly unwavering gaze.

"How did you handle it?"

"Not well. At first yeah. We'd only been together for a little over a month when it happened. But I took her to the hospital, was there while she recovered. I wanted to do the right thing, be the good guy right? But eventually we grew apart. She pushed me away and I let it happen. In many ways I was relieved…God I was such a prick. It wasn't until I'd done my ER rotations and had to help process a rape kit that I fully grasped what she'd gone through." Colin shook his head. "Too late. So you see, you never actually abandoned her. And that’s what matters the most. You need to forgive yourself or it will destroy the two of you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One week later…

 

The room smelled of fresh paint as Colin and Campbell set Richard’s giant leather sofa on the new living room rug. Stevie was standing where the coffee table would be placed, gazing at the collection of art on the wall behind it. “Do you think that’s too much?”

“I think this bloody sofa weighs too much.” Colin groaned.

Campbell snorted. “You've just gone soft, old man.”

Colin brows shot up. “Fuck off…I can still kick your arse.”

“Not in my living room.” Stevie hissed with impatience. “The wall? What do you think?”

Cam frowned. “It's green. What about it?” When Stevie punched him in the arm he yelped, “…OW! A bit temperamental, are we?”

Campbell swore and began to rub the spot more out of outrage than pain, scowling darkly at his brother who was wiping the corner of his eyes as he barked with laughter. “You’ve had two children and still haven’t figured out that angering a pregnant woman is dangerous business?”

“Heh, when I was pregnant with Sean especially I think I put the mental in temperamental.” Liz came up behind and swatted her husband’s backside as she shrugged, “But, since he’s gorgeous, he gets away with a lot more than he should I’m afraid.”

Stevie snorted. “Yeah well since we’re not that sort of family that’s not likely to work where I’m concerned is it? So you’re just going to have to be nice to me.”

Danielle entered the room with Sean on her hip. He was diligently playing with the beaded necklace she wore. “Well I like the wall, for what it’s worth. You have a flair for putting things together that you wouldn’t expect to work out.”

Stevie wasn’t certain, but did her brother’s face change when her friend entered the room? Danielle seemed to be actively avoiding looking at him. Interesting…Filing that bit away for the moment as she answered, “Sort of a metaphor for Richard and Me don’t you think?”

Danielle sighed, “Oh I don’t know, you two aren’t so mismatched.”

Stevie’s hand found the curve of what used to be her flat stomach. Inside her a tiny life grew, one that was confirmed to be Richard’s baby. “Sometimes I wonder if he got more than what he’d bargained for with me.” She shrugged, “I’ll go make sandwiches, who’s hungry?”

As Stevie left the room Liz frowned and murmured. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

Worrying her lip, Danielle shook her head, “Don’t you think she’s been a bit down in the mouth? I mean, not like she was before the Holiday. But she’s not as good as she was right after the wedding. I did ask her if she was feeling alright. She said everything was fine. But I’m not convinced.”

Cam rubbed his hands through his hair as he turned to his brother. “She talks to you.”

"She’s a grown woman, Cam.” Colin frowned, but when three pairs of eyes implored him he cursed under his breath and followed his sister into the kitchen where Stevie was slicking tomatoes with her deft little hands. “You make that look so easy.”

There was a spot in the kitchen where one could hear a conversation in the living room perfectly. Maybe she shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but then again they were discussing her. She bristled a little. “Sent you in to check on me?”

“Basically, yes, though I have ulterior motives.”

She could trust Colin to be totally honest with her. A wry smile appeared. “Beer’s in the fridge on the bottom left.”

He took his time selecting a bottle and pulling the top off. “So are you going to let me off the hook and tell me what’s eating you up inside? Don’t bullshit me Stevie, you’re not exactly the blissful newlywed that left Leicester a couple of weeks ago.”

“Hormones making me sensitive I guess.”

She wiped her hand on a dish towel as Colin took a long drink. His eyes never left hers. There were times that she absolutely hated how well he understood her.

“What? I’m fine, really.”

“Don’t do that.” Irritation rang through Colin’s voice.

It was Stevie’s turn to sound irritated. “Colin, I’m fine, really. Just my imagination going a little wild as of late.”

"Right... That’s why you're practically unraveling the dish cloth.” When she glanced up at him through her lashes and hastily set it aside on the counter next to her he added, “Your glare doesn't scare me, you know.”

With an impatient sigh she confessed. “Richard’s been different lately.”

Colin’s brows rose though he shouldn't have been surprised that his shrewd little sister had noticed. “You two seemed to be okay when you left Leicester.”

“We were. I mean I'd almost expected things to be just a little bit awkward. In a number of ways, we were better than before. We cleared the air a lot, figured out how to talk to each other again. We even have a sex life again.”

“I don't know that I needed to know that.” He shook his head though the light in Stevie's eyes made him chuckle.

“Well I didn't get pregnant through immaculate conception, did I?”

“You did play the Virgin Mary for the Christmas pageant that once.”

“Yeah well the official position’s filled already, remember? You’re a guy, maybe you can help me sort this out. I’ve asked him what’s wrong so many times that he’s starting to get annoyed. Yet he’s been quiet, moody. And he keeps saying that he’s fine and not to worry”

Crossing his arms in front of him, Colin’s mouth curved a little at the corner. “Oh the irony…” 

“Really, Colin? I’m being serious. What if he’s having second thoughts?”

“About what?”

Stevie shrugged as she heard a full on belly laugh from Sean in the other room. Clearly the others were set to amuse themselves for a while. “Being married, being a dad…” 

Colin wasn't sure how he was going to navigate this without worrying Stevie more. That was the whole reason Richard had confided in him in the first place. “He doesn’t regret marrying you.” Pausing for a moment, he put his hand on his sister’s shoulder. “If he says you don’t need to worry, then he likely means it. Whatever he’s going through isn’t anything you’ve done and probably something you can’t help him with. Look, I know you women think men have this hidden agenda behind everything that we do, but we really don’t.” 

“Then what could it be if it isn’t me? You don’t think he was with someone while we were apart do you?” The mere thought of that made her feel suddenly nauseous. 

Colin frowned. “Are you mad? No…I know for a fact that he wasn’t and that’s not what’s eating at him.” The minute those words were out of his mouth, he wished like hell he could take them back because he knew that imploring look in her eyes. 

“Why would he come to you and not me?” 

Her voice was soft but so full of heartbreak that he actually winced. “He and I have something in common. I was dating someone who’d been sexually assaulted shortly after we became intimate. Straight away I’d let him know he could come to me if he needed someone to listen. He came to me at Campbell’s house. There are just some things he needs to sort out and you can’t be the one to help him with this.”

Stevie understood. “God Colin I had no idea..." She chewed her lip as she added, "I’m not going to ask you to break a confidence."

“Well he didn’t exactly swear me to secrecy, but he also didn't want to sort things out with you and end up hurting you. But I can assure you that Richard love you endlessly and considers himself a very lucky man."  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple more chapters to go and this one will come to an end. But don't worry, we'll stay in touch with these two love birds in the other stories in this series :)


	32. What not to name your baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, but life has been crazy. But I haven't forgotten or abandoned my stories. This one has one, maybe two chapters left and an epilogue. Thanks for coming along with my first go at this whole fanfic thing. I appreciate the feedback and the Kudos <3 This one's got some sexy time in it so don't read it on the boss's computer. ;)

By the time Richard could walk through the door of his London home, it was two in the afternoon. He was absolutely aching to see Stevie and he knew he’d put his assistant through hell to buy himself a few extra days with her before he had to head back to LA for his latest film project. It seemed like he and his wife were just beginning to regain their footing following his conversation with Colin when he had to leave for two weeks. Try as they might, their relationship had been forever changed since…And I can’t help but feel guilty for having a difficult time even thinking that word. The therapist had called it Survivor’s Guilt.

Lost in his thoughts as he rather mechanically unzipped his jacket, the nudge against his leg pulled him out of the hole and back to the present. That’s when he’d finally tuned into his surroundings. What had originally been a rather ‘vanilla’ living space had been transformed into something simultaneously beautiful and inviting. Stevie’d outdone herself this time. The vase that had once been a casualty of unrestrained mutual lust had been re glued and set back onto the little table, that had been re-finished. She’d been working diligently on the task when he’d left, incredibly frustrated over a small chip that wasn’t totally recoverable.

But her solution brought an immediate grin to his lips as there was now a child’s Avenger’s bandage over the spot. She never ceased to find ways of reminding him exactly why he was so in love with her. If that alone wasn’t enough, mundane, neutral walls were now a warm, sage color. Her favorite, deep purple overstuffed chair from her bedroom of her parents’ home was now in the corner by the window, next to a shelf stocked full with a collection of books that had once occupied the spare bedroom. Everything from the new rugs, the art, the window treatments and the adjoining dining room had a lovely mixture of sophistication and whimsy, adding something inviting to what had been already there to begin with. And what he loved the most about it was that it was not a copy of what had been done to the New York loft.

Beorn, now impatient with having been ignored, pawed at his leg before meowing up at him. Reaching down he chuckled as he lifted the demanding creature into his arms. “Yes, I missed you too, fluffy little tyrant. Even though you are a bloody cat.” In spite of his backhanded insult, the animal didn’t seem to hold it against him as he began rubbing his face against Richard’s beard. “Now where’s your mum? Is she napping do you suppose? Should we surprise her?”

Richard found her on the bed, curled around his pillow, fast asleep. Her feet were bare, but she was still dressed for work in a pair of black jeans and lace trimmed, grey blouse. Her shirt’s hem rode up just enough to reveal that she could no longer close her jeans entirely as her belly grew. Still resisting maternity clothes. The overwhelming tide of emotions washed over him as he sat down on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes.

She felt his weight shift the bed and her eyes fluttered open. He was staring down at her with the most unusual expression on his face. “What?”

He shook his head as a crooked grin appeared. “I’ve been gone for two weeks, arrived three days earlier than expected and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

She giggled as she sat up, pushing her hair out of her face. “You were staring at me.”

“I might have missed my wife, just a little.” He commented as he winked playfully at her.

 _Wife_ …Her whole body thrilled over the way that word sounded as he’d said it. “Then hurry up and get over here.”

“A little impatient, are we?” His shoes made a tell-tale thud as they hit the floor before he crawled up onto the bed stretching out beside her and gathering her into his arms.

Her answer was to press her mouth to his in a kiss that reflected her neediness for him. Her lips, her softness, her scent were a potent combination that stirred him down below. She grinned knowingly against his mouth. “Your wife might have missed you too, just a little.”

His eyes darkened at the suggestive tone of her voice before he claimed her mouth with his own kiss. As her lips parted in a sigh, he deepened the kiss with a sweep of his tongue. Without thinking he grasped her thigh and rolled her onto her back, settling between her legs. Pressing his aching groin against her. When she shivered, he paused immediately making eye contact with her. His voice was a bit shaky. “I don’t want to be presumptuous…”

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so free with herself sexually. His concern for her didn’t make her feel broken this time and only made her realize that he’d always been that way with her. Her eyes danced with humor. “Oh, by all means, be presumptuous. Preferably with less clothing on and that impressively hard cock inside of me if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He absolutely loved it when she talked like that to him. He sat up and quickly unbuttoned his shirt, shrugging his way out of it.

Leaning up onto her elbows, her hungry gaze swept over his lean, well-muscled torso as he was stepping out of his pants. “This never, ever gets old.”

“What? Watching me undress?” When she bit the corner of her perfect little pout of a mouth and nodded eagerly a chuckle rumbled through him. “So be a good girl and…” He cast a glance down at the erection that was now poking out of the waistband of his underwear and took a moment to keep him from embarrassing himself the moment he touched her.

“And?” There was a note in her voice that caught his attention. When his gaze cut to hers he found her peering up at him through those lush, long lashes of hers when she purred, “What would you like me to do.”

Well then…As a dozen or so images of varying levels of depravity simultaneously flickered through his mind, his cock twitched. The triumphant gleam that appeared in her eyes suggested that she not only had caught his response to her suggestion, but also told him that he wasn’t misunderstanding what it was she wanted from him. Even still, he was a bit cautious and remained standing beside the the bed as he said, in a low but deliberate tone, “Unbutton your blouse.”

The bolt of arousal that shot through her melted away any worry about what he’d think of her body after two weeks being away as she reached for the buttons and slowly slid each one free one by one. Her eyes never left his as his gaze moved downward, following her trembling fingers. When she was finished, she began to remove it and he simply shook his head.

When her eyes implored, he moved to sit beside her on the bed and brushed her hair behind her shoulder, whispering in her ear, “Is it okay if I help?”

His hot breath sent shivers through her, giving her goosebumps. “Yes please,” was her response which was more of a gasp of pleasure than a whisper.

He threaded his gracefully long fingers through her hair and leaned down to kiss her as his free hand pushed the silky material from her body. It was then that he discovered a pale, sheer, pink, satin and lace bra that was daringly unlined and revealing while supporting a pair of breasts that were easily a whole cup size bigger than they’d been when he’d first had the pleasure of laying his eyes on them. He was unable to stop a grin of pure evil from spreading across his face. “I love my life…”

 

 

 

 

 

  
Stevie had spent a great deal of time while Richard was away, making and freezing soup since she no longer had any tolerance for the kind that came in a tin since she’d gotten pregnant. So when Richard suggested they stay in for the evening, they didn’t have to order take away food. Within 10 minutes there was chicken and wild rice soup warming on the stove.

“Love, have you seen the shirt that goes with these pajama bottoms?” Richard’s voice drew her attention as he came around the corner, wearing the pajama bottoms, with no shirt. He leaned his hip on the doorway and scratched at his scruffy jaw. “Ah, I see you have,” he said with a smirk.

Stevie’s laugh warmed him as she glanced down at the pilfered item of clothing. She reached for the top button, “I could give it back if you like.”

  
She’d admitted earlier that pregnancy hormones had done much to boost her libido, and allowed her to enjoy sex a little more freely again, to see it in action was something else entirely. He reached for her, kissing her senseless and taking advantage of the invitation to touch her by cupping one of her breasts. Whimpers, choppy breaths and little growls filled the air as they mutually tasted and groped every inch of exposed skin they could. Just when he was about to go further, her stomach growled, and his answered sending them into a fit of giggles. “We might starve to death at this rate.” Leaning his forehead against hers he added, “You can give it back to me later?”

As they sat down to dinner, the appreciative noises he made caused her to grin. He was unashamed as he commented, “Might be a cliché, but I've missed your cooking.”

“Considering the fact that our relationship was initially built on my cooking, that might make _me_ the cliché.”

“No, it was your excellent shampooing skills that started me wondering. Also, your taste in literature, and wine...Though your cooking reeled me in like a fish on a hook.”

“Speaking of wine…” Stevie stood up and darted off to the kitchen, “Adam brought over a couple of bottles of wine while he was here last week. Saying something about being married to me while pregnant and how they might come in handy.”

Richard threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, I don’t know, you’re not so bad. Besides, it wouldn’t feel right with me drinking while you can’t.”

“You say that now, but one of them is a certain Pinot Noir he acquired from New Zealand…” When Richard’s eyes lit up she sighed, “I honestly don’t mind.”

He kissed her quickly on the cheek saying, "You're perfect, you know that right?"

“I try not to let it go to my head.” She set the glass in front of him while also making certain that she had something to drink as well. When his eyes fell half-mast as he took his first sip, she giggled. “Would you two like to be alone?”

A crooked grin appeared, “No, but I’m thinking we should name our baby after Adam.”

“Michael will be crushed if we do.” When Richard’s brows rose she explained, “When your hairdresser quit, I was trying to talk Michael out of making me do your hair. No offense but I wasn’t sure I could manage, I was so fucking nervous.”

This bit of information obviously had Richard intrigued “Really? You didn’t look it. Maybe you’re a better actor than I thought.”

“At the end of the day, I do my job, right? He knew how crazy I was about you…well not you personally because I didn’t know you but…you know I was a fan.”

He felt his ears grow warm over that compliment. “I sort of gathered that based on your reaction, at least when I’d realized I’d met you beforehand. That time your eyes had welled up.”

“Fuck! You noticed that? I was trying so hard not to…”

He reached for her hand across the table, giving it a squeeze. “I didn’t think any less of you. It was humbling really. You were, after all, clueless that I was instantly attracted to you. Well obviously it ended up working out either way.”

She could still remember how she felt in the moment. “That’s still a bit unbelievable. But Michael’s comment as he sent me out onto the salon floor was, ‘You can name your first born son after me.’”

“You know, if my hairdresser hadn’t quit that morning, I would be wondering right about now if we’d been set up.” He pushed back a bit from the table and swirled the red liquid in his glass thoughtfully.

“I think at the time he was just winding me up because I was nervous. But later when he found out we were together he did say that he’d be alright with ‘Richard Michael’ since you really should get first billing.”

Richard actually winced, “I’d rather not do that to my child. Especially if he’d want to pursue acting someday.”

“Yeah and Richard is a terrible name for a girl. Imagine the teasing she’d get.”

He scratched at his jaw and shook his head as he cast her a look of pure amusement. But as he watched her, he was struck by the reality of what they were discussing. “It’s a bit of a big deal, giving a human being their name. How did you come up with a name for your daughter?” The words had tumbled out of his mouth before he’d thought that through. “Dammit, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to I…”

The fact that Richard acknowledged that their child was not her first child was a big deal. What’s more, he seemed perfectly comfortable doing so. They’d really come so far in the past couple of months. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind answering that. Adam and I couldn’t decide, so we each picked our three top choices and drew them out of a hat.”

“Seriously?”

“But there were rules, neither one of us wanted to name her after ourselves.”

“So no Alices?”

“Let’s file that under H- for HELL NO She’d be forever forced to deny any knowledge of the location of a particular looking glass. We had a blast going through the baby name books giggling at some of them, like who names their kid Hortense anymore?”

“What if I told you that was my dearly departed grans name?”

“I’d still say no, and I know it isn’t.” She grinned, “What about you? What are some names you’d outright veto from the list?”

He took a moment to ponder that before saying, “I don’t want my family mistaken for someone’s Christmas gift basket. So no food items for names.”

She giggled, “There’s a blog about that somewhere. I think broccoli was the example that was given for that one.”

“Broccoli? How could any parent be so cruel? Was that for a boy or a girl?” He chuckled, “I guess it doesn’t matter either way. But they’d never be taken seriously for public office, that’s for certain.”

 

 


	33. Bump Watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been late, but I'm determine to finish up this story for you in a more timely fashion.

_S—Flight’s just now boarding._

The time stamp on that message was thirty minutes passed, which meant that Richard had likely missed his opportunity to talk to his wife for the last time before her connecting flight in Boston. It was a flight that had been delayed several times and meant that it would be another 24 hours until he could be with her again. The fact that he went straight to her voicemail confirmed that her phone was off and he had to resist the urge to throw his own phone in frustration.

Between his filming schedule and his latest work with Audible he hadn't had a spare moment to himself to miss his wife until that morning when he knew she’d checked in at the airport. But the fact that someone with an iPhone stalked her through Heathrows posted photos online that showcased a reasonable suspicion that she was pregnant had raised his innate protectiveness of her. He was fiercely protective of her privacy above all else. Though her response had been maddeningly cheerful. “Hey, at least they don’t think I just got fat. Cat’s out of the bag, I’m afraid. They know we do it.”

 _Damn that cheeky woman!_ He couldn't stifle his chuckle as he recalled that small exchange between them. She was always capable of bringing him out of one of his moods with that unapologetic bluntness.

“You just cycled through about six different emotions there, Richard.” Adam commented as he approached.

Rubbing his jaw, he straightened away from the wall he’d been leaning against as he waited for Adam to arrive. Originally the three of them were to go to dinner, until Stevie’s flight plans had changed. “Frustrated by the delay, loathing the lack of privacy, amused by my wife…and a few things in between that I won't likely discuss with anyone.” Richard’s brows rose expressively.

“Fair enough. Though I doubt you would come close to shocking me since I am supposed to make sure that whatever you’re wearing to the awards gala makes her want to jump your bones.”

"Oh god." Richard felt his face grow hot though he barked with laughter anyhow. “Did she really?”

“Please, why would I need to make something like that up in regards to Stevie? You do realize who you're married to, right?” Adam commented before turning to the waitress to order a bottle of wine.

“How can I possibly forget? She’s just great for my ego, really.” An ironic smile played about his lips a he looked over the menu. He was tired of restaurant food and missed his wife’s cooking. “I’ve never felt homesick like I do since I’ve met her. And it’s not about a place more than it is about being with her. She’s my anchor to sanity.”

Adam smiled at him. “Well then you’re both fucked since she says the same thing about you, you know.”

“Yet I don’t know how she puts up with my schedule, with a baby on the way. I feel like she’s had to do everything on her own. I missed the ultrasound.” He rubbed at his jaw in agitation.

Adam’s brows rose at the edge of self-loathing he heard in Richard’s voice. “Through no fault of your own, remember? Your filming schedule got pushed out a bit. You know that Stevie doesn’t hold that against you and she’d lecture you for beating yourself up over it too.”

Richard had to smile in spite of his moment of self-doubt. “You’re not wrong about that.”

 

 

Kevin carried Stevie’s bags into the condo that the studio had for Richard. He hadn’t been kidding, it really was nice, with a glorious view of the mountains in the backdrop of the semi-private patio and pool. It was shared with only 4 other units and those were also rented by the studio for others working on the current project. It was unusually warm for it being mid February and the water looked inviting. That will have to wait for later, since she had the recording of the ultrasound on a flash drive and didn’t think she could hold off showing that to Richard as soon a she came through the door. According to his text, he’d be joining her soon. She nearly giggled as the rush of nervousness swept over her.

“Nice, yeah?” Kevin commented, not knowing the nature of Stevie’s thoughts at that moment. “I’m staying in the one just there with 2 other assistants on the project. It’s a pretty sweet deal for a small project like this.”

“All depend on who’s writing the paycheck I suppose?” Stevie pulled her laptop from her bag and set it up.

“Indeed. If you don’t need anything…Richard should be back momentarily.”

As if on queue, the front door opened, and Richard strode through, tossing his keys and wallet onto the kitchen counter. Dressed in a black t-shirt, jeans and a pair of casual shoes, he looked so damn good as he removed his sunglasses and turned towards Stevie. _Oh god! This man is my husband!_ That rush of pleasure that swept over her never seemed to lessen and it never got old. But the look in his eyes literally took her breath away.

When Stevie’s plane had landed, Kevin had texted Richard. The moment that had happened, he was ready to wrap up for the day. As it was, he’d been rather put out when he found out he couldn’t be at the airport for her, not that he actually said that to anyone present at the time. There was no sense in whinging about it, as work still needed to be done. But when Kevin’s car was parked in the small driveway, his body tingled with anticipation. That photograph of Stevie at the airport, visibly more pregnant than she was the last time he’d seen her had made being away from her excruciating. He felt like he was missing so much.

Now there she was, leaning over her computer for a moment, and as she straightened up, the blouse she was wearing was being pushed out from her body by her growing belly. No wonder the doctor suspected that she was further along than originally assumed. The sight of her rendered him momentarily speechless, as he was so swept up in the emotions of that moment, loving her more then he ever thought possible. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and didn’t want to. He never wanted to be away from her again as long as he lived and had no idea how he was going to accomplish that.

Kevin spoke, breaking into his thoughts, “Hello, Richard, is there anything I can do…”

Richard set his sunglasses on the table and didn’t even glance at Kevin before he interrupted his assistant’s flow of words. “I mean this in the nicest way possible…”

Kevin’s voice reflected the grin on his face. “Consider me gone.”

As the door closed behind him, Richard still hadn’t really moved or spoken, but his gaze was drawn to the open laptop on the table now and what Stevie had been doing when he’d arrived. The video player was open. “Is that…”

She nodded, and it occurred to him that she was nervous now that he could read her posture and the way she worrying her lip. “Yeah. I really need you to see this first.”

Anxiety began to set in. “Is everything okay?”

She giggled then, filling him with relief. “Oh yes, just…I want you to experience this moment as close to the way that I did as you can. And I really can’t talk any more about this until you do.”

It was a lovely sentiment as he picked up the computer and moved them both to the sofa, where they could watch it in comfort. He slipped his arms around her and rested a hand on her belly, rubbing it affectionately as she played the video.

Richard could tell that someone took the time to edit it so that it made a little movie, filming Stevie as she was in the taxi with a bladder that was full to bursting. She spoke to the camera as if she’d been speaking to him. ' _I have to pee! I drank a gallon of water this morning, there’s better not be an accident or it’s going to be a disaster.'_

Richard chuckled as he planted a kiss on her temple, “Why do they have you fill your bladder?”

“Ultrasound waves bounce off of liquid. The amniotic sac isn’t enough for every angle.”

“Who filmed?”

“Liz. She’s the one that edited it too. She’s the best at keeping secrets. She was good at keeping out of the camera as well.”

He was surprised when the tech greeted him as well as his wife, as if he were actually there, explaining the procedure. When Stevie commented, _We’re both excited to see baby broccoli,_ he threw his head back and laughed. “That’s going to be his or her nickname isn’t it.”

He was fascinated by watching the squiggles as the tech moved the probe around her belly. And when she stopped, panned over, marked a few things, and then moved again the woman murmured, ‘ _There’s a good reason that you’re measuring big, Stevie.’_ He watched as the tech picked up the clip board for a moment to look through the doctor’s notes.

His wife’s voice came through though the focus was still on the image. ‘ _Oh? Is everything alright?’_

At that point he could hear Liz gasp as she watched the tech move the probe again. ‘ _Everything’s just fine. Let me pan out a bit so you can see better…here’s a head…and a healthy heartbeat…’_

Richard’s heart was bursting with happiness at the sight of his baby. He was afraid to speak because he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes and he wanted to see more of the video. The probe was moved and there was the head again, at a different angle. ‘ _Now you see a head and a heart beat, but when I pan out…_ ’ It was clear that the baby they were looking at now was not the same baby they saw first because there were two babies. ‘ _You did say multiples run in your family, right?_ ’


End file.
